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20 Funny Valentine's Day Cards to Give Your Loved Ones

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Show how much you care by giving your loved one the gift of laughter. 

1. SWEAR YOUR LOVE; $9

So excited for the holiday that you can't filter your cursing? Then this uncensored card is for you (the black bar is not printed on the card). 

Find it: Amazon

2. THE PERFECT MATCH; $4

Found a fiery love affair online? Send them a punny card to celebrate the sparks the two of you share. 

Find it: Amazon

3. WOOF; $4

Dachshund lovers will get a kick out of this artful card from Paper Source. 

Find it: Paper Source

4. PIZZA PARTY; $5

No robot is more charming than the friendly BMO from the popular cartoon Adventure Time. 

Find it: Amazon

5. THEY'RE NOT FOR EVERYONE; $5

For some people, a festive treat; for others, heart-shaped chalk. 

Find it: Etsy

6. PERFECT WITH A BOX OF EGGOS; $5

Valentine's Day can be a little spooky with a Stranger Things-themed card. 

Find it: Amazon

7. TAKE IT SLOW; $4

Not ready to say "I love you"? A simple "I love... hanging with you" will suffice for now.

Find it: Etsy 

8. MATHEMATICAL; $5

This nerdy card is a great option for your favorite math lover.

Find it: Amazon

9. I—GASP—LOVE—WHEEZE—YOU; $4

Couple this card with a pocket protector and it's the perfect gift.

Find it: Etsy

10. NETFLIX OR HULU?; $4

After the 20th episode of 30 Rock, it might really seem like you've been on the couch forever. 

Find it: Etsy

11. A LOVE LIKE NONE-OTTER; $5

Did you know that otters fall asleep holding hands so they don't drift apart? These affectionate little animals should be the holiday's official mascots.

Find it: Amazon

12. PASS THE CHOCOLATE; $4

Let's be honest: The best part of being in a committed relationship is not having to worry about your appearance. Celebrate the holiday with a third scoop of ice cream and this card.

Find it: Etsy

13. A LITTLE CHEESY; $6

This Valentine's Day, say it with pizza.

Find it: Urban Outfitters

14. WE'LL TAKE A BAKER'S DOZEN; $7

Show your significant other that you love them (almost) as much as bagels.

Find it: Paper Source

15. SPELLBINDING OPTIONS; $17

Have a lot of Valentines this year? This set of 28 magical cards are perfect for handing out to classmates, co-workers, or even people on the street. 

Find it: Paper Source

16. GIVE THIS ONE TO YOUR ANGELA; $5

When you're lacking the right words, let Dwight say them for you.

Find it: Amazon

17. LET'S MEAT UP; $4

Most people don't associate meatloaf with love, but who doesn't enjoy a cute, anthropomorphized hunk of meat? 

Find it: Paper Source

18. PUT A PIN IN IT; $14

Don't feel like a card is enough? This special pink card comes with a tiny enamel pin shaped like a bottle of rosé. 

Find it: Urban Outfitters

19. I LLOVE YOU; $4

When a single "L" isn't enough to convey your feelings.

Find it: Paper Source

20. I LOVE BREW; $5

This card will go great with a hot cup of coffee. 

Find it: Amazon

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Big Questions
How Are Balloons Chosen for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade?
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The balloons for this year's Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade range from the classics like Charlie Brown to more modern characters who have debuted in the past few years, including The Elf On The Shelf. New to the parade this year are Olaf from Disney's Frozen and Chase from Paw Patrol. does the retail giant choose which characters will appear in the lineup?

Balloon characters are chosen in different ways. For example, in 2011, Macy’s requested B. Boy after parade organizers saw the Tim Burton retrospective at the Museum of Modern Art. (The company had been adding a series of art balloons to the parade lineup since 2005, which it called the Blue Sky Gallery.) When it comes to commercial balloons, though, it appears to be all about the Benjamins.

First-time balloons cost at least $190,000—this covers admission into the parade and the cost of balloon construction. After the initial year, companies can expect to pay Macy’s about $90,000 to get a character into the parade lineup. If you consider that the balloons are out for only an hour or so, that’s about $1500 a minute.

Have you got a Big Question you'd like us to answer? If so, let us know by emailing us at bigquestions@mentalfloss.com.

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If You Can Solve This Puzzle, You Might Just Be Qualified to Be an Astronaut
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by Reader's Digest Editors

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Once a child hits kindergarten, the answer to this question starts to become a bit more reasonable. Sure, at age 3, little Jimmy wanted to be a dinosaur when he grew up, but by age 5, Jimmy realizes how preposterous this career path would be. After all, dinosaur graduate school is entirely too cost prohibitive nowadays.

Beginning in the latter half of the 20th century, more and more kids aspired to reach for the stars, stating firmly that when they grew up they would be an astronaut. And there might just be a way to test the viability of this claim, courtesy of British astronaut Tim Peake. Peake posted a puzzle pulled straight from his astronaut selection test to his Facebook page—can you figure it out?

Since he originally posted the puzzle on October 21, the brain-buster has been shared, liked, and commented on thousands of time.

 
See Also...
Welcome to the World's Most Useless Airport
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Good News—People Who Daydream in Meetings Are Actually Smarter!
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10 Myths About Frozen Food You Need to Stop Believing
 

Although the instructions may appear to be pretty vague, there is a correct answer; in the paraphrased words of Maxine Nightingale, the dot ends up right back where it started from, on the bottom.

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