7 Board Games That Probably Weren't Appropriate for Kids

By Danny Groner |

Board games are a time-honored tradition for kids of all generations to enjoy, and parents depend on them to keep their young ones in check for at least a few minutes at a time. Some competitive games have the added benefit of being educational, too. But then there are those few that, while popular or memorable, don't seem like they should be a part of shaping young minds. Here's a look at seven games that are probably best left on the toy store shelves.

1. Busting balls?

The soft-spoken narrator of "Ball Buster" appears to be in on the joke. It comes from a different era, before double entendres lost their subtlety. This promises to be "a family game" that can be played with kids or without them. The mother winks at the audience upon busting her husband's balls.

2. Snot a Good Idea

What kid doesn't love a good booger, right? Playing this Dutch game is likely to have kids reaching deep inside their noses trying to pull out sticks of snot like they found inside of the disembodied head of "Snotty Snotter." Some children love to search for gold inside their nostrils, and this game capitalizes on the curiosity and anticipation that kids exhibit. But it's not the best lesson for them to learn at an early age if parents wish to ever begin to stamp out the nosepicking.

3. Playing with Poo

Giving your dog a tasty treat sounds like something valuable and humane. But in "Doggie Doo," the goal is not to satisfy the pooch—it's to get the mutt to pass it on the other side. "You win by collecting the doggie's doo," the commercial excitedly professes. One kid in the ad seems to realize what a bad idea this is; he holds his nose and braces for the stench.

4. Cruel and Unusual Punishment

Another flashback to a different time reveals some misguided and questionable tactics to keep your kids entertained. "Pie Face" is exactly what it sounds like: a guillotine-like structure that requires children to stick their faces inside of a cardboard outline and prepare to get splattered with a pie. "Get your face full of goo," the ad boldly says. A decade later, children hoped to avoid being "Swacked!" when they looked to remove small pieces of cheese from the gameboard.

5. Beware of Sharks

The imagery in the commercial for "Shark Attack" should come with a PG-13 rating as rowers try to steer clear of the incoming shark looking to ravage them and their boats. Even cruiselines aren't safe from the gigantic "maniac" on their tails: "It's coming to get you." The last survivor will win the game, but everyone might go home with nightmares and a fear of ever going into the nearest ocean.

6. Pig's Delight

Feed this pig a few burgers, then pump his head and hope he doesn't "go pop." His growing belly can only ward off so much indigestion before he absolutely blows. For those who revel in giving animals food they shouldn't be eating, the game "Pig Goes Pop" is a riot. However, some parents may not want to encourage their kids to participate in this kind of terrorizing behavior. Thankfully, the game doesn't lead to a massive mess full of pig guts and fluids (though that's what the ad seems to imply).

7. Bedbugs Everywhere

It's every parent and New York City resident's worst fear: bedbugs. But the notion of the cost and effort it takes to rid your furniture of these oft-returning pests is lost on tykes. They instead view bedbugs as something they're lightheartedly warned about when being tucked into bed, and in the "BedBugs" game, the little and speedy bugs are a source of amusement. Who can catch the most? The real winner might actually hope to finish last.