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20 Funny Valentine's Day Cards to Give Your Loved Ones

Paper Source
Paper Source

Show how much you care by giving your loved one the gift of laughter. 

1. SWEAR YOUR LOVE; $9

So excited for the holiday that you can't filter your cursing? Then this uncensored card is for you (the black bar is not printed on the card). 

Find it: Amazon

2. THE PERFECT MATCH; $4

Found a fiery love affair online? Send them a punny card to celebrate the sparks the two of you share. 

Find it: Amazon

3. WOOF; $4

Dachshund lovers will get a kick out of this artful card from Paper Source. 

Find it: Paper Source

4. PIZZA PARTY; $5

No robot is more charming than the friendly BMO from the popular cartoon Adventure Time. 

Find it: Amazon

5. THEY'RE NOT FOR EVERYONE; $5

For some people, a festive treat; for others, heart-shaped chalk. 

Find it: Etsy

6. PERFECT WITH A BOX OF EGGOS; $5

Valentine's Day can be a little spooky with a Stranger Things-themed card. 

Find it: Amazon

7. TAKE IT SLOW; $4

Not ready to say "I love you"? A simple "I love... hanging with you" will suffice for now.

Find it: Etsy 

8. MATHEMATICAL; $5

This nerdy card is a great option for your favorite math lover.

Find it: Amazon

9. I—GASP—LOVE—WHEEZE—YOU; $4

Couple this card with a pocket protector and it's the perfect gift.

Find it: Etsy

10. NETFLIX OR HULU?; $4

After the 20th episode of 30 Rock, it might really seem like you've been on the couch forever. 

Find it: Etsy

11. A LOVE LIKE NONE-OTTER; $5

Did you know that otters fall asleep holding hands so they don't drift apart? These affectionate little animals should be the holiday's official mascots.

Find it: Amazon

12. PASS THE CHOCOLATE; $4

Let's be honest: The best part of being in a committed relationship is not having to worry about your appearance. Celebrate the holiday with a third scoop of ice cream and this card.

Find it: Etsy

13. A LITTLE CHEESY; $6

This Valentine's Day, say it with pizza.

Find it: Urban Outfitters

14. WE'LL TAKE A BAKER'S DOZEN; $7

Show your significant other that you love them (almost) as much as bagels.

Find it: Paper Source

15. SPELLBINDING OPTIONS; $17

Have a lot of Valentines this year? This set of 28 magical cards are perfect for handing out to classmates, co-workers, or even people on the street. 

Find it: Paper Source

16. GIVE THIS ONE TO YOUR ANGELA; $5

When you're lacking the right words, let Dwight say them for you.

Find it: Amazon

17. LET'S MEAT UP; $4

Most people don't associate meatloaf with love, but who doesn't enjoy a cute, anthropomorphized hunk of meat? 

Find it: Paper Source

18. PUT A PIN IN IT; $14

Don't feel like a card is enough? This special pink card comes with a tiny enamel pin shaped like a bottle of rosé. 

Find it: Urban Outfitters

19. I LLOVE YOU; $4

When a single "L" isn't enough to convey your feelings.

Find it: Paper Source

20. I LOVE BREW; $5

This card will go great with a hot cup of coffee. 

Find it: Amazon

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presidents
George Washington’s Incredible Hair Routine

America's Founding Fathers had some truly defining locks, but we tend to think of those well-coiffed white curls—with their black ribbon hair ties and perfectly-managed frizz—as being wigs. Not so in the case of the main man himself, George Washington.

As Robert Krulwich reported at National Geographic, a 2010 biography on our first president—Washington: A Life, by Ron Chernow—reveals that the man “never wore a wig.” In fact, his signature style was simply the result of an elaborately constructed coiffure that far surpasses most morning hair routines, and even some “fancy” hair routines.

The style Washington was sporting was actually a tough look for his day. In the late 18th century, such a hairdo would have been worn by military men.

While the hair itself was all real, the color was not. Washington’s true hue was a reddish brown color, which he powdered in a fashion that’s truly delightful to imagine. George would (likely) don a powdering robe, dip a puff made of silk strips into his powder of choice (there are a few options for what he might have used), bend his head over, and shake the puff out over his scalp in a big cloud.

To achieve the actual ‘do, Washington kept his hair long and would then pull it back into a tight braid or simply tie it at the back. This helped to showcase the forehead, which was very in vogue at the time. On occasion, he—or an attendant—would bunch the slack into a black silk bag at the nape of the neck, perhaps to help protect his clothing from the powder. Then he would fluff the hair on each side of his head to make “wings” and secure the look with pomade or good old natural oils.

To get a better sense of the play-by-play, check out the awesome illustrations by Wendy MacNaughton that accompany Krulwich’s post.

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"American Mall," Bloomberg
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fun
Unwinnable Video Game Challenges You to Keep a Shopping Mall in Business
"American Mall," Bloomberg
"American Mall," Bloomberg

Shopping malls, once the cultural hub of every suburb in America, have become a punchline in the e-commerce era. There are plenty of malls around today, but they tend to be money pits, considering the hundreds of "dead malls" haunting the landscape. Just how hard is it to keep a mall afloat in the current economy? American Mall, a new video game from Bloomberg, attempts to give an answer.

After choosing which tycoon character you want as your stand-in, you're thrown into a mall—rendered in 1980s-style graphics—already struggling to stay in business. The building is filled with rats and garbage you have to clean up if you want to keep shoppers happy. Every few seconds you're contacted by another store owner begging you to lower their rent, and you must either take the loss or risk them packing up for good. When stores are vacated, it's your job to fill them, but it turns out there aren't too many businesses interested in setting up shop in a dying mall.

You can try gimmicks like food trucks and indoor playgrounds to keep customers interested, but in the end your mall will bleed too much money to support itself. You can try playing the bleak game for yourself here—maybe it will put some of the retail casualties of the last decade into perspective.

[h/t Co.Design]

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