11 Secrets of Former Blockbuster Employees

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Getty Images

For nearly three decades, Blockbuster was the friendly neighborhood video store for movie-lovers around the United States—and its employees were our friendly neighborhood movie gurus. Though a few independent Blockbuster franchises are still bravely soldiering on around the country, the company had its heyday in the 1990s to mid-2000s, when video tapes and DVDs were still the dominant way to watch a movie. Doling out recommendations and patiently dealing with our late fee complaints, Blockbuster employees were a crucial part of our movie-watching experience, and frontline observers of the changes in our movie consumption. Mental_floss talked to a handful of former Blockbuster employees about what it was like to work at the video rental franchise from the company's heyday through its decline.

1. THEY RENTED MOVIES FOR FREE.

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Working at Blockbuster had plenty of perks if you were a movie lover. Employees not only received five free rentals a week, but got to watch new releases a week before they became available for rental. Matt, who worked at a Blockbuster in southeast Michigan from 2004 to 2009, explains that the free rental policy was really a win-win for Blockbuster and its employees. “This was actually a necessity because you’d have movie buffs and store regulars come in and ask for recommendations,” he explains. “It was a good way to catch up on movies I missed or had never heard of. I definitely dug up some oddball gems this way.”

2. THEY HATED IT WHEN YOU COMPLAINED ABOUT LATE FEES ...

Over the years, Blockbuster experimented with a range of policies regarding late fees. For a while, the store tried a “no late fees” policy, which, according to former employees, replaced late fees with a confusing “re-stocking fee.” Regardless of policy, employees say dealing with late fees was among the most annoying parts of the job.

“People proved to be astoundingly bad at math, and though they’d agree on how long they kept the movies they had and how much each of them cost for the night, they were just unable to comprehend how they owed us the amount they did,” explains Lex, who worked at Blockbuster in Scranton, Pennsylvania, from 2012 to 2013. “Dealing with people trying to get out of what they owed was basically how we interfaced with 40% of our customers on a daily basis.”

Brie, who worked at a Blockbuster in Salt Lake City from 2007 to 2008, during its “no late fees” era, explains that customers would always fight her on the store’s $1.25 restocking fee. “I would say 95% of the customers would fight me on paying them 100% of the time,” she says. “Customers would argue, ‘What is this restocking fee if not a late fee?’ You’re totally right, I know, it’s a loophole to get around saying it’s a late fee. I didn’t make it up, please don’t fight me on it.”

3. ... BUT THEY'D TRY TO HELP YOU OUT IF YOU WERE POLITE.

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When it came to getting out of late fees, there was really only one strategy that worked: Be nice. “Once I hit Shift Lead status, I would make deals with customers and try to waive a fee or two here or there if customers were regulars or particularly nice,” says Brie .

“We were able to minimize some late fees, eliminate others,” says Tim, who worked at a Blockbuster in East Greenwich, Rhode Island, from 2004 to 2007. “Come in calm and respectful and apologetic, poof, you owe $0.00. Come in hooting and hollering and it’s ‘I’m sorry, sir. There’s nothing I can do. You cannot rent another movie until you pay your $3.75.’”

4. THEY KEPT SECRET NOTES ON CUSTOMERS.

If you ever caught an employee giving you a strange look or holding back a laugh when you tried to rent, there’s a chance there was a note left on your account. Blockbuster used point of sale software that let employees look up your account information, and leave little warnings for each other if you habitually tried to worm your way out of late fees or misbehaved.

“People would constantly complain about late fees, so we had a system where you could write a note in the computer, like ‘Forgave one late fee, don’t do it again,’ or ‘This guy constantly turns in tapes late and says he paid his fees,’” says Mike , who worked at Blockbuster in Malden, Massachusetts, from 1999 to 2003. “Depending on who wrote the note, it could be very professional or sometimes it would just be like, ‘This lady is crazy.’ It would be flashing in yellow and you’d be keeping one eye on the customer, and one eye on the screen, trying to read it, and sometimes trying to keep a straight face.”

5. THEY COULD SEE YOUR ENTIRE RENTAL HISTORY.

If you rented anything embarrassing, you can bet your local Blockbuster employee noticed. “When customers brought up tapes, you’d see their previous rentals automatically,” explains Mike . “So, you’d see like, a thirteen-year-old girl renting Titanic for the twentieth time. You wouldn’t say anything, though.”

6. THEFT WAS A BIG ISSUE.

Customers were constantly finding creative new ways to steal merchandise. Matt remembered the “slashers” who would “show up with a boxcutter hidden on them and sneak around the store, slitting the spines on DVD cases and stealing discs,” while Lex recalled a guy who figured out how to remove the magnetic locking strips from DVD cases. “He’d always steal the weirdest, most arbitrary movies,” she explains. “He’d steal sequels of things and not the originals, or individual discs of TV show season collections. I don’t know if he was just trying to tear down the system slowly from the inside, or if he just had very specific interests.”

Mike, meanwhile, says the most notorious criminal to terrorize his Blockbuster location turned out to be a 10-year-old boy. “We had the full security system at Blockbuster—video cameras, security gates, magnetic locks on the cases—but somebody kept stealing video games. Our manager was totally baffled. He started to think it was an inside job,” says Mike. “It turned out it was a little ten-year-old kid. His mom found all the video games under his bed and turned him in. She brought the games back and we promised not to press charges, but the mom wanted us to scare the kid straight, like Maury Povich-style. So the manager and I ended up in the back room with this little ten-year-old kid who’s crying his eyes out. We had no idea what to do. It’s like, there’s our master thief who’s outwitting our corporate security system, and he’s just a kid.”

7. CORPORATE LOGIC WAS A BIT OF A MYSTERY.

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The employees at individual Blockbuster locations didn’t get to choose which products they ordered to rent or sell. Everything was decided by corporate headquarters, whose logic could sometimes be difficult to discern. Back in the early 2000s, that often meant receiving hundreds of copies of new releases to rent, which stores would later struggle to sell off, or receiving books and magazines that customers never even noticed were there.

Gladiator was the biggest movie that came out while I was at Blockbuster. We had so many copies, just walls and walls of Gladiator. Then, later on, we couldn’t sell them. We had like 200 copies left and nobody wanted them,” recalls Mike. “We’d also sell video game guides and magazines, and they would never sell. At the end of the month, we’d rip the cover off and throw them away. Sometimes instead of tossing them, I’d take them home—to this day, I have so many books without covers.”

8. THINGS REALLY STARTED TO UNRAVEL TOWARD THE END.

By 2012 or so, when the chain was really struggling to stay afloat, Blockbuster locations would often receive seemingly random shipments of movies to sell off, says Lex. They’d set up large tables around the store covered in DVDs for sale. “It was a completely random assortment of stuff,” recalls Lex. “We’d have, like, 50 copies of some mediocre 5-year-old romantic comedy, and then two copies of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (and none of the rest of the series), and then 12 copies of some obscure art-house film. There was no curation.”

“The most bizarre thing,” he concludes, “is that we had 135 copies of Dinner For Schmucks. I made it its own table. On the Black Friday I was there, we had a ‘door busters’ sale, with select, new DVDs for $5 a piece. We got 24 DVDs to sell—not 24 titles, 24 individual DVDs. Of those 24 DVDs, six were Dinner For Schmucks. The 135 copies were already selling for $3 apiece. We didn’t have much of a Black Friday rush that year.”

9. THE SWITCH FROM VHS TO DVD WAS PURE CHAOS.

Long before Blockbuster lost its showdown with streaming video, the company was faced with another seismic technological shift: the transition from VHS to DVD. According to Ben, who worked at a Blockbuster in central Pennsylvania from 2001 to 2002, the company struggled to get rid of its excess VHS tapes once the medium became obsolete. "We pulled them by the hundreds and put them on sale," he recalls. "After a few weeks, we started pulling them for destruction. It was kind of a shame, but it was fun at the same time. We just smashed the hell out of them behind the counter. I was washing through an ankle-deep layer of black plastic and magnetic tape … Later destroy pulls were authorized to instead send to local charities, but that first big one was fun.”

10. BEING A MOVIE BUFF WASN'T A JOB REQUIREMENT ...

You didn’t have to be a cinephile to work at Blockbuster. Most managers were more interested in hiring people who were reliable and punctual than employees who could recite the entire filmography of their favorite director. “You didn’t need to love movies at all,” recalls Mike. “You just had to get there on time.”

11. ... BUT MANY EMPLOYEES REALLY LOVED MOVIES.

Nevertheless, many Blockbuster employees really did love movies. “My interview basically amounted to them making sure I was a human that could read,” says Lex. “But everyone I worked there with was pretty big into games, movies, and TV, and we spent a lot of time talking about them.”

11 Secrets of Butterball's Turkey Talk-Line Operators

Butterball
Butterball

Butterball’s Turkey Talk-Line started small. Their first holiday season in 1981, a team of six home economists answered 11,000 turkey-related questions from cooks across America. Things have grown a great deal since then: More than 50 phone operators now work out of the Butterball office in Naperville, Illinois—about a 30-minute drive from Chicago—and they answer 10,000 calls on Thanksgiving day alone. That’s not to mention all the texts, emails, and instant chat messages they also handle.

We spoke to three talk-line operators to find out what it takes to become a turkey expert and why they give up their own holidays to help others avoid disastrous dinners.

1. THEY NEED AT LEAST A FOUR-YEAR DEGREE IN A FOOD-RELATED FIELD.

The talk-line operators don’t call themselves “experts” for nothing. To be considered for the job, they need to have completed at least four years of a food-related program. Turkey talk-line supervisors Janice Stahl and Carol Miller both have degrees in home economics. Nicole Johnson, a talk-line coordinator, has degrees in nutrition dietetics and public health. There are also lots of registered dieticians on staff, and some of the other employees have worked as chefs or food stylists.

2. CONNECTIONS HELP WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING HIRED.

Positions on the talk-line are never formally advertised—only by word of mouth—so it helps to know someone who works there. Stahl says she found out about the job from her mother-in-law, who worked as a talk-line operator for more than 10 years. “It kind of takes a little bit of a connection to get in,” she says. “It’s a hot little commodity job.” In a similar vein, Miller found out about the job from a neighbor, and Johnson learned about it from a former teacher.

3. THE OPERATORS HAVE STAYING POWER.

Once someone does land a job, they tend to stick around a while. Many of Butterball's turkey experts have worked at the talk-line for over 10 years. "It's not a job where people really leave," Stahl told Patch in 2015. "We may hire one person a year."

4. NEW TRAINEES HAVE TO COMPLETE “BUTTERBALL UNIVERSITY.”

"Then and now" photos of Butterball's kitchen
Butterball

During their first three years on the talk-line, all Butterball “freshmen” have to complete a one-day training seminar, dubbed Butterball University, at the start of each season. They’re assigned a specific method of turkey preparation, and spend the day cooking in the Butterball office kitchen. Butterball U attendees have tested out every possible appliance, from deep fryers to charcoal grills to sous vides.

“At the end of the day we’re looking at 10 or 12 turkeys that have been cooked in all these different methods,” Miller says. “Then we compare the appearance of the turkey, we compare time, we compare the juices that are in the bottom of the pan—Is there a lot of juice? Is it brown juice?” That way, “when the phones start ringing or the texts come in, you have actually visualized it," she says.

All of the experts also have to complete “advanced training” each year, which covers Butterball’s products and provides a refresher course on how to operate the phone and computer systems. (The computers are used to keep a record of the type of questions received, which are sometimes discussed in future training sessions.) New this year is a system that allows callers to hang up and have an operator call them back, instead of being put on hold. The wait can be short or long, depending on how many callers they have that day, and how chatty they are. "Sometimes the call will vary from 30 or 45 seconds to 30 to 45 minutes," Johnson says.

5. THEY HEAR ALL KINDS OF CONFESSIONS.

Because the talk-line operators are so sweet, affable, and non-judgmental, many callers feel comfortable telling them all kinds of personal details. “We are kind of like a confession hotline,” Stahl says. “We’ll get the husband on one line and the wife on the other because there’s been a dispute about what temperature the oven should be.”

One year, a new bride called into the hotline in a panic. She was nervous about cooking for her in-laws and couldn’t tell whether the turkey was done. They could barely hear her whispering into the phone, and when they asked her why she was speaking so softly, she replied, “I’m in the hallway closet.”

Another time, a man wanted to propose to his girlfriend by placing a ring inside the turkey, then cooking it. Miller, who took that call, advised him against it. "At the time I was worried about food safety and the romantic moment! Crunching down on a diamond—either big or small—could have been a problem for the bride or whoever found the ring," she explains. “I convinced him it would be just as dramatic if he took the ring, got a piece of ribbon, and tied it on a drumstick and then brought the turkey into the gathering and proposed that way.” This happened in the mid-’80s, and Miller still wonders what happened to them, and whether the woman said yes. “By now they could have kids and grandkids, and I can just imagine grandpa telling that story.”

6. THEY SHARE THEIR TURKEY MISTAKES WITH CALLERS.

Two talk-line hosts are shown answering calls at their desks in 1988
Butterball

Some of the talk-line operators have had a few turkey mishaps of their own, and they'll share these personal stories with callers to let them know they’re not alone. “We’re all human. Everybody knows somebody that’s left that little treasure bag in the wishbone cavity of the turkey,” Miller says.

One time, Miller had an extra-large turkey but didn’t have a suitable pan to hold it, so she used a cookie sheet instead. “That was not a good idea because I spent I don’t know how much time bailing [the juices] out of the cookie sheet so that it wouldn’t go out and over the pan and into the oven,” she says. Another time, she “burned the heck out of a turkey” on a charcoal grill.

Stahl has a similar story. Once, after moving into a new home, she bought a turkey before checking to see if the oven worked. It didn’t, as she discovered on Thanksgiving day. So they ordered pizza instead.

7. THEIR CALLERS TRY TO THAW TURKEYS IN SOME PRETTY STRANGE PLACES.

Pools, bathtubs, dishwashers, jacuzzis—all have been used in attempts to thaw turkeys. One dad was bathing his twin kids and decided to put the turkey in the tub with them. Another family was having a large reunion at a hotel, and plopped 10 turkeys into the bathtub to thaw. “Picture the maid coming in and seeing that,” Miller says.

Turkeys have also been stored in some creative places when freezer space is lacking. Operators have heard from callers who left their turkeys in the trunk, only to discover that the weather warmed up the next day and ruined them. In states where it starts snowing in November, it’s not unusual for people to leave their turkeys outside in a snowbank. One year, someone did this and called into the hotline because they wanted to know how to find it. “The Midwest stories are the best,” Stahl says.

8. THEY CAN TELL YOU HOW TO MICROWAVE A TURKEY.

Butterball’s talk-line operators are trained in all methods of turkey preparation, including microwaves. After all, things go wrong and ovens stop functioning, so they need to be capable of guiding callers through the next-best-case scenario. In 2005, they got tons of calls from people living in FEMA trailers after Hurricane Katrina destroyed their homes. The shelters had microwaves but no ovens, and they wanted to know whether they could still cook a proper Thanksgiving meal.

“You can do it, but it’s gotta be about 12 pounds or less,” Stahl says. “You can even stuff it, stick it in the microwave, and we can walk you through all the steps. It works and it actually tastes really good. You wouldn’t know the difference.” The presentation, however, isn’t as nice as a turkey cooked in an oven. “It’s not pretty when it comes out of the microwave. That’s the only thing,” Stahl says.

9. THEY GET ASKED TURKEY-RELATED QUESTIONS EVEN WHEN THEY'RE OFF-DUTY.

While many of the turkey experts proudly wear a jacket with Butterball’s Talk-Line logo on the left side, they also know the risks. Namely, if they’re going to be leaving the house while wearing it, they should ensure they have plenty of time to talk turkey. “If you ask everybody in [Butterball’s office] on Thanksgiving day if they’ve ever been stopped somewhere out of the house with their Butterball jacket on and asked a question, I’m sure they all would say yes,” Miller says. She’s been stopped at the library, at soccer games, at Home Depot, and at the grocery store, so she always has to be on top of her game.

Stahl says she was at the grocery store when “some lady came after me in aisle three.” The woman didn’t know how to cook a turkey or even which aisle carried them, so Stahl sat down with her at a coffee shop inside the store and explained how it’s done—from start to finish. She didn’t mind helping, but conceded, “A grocery store is never where you want to wear a Butterball coat.”

10. THEY UNSUCCESSFULLY PETITIONED FOR A THANKSGIVING TURKEY EMOJI.

Butterball’s turkey experts launched a change.org petition last year to get Unicode, the leading authority on emojis, to introduce a cooked turkey icon. When responding to questions by text, the turkey experts sometimes throw in an emoji to make it more friendly and festive. However, they weren’t satisfied with the live turkey emoji because, as Butterball’s longest-standing talk-line operator Marge Klindera explained in a promotional video, “If your turkey looked like this, even we can’t help you.” Unfortunately, support was somewhat lacking—they got a little over 7500 signatures—and they never received their Thanksgiving emoji. “I think it might take a couple years to get the emoji,” Johnson says.

11. THEY DELAY THEIR OWN THANKSGIVING TO HELP YOU "HOST LIKE A BOSS."

Butterball’s turkey experts are scheduled to work from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Thanksgiving day (and from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Christmas Eve), which means they have no choice but to delay their own holiday celebrations. When it’s time for lunch, they order soup to help soothe their throats, since their voices are often hoarse by the end of the day. They don’t seem to mind one bit, though.

“All of us love to do this, and the really funny thing that people are kind of surprised to hear is that we actually all love to be there on Thanksgiving day because that’s the day when people need the most help,” Stahl says. “Those are the panicked calls that come in, like ‘I have a frozen turkey and it’s Thanksgiving morning. What am I going to do?’”

The rewarding nature of the job and the countless human connections they’ve formed are why so many talk-line operators keep coming back year after year. Johnson says the job is “exhausting in one way, but you still feel really good” for having helped save people from “turkey trauma.” So if you have a burning question about your forthcoming turkey feast, go ahead and give them a ring at 1-800-BUTTERBALL. They’d be happy to help.

16 Secrets of School Portrait Photographers

iStock.com/HKPNC
iStock.com/HKPNC

One by one, they form a little conveyor belt—throngs of students lining up to sit in a chair, look into a camera lens, and smile. For millions of kids, picture day is a way to memorialize their appearance in a given year, although later the out-of-fashion clothes or cosmetic growing pains may be a way to memorialize pure awkwardness. For the photographers tasked with the job, however, picture day means corralling hundreds of children and establishing a comfort level without any time to waste.

“We get about 30 seconds per kid,” Kristin Boyer, a photographer in Atlanta, Georgia, who has been taking school portrait photos for eight years, tells Mental Floss. “And it’s amazing how much impact you can have. You want to make them feel like a million bucks—beautiful, awesome, and smart.”

To get a better sense of what goes into the job, we asked Boyer and two other school photographers to divulge some of the more interesting aspects of wrangling kids for posterity. Read on for some insight into uncooperative subjects, why mornings make for the the best shots, and the importance of booger patrol.

1. SCHOOLS GET A CUT OF THEIR FEE.

While deals can vary by school, photographers typically get paid when parents order photos. The school then takes a percentage of that fee.

To select a professional, schools will often take bids. "I make a presentation," Boyer says. "I'll explain what I do. Sometimes schools are looking for certain things." Boyer takes more dynamic shots with ambitious outdoor backgrounds; some larger schools herding 1500 or more kids, she says, may want to opt for a simple portrait to expedite the process.

As for what schools do with their portion of the revenue, it depends on the school. But many usually sink it back into student programs.

2. PARENTS TAKE PICTURE DAY VERY SERIOUSLY.

A child poses for a school photo
iStock.com/HKPNC

“Parents are very passionate about their kids getting good school photos,” Courtney, a photographer based in Canada, tells Mental Floss. They might send along a note with their kid describing what they didn’t like about the previous year’s photo. “When I started, I didn’t expect the level of hostility with parents when a photo doesn’t go the way they want it to.”

Boyer has sometimes had parents ask to stand behind her while she shoots so they can take their own pictures. “I usually say no cell phone photos. If they take theirs, they won’t buy mine.”

3. THEY TRY TO TAKE PICTURES BEFORE LUNCHTIME.

For younger kids, mornings are better. After lunch, photographers are likely to need the help of photo-editing software. “One of my first-graders got spaghetti on them,” Boyer says. “You don’t want to let them start to get markers or food all over.” Boyer’s most unusual Photoshop request? “I edited out a cookie once. The kid would not sit down unless he had a cookie.”

4. KIDS ARE SOMETIMES TERRIFIED OF THEM.

A little girl in a yearbook portrait photo
iStock.com/HKPNC

Portrait photographers typically work across a spectrum of ages, from kindergarteners to high school seniors. If a child is very young, it’s possible the entire idea of sitting for a portrait will scare them silly. “You always get one or two that are just terrified,” Grant, a portrait photographer who works on pre-K to 12th grade, tells Mental Floss. “I’m a big, beefy dude, and sometimes a kid will get in there and see me and go, ‘Oh, I’m not doing this.’” To placate the pensive pupils, Grant makes a big show of leaving by stomping his feet, then lets one of his less-threatening assistants take the pictures.

5. YOUNGER KIDS TAKE EVERYTHING LITERALLY.

Photographers need to be careful when giving instructions to kindergarteners and first graders, who tend to process things with little nuance. “Sometimes I’ll ask a kid to high-five me and I'll act like it hurts,” Grant says. “I’ll ask for a Band-Aid. Sometimes they’ll look very serious and say, ‘I don’t have one.’” Another time, Grant asked a kid to point his knees toward a nearby computer. “He came over and touched his knee to the laptop.”

6. SOME KIDS INSIST ON HAVING PROPS.

A student poses for a school photo with an electronic keyboard
iStock.com/RyanJLane

A lot of photographers are switching up the conventional portrait by snapping pictures of kids outdoors, in "action" poses like jumping, or against more eclectic backgrounds. Kids are getting more creative, too. Like prop comedians, they will sometimes arrive for picture day armed with accessories. “I’ve seen everything from Halloween costumes to dogs and other pets,” Courtney, says. “Or they want to wear hats or sunglasses.” If it’s within reason and OK with the school, she’ll take one traditional photo and then let the subject pose with their prop for the second.

7. SELFIES HAVE MADE THEIR JOB HARDER.

Posing for a professional portrait can be a strange experience for a kid who has spent considerable time on a cell phone. “Kids have gotten much more comfortable in front of the camera, but it’s bad selfie behavior,” Boyer says. “Doing duck lips, thrusting their arms out to make their shoulders straight. You kind of have to re-train them.” Boyer lets them know it doesn't look good, but "I say it in a nice way."

8. “ORANGE CHIN” IS A PROBLEM.

A child poses for a school photo
iStock.com/imagedepotpro

Sometimes, fashion can betray kids. “Fluorescent green and orange tops seem popular now and light tends to bounce off of it and on the chin,” Grant says. “The bottom of the chin tends to turn orange.” Unless they happen to have an extra shirt or request a photo retouch, they’re stuck with it.

9. THERE'S A REASON THEY ASK KIDS TO TILT THEIR HEAD.

Aside from some unfortunate fashion choices, one staple of school photos is the head tilt, with kids cocking their faces off to one side. According to a school photographer on Reddit, there's a good reason for that. "These photos are going to be used for the yearbook (more than likely) and everyone should have somewhat of the same head pose," they explain. "The way we stage our lights does not flatter the subject when they're looking straight at the camera. If you tilt your head you're more likely to also move your chin in that same direction, which makes for a more interesting highlight/shadow play and also has the added benefit of making the face look smaller (if you're a little overweight)."

10. THEY USE A SYSTEM TO TRACK EACH KID.

A child poses for a school photo
iStock.com/HKPNC

With hundreds of students at a given school, photographers need a reliable system of identifying kids and making sure their names match up to their portfolio. While systems vary, one of the most common is to collect school data and then print a unique ticket with a student’s name, grade, homeroom, and a number. “Those have a barcode,” Grant says. “So they come up, we scan the ticket, and pull up their record. It’s like scanning soup at a grocery store.”

It’s also error-free, unless some senior decides to trade tickets with a friend so their names get mixed up on their school identification cards. “They don’t seem to think it out, though, because the homeroom teachers pass the cards out and will notice the picture isn’t of them.”

11. THEY HAVE SOME SILLY STRATEGIES FOR MAKING A KID SMILE.

Photographers have less than a minute to relax a kid enough so they deliver a broad, genuine smile. To facilitate that, Grant says he keeps a laundry list of groaners at his disposal to provoke a laugh. “It’s like a script tree that a telemarketer would use,” he says. “If a kid says they play soccer, I’ll say, ‘Oh, so you like kicking people?’”

Photographers also rely on another age-old technique: embarrassment. “In grades four to six, if you ask girls to say ‘boys’ and boys to say ‘girls,’ it’s so scandalous,” Grant says. “For a second shot, you ask them to say, ‘cute boys’ or ‘cute girls.’ That typically works.” Grant can also provoke smiles by asking about pet names. Elementary kids react to being asked to say, “trick or treat, smell my feet.” If they remain stubborn, Grant will pull out all the stops and request they say “stinky feet.”

12. SOMEONE NEEDS TO BE ON BOOGER PATROL.

A child picks his nose
iStock.com/RichVintage

While photo-editing software can address rogue snot, no one really wants to spend the extra minutes digitally erasing boogers from photos. Boyer typically enlists volunteer parents to make sure faces are wiped clean or has assistants armed with tissues, combs, and other grooming products to make for a stylish and snot-free image. “We usually try to catch things like that before they get in front of the camera,” she says.

13. SOMETIMES THEY REGRET ASKING QUESTIONS.

To build rapport, photographers are always looking to get kids to talk about themselves. Once, one of Grant’s assistants asked if a child had any pets. “Yes,” the kid responded. “Rabbits. But we ate them last night.”

14. KIDS LIKE TO MESS WITH THEM ...

The older kids get, the more they tend to commit acts of subversion. “One kid came in with his jacket on, took it off, sat down, and was ready to go,” Grant says. “I knew something was going on. I looked at his shirt and it said ‘Student of the Month.’ Except he put masking tape over the ‘ent’ so it read ‘Stud of the Month.’” (After consulting with the principal, the kid was allowed to keep it on for the photo.)

Courtney had a kid sit down with what looked like a nice shirt with birds on it. “It was actually middle fingers,” she says.

15. ... AND SOME KIDS ARE JUST A PAIN.

While most kids are cooperative, Grant will sometimes see subjects who want to make their life as difficult as possible. "Seniors tend to fool around more and be difficult on purpose," he says. "Some of them are just perpetually in a bad mood or feel self-conscious." Sports teammates might egg each other on to not crack a smile. One school photographer who works for Lifetouch writes on Reddit that there are one or two "problem kids" per class: "You just have to remember they're just doing it for attention because they aren't getting it somewhere else."

16. ACCORDING TO THEM, THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A BAD SCHOOL PICTURE.

A student poses for a school photo
iStock.com/RyanJLane

The internet is overflowing with awkward and embarrassing school photos, from unfortunate backgrounds to unfortunate hairstyles. But according to Grant, “bad school photo” is a misnomer that gives photographers a bad rap. “There’s a common idea school pictures are bad,” he says. “No. School pictures are like shooting fish in a barrel. Is a kid going to smile? Is a kid going to lean into it? Or is it going to be bad no matter what I do? If you think the picture is bad, well, no, that’s you. The picture was fine. The bad haircut wasn’t.”

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