12 More Punny Halloween Costumes

It's that time of year again. Prepare yourself for another round of people dressed as visual gags among the vampires and witches. The best pun costumes make people look at you, think for a moment, and then laugh. Here are some that might make you laugh right now!

1. ASSAULT AND BATTERY

When Above the Law held a costume contest for legally-themed Halloween costumes in 2010, they likely weren't surprised when they got submissions like a ninja warrior or Lady Justice with her scales—but they probably didn't anticipate two NYU students dressing up as a box of salt and a D battery. The pair won first place, based on votes from the site's readers. When asked to comment on his loss, the ninja lawyer could not be found.

2. GANDALF

When a cat-eating alien from Melmac meets the Lord of the Rings, you get GandALF. This ingenious costume was spotted at DragonCon this year.

3. ASH WEDNESDAY

Bahamet234 via Imgur

Combine main Pokémon hunter Ash Ketchum (as in "You've gotta 'Ketchum' all!") with Wednesday Addams from The Addams Family, and you get this amazingly dour costume. Bahamet234 shared this picture of her boyfriend’s punny Halloween look, probably telling him, "The world should get a good peek-at-you."

4. BLACK-EYED PEAS

 

Instagram user mad_irene and a friend got together to make themselves into Black-Eyed Peas for Halloween in 2014. Band, chain restaurant, or legume reference? You decide.

5. HAN SOLO CUP

 

Who poured the shot first? Our favorite smuggler from Star Wars gets the “before and after” treatment. Pamela Kemp Grabinski wore this costume to DragonCon in 2013. And here’s a guy who pulled off the same idea in 2015.

6. JON SNOW WHITE

mankardo via Imgur

This guy knows something about a good punny costume. Jon Snow White definitely has something to crow about. Redditor mankardo posted this picture of his sister’s co-worker dressed as both a Disney princess and the Game of Thrones hero for Halloween. A commenter took this one step further and gave us Jon Snow White Stripes by replacing the sword with a guitar in Photoshop. Things got out of hand with the suggestion of Jon Snow White Walker Texas Ranger, but if you can pull that look off, we might see you on next year's list.

7. THE SECOND AMENDMENT

 

Here's Instagram user Rebecca Jobe exercising her right to bear arms.

8. JACKIE O. LANTERN

 

Combine Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis's iconic ’60s hairdo and pillbox hat with a Halloween pumpkin, and you get Jackie O’Lantern. Very clever, and easier to pull off than Patty O’Furniture. Be the first lady at your party to try this look.

9. HOMER AND MARGE

DubbyDov via Imgur

This is what happens when you tell your husband he should dress like Homer, but don't explain you're dressing up as Marge. A Greek tragedy? More like a modern classic. All puns aside, the bubble wrap hair is a clever move.

10. ZOMBEE

Majorxerocom via Imgur

Zombies are everywhere on Halloween, so you need to up your zombie game if you want to stand out. Majorxerocom used his brains and created a lot of buzz at a costume contest by dressing as a Zombee. Be prepared to weather a hundred Blind Melon references if you recreate this costume, though.

11. CEREAL KILLER

 

What’s one of the scariest things in our spooky campfire tales? A cereal killer. A punny costume classic that still earns its fair share of laughs.

12. CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT

 

Instagram member rbooboo could have been a Halloween hit with just the cat costume, but she went for the deep cut, referencing the old adage purrfectly.

Why Do the Lions and Cowboys Always Play on Thanksgiving?

Elsa, Getty Images
Elsa, Getty Images

Every year since 1934, the Detroit Lions have taken the field for a Thanksgiving game, no matter how bad their record has been. It all goes back to when the Lions were still a fairly young franchise. The team was founded in 1929 in Portsmouth, Ohio, as the Spartans. Portsmouth, while surely a lovely town, wasn't quite big enough to support a pro team in the young NFL. Detroit radio station owner George A. Richards bought the Spartans and moved the team to Detroit in 1934.

Although Richards's new squad was a solid team, they were playing second fiddle in Detroit to the Hank Greenberg-led Tigers, who had gone 101-53 to win the 1934 American League Pennant. In the early weeks of the 1934 season, the biggest crowd the Lions could draw for a game was a relatively paltry 15,000. Desperate for a marketing trick to get Detroit excited about its fledgling football franchise, Richards hit on the idea of playing a game on Thanksgiving. Since Richards's WJR was one of the bigger radio stations in the country, he had considerable clout with his network and convinced NBC to broadcast a Thanksgiving game on 94 stations nationwide.

The move worked brilliantly. The undefeated Chicago Bears rolled into town as defending NFL champions, and since the Lions had only one loss, the winner of the first Thanksgiving game would take the NFL's Western Division. The Lions not only sold out their 26,000-seat stadium, they also had to turn fans away at the gate. Even though the juggernaut Bears won that game, the tradition took hold, and the Lions have been playing on Thanksgiving ever since.

This year, the Lions will host the Chicago Bears.

HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS?

The Cowboys, too, jumped on the opportunity to play on Thanksgiving as an extra little bump for their popularity. When the chance to take the field on Thanksgiving arose in 1966, it might not have been a huge benefit for the Cowboys. Sure, the Lions had filled their stadium for their Thanksgiving games, but that was no assurance that Texans would warm to holiday football so quickly.

Cowboys general manager Tex Schramm, though, was something of a marketing genius; among his other achievements was the creation of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders.

Schramm saw the Thanksgiving Day game as a great way to get the team some national publicity even as it struggled under young head coach Tom Landry. Schramm signed the Cowboys up for the game even though the NFL was worried that the fans might just not show up—the league guaranteed the team a certain gate revenue in case nobody bought tickets. But the fans showed up in droves, and the team broke its attendance record as 80,259 crammed into the Cotton Bowl. The Cowboys beat the Cleveland Browns 26-14 that day, and a second Thanksgiving pigskin tradition caught hold. Since 1966, the Cowboys have missed having Thanksgiving games only twice.

Dallas will take on the Washington Redskins on Thursday.

WHAT'S WITH THE NIGHT GAME?

In 2006, because six-plus hours of holiday football was not sufficient, the NFL added a third game to the Thanksgiving lineup. This game is not assigned to a specific franchise—this year, the New Orleans Saints will welcome the Atlanta Falcons.

Re-running this 2008 article a few days before the games is our Thanksgiving tradition.

Canned Pumpkin Isn’t Actually Pumpkin

iStock
iStock

We hate to squash your autumnal dreams, but baking a pumpkin pie might not be as easy as you think. That’s because the canned pumpkin that normally makes pie prep such a breeze isn’t made of pumpkin at all. Food & Wine reports that cans of pumpkin puree—even those that advertise "100 percent pumpkin"—are actually made of a range of different squashes.

Most pumpkin purees are a mix of winter squashes, including butternut squash, Golden Delicious, and Hubbard. Meanwhile, Libby’s, the largest pumpkin puree brand, has developed its own unique brand of squash called the Dickinson, which is more closely related to a butternut squash than a pumpkin. The FDA is vague about what counts as "pumpkin," which allows companies to pack unspecified squashes into their purees and still list pumpkin as the sole ingredient.

While it’s a little unsettling to find out your favorite pie is not what it seems, pumpkin puree brands have a good reason for their deception. While pumpkins are a quintessential part of autumn, they don’t actually taste that great. Most pumpkins are watery and a little bit stringy, and turning them into a puree takes more work, and involves less reward, than other, sweeter winter squashes.

[h/t Food & Wine]

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