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Wild Theory Suggests Snow White is Actually a Lord of the Rings Sequel

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Mirror, mirror on the wall, what’s the most out-there Disney fan theory of them all? It just might be the one laid out by Andres Diplotti over at Cracked, which posits that Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs takes place in the same universe as—and is, in fact, a sequel to—J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings series.

As laid out by Diplotti, it's not just the fantasy-esque setting and the presence of dwarfs (or “dwarves,” if we’re talking The Lord of the Rings version) that the two classic tales have in common. Let’s start with the dwarfs: short, keep to themselves, obsessed with treasure. A pretty standard interpretation across the board. But, as Diplotti explains, Tolkien took many of the names of his dwarves from a centuries-old Norse epic called the “Voluspa,” which has a section devoted to dwarf names and their meanings. Durin? That’s “Sleepy,” thank you very much. Dwalin, or “Dvalinn” in the “Voluspa,” is torpid, lazy, or sleepy. Oin? That would be “shy,” a.k.a. “bashful.”

As Diplotti points out, it’s “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” not “Snow White and Seven Dwarfs Whom Snow White Happened to Meet.” Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, and the rest appear to be the only dwarfs in the Snow White universe, which doesn’t square with Tolkien’s dwarves being an entire race of people. But remember the rings of power: “Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-lords in halls of stone …” We know the One Ring affected Gollum profoundly even after he was no longer in possession of it, so why couldn’t the Dwarf-lords’ rings of power, even though they were eventually lost, have a) mentally warped their wearers into whistling goofballs and b) prolonged their lives to the point that they outlived the (near) extinction of their entire species?

If the dwarfs/dwarves connection is somewhat obvious, what Diplotti theorizes about Prince Charming is less so. He’s one of the Maia, a race of beings that includes Gandalf, Saruman, and Radagast. His wizardly powers came in handy when it was time to kill the Evil Witch with a lightning strike. (And you thought that was the standard Disney Villain Death.) Ditto when true love’s kiss brought Snow White back to life—“Either he enjoys kissing dead girls,” Diplotti writes, “or he knows that the kiss will break the spell.”

But it gets weirder.

Prince Charming isn’t just one of the Maia—he’s Gandalf himself, original name Olórin. And the Magic Mirror is Sauron—or, rather, a tiny sliver of Sauron that the Rings baddie squirreled away as a plan B in case the One Ring was destroyed. We know that Sauron’s MO is getting inside people’s heads and twisting their thoughts for his own gain, and that’s what he’s doing in Magic Mirror form: Engineering the destruction of Snow White, who, in this theory, is a descendant of Aragorn. Thus the presence of Gandalf, who heard about the rebirth of his archenemy and popped back in to take out the trash.

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iStock // Ekaterina Minaeva
Man Buys Two Metric Tons of LEGO Bricks; Sorts Them Via Machine Learning
May 21, 2017
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iStock // Ekaterina Minaeva

Jacques Mattheij made a small, but awesome, mistake. He went on eBay one evening and bid on a bunch of bulk LEGO brick auctions, then went to sleep. Upon waking, he discovered that he was the high bidder on many, and was now the proud owner of two tons of LEGO bricks. (This is about 4400 pounds.) He wrote, "[L]esson 1: if you win almost all bids you are bidding too high."

Mattheij had noticed that bulk, unsorted bricks sell for something like €10/kilogram, whereas sets are roughly €40/kg and rare parts go for up to €100/kg. Much of the value of the bricks is in their sorting. If he could reduce the entropy of these bins of unsorted bricks, he could make a tidy profit. While many people do this work by hand, the problem is enormous—just the kind of challenge for a computer. Mattheij writes:

There are 38000+ shapes and there are 100+ possible shades of color (you can roughly tell how old someone is by asking them what lego colors they remember from their youth).

In the following months, Mattheij built a proof-of-concept sorting system using, of course, LEGO. He broke the problem down into a series of sub-problems (including "feeding LEGO reliably from a hopper is surprisingly hard," one of those facts of nature that will stymie even the best system design). After tinkering with the prototype at length, he expanded the system to a surprisingly complex system of conveyer belts (powered by a home treadmill), various pieces of cabinetry, and "copious quantities of crazy glue."

Here's a video showing the current system running at low speed:

The key part of the system was running the bricks past a camera paired with a computer running a neural net-based image classifier. That allows the computer (when sufficiently trained on brick images) to recognize bricks and thus categorize them by color, shape, or other parameters. Remember that as bricks pass by, they can be in any orientation, can be dirty, can even be stuck to other pieces. So having a flexible software system is key to recognizing—in a fraction of a second—what a given brick is, in order to sort it out. When a match is found, a jet of compressed air pops the piece off the conveyer belt and into a waiting bin.

After much experimentation, Mattheij rewrote the software (several times in fact) to accomplish a variety of basic tasks. At its core, the system takes images from a webcam and feeds them to a neural network to do the classification. Of course, the neural net needs to be "trained" by showing it lots of images, and telling it what those images represent. Mattheij's breakthrough was allowing the machine to effectively train itself, with guidance: Running pieces through allows the system to take its own photos, make a guess, and build on that guess. As long as Mattheij corrects the incorrect guesses, he ends up with a decent (and self-reinforcing) corpus of training data. As the machine continues running, it can rack up more training, allowing it to recognize a broad variety of pieces on the fly.

Here's another video, focusing on how the pieces move on conveyer belts (running at slow speed so puny humans can follow). You can also see the air jets in action:

In an email interview, Mattheij told Mental Floss that the system currently sorts LEGO bricks into more than 50 categories. It can also be run in a color-sorting mode to bin the parts across 12 color groups. (Thus at present you'd likely do a two-pass sort on the bricks: once for shape, then a separate pass for color.) He continues to refine the system, with a focus on making its recognition abilities faster. At some point down the line, he plans to make the software portion open source. You're on your own as far as building conveyer belts, bins, and so forth.

Check out Mattheij's writeup in two parts for more information. It starts with an overview of the story, followed up with a deep dive on the software. He's also tweeting about the project (among other things). And if you look around a bit, you'll find bulk LEGO brick auctions online—it's definitely a thing!

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Nick Briggs/Comic Relief
What Happened to Jamie and Aurelia From Love Actually?
May 26, 2017
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Nick Briggs/Comic Relief

Fans of the romantic-comedy Love Actually recently got a bonus reunion in the form of Red Nose Day Actually, a short charity special that gave audiences a peek at where their favorite characters ended up almost 15 years later.

One of the most improbable pairings from the original film was between Jamie (Colin Firth) and Aurelia (Lúcia Moniz), who fell in love despite almost no shared vocabulary. Jamie is English, and Aurelia is Portuguese, and they know just enough of each other’s native tongues for Jamie to propose and Aurelia to accept.

A decade and a half on, they have both improved their knowledge of each other’s languages—if not perfectly, in Jamie’s case. But apparently, their love is much stronger than his grasp on Portuguese grammar, because they’ve got three bilingual kids and another on the way. (And still enjoy having important romantic moments in the car.)

In 2015, Love Actually script editor Emma Freud revealed via Twitter what happened between Karen and Harry (Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman, who passed away last year). Most of the other couples get happy endings in the short—even if Hugh Grant's character hasn't gotten any better at dancing.

[h/t TV Guide]