ThinkGeek—the online retailer where you can buy a Death Star waffle iron or an umbrella with the handle of Jon Snow’s sword—is ready for summer. The store just unveiled one-piece women’s bathing suits modeled after Star Trek: The Next Generation-era Starfleet uniforms, perfect for an afternoon in the Holodeck’s sauna program.
The swimwear comes in three colors: blue, gold, and red, which—as any geek worth her salt vampire knows—correspond to the three departments of Starfleet crew members (sciences, operations, and command). The designers draped collar pips down the right shoulder, so the $59.99 price tag includes the rank of captain for red and gold buyers, and commander for blue.
The “Trekini Swimwear” line also includes a cover-up romper, which kind of looks like those weird space robes Capt. Picard wore in his oft-interrupted down time, and a swim shirt modeled after the purple leotard worn by Deanna Troi until season six. (Some fans might find it ironic that the one bit of Troi-specific merchandise covers the most skin of any item in the line.)
We don’t see how ThinkGeek failed to conceive of a beach-ready shoulder bag resembling Worf’s baldric with a d'k tahg-shaped sunscreen bottle to go inside, but apparently there was only so far they were willing to boldly go.