8 Centuries-Old Etiquette Rules for Talking Politics

Three Lions/Getty Images
Three Lions/Getty Images

It can sometimes be easy to forget that a civilized political discourse is possible—especially around the holidays, when family members with vastly different viewpoints gather around one table. Doing your best to rise above the fray? Nineteenth century etiquette experts were full of (surprisingly) timeless pieces of advice for discussing issues with friends, colleagues, and family members. Keep this list handy this holiday season, and remember: Politics can get ugly, but the drawing room conversation doesn't have to.

1. EDUCATE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.

"It is very needful for one who desires to talk well, not only to be well acquainted with the current news, and modern and ancient literature of his language, but also with the historical events of the past and present of all countries. He must not have a confused idea of dates and history, but be able to give a clear account, not only of the chief events of the recent Rebellion, but also of those of the Revolutions of the past century, and of the period of the Roman Empire, its rise and fall, and of the various important events which have occurred in England, France, Italy, Germany, Switzerland, Turkey, and Russia."

From Daisy Eyebright’s A Manual of Etiquette With Hints on Politeness and Good Breeding, 1873

2. KNOW WHERE YOU STAND …

"Retain, if you will, a fixed political opinion, yet do not parade it upon all occasions, and, above all, do not endeavor to force others to agree with you. Listen calmly to their ideas upon the same subjects, and if you cannot agree, differ politely, and while your opponent may set you down as a bad politician, let him be obliged to admit that you are a gentleman."

From Cecil B. Hartley’s A Gentleman’s Guide to Etiquette, 1875

3. … BUT DON’T BE A KNOW-IT-ALL.

"Never, when advancing an opinion, assert positively that a thing 'is so,' but give your opinion as an opinion. Say, 'I think this is so,' or, 'these are my views,' but remember that your companion may be better informed upon the subject under discussion, or, where it is a mere matter of taste or feeling, do not expect that all the world will feel exactly as you do."

From Florence Hartley’s The Ladies’ Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness, 1860

4. ESPECIALLY NOT AT PARTIES.

"A man is sure to show his good or bad breeding the instant he opens his mouth to talk in company … The ground is common to all, and no one has a right to monopolize any part of it for his own particular opinions, in politics or religion. No one is there to make proselytes, but every one has been invited, to be agreeable and to please."

From Arthur Martine’s Martine’s Hand-Book of Etiquette and Guide to True Politeness, 1866

5. KNOW WHEN TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

"Whenever the lady or gentleman with whom you are discussing a point, whether of love, war, science or politics, begins to sophisticate, drop the subject instantly. Your adversary either wants the ability to maintain his opinion … or he wants the still more useful ability to yield the point with unaffected grace and good humor; or what is also possible, his vanity is in some way engaged in defending views on which he may probably have acted, so that to demolish his opinions is perhaps to reprove his conduct, and no well-bred man goes into society for the purpose of sermonizing."

From Martine’s Hand-Book of Etiquette and Guide to True Politeness

6. KEEP YOUR COOL, TOO.

"Even if convinced that your opponent is utterly wrong, yield gracefully, decline further discussion, or dexterously turn the conversation, but do not obstinately defend your own opinion until you become angry … Many there are who, giving their opinion, not as an opinion but as a law, will defend their position by such phrases, as: 'Well, if I were president or governor, I would,' — and while by the warmth of their argument they prove that they are utterly unable to govern their own temper, they will endeavor to persuade you that they are perfectly competent to take charge of the government of the nation."

From A Gentleman’s Guide to Etiquette

7. AND DEFINITELY DON'T TAKE SIDES.

"In a dispute, if you cannot reconcile the parties, withdraw from them. You will surely make one enemy, perhaps two, by taking either side, in an argument when the speakers have lost their temper."

From A Gentleman’s Guide to Etiquette

8. TRY NOT TO CRITICIZE POLITICIANS … IF THERE ARE POLITICIANS PRESENT.

"It is bad manners to satirize lawyers in the presence of lawyers, or doctors in the presence of one of that calling, and so of all the professions. Nor should you rail against bribery and corruption in the presence of politicians … or members of Congress, as they will have good reason to suppose that you are hinting at them."

From Martine’s Hand-Book of Etiquette and Guide to True Politeness

This piece originally ran in 2016.

Peppa Pig Used Sexist Language in a 2009 Episode, According to the London Fire Brigade

Entertainment One
Entertainment One

Peppa Pig is wildly popular in the UK and around the world, but not all the attention the British show has received has been positive. Episodes have been banned for teaching kids not to be afraid of spiders in Australia and promoting so-called "gangster attitudes" in China. Now, the London Fire Brigade is accusing the cartoon of being sexist, People reports.

The Peppa Pig episode that ignited the controversy—"The Fire Engine," which first aired in May 2009—features Peppa's mom joining the local fire station. In the clip below, she's shown dressed as a firefighter, but the London Fire Brigade didn't see this as a win for female representation. Because she's referred to as a "fireman"—and because the gender-specific term is used throughout the episode—the department wrote on Twitter that Peppa Pig could discourage young girls from wanting to become firefighters.

"We've not been firemen for 30 years," the London Fire Brigade tweeted. "You have a huge influence on kids & using out of date stereotypical gender specific wording prevents young girls from becoming firefighters."

But not everyone on Twitter agreed. Because the episode features an all-woman fire department, some users said Peppa Pig successfully combats gender stereotypes, even if it fails to use gender-neutral language.

Not all Peppa Pig controversies have gotten this heated. Early this year, news spread about something called the Peppa Effect, which happens when kids develop slight British accents after watching hours of the show. But instead of writing hate mail to the creators, many parents were delighted by the phenomenon.

[h/t People]

A Nubian Goat Named Lincoln Was Just Sworn in as the Mayor of Fair Haven, Vermont

iStock.com/Evgeniia Khmelnitskaia
iStock.com/Evgeniia Khmelnitskaia

Lincoln the goat may not be housebroken, but she had no problem winning the race for mayor of Fair Haven, Vermont. The new mayor was officially sworn in on Tuesday, March 12, and before signing the oath of office with her hoof print, she marked the occasion by defecating on the town hall floor, the Boston Globe reports.

Prior to getting into politics, Lincoln the droopy-eared Nubian goat lived a simple life. A local family looking for a way to maintain the unruly vegetation on their property had purchased her two years ago when she was 1 year old. At age 3, Lincoln transitioned from munching grass full-time to running for public office.

Though Lincoln's win is impressive, her election didn't involve beating any human candidates. Town Manager Joseph Gunter came up with the idea to hold an election for honorary pet mayor of Fair Haven as way to raise money for a new playground. For a $5 fee, local kids were allowed to nominate the pet of their choice to be town mayor. Lincoln bested more than a dozen candidates, including a gerbil named Crystal and a pacifier-sucking dog named Stella, for the position.

The stunt didn't raise much money—the town came away with just $100 for the playground—but it did earn Fair Haven international attention. In order to go down in history as world's longest-serving animal mayor, Lincoln has to stick around for a while; Stubbs the cat was mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska for 20 years.

[h/t Boston Globe]

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