15 Unexpected Action Figures You Can Buy

Amazon
Amazon

When most people think of action figures, superheroes and army soldiers come to mind. But isn’t that a little limiting? After all, Benjamin Franklin harnessed the power of lightning and we’re pretty sure Hillary Clinton has a mean right hook. Here are some action figures you might not have expected—but totally want now that you know about them. (Since these toys are geared toward adults and likely have swallowable parts, they're not recommended for children.)

1. HILLARY CLINTON; $15

Now you can re-enact all the fun of the campaign trail with this Hillary Clinton action figure. The 6-inch figure comes with posable limbs perfect for striking presidential poses and giving impassioned speeches. The presidential hopeful is dressed in a signature Clinton pantsuit and sensible heels.

Find it: Amazon

2. DONALD TRUMP; $38

On the other side of the election, we have Donald Trump. While we couldn’t find an action figure based on his current political persona, there is this relic from his time as a reality star. The toy speaks and has 17 different quotes from the television show The Apprentice. Now you can fire all your other toys and build a ritzy golf course in your bedroom.

Find it: Amazon

3. EDGAR ALLAN POE; $12

Recreate famous stories like The Fall of the House of Usher or The Tell-Tale Heart with this Edgar Allan Poe action figure. The hard vinyl figure is perfect for all your macabre misadventures. The set comes with a tiny raven to whisper in Poe's ear.

Find it: Amazon

4. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE; $10

Writing sonnets has never been so exciting as with the help of this William Shakespeare action figure. He even comes with a plastic quill and book.

Find it: Amazon

5. JANE AUSTEN; $11

This Jane Austen action figure comes with a book and quill to help her write commentary about the high society in your toy box.

Find it: Amazon

6. RON BURGUNDY; $31

Relive all the best parts of Anchorman with this Ron Burgundy figure. The 13-inch toy has 12 different sayings from the movie and comes with a pair of aviator sunglasses, a glass of scotch on the rocks, and a dumbbell. You can also change Burgundy into a robe and loafers for relaxing at home with his many leather-bound books. Strangely, when you take off the sunglasses, you can look through the back of the figure’s head and see out of Burgundy’s eyes.

Find it: Amazon

7. VLADIMIR PUTIN (ON A BEAR); $65

Putin is known for his love of outdoor sports and riding animals shirtless, so it’s no surprise that his action figure would choose a bear as his steed. You can make Putin ride the bear into action—whether it be to hunt in the woods or intimidate foreign government officials.

Find it: Amazon

8. ALBERT EINSTEIN; $35

The German physicist might not seem like a superhero at first glance, but when you consider the breakthrough discoveries he made in his lifetime, it’s no wonder he’s been immortalized as a posable action figure. Use his movable arms to write elaborate calculations on blackboards and push back his luxurious, wispy locks.

Find it: Amazon

9. VINCENT VAN GOGH; $14

This van Gogh action figure comes with an easel and art box, and the figure holds a palette and paintbrush. The set has an amazing amount of detail: The easel actually opens and closes and holds a tiny version of a van Gogh painting (Harvest Landscape with Blue Cart).

Find it: Amazon

10. MOSES; $11

Have a biblically good time with this fun Moses action figure, complete with the Ten Commandments. The rest of your toy box is sure to stay in line when the rules are clearly displayed on those two tiny plastic tablets.

Find it: Amazon

11. PULP FICTION; $30

If you’re looking for a little more profanity with your toys, consider one of these Pulp Fiction action figures that spew all sorts of explicit quotes from the movie. You can pick from Vincent, Jules, or Jimmie. Vincent comes with a gun and has 12 different colorful sayings. Jules has a gun, briefcase, gold bracelet, and a “bad motherf*****” wallet; it speaks 11 phrases. Jimmie has a cup and slippers and says seven different things.

Find it: ThinkGeek

12. SNOOP DOGG; $40

This action figure is a full foot tall and ready to go on all sorts of adventures with you. With 34 points of articulation, you can pose the rapper in almost any position you’d like. Since it’s no longer in production, the supply is limited—get one while you still can.

Find it: Snoopermarket

13. ELVIS PRESLEY; $50

Serenade your other toys with this Elvis action figure. The glittering gold suit is certain to impress even your snooty G.I. Joe. Mattel has a huge line of Elvis toys and Barbie brand also makes a variety of Elvis dolls.

Find it: Amazon

14. POPE JOHN PAUL II; $34

Now you can bless your toy box with this Pope action figure. The toy has a historically accurate outfit and has 22 sayings spoken in the Pope’s actual voice.

Find it: Amazon

15. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN; $34

Relive one of Benjamin Franklin’s most famous experiments with this action figure complete with kite. Since this toy is made with hard vinyl, it probably won’t attract any lightning, but it’s possible Franklin never really performed this trick to begin with.

Find it: Amazon

Get Paid to Write Dirty Jokes for Cards Against Humanity

tom_bullock, Wikimedia Commons // CC BY 2.0

If you've exhausted every possible joke combination in Cards Against Humanity, the makers of the game have a new outlet for your wit. Apply to be a contributing writer and you could get paid to write the gross, bizarre, and occasionally offensive cards that go into new editions of the game.

For the uninitiated, here's how Cards Against Humanity works: A player draws a black card, which has a sentence with a section missing from it, and puts it down for the group to see. The rest of the players then put down white cards with words or phrases that could potentially fill in the blank. The player who comes up with the best joke wins the round.

In order for the jokes to be funny, the cards themselves need to be well written. That's where the contributing writers come in. As the job posting explains, the new writers will make $40 an hour "writing poop jokes as needed." The position is remote and part-time.

To see if you're a good fit for the gig, Cards Against Humanity is asking that you submit ideas for 15 white cards and five black cards that best exhibit your humor and writing skills. They've even included a handy primer on "how to write cards that don't blow" for applicants who are unsure of where to start. "A good black card allows players to subvert an expected tone or logic," the guidelines explain, while white cards should have "distinct voice, perspective, or syntax." The page also includes general guidelines on structure and the Cards Against Humanity style.

To apply, submit your ideas through the website before August 31. And if you're looking for some offbeat inspiration, this 19th-century version of the game should kickstart your creativity.

Nearly $100,000 in Instant Ramen Was Stolen in Georgia Noodle Heist

iStock
iStock

It's not easy to steal a small fortune when your target is instant ramen, but a team of thieves in Georgia managed to do just that a few weeks back. As The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports, the criminals made off with a trailer containing nearly $100,000 worth of noodles, and the local police force is still working to track down the perpetrators.

The heist occurred outside a Chevron gas station in Fayetteville, Georgia some time between July 25 and August 1, 2018. The 53-foot trailer parked in the area contained a large shipment of ramen, which the truck's driver estimates was worth about $98,000. Depending on the brand, that means the convenience food bandits stole anywhere between 200,000 and 500,000 noodle packs.

Some outlets have connected the truck-jacking to a recent string of vehicle-related robberies, but the Fayette County Sheriff's Office told the AJC such reports are inaccurate. Any potential suspects in the case have yet to be revealed.

The outlaws join the list of thieves who have stolen food items in bulk. Some of the most ambitious food heists in the past have centered on 11,000 pounds of Nutella, $75,000 worth of soup, and 6000 cheesecakes.

[h/t The Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

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