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13 Vindictive Krampus Gifts to Give Naughty Loved Ones

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Think Christmas is too commercial? Are your kids spoiled and out of control? Well, take heart: It's Krampus season! For those who missed the Alpine folklore lesson (or the 2015 movie starring Adam Scott), Krampus is an anthropomorphic goat-ish creature who punishes misbehaving children, sometimes by throwing them in a sack and hitting them. We don't actually condone handing your kids over to a demonic goat, but we'll take the story as a good behavior incentive over Elf on the Shelf any day. Here are some gifts celebrating the darker side of Christmas.

1. ORNAMENT; $10

Every tree needs at least one Krampus ornament to balance out all the cheery Santas and elves. This glass ornament features the lovable demon sitting on a sack of wailing children. Put this item on the tree and the rest of the ornaments are sure to stay in line.

Find It: Amazon

2. SWEATER; $35

Show up to your next sweater party in something a little different. With patterned chains and a particularly goat-y image of Krampus on the front, this get-up is sure to make fellow party guests second-guess another glass of spiked eggnog. It says gruss vom Krampus or "greetings from Krampus."

Find It: Amazon

3. STOCKING; $12

This ominous felt stocking will give friends and family pause. Will they find small presents, or coal? If the frightened-looking children are any indication, it's going to be coal; and at 16 inches long, this stocking can fit enough to power a tiny train.

Find It: Amazon

4. SHIRT; $7-$16

This cotton t-shirt is great for the Scrooge in your life this holiday season—or every day if they really hate children. The design of Krampus stuffing children into his basket is professionally screenprinted onto the shirt so it can be worn for many Christmases to come.

Find It: Amazon

5. PILLOWCASE; $4

As the holidays roll around, it's time to break out the decorative towels and tiny soaps for the bathroom. The living room can also get a makeover with a few of these surprisingly affordable pillow cases, which fit snugly over 20-inch pillows. The linen covers feature Krampus sneaking up on some unsuspecting children, branch in hand.

Find It: Amazon

6. HOLIDAY CARDS; $16

This vintage-style batch of cards comes in a metal tin with Krampus's scary mug painted on the top. There are two cards of each design, with 20 cards in total. Each menacing card comes with its own bright red envelope that says "Christmas fun." The cards' pictures range from Krampus chaining up crying children to the goat-demon taking a few kids on a joyride around town.

Find It: Amazon

7. MASK; $30

Want to really scare your grandmother this holiday? Just pop on this alarming latex mask and hide behind the tree. It has gold-painted horns and a long tongue that puts Gene Simmons to shame.

Find It: Amazon

8. CINNAMON CANDY CANES; $5

If candy canes are the official candy of Santa Claus, then these fiery cinnamon candy canes belong to Krampus. The devilish candies sport red-and-black stripes that will look great next to the Krampus ornament.

Find It: Amazon

9. WRAPPING PAPER; $11

This wrapping paper sends a loud and clear message to the recipient: "OK, you get a gift this year, but watch it." Alternatively, you can use it to wrap up some lumps of coal and call it a day. Each pack comes with two 20-by-30 inch sheets—perfect when your whole family has been up to no good.

Find It: Amazon

10. PATCH; $8

Add an edge to your denim jacket, tote bag, girl scout uniform, or any other piece of clothing that could use a threatening yet festive touch. The digitally embroidered patch has an iron-on back for a quick application.

Find It: Etsy

11. ENAMEL PIN; $12

For something a little less permanent, jackets and accessories can be adorned with this soft enamel pin. The 1.5-inch-tall pin shows Krampus with his signature birch branches and basket of naughty children. Despite its seasonal subject matter, the simple design lets the wearer enjoy the pin all year round.

Find It: Etsy

12. SOY CANDLE; $20

Nothing says relaxation like cuddling up near a long-tongued Christmas demon candle. The soy wax candles are handmade in a mold with eco-friendly dye. The 5-inch figures come in either red or green for the holidays.

Find It: Etsy

13. THE KRAMPUS AND THE OLD, DARK CHRISTMAS; $16

Read up on the rich history of the child-abusing demon with this fascinating tome from author Al Ridenour. Ridenour takes an anthropological approach by visiting places in Austria to experience the Krampus festivities first-hand. Readers can dive into the complex mythology and culture that produced Santa's spiritual foil.

Find It: Amazon

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7 Surprising Uses for Tequila
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Happy National Margarita Day! While you could celebrate by having a few drinks, you could also skip the hangover by unlocking one of tequila's amazing abilities outside of the glass. Many spirits are useful for activities beyond sipping (vodka, for example, is a great stain and odor remover), but tequila holds some particularly magical powers. Here are just a few of them.

1. SYNTHETIC BAUBLE

In 2008, a team of scientists in Mexico discovered that when the heated vapor from an 80-proof tequila blanco was combined with a silicon or stainless steel substrate, it resulted in the formation of diamond films. These films can be used in commercial applications, such as electrical insulators, or to create one big fake diamond. Who knew that spending $50 on a bottle of Don Julio was such a wise investment?

2. ALTERNATIVE ENERGY SOURCE

Keeping with the science theme: In 2011, researchers at England’s University of Oxford suggested that we may one day be gassing up our cars with tequila. They identified agave, the plant from which tequila is produced, as a potential biofuel source—and a particularly attractive one, as the plant itself is not consumed by humans and can thrive in desert climates.

3. WEIGHT LOSS SUPPLEMENT

Scientists have long promoted the potential benefits of the agave plant for its ability to help dissolve fats and lower cholesterol. The bad news? These properties get a bit diluted when the plant is distilled into alcohol. Even more so when it's whipped into a sugary margarita.

4. SLEEP AID

Take three or more shots of tequila and you’re bound to pass out. A single shot can have the same effect—just not in that drunken stupor kind of way. Relaxation is one of the positive side effects of tequila drinking; a small amount (1 to 1.5 ounces) before bedtime can reportedly help you fall asleep faster and sleep more soundly.

5. COLON CLEANSER

Too much of a good thing may not bring a welcome turn of events for your liver … but your colon will thank you! Researchers at Mexico’s University of Guadalajara have identified the blue agave as a potentially helpful source for delivering drugs to the colon in order to treat colitis, IBS, Crohn’s disease and even cancer.

6. DIABETES PREVENTATIVE

If Ernest Hemingway had known about the healing properties of tequila, his signature drink might have been a margarita instead of a daiquiri. In 2010, experiments conducted at Mexico’s Polytechnic Institute of Guanajuato revealed that the agave plant (which is high in fructans, a fructose polymer) could stimulate the GLP-1 hormone, aiding in increased insulin production.

7. COLD REMEDY

“Plenty of liquids” is a well-known remedy for getting oneself out from under the weather. But expanding that definition to include a kicked-up shot of tequila makes a day laid out on the couch sound much more appealing. In the 1930s, doctors in Mexico recommended the following concoction to fight off a cold.

.5 ounce of tequila blanco
.5 ounce of agave nectar (to eliminate bacteria and soothe sore throats)
.5 ounce of fresh lime juice (for Vitamin C)

Though some people (including tequila companies) swear by its healing powers, others say it's hogwash.

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Big Questions
Where Should You Place the Apostrophe in President's Day?
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Happy Presidents’ Day! Or is it President’s Day? Or Presidents Day? What you call the national holiday depends on where you are, who you’re honoring, and how you think we’re celebrating.

Saying "President’s Day" infers that the day belongs to a singular president, such as George Washington or Abraham Lincoln, whose birthdays are the basis for the holiday. On the other hand, referring to it as "Presidents’ Day" means that the day belongs to all of the presidents—that it’s their day collectively. Finally, calling the day "Presidents Day"—plural with no apostrophe—would indicate that we’re honoring all POTUSes past and present (yes, even Andrew Johnson), but that no one president actually owns the day.

You would think that in the nearly 140 years since "Washington’s Birthday" was declared a holiday in 1879, someone would have officially declared a way to spell the day. But in fact, even the White House itself hasn’t chosen a single variation for its style guide. They spelled it “President’s Day” here and “Presidents’ Day” here.


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Maybe that indecision comes from the fact that Presidents Day isn’t even a federal holiday. The federal holiday is technically still called “Washington’s Birthday,” and states can choose to call it whatever they want. Some states, like Iowa, don’t officially acknowledge the day at all. And the location of the punctuation mark is a moot point when individual states choose to call it something else entirely, like “George Washington’s Birthday and Daisy Gatson Bates Day” in Arkansas, or “Birthdays of George Washington/Thomas Jefferson” in Alabama. (Alabama loves to split birthday celebrations, by the way; the third Monday in January celebrates both Martin Luther King, Jr., and Robert E. Lee.)

You can look to official grammar sources to declare the right way, but even they don’t agree. The AP Stylebook prefers “Presidents Day,” while Chicago Style uses “Presidents’ Day.”

The bottom line: There’s no rhyme or reason to any of it. Go with what feels right. And even then, if you’re in one of those states that has chosen to spell it “President’s Day”—Washington, for example—and you use one of the grammar book stylings instead, you’re still technically wrong.

Have you got a Big Question you'd like us to answer? If so, let us know by emailing us at bigquestions@mentalfloss.com.

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