The Fart That Started a Revolution

Chloe Effron / iStock Collage
Chloe Effron / iStock Collage

For over 20 years, King Apries loomed over Egypt with the confidence of a man who could not be shaken. His rivalry against the Babylonians, which took up much of his time on the throne, had seen him successfully hold off their spreading forces. When his enemies took over Jerusalem, displaced citizens found a new home in Elephantine and other areas under his watch. As of 570 BCE, life was good.

A history-making toot would change all of that.

In that year, Apries received word from Libya: the Greeks of Cyrene (a city-state in North Africa) were storming the land, and his assistance would be appreciated. Apries sent his men into battle, but they were outmatched. The losses were considerable. Families of the slain and surviving mercenaries began to look at Apries with a fresh pair of eyes. Had he considered them expendable?

Apries tried not to concern himself with the unrest, but it soon grew too distracting to ignore. Men began to talk of an uprising. To smother the mutiny, Apries sent one of his best generals, Amasis, to deliver a message: the King was displeased with the lack of loyalty.

Amasis did as he was instructed, traveling to the hub of the movement. Before he could get a word out, an insurgent walked up behind him and placed a helmet on his head. Why couldn’t Amasis be their king?

Amasis, though loyal to Apries, was not above an appeal to his ego. He decided that being their king would suit him just fine and remained in their company. When Apries got word of Amasis’s about-face, he sent another messenger, Patarbemis, to meet Amasis and insist the traitor turn himself in.

Patarbemis met Amasis while the latter idled on horseback and began to scold him on behalf of the real king. A defiant Amasis raised his buttocks from the saddle, farted, and told Patarbemis he could send that back to Apries.

The expulsion of wind was accompanied by a promise: Amasis would go back to Apries, but he'd bring some friends with him. A shocked Patarbemis returned to Sais, where Apries lived in a magnificent palace, and tried to deliver the gastronomic news to his ruler. But when Apries got wind of the fact Patarbemis had returned without Amasis, he ordered the man’s nose and ears hacked off as punishment.

Amasis: He who dealt it. Metropolitan Museum of Art

This would prove to be the beginning of Apries’s end. Patarbemis was a beloved subject in Sais, and civilians who heard of his cruel mistreatment sided with Amasis. When the would-be ruler made good on his promise and met Apries on the battlefield in Momemphis—his rebellious Egyptians against Apries’s Greek soldiers—Apries suffered a resounding defeat. There would be no comeuppance for the man who had dared to pass gas in his general direction. (Some accounts have Apries losing in battle up to three times before being captured.)

Amasis assumed the role of king in late 570 BCE and ruled until approximately 525 BCE. According to Herodotus, Amasis initially showed a measure of respect to Apries, keeping him prisoner rather than executing him, but his bloodthirsty subjects insisted it was offensive to keep him alive. Amasis shrugged and handed over the former ruler to the masses. They strangled and buried him.

Like any ruler, Amasis had dissidents of his own. Some begrudged him his daily ritual of drinking to excess; others complained he had only a common man’s lineage and was unworthy of rule. To illustrate his argument against the latter, Amasis had a washbowl used for vomiting and washing feet broken into pieces, crafted into the image of a god, and placed in a public area where it was to be viewed with reverence. After letting people get a look, Amasis revealed the object of their adoration was previously a puke bucket. It was a fitting metaphor for a man who started an overthrow of Egypt with a flatulent flourish.

Additional Sources:
The Complete Works of Herodotus

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The Office Star Angela Kinsey Would Love to Do a Reunion Special

Emma McIntyre / Getty Images
Emma McIntyre / Getty Images

Whenever a classic TV show is brought back for a revival, it usually splits the fanbase in half. While some people are happy to see their favorite characters return, others are worried about the series coming back in lackluster fashion. And when it comes to the idea of a potential reboot of The Office, the series' cast is just as split.

Steve Carell has been very public about not wanting NBC to bring the show back, but Angela Kinsey is siding with co-stars John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, and Ellie Kemper about welcoming a potential return to Scranton. The 48-year-old actress, who portrayed Angela Martin on the series, recently spoke with PopCulture.com, confirming she’d love to revisit the show.

"I would definitely be up for a reunion," Kinsey said. "I know a few cast members have talked about a special reunion episode to see where everyone is at. I would love that!"

Although many are torn on the idea of bringing The Office back, most fans would certainly be curious enoug to tune in and see what's going on with the Dunder Mifflin crew. Kinsey is no exception, saying, “I would love to know where these people are! I loved the show, I still love the show. I think it really holds up. I'm so thrilled that new audiences are finding it, so I would love that!"

Will it ever happen? It's hard to say. But while we wait to see if any official announcement is made, you can at least still binge The Office on Netflix and try to imagine what creepy thing Cousin Mose is doing these days.

[h/t PopCulture.com]

Harry Potter Fans Don’t Want to See the Movies Rebooted, Surprising No One

© 2011 Warner Bros. Harry Potter Publishing Rights (c) J.K. Rowling
© 2011 Warner Bros. Harry Potter Publishing Rights (c) J.K. Rowling

Although the Harry Potter franchise has one of the most dedicated fan bases in the world, that doesn’t mean fans are ready to see the series rebooted just yet. Yes, that would mean more movies to feed one’s obsession, but the general consensus is that it would be entirely too soon. Don’t believe us? A new poll might just prove it.

ComingSoon.net asked more than 2000 Potterheads if Warner Bros. should reboot the Harry Potter movie series, and a whopping 72 percent said they’re against it. The website also asked fans if reboots were made, how they should be done. Of those polled, 41 percent voted for it to be a direct sequel about Harry’s son, 35 percent voted for a spinoff TV series, 13 percent wanted another Fantastic Beasts spinoff, and a measly 11 percent showed support for a remake of all eight original films.

While it doesn’t look like a reboot will be in the works anytime soon (J.K. Rowling’s representatives just debunked a report about a TV series), that doesn’t mean it’s impossible for the future. Even star Daniel Radcliffe has entertained the idea, saying he believes he won’t be the last Potter portrayal he’ll see in his lifetime. But as long as Rowling and fans are against it, we probably won’t have to worry about it for a while.

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