19 Behind-the-Scenes Secrets of IKEA Employees

Stephen Chernin/Getty Images
Stephen Chernin/Getty Images

Chances are good you have a piece of IKEA furniture in your home. Perhaps you’re even sitting on an IKEA couch, reading at an IKEA desk, or lying in an IKEA bed right now. The Swedish company is the world’s largest furniture retailer, selling billions of dollars worth of goods each year, from BILLY bookcases to GLIMMA tealights. Its massive blue-and-yellow stores are kept well-stocked and running smoothly thanks to the efforts of more than 194,000 employees (or as IKEA calls them, “coworkers”) across the globe. We spoke with a few of them about what it’s like to work for one of the world’s most recognizable retail stores.

1. THE IKEA PATHWAY HAS A CODE NAME.

It’s no secret IKEA’s maze-like showrooms are designed to take shoppers through every department, from the kitchen to the textiles, making sure they lay eyes on as many goods as possible. "One could describe it as if IKEA grabs you by the hand and consciously guides you through the store in order to make you buy as much as possible," Johan Stenebo, an IKEA veteran, wrote in his book, The Truth About IKEA.

The winding walkway is known lovingly among employees as the “Long Natural Path” or the “Long Natural Way.” According to a 2011 New Yorker article by Lauren Collins, the pathway is supposed to curve every 50 feet to prevent shoppers from getting bored.

2. THERE ARE SECRET SHORTCUTS ...

Need to get to bedding but don’t want to walk through textiles, bathroom, and living room first? Stuck on the top floor but need a quick way to ground level? Take a shortcut.

There are multiple quick routes through the store, both for safety reasons and stocking reasons, and they’re open to the public. But they’re not advertised, so you’ll need a keen eye for secret passageways. Often they take the form of unmarked service doors.

“If you know where to look, you’ll find them,” says Paula, who worked at an IKEA store in Houston for a year. At her store, there was a shortcut route that started with an unmarked door near the escalators. “Nobody’s going to stop you unless it explicitly says ‘employees only,’ but other than that you can open doors and you’d be amazed,” she says.

“I love IKEA, but sometimes you just need to get in and out in like 20 minutes,” says Marie, who worked at IKEA for 11 years. If that’s the case, just ask an employee to give you the quickest route to your destination and they’ll point you to the nearest shortcut.

3. ... BUT DON’T GET TOO USED TO THEM.

“They’re always changing,” says Paul Robertson, who worked for 10 years at IKEA Canada. “They used to change them fairly frequently because we had a lot of repeat business, so customers would get familiar with the shortcuts and know how to zip through. After a while they would change the shortcuts to force people to go around the long way again.”

4. THE WALLS MOVE.

Shoppers look at merchandise at a Ikea store in Paramus, New Jersey
Stephen Chernin/Getty Images

According to Paula, the partitions that enclose IKEA’s various showrooms are on rollers and can be moved. “They have a lock on them so people can’t randomly move them,” Paula says. “At the end of the night we move all the walls out of the way so we have a straight shot to where the trash is.” This also makes it easier to remodel the display rooms.

5. CUSTOMERS SOMETIMES BUY ENTIRE ROOMS.

Speaking of the display rooms, occasionally customers will decide they like an entire room so much, they’ll order it as-is. “There have been people that come in and see a room and like everything there and they take it,” Paula says.

6. THERE'S AN “OPEN THE WALLET” SECTION.

Customers at a check-out line in IKEA
NOAH SEELAM/AFP/Getty Images

IKEA stores are littered with piles of small, practical items that are so cheap they’re hard to pass up. These areas are called the “Open The Wallet” sections. “There, an abundance of cheap goods—flowerpots, slippers, lint rollers—encourages the customer to make a purchase, any purchase, the thinking being that IKEA shoppers buy either nothing or a lot,” Collins writes.

According to Rob, a two-year IKEA veteran, this area was located at the bottom of the stairs on the second floor at his store. “It’s basically impulse buys,” he says. “It’s a lot of very cheap items, things that look practical, useful, something you didn’t realize you wanted.” The next thing you know you’re shoving five packs of tea candles and a bunch of plastic hangers into your yellow shopping bag, when all you really came in for was a desk lamp.

7. THERE'S A REASON THEY PILE THOSE BINS SO HIGH.

Another method for getting people to add things to their bags is known internally as the “bulla bulla” technique. Big bins are stuffed to the point of overflowing with hundreds of items “to create the impression of volume and, therefore, inexpensiveness,” according to Collins.

“One of the big things is the sort of jumbo bin, they love that,” says Robertson. “If stock starts running low there, fill it back up. Pile it high. Customers think they’re getting a deal.”

8. YES, YOU CAN NAP ON THE FURNITURE ...

People nap at an IKEA store in China
Kevin Frayer/Getty Images

The displays are meant to be touched, tested, and experienced. If you want to curl up on an IKEA couch or sprawl out on the bed, go for it. “You are allowed to sit on the beds,” says Paula, “but if you’ve been there for two or three hours, we have to wake you up.”

This is a particularly well-documented phenomenon in China, where shoppers have been photographed snoozing all over the showroom. “We don’t see it as a problem,” IKEA spokesman Josefin Thorell told the Wall Street Journal. “We’re happy people feel at home in our stores. Certainly, it entails a little extra work for the staff, purely practically. But on the other hand, if customers try out our furniture and like it, we can sell an extra mattress or two.”

9. ... BUT YOU PROBABLY DON’T WANT TO.

According to Jana, an IKEA employee in Texas, the pillows on the display beds get swapped out once a month at her store, and the pillowcases only get changed when they are visibly dirty. The same goes for blankets and duvet covers. “I changed a bunch of duvet covers yesterday because from people touching the same corner every day, it looked dingy,” she says. “If we see something and think it looks gross, it needs to be changed.”

10. THEY WISH YOU’D STOP OPENING THINGS.

Customers inspect goods at an IKEA
NOAH SEELAM/AFP/Getty Images

“Customers will open anything and everything,” says Jana. “Everything in that store, we have on display. You can touch it, feel it, lay your face on it, but for some reason they’ll open the package and then leave it there. What they don’t understand is when they open certain things, we can’t resell them, so we have to scan them out.”

11. THEY’RE TRAINED NOT TO OFFER HELP.

If you’re the passive-aggressive type of shopper, you’re bound to be disappointed at IKEA. Employees are given specific instructions to let the customers come to them if they need assistance. “You were supposed to only help customers if they asked you for it,” says Rob. “We were told that’s a very Scandinavian way of how stores work.” The same rule applies in the warehouse, where customers are expected to find and lift their own items unless it’s obvious they need assistance.

12. THE BOOKS IN THE SHOWROOM OFTEN COME FROM EMPLOYEES’ OWN LIBRARIES.

IKEA’s sample rooms often feature towering bookshelves, but empty shelves aren’t particularly inviting. So, employees are asked to bring books from their own collection to fill the blank space. “All of that was stuff we owned,” Rob says. Usually they were asked to bring books that matched a certain color scheme. And you couldn’t bring in anything racy. “You had to use your common sense,” Rob says. “Nothing pornographic or anything.”

13. THE MOST POPULAR ITEMS ARE …

The BILLY bookcase and the LACK table. The POÄNG chair, MALM bed, KALLAX shelving units, RENS sheepskin rug, and EKTORP sofa are some of the other top picks.

14. THE SERIAL NUMBERS CAN TELL YOU A LOT.

According to Robertson, there’s some rhyme and reason to the eight-digit code linked to each IKEA item. “While I was there, it was that the last two numbers would tell you what color the item was. So let’s say it ended in 40, it was blue. That would mean the 4 range was blue, so 41 might be light blue and 42 would be dark blue.”

Many of the names have meaning, too. According to Collins, “traditionally, the names of IKEA’s bookcases derive from different occupations; curtains are given names from mathematics; and bathroom products are named for lakes and rivers.”

15. THEY WITNESS A LOT OF ARGUMENTS.

“If you really wanna test your relationship, go through IKEA and buy something,” says Jana. “I guess they just get stressed and overwhelmed that the store’s so big. I had a couple trying to make a decision on a rug and he was mad and she was on verge of tears. Then we were out of the rug they wanted, which made it even worse.”

Lovers' quarrels are so common in the store that at least one psychologist told the Wall Street Journal she has her bickering clients construct the NORNÄS coffee table as a relationship-building exercise. Janice Simonsen, design spokeswoman for IKEA U.S., also told the paper she spent five years as a furnishings consultant and created a list of guidelines specifically for couples planning a trip to the store.

16. THEY SPEAK IN CODE.

People look at chairs in a South Korean IKEA
JUNG YEON-JE/AFP/Getty Images

When “Code 22” comes over the intercom, it’s a distress call from the cash lanes. “We usually hear it around rush hour or on weekends,” says Jana. “It means the cash lanes are backed up into the warehouse. Anyone in the store who is register-trained has to go to the front and help.”

If a lost kid is wandering the store (which happens a lot), Jana says managers use “Code 99” to put all employees on alert. “There are so many wardrobes to hide in or bed skirts to hide under,” says Marie. “If a kid really wanted to be hidden it would not be too hard.”

17. THINGS GET WILD AFTER HOURS.

“At the end of night, they’d open all the walls and we’d have a big empty space and there would be pallet jack races,” Paula recalls.

And there’s perhaps no better place to play hide-and-seek than in a massive, multiple-story maze stuffed with nooks and crannies. “On closing shifts, one guy I worked with would always manage to have me distracted, then he’d go hide in the store,” says Robertson. “So I would have to finish up tasks, walk through the store knowing somewhere along the way he would jump out at me, and he got me all the time.”

18. THEY GET GREAT CHRISTMAS GIFTS.

IKEA is known for having good employee perks, including its end-of-year gifts, which range from electronics to plane tickets. “The first year I worked there they gave out bikes,” says Rob. “This year they gave out Rokus.” Paula says her store gave employees who had been specially recognized by their coworkers the chance to win plane tickets to anywhere in the world.

19. PINTEREST DRIVES SALES.

Employees can tell when an item has been featured in a viral Pinterest project because it sells out quickly. “There was one specific spice rack we were constantly sold out of,” says Paula. “Someone had gone on Pinterest and said you can paint it and make it a bookshelf for picture books for toddlers. We had to tell people, ‘If you’re here for the spice rack, we don’t have it.’” (For reference, it’s called the BEKVÄM spice rack.)

A version of this story first ran in 2016.

11 Secrets of Butterball's Turkey Talk-Line Operators

Butterball
Butterball

Butterball’s Turkey Talk-Line started small. Their first holiday season in 1981, a team of six home economists answered 11,000 turkey-related questions from cooks across America. Things have grown a great deal since then: More than 50 phone operators now work out of the Butterball office in Naperville, Illinois—about a 30-minute drive from Chicago—and they answer 10,000 calls on Thanksgiving day alone. That’s not to mention all the texts, emails, and instant chat messages they also handle.

We spoke to three talk-line operators to find out what it takes to become a turkey expert and why they give up their own holidays to help others avoid disastrous dinners.

1. THEY NEED AT LEAST A FOUR-YEAR DEGREE IN A FOOD-RELATED FIELD.

The talk-line operators don’t call themselves “experts” for nothing. To be considered for the job, they need to have completed at least four years of a food-related program. Turkey talk-line supervisors Janice Stahl and Carol Miller both have degrees in home economics. Nicole Johnson, a talk-line coordinator, has degrees in nutrition dietetics and public health. There are also lots of registered dieticians on staff, and some of the other employees have worked as chefs or food stylists.

2. CONNECTIONS HELP WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING HIRED.

Positions on the talk-line are never formally advertised—only by word of mouth—so it helps to know someone who works there. Stahl says she found out about the job from her mother-in-law, who worked as a talk-line operator for more than 10 years. “It kind of takes a little bit of a connection to get in,” she says. “It’s a hot little commodity job.” In a similar vein, Miller found out about the job from a neighbor, and Johnson learned about it from a former teacher.

3. THE OPERATORS HAVE STAYING POWER.

Once someone does land a job, they tend to stick around a while. Many of Butterball's turkey experts have worked at the talk-line for over 10 years. "It's not a job where people really leave," Stahl told Patch in 2015. "We may hire one person a year."

4. NEW TRAINEES HAVE TO COMPLETE “BUTTERBALL UNIVERSITY.”

"Then and now" photos of Butterball's kitchen
Butterball

During their first three years on the talk-line, all Butterball “freshmen” have to complete a one-day training seminar, dubbed Butterball University, at the start of each season. They’re assigned a specific method of turkey preparation, and spend the day cooking in the Butterball office kitchen. Butterball U attendees have tested out every possible appliance, from deep fryers to charcoal grills to sous vides.

“At the end of the day we’re looking at 10 or 12 turkeys that have been cooked in all these different methods,” Miller says. “Then we compare the appearance of the turkey, we compare time, we compare the juices that are in the bottom of the pan—Is there a lot of juice? Is it brown juice?” That way, “when the phones start ringing or the texts come in, you have actually visualized it," she says.

All of the experts also have to complete “advanced training” each year, which covers Butterball’s products and provides a refresher course on how to operate the phone and computer systems. (The computers are used to keep a record of the type of questions received, which are sometimes discussed in future training sessions.) New this year is a system that allows callers to hang up and have an operator call them back, instead of being put on hold. The wait can be short or long, depending on how many callers they have that day, and how chatty they are. "Sometimes the call will vary from 30 or 45 seconds to 30 to 45 minutes," Johnson says.

5. THEY HEAR ALL KINDS OF CONFESSIONS.

Because the talk-line operators are so sweet, affable, and non-judgmental, many callers feel comfortable telling them all kinds of personal details. “We are kind of like a confession hotline,” Stahl says. “We’ll get the husband on one line and the wife on the other because there’s been a dispute about what temperature the oven should be.”

One year, a new bride called into the hotline in a panic. She was nervous about cooking for her in-laws and couldn’t tell whether the turkey was done. They could barely hear her whispering into the phone, and when they asked her why she was speaking so softly, she replied, “I’m in the hallway closet.”

Another time, a man wanted to propose to his girlfriend by placing a ring inside the turkey, then cooking it. Miller, who took that call, advised him against it. "At the time I was worried about food safety and the romantic moment! Crunching down on a diamond—either big or small—could have been a problem for the bride or whoever found the ring," she explains. “I convinced him it would be just as dramatic if he took the ring, got a piece of ribbon, and tied it on a drumstick and then brought the turkey into the gathering and proposed that way.” This happened in the mid-’80s, and Miller still wonders what happened to them, and whether the woman said yes. “By now they could have kids and grandkids, and I can just imagine grandpa telling that story.”

6. THEY SHARE THEIR TURKEY MISTAKES WITH CALLERS.

Two talk-line hosts are shown answering calls at their desks in 1988
Butterball

Some of the talk-line operators have had a few turkey mishaps of their own, and they'll share these personal stories with callers to let them know they’re not alone. “We’re all human. Everybody knows somebody that’s left that little treasure bag in the wishbone cavity of the turkey,” Miller says.

One time, Miller had an extra-large turkey but didn’t have a suitable pan to hold it, so she used a cookie sheet instead. “That was not a good idea because I spent I don’t know how much time bailing [the juices] out of the cookie sheet so that it wouldn’t go out and over the pan and into the oven,” she says. Another time, she “burned the heck out of a turkey” on a charcoal grill.

Stahl has a similar story. Once, after moving into a new home, she bought a turkey before checking to see if the oven worked. It didn’t, as she discovered on Thanksgiving day. So they ordered pizza instead.

7. THEIR CALLERS TRY TO THAW TURKEYS IN SOME PRETTY STRANGE PLACES.

Pools, bathtubs, dishwashers, jacuzzis—all have been used in attempts to thaw turkeys. One dad was bathing his twin kids and decided to put the turkey in the tub with them. Another family was having a large reunion at a hotel, and plopped 10 turkeys into the bathtub to thaw. “Picture the maid coming in and seeing that,” Miller says.

Turkeys have also been stored in some creative places when freezer space is lacking. Operators have heard from callers who left their turkeys in the trunk, only to discover that the weather warmed up the next day and ruined them. In states where it starts snowing in November, it’s not unusual for people to leave their turkeys outside in a snowbank. One year, someone did this and called into the hotline because they wanted to know how to find it. “The Midwest stories are the best,” Stahl says.

8. THEY CAN TELL YOU HOW TO MICROWAVE A TURKEY.

Butterball’s talk-line operators are trained in all methods of turkey preparation, including microwaves. After all, things go wrong and ovens stop functioning, so they need to be capable of guiding callers through the next-best-case scenario. In 2005, they got tons of calls from people living in FEMA trailers after Hurricane Katrina destroyed their homes. The shelters had microwaves but no ovens, and they wanted to know whether they could still cook a proper Thanksgiving meal.

“You can do it, but it’s gotta be about 12 pounds or less,” Stahl says. “You can even stuff it, stick it in the microwave, and we can walk you through all the steps. It works and it actually tastes really good. You wouldn’t know the difference.” The presentation, however, isn’t as nice as a turkey cooked in an oven. “It’s not pretty when it comes out of the microwave. That’s the only thing,” Stahl says.

9. THEY GET ASKED TURKEY-RELATED QUESTIONS EVEN WHEN THEY'RE OFF-DUTY.

While many of the turkey experts proudly wear a jacket with Butterball’s Talk-Line logo on the left side, they also know the risks. Namely, if they’re going to be leaving the house while wearing it, they should ensure they have plenty of time to talk turkey. “If you ask everybody in [Butterball’s office] on Thanksgiving day if they’ve ever been stopped somewhere out of the house with their Butterball jacket on and asked a question, I’m sure they all would say yes,” Miller says. She’s been stopped at the library, at soccer games, at Home Depot, and at the grocery store, so she always has to be on top of her game.

Stahl says she was at the grocery store when “some lady came after me in aisle three.” The woman didn’t know how to cook a turkey or even which aisle carried them, so Stahl sat down with her at a coffee shop inside the store and explained how it’s done—from start to finish. She didn’t mind helping, but conceded, “A grocery store is never where you want to wear a Butterball coat.”

10. THEY UNSUCCESSFULLY PETITIONED FOR A THANKSGIVING TURKEY EMOJI.

Butterball’s turkey experts launched a change.org petition last year to get Unicode, the leading authority on emojis, to introduce a cooked turkey icon. When responding to questions by text, the turkey experts sometimes throw in an emoji to make it more friendly and festive. However, they weren’t satisfied with the live turkey emoji because, as Butterball’s longest-standing talk-line operator Marge Klindera explained in a promotional video, “If your turkey looked like this, even we can’t help you.” Unfortunately, support was somewhat lacking—they got a little over 7500 signatures—and they never received their Thanksgiving emoji. “I think it might take a couple years to get the emoji,” Johnson says.

11. THEY DELAY THEIR OWN THANKSGIVING TO HELP YOU "HOST LIKE A BOSS."

Butterball’s turkey experts are scheduled to work from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Thanksgiving day (and from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Christmas Eve), which means they have no choice but to delay their own holiday celebrations. When it’s time for lunch, they order soup to help soothe their throats, since their voices are often hoarse by the end of the day. They don’t seem to mind one bit, though.

“All of us love to do this, and the really funny thing that people are kind of surprised to hear is that we actually all love to be there on Thanksgiving day because that’s the day when people need the most help,” Stahl says. “Those are the panicked calls that come in, like ‘I have a frozen turkey and it’s Thanksgiving morning. What am I going to do?’”

The rewarding nature of the job and the countless human connections they’ve formed are why so many talk-line operators keep coming back year after year. Johnson says the job is “exhausting in one way, but you still feel really good” for having helped save people from “turkey trauma.” So if you have a burning question about your forthcoming turkey feast, go ahead and give them a ring at 1-800-BUTTERBALL. They’d be happy to help.

16 Secrets of School Portrait Photographers

iStock.com/HKPNC
iStock.com/HKPNC

One by one, they form a little conveyor belt—throngs of students lining up to sit in a chair, look into a camera lens, and smile. For millions of kids, picture day is a way to memorialize their appearance in a given year, although later the out-of-fashion clothes or cosmetic growing pains may be a way to memorialize pure awkwardness. For the photographers tasked with the job, however, picture day means corralling hundreds of children and establishing a comfort level without any time to waste.

“We get about 30 seconds per kid,” Kristin Boyer, a photographer in Atlanta, Georgia, who has been taking school portrait photos for eight years, tells Mental Floss. “And it’s amazing how much impact you can have. You want to make them feel like a million bucks—beautiful, awesome, and smart.”

To get a better sense of what goes into the job, we asked Boyer and two other school photographers to divulge some of the more interesting aspects of wrangling kids for posterity. Read on for some insight into uncooperative subjects, why mornings make for the the best shots, and the importance of booger patrol.

1. SCHOOLS GET A CUT OF THEIR FEE.

While deals can vary by school, photographers typically get paid when parents order photos. The school then takes a percentage of that fee.

To select a professional, schools will often take bids. "I make a presentation," Boyer says. "I'll explain what I do. Sometimes schools are looking for certain things." Boyer takes more dynamic shots with ambitious outdoor backgrounds; some larger schools herding 1500 or more kids, she says, may want to opt for a simple portrait to expedite the process.

As for what schools do with their portion of the revenue, it depends on the school. But many usually sink it back into student programs.

2. PARENTS TAKE PICTURE DAY VERY SERIOUSLY.

A child poses for a school photo
iStock.com/HKPNC

“Parents are very passionate about their kids getting good school photos,” Courtney, a photographer based in Canada, tells Mental Floss. They might send along a note with their kid describing what they didn’t like about the previous year’s photo. “When I started, I didn’t expect the level of hostility with parents when a photo doesn’t go the way they want it to.”

Boyer has sometimes had parents ask to stand behind her while she shoots so they can take their own pictures. “I usually say no cell phone photos. If they take theirs, they won’t buy mine.”

3. THEY TRY TO TAKE PICTURES BEFORE LUNCHTIME.

For younger kids, mornings are better. After lunch, photographers are likely to need the help of photo-editing software. “One of my first-graders got spaghetti on them,” Boyer says. “You don’t want to let them start to get markers or food all over.” Boyer’s most unusual Photoshop request? “I edited out a cookie once. The kid would not sit down unless he had a cookie.”

4. KIDS ARE SOMETIMES TERRIFIED OF THEM.

A little girl in a yearbook portrait photo
iStock.com/HKPNC

Portrait photographers typically work across a spectrum of ages, from kindergarteners to high school seniors. If a child is very young, it’s possible the entire idea of sitting for a portrait will scare them silly. “You always get one or two that are just terrified,” Grant, a portrait photographer who works on pre-K to 12th grade, tells Mental Floss. “I’m a big, beefy dude, and sometimes a kid will get in there and see me and go, ‘Oh, I’m not doing this.’” To placate the pensive pupils, Grant makes a big show of leaving by stomping his feet, then lets one of his less-threatening assistants take the pictures.

5. YOUNGER KIDS TAKE EVERYTHING LITERALLY.

Photographers need to be careful when giving instructions to kindergarteners and first graders, who tend to process things with little nuance. “Sometimes I’ll ask a kid to high-five me and I'll act like it hurts,” Grant says. “I’ll ask for a Band-Aid. Sometimes they’ll look very serious and say, ‘I don’t have one.’” Another time, Grant asked a kid to point his knees toward a nearby computer. “He came over and touched his knee to the laptop.”

6. SOME KIDS INSIST ON HAVING PROPS.

A student poses for a school photo with an electronic keyboard
iStock.com/RyanJLane

A lot of photographers are switching up the conventional portrait by snapping pictures of kids outdoors, in "action" poses like jumping, or against more eclectic backgrounds. Kids are getting more creative, too. Like prop comedians, they will sometimes arrive for picture day armed with accessories. “I’ve seen everything from Halloween costumes to dogs and other pets,” Courtney, says. “Or they want to wear hats or sunglasses.” If it’s within reason and OK with the school, she’ll take one traditional photo and then let the subject pose with their prop for the second.

7. SELFIES HAVE MADE THEIR JOB HARDER.

Posing for a professional portrait can be a strange experience for a kid who has spent considerable time on a cell phone. “Kids have gotten much more comfortable in front of the camera, but it’s bad selfie behavior,” Boyer says. “Doing duck lips, thrusting their arms out to make their shoulders straight. You kind of have to re-train them.” Boyer lets them know it doesn't look good, but "I say it in a nice way."

8. “ORANGE CHIN” IS A PROBLEM.

A child poses for a school photo
iStock.com/imagedepotpro

Sometimes, fashion can betray kids. “Fluorescent green and orange tops seem popular now and light tends to bounce off of it and on the chin,” Grant says. “The bottom of the chin tends to turn orange.” Unless they happen to have an extra shirt or request a photo retouch, they’re stuck with it.

9. THERE'S A REASON THEY ASK KIDS TO TILT THEIR HEAD.

Aside from some unfortunate fashion choices, one staple of school photos is the head tilt, with kids cocking their faces off to one side. According to a school photographer on Reddit, there's a good reason for that. "These photos are going to be used for the yearbook (more than likely) and everyone should have somewhat of the same head pose," they explain. "The way we stage our lights does not flatter the subject when they're looking straight at the camera. If you tilt your head you're more likely to also move your chin in that same direction, which makes for a more interesting highlight/shadow play and also has the added benefit of making the face look smaller (if you're a little overweight)."

10. THEY USE A SYSTEM TO TRACK EACH KID.

A child poses for a school photo
iStock.com/HKPNC

With hundreds of students at a given school, photographers need a reliable system of identifying kids and making sure their names match up to their portfolio. While systems vary, one of the most common is to collect school data and then print a unique ticket with a student’s name, grade, homeroom, and a number. “Those have a barcode,” Grant says. “So they come up, we scan the ticket, and pull up their record. It’s like scanning soup at a grocery store.”

It’s also error-free, unless some senior decides to trade tickets with a friend so their names get mixed up on their school identification cards. “They don’t seem to think it out, though, because the homeroom teachers pass the cards out and will notice the picture isn’t of them.”

11. THEY HAVE SOME SILLY STRATEGIES FOR MAKING A KID SMILE.

Photographers have less than a minute to relax a kid enough so they deliver a broad, genuine smile. To facilitate that, Grant says he keeps a laundry list of groaners at his disposal to provoke a laugh. “It’s like a script tree that a telemarketer would use,” he says. “If a kid says they play soccer, I’ll say, ‘Oh, so you like kicking people?’”

Photographers also rely on another age-old technique: embarrassment. “In grades four to six, if you ask girls to say ‘boys’ and boys to say ‘girls,’ it’s so scandalous,” Grant says. “For a second shot, you ask them to say, ‘cute boys’ or ‘cute girls.’ That typically works.” Grant can also provoke smiles by asking about pet names. Elementary kids react to being asked to say, “trick or treat, smell my feet.” If they remain stubborn, Grant will pull out all the stops and request they say “stinky feet.”

12. SOMEONE NEEDS TO BE ON BOOGER PATROL.

A child picks his nose
iStock.com/RichVintage

While photo-editing software can address rogue snot, no one really wants to spend the extra minutes digitally erasing boogers from photos. Boyer typically enlists volunteer parents to make sure faces are wiped clean or has assistants armed with tissues, combs, and other grooming products to make for a stylish and snot-free image. “We usually try to catch things like that before they get in front of the camera,” she says.

13. SOMETIMES THEY REGRET ASKING QUESTIONS.

To build rapport, photographers are always looking to get kids to talk about themselves. Once, one of Grant’s assistants asked if a child had any pets. “Yes,” the kid responded. “Rabbits. But we ate them last night.”

14. KIDS LIKE TO MESS WITH THEM ...

The older kids get, the more they tend to commit acts of subversion. “One kid came in with his jacket on, took it off, sat down, and was ready to go,” Grant says. “I knew something was going on. I looked at his shirt and it said ‘Student of the Month.’ Except he put masking tape over the ‘ent’ so it read ‘Stud of the Month.’” (After consulting with the principal, the kid was allowed to keep it on for the photo.)

Courtney had a kid sit down with what looked like a nice shirt with birds on it. “It was actually middle fingers,” she says.

15. ... AND SOME KIDS ARE JUST A PAIN.

While most kids are cooperative, Grant will sometimes see subjects who want to make their life as difficult as possible. "Seniors tend to fool around more and be difficult on purpose," he says. "Some of them are just perpetually in a bad mood or feel self-conscious." Sports teammates might egg each other on to not crack a smile. One school photographer who works for Lifetouch writes on Reddit that there are one or two "problem kids" per class: "You just have to remember they're just doing it for attention because they aren't getting it somewhere else."

16. ACCORDING TO THEM, THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A BAD SCHOOL PICTURE.

A student poses for a school photo
iStock.com/RyanJLane

The internet is overflowing with awkward and embarrassing school photos, from unfortunate backgrounds to unfortunate hairstyles. But according to Grant, “bad school photo” is a misnomer that gives photographers a bad rap. “There’s a common idea school pictures are bad,” he says. “No. School pictures are like shooting fish in a barrel. Is a kid going to smile? Is a kid going to lean into it? Or is it going to be bad no matter what I do? If you think the picture is bad, well, no, that’s you. The picture was fine. The bad haircut wasn’t.”

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