RABBIT HASH HAS A NEW MAYOR

In an election story that was buried under national news, the town of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky, elected a new mayor after current mayor Lucy Lou declined to run again. The winner of the election was a pit bull named Brynneth Pawltrow, or Brynn for short. Retiring mayor Lucy Lou is also a dog, as were her two predecessors as mayor of Rabbit Hash. The mayoral election in the unincorporated community takes place by votes that cost a dollar, which goes to the Rabbit Hash Historical Society. Community members are encouraged to vote early and often. The duties of the new mayor will include guarding the porch of the Rabbit Hash General Store and greeting visitors. Brynn indicates that she is up for the challenge.  

DRUNK DRIVER RUNS OVER HIMSELF

An unnamed man in Orlando, Florida, became a drunk driving victim when his own truck ran over him. He left a strip club despite bouncers trying to stop him. As soon as he pulled out of the parking lot, he fell out of his truck, and the back wheels of the vehicle ran over him. The truck continued until it hit a house. The man got up and ran away. However, authorities were able to find him because he left his driver's license at the bar. He has been charged with leaving the scene of an accident

SQUIRREL TAKES REVENGE ON POLITICIAN

Howard Brookins Jr. is an alderman for Chicago's 21st ward. He recently went on record as an opponent of the city's squirrels. At a city meeting in October, he complained about the damage that squirrels do to garbage cans. According to the Chicago Sun Times:

“It’s a pet peeve. It does invoke some giggles. But we are spending too much money on replacing garbage carts because the squirrels continue to eat through ’em,” Brookins, former chairman of the City Council’s Black Caucus, declared.

His stance added extra irony to an incident last week when Brookins was riding his bike and a squirrel jumped into his front wheel. Brookins was thrown to the pavement. The alderman lost several teeth and will require plastic surgery for a facial fracture. He was able to joke about the squirrels taking revenge on him.

BRITAIN BANS BEAN AD OVER SAFETY CONCERNS

A television ad for Heinz beans has been pulled from the air in the UK by the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) for safety reasons. The ad shows people using empty bean cans as percussion instruments to tap out a song. The ASA ruled that viewers might try to recreate the ad in real life and cut themselves on the cans. Heinz is not going to fight the order because the ad campaign was already near its end.   

HOME INVADER WAS DRESSED AS A GORILLA

A group of women college students in Rexburg, Idaho, were frightened by a man who burst into their apartment last Friday. They couldn't identify him because he was dressed in a gorilla suit. The gorilla came in through the front door, ran around the apartment, knocked over a few things, and left. Police said it was the second incident of its kind, as a gorilla did the same thing at another student apartment a week earlier, that one occupied by men. Rexburg Police Capt. Randy Lewis told East Idaho News:

“We don’t care if it’s a prank or if he was just monkeying around. We’re taking this serious and the perpetrator could be charged with unlawful entry.”

BIRD THROWS SNAKE AT CAR

Australia is often the butt of jokes about wildlife that is out to kill people. A dashcam video shows evidence that this might be true. A group of people were traveling on a highway near Wivenhoe Dam in Queensland when a bird of prey crossed their path and tossed a snake! The snake hit the windshield of the vehicle while the passengers screamed and then laughed. The driver did not lose control of the vehicle.