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Paper Source

20 Funny Valentine's Day Cards to Give Your Loved Ones

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Paper Source

Show how much you care by giving your loved one the gift of laughter. 

1. SWEAR YOUR LOVE; $9

So excited for the holiday that you can't filter your cursing? Then this uncensored card is for you (the black bar is not printed on the card). 

Find it: Amazon

2. THE PERFECT MATCH; $4

Found a fiery love affair online? Send them a punny card to celebrate the sparks the two of you share. 

Find it: Amazon

3. WOOF; $4

Dachshund lovers will get a kick out of this artful card from Paper Source. 

Find it: Paper Source

4. PIZZA PARTY; $5

No robot is more charming than the friendly BMO from the popular cartoon Adventure Time. 

Find it: Amazon

5. THEY'RE NOT FOR EVERYONE; $5

For some people, a festive treat; for others, heart-shaped chalk. 

Find it: Etsy

6. PERFECT WITH A BOX OF EGGOS; $5

Valentine's Day can be a little spooky with a Stranger Things-themed card. 

Find it: Amazon

7. TAKE IT SLOW; $4

Not ready to say "I love you"? A simple "I love... hanging with you" will suffice for now.

Find it: Etsy 

8. MATHEMATICAL; $5

This nerdy card is a great option for your favorite math lover.

Find it: Amazon

9. I—GASP—LOVE—WHEEZE—YOU; $4

Couple this card with a pocket protector and it's the perfect gift.

Find it: Etsy

10. NETFLIX OR HULU?; $4

After the 20th episode of 30 Rock, it might really seem like you've been on the couch forever. 

Find it: Etsy

11. A LOVE LIKE NONE-OTTER; $5

Did you know that otters fall asleep holding hands so they don't drift apart? These affectionate little animals should be the holiday's official mascots.

Find it: Amazon

12. PASS THE CHOCOLATE; $4

Let's be honest: The best part of being in a committed relationship is not having to worry about your appearance. Celebrate the holiday with a third scoop of ice cream and this card.

Find it: Etsy

13. A LITTLE CHEESY; $6

This Valentine's Day, say it with pizza.

Find it: Urban Outfitters

14. WE'LL TAKE A BAKER'S DOZEN; $7

Show your significant other that you love them (almost) as much as bagels.

Find it: Paper Source

15. SPELLBINDING OPTIONS; $17

Have a lot of Valentines this year? This set of 28 magical cards are perfect for handing out to classmates, co-workers, or even people on the street. 

Find it: Paper Source

16. GIVE THIS ONE TO YOUR ANGELA; $5

When you're lacking the right words, let Dwight say them for you.

Find it: Amazon

17. LET'S MEAT UP; $4

Most people don't associate meatloaf with love, but who doesn't enjoy a cute, anthropomorphized hunk of meat? 

Find it: Paper Source

18. PUT A PIN IN IT; $14

Don't feel like a card is enough? This special pink card comes with a tiny enamel pin shaped like a bottle of rosé. 

Find it: Urban Outfitters

19. I LLOVE YOU; $4

When a single "L" isn't enough to convey your feelings.

Find it: Paper Source

20. I LOVE BREW; $5

This card will go great with a hot cup of coffee. 

Find it: Amazon

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iStock
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Art
A Beached Whale Sculpture Popped Up on the Banks of Paris's Seine River
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iStock

In Paris, dozens of fish varieties live in the Seine River. Now, the Associated Press reports that the famous waterway is home to a beached whale.

Rest assured, eco-warriors: The sperm whale is actually a lifelike sculpture, installed on an embankment next to Notre Dame Cathedral by Belgian artists’ collective Captain Boomer. It’s meant to raise environmental awareness, and evoke "the child in everyone who still is puzzled about what is real and what is not,” collective member Bart Van Peel told the Associated Press.

The 65-foot sculpture has reportedly startled and confused many Parisians, thanks in part to a team of fake scientists deployed to “survey” the whale. One collective member even posted a video on social media, warning Parisians that there “may be others in the water” if they opt to take a dip in the river, The Local reported.

The whale sculpture is only temporary—but as for Captain Boomer, this isn’t their first whale-related stunt. Last summer, the collective installed a similar riverside artwork in Rennes, France, and they also once strapped a large-scale whale sculpture to the back of a truck and drove it around France.

[h/t Associated Press]

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Internet Archive // Sketch the Cow
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fun
Play the Sneakers Computer Press Kit from 1992
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Internet Archive // Sketch the Cow

In September 1992, the computer hacking movie Sneakers hit theaters. To correspond with its launch, members of the press received a floppy disk containing a mysterious DOS program that, when launched, asked for a password. Once the reporters "hacked" their way in, they found the Sneakers Computer Press Kit. Thanks to the Internet Archive, you can play at being the film press of 1992.

It's hard to characterize exactly what this electronic press kit is. Is it a game? Sort of. It's essentially a very gentle computer hacking simulator, in which the "hacking" consists entirely of guessing passwords (complete with helpful prompts from the program itself), and the payload you discover is silly stuff like mini-biographies of Robert Redford, Dan Aykroyd, and Sidney Poitier. Still, it's a good match for the film itself, which helped set the template for Hollywood depictions of computer hacking.

A paper folder lies open on a wooden floor, with a black floppy disk on top. The folder is labeled SNEAKERS in giant red letters, as is the floppy. Inside the folder is printed material. On the right flap of the folder are instructions on how to load it.
Inside the Sneakers Computer Press Kit's paper folder. (The right flap contains installation instructions, along with a note that the studio will FedEx printed material if the user doesn't have access to a printer.)
Internet Archive // Sketch the Cow

Always remember: "My voice is my passport. Verify me." Now, get cracking on this press kit and don't be flummoxed—if you can't figure out a password right away, just wait a moment.

(Incidentally, Sneakers did also include printed materials for the press, in case they lacked a computer and/or the patience to deal with this approach. But who in the world would look at that, when they could play with this? There's also a method in the Computer Press Kit that allows the user to print out more detailed materials—provided they have a printer, and it's attached to a particular printer port on the computer.)

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