Tired of your microwave taking two, three, even four minutes to cook a meal? Sick of conventional "heating" technology that makes your meals in a boringly linear, A-to-Z manner? Sounds like you need the Timecrowave, which uses simple time-travel technology to bring you hot meals...from the future!
It's easy -- after eating your cooked meal, just remember to send that frozen meal back in time to the precise moment when you removed it from the Timecrowave. What could possibly go wrong?
(Note:... READ ON