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Wild Theory Suggests Snow White is Actually a Lord of the Rings Sequel

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Mirror, mirror on the wall, what’s the most out-there Disney fan theory of them all? It just might be the one laid out by Andres Diplotti over at Cracked, which posits that Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs takes place in the same universe as—and is, in fact, a sequel to—J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings series.

As laid out by Diplotti, it's not just the fantasy-esque setting and the presence of dwarfs (or “dwarves,” if we’re talking The Lord of the Rings version) that the two classic tales have in common. Let’s start with the dwarfs: short, keep to themselves, obsessed with treasure. A pretty standard interpretation across the board. But, as Diplotti explains, Tolkien took many of the names of his dwarves from a centuries-old Norse epic called the “Voluspa,” which has a section devoted to dwarf names and their meanings. Durin? That’s “Sleepy,” thank you very much. Dwalin, or “Dvalinn” in the “Voluspa,” is torpid, lazy, or sleepy. Oin? That would be “shy,” a.k.a. “bashful.”

As Diplotti points out, it’s “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” not “Snow White and Seven Dwarfs Whom Snow White Happened to Meet.” Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, and the rest appear to be the only dwarfs in the Snow White universe, which doesn’t square with Tolkien’s dwarves being an entire race of people. But remember the rings of power: “Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-lords in halls of stone …” We know the One Ring affected Gollum profoundly even after he was no longer in possession of it, so why couldn’t the Dwarf-lords’ rings of power, even though they were eventually lost, have a) mentally warped their wearers into whistling goofballs and b) prolonged their lives to the point that they outlived the (near) extinction of their entire species?

If the dwarfs/dwarves connection is somewhat obvious, what Diplotti theorizes about Prince Charming is less so. He’s one of the Maia, a race of beings that includes Gandalf, Saruman, and Radagast. His wizardly powers came in handy when it was time to kill the Evil Witch with a lightning strike. (And you thought that was the standard Disney Villain Death.) Ditto when true love’s kiss brought Snow White back to life—“Either he enjoys kissing dead girls,” Diplotti writes, “or he knows that the kiss will break the spell.”

But it gets weirder.

Prince Charming isn’t just one of the Maia—he’s Gandalf himself, original name Olórin. And the Magic Mirror is Sauron—or, rather, a tiny sliver of Sauron that the Rings baddie squirreled away as a plan B in case the One Ring was destroyed. We know that Sauron’s MO is getting inside people’s heads and twisting their thoughts for his own gain, and that’s what he’s doing in Magic Mirror form: Engineering the destruction of Snow White, who, in this theory, is a descendant of Aragorn. Thus the presence of Gandalf, who heard about the rebirth of his archenemy and popped back in to take out the trash.

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4 Fascinating Facts About John Wayne
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Fox Photos, Getty Images

Most people know John Wayne, who would have been 111 years old today, for his cowboy persona. But there was much more to the Duke than that famous swagger. Here are a few facts about Duke that might surprise you.

1. A BODY SURFING ACCIDENT CHANGED HIS CAREER. 

John Wayne, surfer? Yep—and if he hadn’t spent a lot of time doing it, he may never have become the legend he did. Like many USC students, Wayne (then known as Marion Morrison) spent a good deal of his extracurricular time in the ocean. After he sustained a serious shoulder injury while bodysurfing, Morrison lost his place on the football team. He also lost the football scholarship that had landed him a spot at USC in the first place. Unable to pay his fraternity for room and board, Morrison quit school and, with the help of his former football coach, found a job as the prop guy at Fox Studios in 1927. It didn’t take long for someone to realize that Morrison belonged in front of a camera; he had his first leading role in The Big Trail in 1930.

2. HE TOOK HIS NICKNAME FROM HIS BELOVED FAMILY POOCH. 

Marion Morrison had never been fond of his feminine-sounding name. He was often given a hard time about it growing up, so to combat that, he gave himself a nickname: Duke. It was his dog’s name. Morrison was so fond of his family’s Airedale Terrier when he was younger that the family took to calling the dog “Big Duke” and Marion “Little Duke,” which he quite liked. But when he was starting his Hollywood career, movie execs decided that “Duke Morrison” sounded like a stuntman, not a leading man. The head of Fox Studios was a fan of Revolutionary War General Anthony Wayne, so Morrison’s new surname was quickly settled. After testing out various first names for compatibility, the group decided that “John” had a nice symmetry to it, and so John Wayne was born. Still, the man himself always preferred his original nickname. “The guy you see on the screen isn’t really me,” he once said. “I’m Duke Morrison, and I never was and never will be a film personality like John Wayne.”

3. HE WAS A CHESS FANATIC. 

Anyone who knew John Wayne personally knew what an avid chess player he was. He often brought a miniature board with him so he could play between scenes on set.

When Wayne accompanied his third wife, Pilar Pallete, while she played in amateur tennis tournaments, officials would stock a trailer with booze and a chess set for him. The star would hang a sign outside of the trailer that said, “Do you want to play chess with John Wayne?” and then happily spend the day drinking and trouncing his fans—for Wayne wasn’t just a fan of chess, he was good at chess. It’s said that Jimmy Grant, Wayne’s favorite screenwriter, played chess with the Duke for more than 20 years without ever winning a single match.

Other famous chess partners included Marlene Dietrich, Rock Hudson, and Robert Mitchum. During their match, Mitchum reportedly caught him cheating. Wayne's reply: "I was wondering when you were going to say something. Set 'em up, we'll play again."

4. HE COINED THE TERM "THE BIG C."

If you say you know someone battling “The Big C” these days, everyone immediately knows what you’re referring to. But no one called it that before Wayne came up with the term, evidently trying to make it less scary. Worried that Hollywood would stop hiring him if they knew how sick he was with lung cancer in the early 1960s, Wayne called a press conference in his living room shortly after an operation that removed a rib and half of one lung. “They told me to withhold my cancer operation from the public because it would hurt my image,” he told reporters. “Isn’t there a good image in John Wayne beating cancer? Sure, I licked the Big C.”

Wayne's daughter, Aissa Wayne, later said that the 1964 press conference was the one and only time she heard her father call it “cancer,” even when he developed cancer again, this time in his stomach, 15 years later. Sadly, Wayne lost his second battle with the Big C and died on June 11, 1979 at the age of 72.

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Move Over, Star Wars Land: A Star Trek World May Be Coming to Universal Studios
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As Disney gears up for the 2019 openings of Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge at both its Florida and California amusement parks, there may be some sci-fi-themed competition on the horizon. According to Disney and More, there’s a rumor out there that Universal is planning a fourth Orlando theme park, which will include a land dedicated to all things Star Trek.

The blog also states that there have been rumblings that a Star Trek stage show at Universal would take the place of the now-defunct Terminator 2 3D show, but that’s just one option, with a Bourne Identity attraction being the other. Instead, the potential Star Trek show could be expanded to a whole area of the rumored fourth park, with a focus on a recreation of a sci-fi city, according to the site.

This rumored park would be the most high-profile Trek attraction since Las Vegas's Star Trek: The Experience (as seen in the main image). Housed at the Las Vegas Hilton from 1998 to 2008, Star Trek: The Experience included a restaurant based on Quark's bar from Deep Space Nine and the popular Borg Invasion 4D, which was an attraction that combined motion platforms, live actors, and a short 3D film to simulate a Borg takeover.

Any potential Star Trek land would be much further off than Galaxy's Edge's fall 2019 debut in Orlando. But with two new Trek movies on the horizon, and Star Trek: Discovery returning to CBS All Access for a second season in 2018, the venerable sci-fi franchise might just be able to ride a wave of momentum to become real competition for Star Wars—if not at the box office, then at least as a theme park.

[h/t Screen Rant]

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