9 Clever Products That Will Protect Your Lunch From Food Thieves

iStock.com/ilbusca
iStock.com/ilbusca

It’s happened to all of us: You’ve been thinking about lunch all morning and when it’s finally time to eat, you realize that your meal has been stolen by one of your co-workers. Food theft is no joke and should not be taken lightly. Keep your edibles safe from your thieving colleagues with these protective products.

1. Fred E.M.T. (Emergency Meal Transport) Insulated Lunch Tote


Fred, Amazon

No one is going to want to steal an organ—after all, those can’t be properly cooked in the break room microwave. The bag is foam-insulated to keep your kidney (or sandwich) cold. Great for anyone who doesn't work at a hospital.

Buy it on Amazon for $20 or at these other retailers:

2. Accoutrements Crime Scene Sandwich Bags

Plastic baggies with yellow "crime scene tape" printed on them

Accoutrements, Amazon

This set of 10 plastic baggies comes with either police tape or quarantined banners. If they don't succeed at thwarting thieves, you may to have to close off the kitchenette with real crime scene tape while you dust for prints.

Buy it on Amazon for $5 or at these other retailers:

3. Roach Bag Clips

A roach-shaped bag clip on a bag of snacks

Orwill, Amazon

If making your lunch look like a crime scene doesn’t work, try making it look infested. These bag clips are designed to look like everyone’s least favorite mealtime companion: the cockroach. Stick them on or in your snack bags to deter even the most strong-stomached lunch thieves.

Buy it on Amazon for $8 per pack of four.

4. Forum Novelties Moldy Sandwich Bags

A novelty sandwich bag designed to look like a piece of bread is moldy and cockroach-infested

Forum Novelties, Amazon

These bags take it a step further with fake mold and a cockroach. Even if it doesn’t trick anyone, it’s certain to ruin their appetite. There are only four bags per pack, so use them wisely—and be sure to check your food for real mold before use.

Buy it on Amazon for $5 or at these other retailers:

5. Fred Already Been Chewed Cookie Cutters

Gingerbread man cookies formed to look like they've had bites taken out of them
Fred

Make your sneaky co-worker believe that someone beat them to the punch by using these cookie cutters, which make it look like these tasty treats have already been snacked on. The three gingerbread man molds each have a bite mark shape aimed at different parts of their bodies. The package even comes a gingerbread recipe.

Buy it on eBay for $10.

6. It's Not Your Lunch Locking Lunch Bag

This black bag gets straight to the point: “It’s not your lunch.” If the harsh (but valid) statement isn’t enough to rattle your co-workers, the lock will do the trick. The 8-inch-tall bag is insulated to keep your meals at the right temperature, but the main attraction is the hunk of metal standing between food thieves and your delicious pre-bitten cookies.

Buy it on It's Not Your Store for $20 and up.

7. CaseOrama Stained Mug

A mug that appears stained with coffee and lipstick

CaseOrama, Amazon

No one wants to wash other people’s dishes, so this dirty mug will be strictly off limits to everyone but you. The design features what looks like spilled coffee and lipstick on the rim, so it appears to have been heavily used. Only you will know better. It’s dishwasher safe, so you can get it really clean, despite its appearance.

Buy it on Amazon for $19.

8. Cooluli Portable Mini Fridge

A mini portable fridge open to reveal apples, vegetables, and cans of soda

Cooluli, Amazon

If people won’t stop taking your stuff out of the fridge, it's time to get your own. This portable mini fridge, complete with removable shelves, is big enough to hold up to 12 cans of soda. It can be plugged into a regular outlet or even a car cigarette lighter (we did say portable) and runs more quietly than most computer fans, according to Amazon reviewers.

Buy it on Amazon for $90 or at these other retailers (potentially in different colors):

9. Fridge Safe Box Locker

A small locked cage designed to hold lunches in a fridge

5Star Super Deals, Walmart

If none of these other tricks work, you can get even more aggressive. Nothing says “stay away from my lunch” quite like a plastic food cage with a combination lock. The 12-inch-long locker comes with a handle so you can take it to and from work, and if, in the worst case scenario, your co-worker cracks the code and steals your yogurt, at least you'll know they've earned it.

Buy it at Walmart for $16.

A version of this article first ran in 2016.

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If March 15 Is the Ides of March, What Does That Make March 16?

iStock.com/bycostello
iStock.com/bycostello

Everyone knows that the soothsayer in William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar was talking about March 15 when he warned the Roman emperor to "beware the Ides of March." We also all know Caesar's response: "Nah, I gotta head into the office that day." But if March 15 is the Ides of March, what does that make March 16?

At the time of Caesar's assassination, Romans were using the Julian calendar (introduced by Julius Caesar himself). This was a modified version of the original Roman calendar, and it is very similar to the one we use today (which is called the Gregorian calendar). A major difference, however, was how Romans talked about the days.

Each month had three important dates: the Kalends (first day of the month), the Ides (the middle of the month), and the Nones (ninth day before the Ides, which corresponded with the first phase of the Moon). Instead of counting up (i.e., March 10, March 11, March 12), Romans kept track by counting backwards and inclusively from the Kalends, Ides, or Nones. March 10 was the sixth day before the Ides of March, March 11 was the fifth day before the Ides of March, and so on.

Because it came after the Ides, March 16 would’ve been referred to in the context of April: "The 17th day before the Kalends of April." The abbreviated form of this was a.d. XVII Kal. Apr., with "a.d." standing for ante diem, meaning roughly "the day before."

So, had Julius Caesar been murdered on March 16, the soothsayer's ominous warning would have been, "Beware the 17th day before the Kalends of April." Doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

This story first ran in 2016.

Show Houseguests Who's in Charge With This Game of Thrones Doormat

ThinkGeek
ThinkGeek

If you’re prone to houseguests who shed crumbs on your sofa and use all the toilet paper without replacing it, it might be time to demand a little respect. This Game of Thrones doormat from the merchants at ThinkGeek offers some guidance. Emblazoned on the mat is an order to “bend the knee” before entering your home.

A doormat from the HBO series 'Game of Thrones' is pictured
ThinkGeek

The 17-inch long by 29-inch wide mat arrives in time for the eighth and final season of the popular HBO series, which is set to debut April 14. Chronicling the lives of disparate characters vying for control of the Iron Throne, the show has often depicted Daenerys Targaryen, also known as the Mother of Dragons and played by Emilia Clarke, ordering subjects to “bend the knee” before addressing her. In season seven, King in the North Jon Snow famously refused to do so before eventually capitulating. Had she laid out the doormat, it’s possible he wouldn’t have taken as long.

The mat retails for $24.99 and can be purchased online here.

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