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7 Bizarre Laws (That Are Actually Enforced)

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Outdated and odd statutes and ordinances are common in every state and often act as a history lesson: at some point, it made sense to prohibit anyone from playing pinball in Oakland, California. Some local laws, however, are not only strange but regularly enforced. Expect fines, a stern lecture or worse if you should ever attempt to.

1. Enjoy an alcoholic drink while standing (Woburn, Mass.)

Woburn simply will not tolerate vertical intoxication. According to the city’s License Commission [PDF], no restaurant is allowed to serve an alcoholic beverage to a person who isn’t seated; patrons are not permitted to carry booze or consume it unless they’re firmly rooted to a chair. Exceptions are made for businesses that are granted a special "Approved Standing License."

2. Buy a car or t-shirt on Sundays (Penn., Bergen County, N.J.)

So-called “Blue Laws,” a remnant of Puritan oversight, remain on the books in several states. Pennsylvania and other states prohibit the sales of motor vehicles on Sundays unless it’s a private transaction. (Shoppers can and do enjoy browsing in salesperson-free lots.) In Bergen County, New Jersey, the retail sale of books, clothes, furniture, and housewares is against the law. Try to score some socks and you might get slapped with a $250 fine [PDF].

3. Open a chain restaurant (Carmel-by-the-Sea, Calif.)

The oceanside city of Carmel-by-the-Sea—best known for Clint Eastwood’s mayoral stint in the 1980s—has cultivated a reputation for strange ordinances. Until Eastwood had it repealed, it was illegal to sell ice cream on public streets; high heels over two inches are prohibited, though that law isn’t enforced. But if you wanted to build a franchise empire there, you’re out of luck: the city doesn’t allow chain businesses within its one-mile radius, preferring visitors frequent one of the locally-owned storefronts.   

4. Pick up trash too early (Sandy Springs, Ga.)

The wheezing, clunky sound of garbage collection is a necessary evil—but lawmakers in the Atlanta suburb of Sandy Springs were so annoyed with it that they declared any attempt to collect trash before 7 a.m. a violation of the city’s noise ordinance. CNN reported sanitation worker Kevin McGill started his route at 5 a.m. last March and was quickly slapped with a 30-day jail sentence. (He wound up serving two weekends.)

5. Get drunk in a bar (Alaska)

Places where it’s not OK to be drunk: day care centers, operating rooms, shooting range. Places where getting drunk is encouraged: bars, weddings, school plays. Unfortunately for adult-beverage enthusiasts, Alaska isn’t on board. In 2012, the state sent undercover police to locate and arrest people who were publicly intoxicated in bars. Anchorage police told ABC News that officers target “drunk-plus” lushes, not just people “out having a good time.” Bartenders can also be penalized for serving to an overly-liquored patron.  

6. Own pet ducks (West Lafayette, Ohio)

The village of West Lafayette got its feathers ruffled when Iraq War veteran Darin Welker insisted on keeping over a dozen pet ducks at his residence. Welker claimed the animals helped him cope with post-traumatic stress disorder; CBS News reported some of them would occasionally take up residence on his recliner. Welker paid $50 for the minor misdemeanor of keeping farm animals within village limits.

7. Dangle fake testicles from your truck (Bonneau, S.C.)

Owing to a South Carolina law that prohibits obscene or indecent bumper stickers, 65-year-old Virginia Tice was ticketed $445 for sporting a pair of plastic testicles that hung from her vehicle’s trailer hitch. According to the Post and Courier, Tice declined to pay and requested a jury trial. If only Oakland's pinball enthusiasts had been as determined.

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New Pop Chart Lab Poster Is a Boozy Blueprint For Making Classic Cocktails
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Pop Chart Lab's posters combine design with data, and their latest offering—a full breakdown of the ingredients in 60 classic cocktails—is no exception. From the exact ratio of gin and tonic that should go into a G & T (2 ounces and 4 ounces, respectively) to the garnishes you'll need to make a proper Tom Collins (a maraschino cherry and a lemon twist), the 3-foot-by-2-foot "Constitutions of Classic Cocktails" artwork teaches mixology basics you'd typically learn in bartending school, sans tuition fee.

In addition to mainstays like the Negroni and the Whiskey Sour, the poster also includes relatively obscure drinks (ever heard of the Golden Dawn, or the Journalist?), which you can attempt after drinking your way through your favorite concoctions. Before you know it, you'll be explaining to your friends the intricacies of why you should stir martinis instead of shaking them (sorry, James Bond), or the difference between a highball and a Collins glass. Bottoms up!

"Constitutions of Classic Cocktails" costs $37, and is currently available for pre-order. Shipping begins on Friday, October 20, 2017. (To see the poster's details up close, visit Pop Chart Lab's website and click on the diagram.)

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Attention Beer Lovers: A London Brewery Is Hiring a Professional Taste-Tester
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Beer lovers aren’t given many chances to discuss their passion for imbibing at job interviews. But a new open position at London's Meantime Brewing Company lists that expertise as one of the top qualifications. As Fortune reports, the brewery is seeking a professional beer taster to help improve its products.

The brewery’s part-time employee will “join the panel brewers as they taste, discuss, and pass opinion on a range of different beers,” according to the job listing on LinkedIn. On top of steady access to free booze three hours a week, the taster will receive a competitive salary “with beer benefits.” As the description reads: “Yes, this could just be the best job in the world.”

Meantime isn’t just considering any casual beer drinker for the role. Their ideal candidate will have a precise palate that can distinguish “chocolate malt from dark malt” and “Fuggles from Cascade hops.” They will also have an understanding of global consumer markets, a functioning knowledge of English, and an extensive beer vocabulary. The brewery is located in the London borough of Greenwich, so applicants who aren’t local should be willing to relocate.

Founded in 1999, the Meantime Brewing Company made its name on the beer scene with signature beverages like their London Lager, London Pale Ale, and Yakima Red. If you’re interested in joining the team, post 30 words on your LinkedIn profile explaining why you deserve the gig, along with any photos or videos that may help your case, with the hashtag #pickmemeantime. The company will narrow down the pool to three candidates for an in-person beer tasting before deciding their top pick. Meanwhile, you can prepare for the job by brushing up on your beer facts.

[h/t Fortune]

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