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Wild Theory Suggests Snow White is Actually a Lord of the Rings Sequel

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Mirror, mirror on the wall, what’s the most out-there Disney fan theory of them all? It just might be the one laid out by Andres Diplotti over at Cracked, which posits that Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs takes place in the same universe as—and is, in fact, a sequel to—J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings series.

As laid out by Diplotti, it's not just the fantasy-esque setting and the presence of dwarfs (or “dwarves,” if we’re talking The Lord of the Rings version) that the two classic tales have in common. Let’s start with the dwarfs: short, keep to themselves, obsessed with treasure. A pretty standard interpretation across the board. But, as Diplotti explains, Tolkien took many of the names of his dwarves from a centuries-old Norse epic called the “Voluspa,” which has a section devoted to dwarf names and their meanings. Durin? That’s “Sleepy,” thank you very much. Dwalin, or “Dvalinn” in the “Voluspa,” is torpid, lazy, or sleepy. Oin? That would be “shy,” a.k.a. “bashful.”

As Diplotti points out, it’s “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” not “Snow White and Seven Dwarfs Whom Snow White Happened to Meet.” Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, and the rest appear to be the only dwarfs in the Snow White universe, which doesn’t square with Tolkien’s dwarves being an entire race of people. But remember the rings of power: “Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-lords in halls of stone …” We know the One Ring affected Gollum profoundly even after he was no longer in possession of it, so why couldn’t the Dwarf-lords’ rings of power, even though they were eventually lost, have a) mentally warped their wearers into whistling goofballs and b) prolonged their lives to the point that they outlived the (near) extinction of their entire species?

If the dwarfs/dwarves connection is somewhat obvious, what Diplotti theorizes about Prince Charming is less so. He’s one of the Maia, a race of beings that includes Gandalf, Saruman, and Radagast. His wizardly powers came in handy when it was time to kill the Evil Witch with a lightning strike. (And you thought that was the standard Disney Villain Death.) Ditto when true love’s kiss brought Snow White back to life—“Either he enjoys kissing dead girls,” Diplotti writes, “or he knows that the kiss will break the spell.”

But it gets weirder.

Prince Charming isn’t just one of the Maia—he’s Gandalf himself, original name Olórin. And the Magic Mirror is Sauron—or, rather, a tiny sliver of Sauron that the Rings baddie squirreled away as a plan B in case the One Ring was destroyed. We know that Sauron’s MO is getting inside people’s heads and twisting their thoughts for his own gain, and that’s what he’s doing in Magic Mirror form: Engineering the destruction of Snow White, who, in this theory, is a descendant of Aragorn. Thus the presence of Gandalf, who heard about the rebirth of his archenemy and popped back in to take out the trash.

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Everything That’s Leaving Netflix in October
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NBC - © 2012 NBCUniversal Media, LLC

Netflix subscribers are already counting down the days until the premiere of the new season of Stranger Things. But, as always, in order to make room for the near-90 new titles making their way to the streaming site, some of your favorite titles—including all of 30 Rock, The Wonder Years, and Malcolm in the Middle—must go. Here’s everything that’s leaving Netflix in October ... binge ‘em while you can!

October 1

30 Rock (Seasons 1-7)

A Love in Times of Selfies

Across the Universe

Barton Fink

Bella

Big Daddy

Carousel

Cradle 2 the Grave

Crafting a Nation

Curious George: A Halloween Boo Fest

Daddy’s Little Girls

Dark Was the Night

David Attenborough’s Rise of the Animals: Triumph of the Vertebrates (Season 1)

Day of the Kamikaze

Death Beach

Dowry Law

Dr. Dolittle: Tail to the Chief

Friday Night Lights (Seasons 1-5)

Happy Feet

Heaven Knows, Mr. Allison

Hellboy

Kagemusha

Laura

Love Actually

Malcolm in the Middle (Seasons 1-7)

Max Dugan Returns

Millennium 

Million Dollar Baby

Mortal Combat

Mr. 3000

Mulholland Dr.

My Father the Hero

My Name Is Earl (Seasons 1-4)

One Tree Hill (Seasons 1-9)

Patton

Picture This

Prison Break (Seasons 1-4)

The Bernie Mac Show (Seasons 1-5)

The Shining

The Wonder Years (Seasons 1-6)

Titanic

October 19

The Cleveland Show (Seasons 1-4)

October 21

Bones (Seasons 5-11)

October 27

Lie to Me (Seasons 2-3)

Louie (Seasons 1-5)

Hot Transylvania 2

October 29

Family Guy (Seasons 9-14)

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Every New Movie, TV Series, and Special Coming to Netflix in October
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While October means self-curated horror movie marathons for many people, the biggest thing happening on Netflix just might be the return of Stranger Things. But that's not happening until October 27, and there’s a lot more happening outside the city lines of Hawkins, Indiana on the behemoth streaming network this month (like the premiere of David Fincher's Mindhunters and the return of Schitt's Creek). Here’s every new movie, television series, comedy special, and documentary making its way to Netflix in October.   

October 1

88 Minutes

A Cinderella Story: Once Upon a Song

Before Midnight

Blood Diamond

Boogie Nights

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Cleverman: Season 2

Death Sentence

Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood

Eagle vs. Shark

Eyes Wide Shut

Generation Iron 2

Ghost Patrol

I Love You, Man

Ice Guardians

Lockup: Disturbing the Peace (Collection 1)

Made of Honor

Miss Congeniality

Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous

Must Love Dogs

Never Let Me Go

No Reservations

Penelope

PJ Masks (Season 1)

Set Up

The Reaping

Tokyo Idols

Tommy Boy

Vanished

Veronica

October 2

Mr. Dynamite: The Rise of James Brown

Sleeping with Other People

October 3

13 Demons

Rodney Carrington: Here Comes The Truth

Cult of Chucky

The Survivalist

October 4

Raw

October 5

Bonus Family (Bonusfamiljen) (Season 1)

Schitt’s Creek (Season 3)

The Fosters (Season 5)

October 6

ID-0 (Season 1)

Skylanders Academy (Season 2)

Suburra (Season 1)

The Death and Life of Marsha P. Johnson

Word Party (Season 3) 

October 7

Chris Brown: Welcome To My Life

Middle Man

October 10

Christina P: Mother Inferior

The Skyjacker’s Tale

October 11

Donnie Darko

October 12

Fe de Etarras

October 13

El Especial de Alex Fernández

Kingdom of Us

Mindhunter (Season 1)

Super Monsters (Season 1)

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

The Babysitter

The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)

Voltron: Legendary Defender (Season 4)

October 15

Belief: The Possession of Janet Moses

Lego: City (Season 1)

Money

OtherLife

She Makes Comics

West Coast Customs (Season 6)

October 17

Patton Oswalt: Annihilation

Slasher: Guilty Party

October 19

Wedding Unplanned

October 20

1922

Haters Back Off (Season 2)

One of Us

Smurfs: The Lost Village

The Day I Met El Chapo: The Kate del Castillo Story

Wheelman

October 23

Meet the Robinsons

While We’re Young

October 24

Wanted (Season 1-2)

The Mist (Season 1)

October 25

The Hateful Eight

The Final Master

La Querida del Centauro (Season 2)

October 26

Strange Weather

October 27

Stranger Things 2

Joan Didion: The Center Will Not Hold

October 28

Pup Star: Better 2Gether

October 30

Judah Friedlander: America Is The Greatest Country In The United States

October 31

Zumbo’s Just Desserts (Season 1) 

 

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