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Dollyisms: 26 Quotes and Quips From Dolly Parton

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Dolly Parton—who turns 71 years old today—is a prolific songwriter, performer, and businesswoman. She's been nominated for 46 Grammys (and won eight) and has sold over 100 million albums. But over the years, Dolly has become famous for not just her music but also her clever one-liners, self-deprecating jokes, and encouraging advice, all told with her trademark smile and good-natured giggle.

1. ON TODAY’S MUSIC INDUSTRY

“Everything’s high-tech and I’ve just been dragged screaming and kicking into the 21st century. But I try to surround myself with folks that keep up with it. It’s completely different now, but it’s wonderful that I’m still here. I say that I’m as old as yesterday, but hopefully as new as tomorrow.”

— From a 2014 interview with Today Show

2. ON HER FAMILY’S HUMBLE ORIGINS IN RURAL TENNESSEE

“The kids peed on me every night … There were so many of us. We slept three and four in the bed. I would wash every night, and as soon as I go to bed, the kids would wet on me and I'd have to get up in the morning and do the same thing … That was the only warm thing we knew in the winter time. That was almost a pleasure to get peed on because it was so cold. Lord. It was as cold in the room as it was outside. We’d bundle up to go to bed.”

— From a 1978 interview with Playboy

3. ON HER CLOTHING CHOICES

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"I like all that frilly stuff. Like I've always said, it's a good thing I was a girl, or I'd definitely have been a drag queen! Most definitely."

— From a 1999 interview on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

4. ON WEARING CONSERVATIVE ATTIRE FOR HER ROLE IN 9 TO 5

"It's really a totally different look for me … I loved the movie and I enjoyed doing it, but I couldn't wait to get out of those little suits and get into my trashy stuff."

— From a 1992 interview on Live with Regis & Kathie Lee

5. ON HER GUILT COMPLEX

"I have a guilt complex about being the one that's so successful when so many of them [other performers] are so much more talented than me. And so many friends that I know in Nashville that have twice the talent that I've had, that I've seen them come and go through the years and never see their dream come true."

— From a 2012 interview with NPR

6. ON HER SECRET TO STAYING MARRIED FOR NEARLY 50 YEARS

“I stay gone. [Laughs] … He’s a good guy; we know each other so well. I know every line in his face, and he knows every hair in my wig.”

— From a 2014 interview with Today Show

7. ON ACHIEVING HER DREAMS

"Now the night I graduated from Sevier County High School, back in 1964, we were all asked to stand up and talk about what we were going to do with the rest of our lives. And everybody had a different story. And when it came my time I stood right up there. I said I'm going to Nashville and I'm going to be a star. Well the whole place laughed out loud. And I was so embarrassed, cause I thought, 'How odd. Why is everybody laughing? 'Cause that is what I'm going to do.' But as bad as I felt at that moment and as embarrassed as I was, it did not shake me from my dreams. So I guess I showed them, huh?"

— From her 2009 University of Tennessee, Knoxville commencement speech

8. ON HOW SHE KEEPS HER ENERGY UP

"I just depend on a lot of prayer and meditation. I believe that without God I am nobody, but that with God, I can do anything."

— From a 1980 interview with Roger Ebert

9. ON STARTING DOLLYWOOD

"I really wish that y'all could have seen the look on my lawyer's face 24 years ago when I told him I wanted to start a theme park and call it Dollywood. He thought I'd already taken the train to Crazywood."

— From her 2009 University of Tennessee, Knoxville commencement speech

10. ON WHETHER SHE WEARS IN-EAR MONITORS ON STAGE

"No, I have too much hair! And too much other stuff going on. I can't stand that in my ear. I figure I'll be wearing hearing aids soon enough."

— From a 2003 interview on Oprah

11. ON HER DECISION TO WEAR ATTENTION-GRABBING WIGS AND EXTREME CLOTHES

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"It's certainly a choice. I don't like to be like everybody else. I've often made the statement that I'd never stoop so low as to be fashionable. That's the easiest thing in the world to do."

— From a 1977 interview with Barbara Walters

12. ON HER LEGACY

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“Now people are always asking me, What do you want people to say about you 100 years from now?' I always say I want them to say ‘Dang, don't she still look good for her age’.”

— From her 2009 University of Tennessee, Knoxville commencement speech

13. ON BEING A HILLBILLY

“I’m proud of my hillbilly, white trash background. To me that keeps you humble; that keeps you good. And it doesn’t matter how hard you try to outrun it—if that’s who you are, that’s who you are. It’ll show up once in a while.”

— From a 2014 interview with Southern Living

14. ON THINKING LIKE A MAN

“I grew up in a family of 12 children and six of those kids were boys. I was very close to my dad, and my uncles and my grandpas, and my brothers, so I relate to men. I understand the nature of men. I always say that I look like a woman, but I think like a man, or I can think like a man.”

— From a 2014 interview with Bust

15. ON BELONGING

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"I never felt I belonged. Never belonged in my whole life, even as a little kid. I was just different and so I never really found my place till I moved to Nashville and got in the music business. That was my real place, so I fit in."

— From a 1977 interview with Rolling Stone

16. ON HOW MANY WIGS SHE OWNS

“I don't know, I've got better things to do than count them. But I wear one every day of the week, so probably 365.”

— From a 1984 interview with Interview Magazine (conducted by Andy Warhol)

17. ON HER FLAMBOYANT COSTUMES

"I never let a rhinestone go unturned!"

—From a 2015 tweet by Dolly Parton

18. ON EMOTIONS

"I’m a very sensitive person. I’m a songwriter, so I have to live with my feelings on my sleeve. I have to not harden my heart, because I want to stay open to feel things. So when I hurt, I hurt all over. And when I cry, I cry real hard. And when I’m mad, I’m mad all over. I’m just a person; I like to experience whatever the feeling is and whatever I’m going through."

— From a 2014 interview with Southern Living

19. ON ALL THE REFERENCES TO HER BIG BUST

"It don't bother me so much unless people dwell on it. Get tacky and all. It's part of the act. If someone gets really carried away, well, I sort of pity him. Cause it's his problem, not mine. Other than that, I'm a good sport. I know some of the best Dolly Parton jokes. I made 'em up myself."

— From a 1980 interview with Roger Ebert

20. ON HER RUMORED TATTOOS

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“People say that the reason I wear sleeves is because I have snakes tattooed all over [my arms]. I say ‘No, I don’t!’ I do have a few little tattoos, but they were mostly done to cover scars because I’m so fair.”

— From a 2014 interview with Today Show

21. ON WHAT ACTRESS SHOULD PLAY HER IN A MOVIE

"Hmmmm. I dunno. Maybe if Sissy Spacek made enough money off of playin' Loretta Lynn, she could get herself a boob job."

— From a 1980 interview with Roger Ebert

22. ON CHOOSING BETWEEN BIG BOOBS OR BIG HAIR

“Uhhhhh ... I couldn’t pick one. I’d have to pick three.”

— From a 2014 interview with Southern Living

23. ON SONGWRITING

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“It’s therapy. It’s fun. It’s creative. I love getting on a big writing binge and staying up a couple days working on a song and knowing at the end of those two or three days that I’ve created something that was never in the world before. It’s like a feeling of creating, not that the same stories ain’t been told before, but it ain’t been told through my point of view. And it’s my way of relaxing. Songwriting is a hobby and to me it’s therapy. It’s a joy. It’s a thrill. It’s like mind exercises or something.”

— From a 1990 interview with American Songwriter

24. ON BEING A LIVING LEGEND

“I don’t know! Am I livin’? Am I a legend? You never know how people are going to look at you till you’re older and you look back at your life. So far I’ve been very pleased that, you know, my life has turned out the way it has, and I don’t take it for granted. I owe a lot of credit to God and folks for helping me along the way, so I didn’t do this all by myself.”

— From a 2015 interview with Mashable

25. ON OTHER ARTISTS COVERING HER SONGS

“I’m always flattered that anybody would record my songs, even if they change them. Certain ones of my songs, I’ll hear somebody do it and I’ve had mixed emotions. I think either ‘Wow, that’s great. I never thought of hearing it like that’ or I’ll think ‘Oh Lord, they’ve ruined that song.' But you’re still glad as a writer that they did it, no matter how it turns out. You’re just glad that somebody liked your song enough to record it. But you do have your favorites. I guess the ones I’d like to record my songs right now are the ones having hits and make me the most money.”

— From a 1990 interview with American Songwriter

26. ON HER IMAGE

"It costs a lot of money to look this cheap!"

— An oft-used quote, as in this Vanity Fair article

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Art
Get Crazy With the Official Bob Ross Coloring Book
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If you watched Bob Ross's classic series The Joy of Painting for hours on end but didn’t come away a terribly capable artist, you can still enjoy replicating the amazing public television personality’s work. You can now pretend you’re painting along with the late, great PBS star using a brand-new adult coloring book based on his art.

The Bob Ross Coloring Book (Universe) is the first authorized coloring book based on Ross’s artistic archive. Ross, who would have turned 75 later this year, was all about giving his fans the confidence to pursue art even without extensive training. “There’s an artist hidden at the bottom of every single one of us,” the gentle genius said. So what better way to honor his memory than to relax with his coloring book?

Here’s a sneak peek of some of the Ross landscapes you can recreate, all while flipping through some of his best quotes and timeless tidbits of wisdom.

An black-and-white outline of a Bob ross painting of a mountain valley

A black-and-white outline of a Bob Ross painting shows a house nestled among trees.

A black-and-white outline of a Bob Ross painting shows a farm scene.

And remember, even if you color outside the lines, it’s still a work of art. As Ross said, “We don’t make mistakes. We just have happy accidents.”

You can find The Bob Ross Coloring Book for about $14 on Amazon. Oh, and if you need even more Ross in your life, there’s now a Bob Ross wall calendar, too.

All images courtesy of Rizzoli.

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entertainment
8 Movies That Almost Starred Keanu Reeves
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He may not have the natural ease of Al Pacino, the classical training of Anthony Hopkins, the timeless cool of Jack Nicholson, or the raw versatility of Gary Oldman, but Keanu Reeves has been around long enough to have worked alongside each of those actors. Yet instead of Oscar nods, the actor whose first name means “cool breeze over the mountains” in Hawaiian has a handful of Razzie nominations.

While critical acclaim has mostly eluded Reeves during his 30-plus years in Hollywood, his movies have made nearly $2 billion at the box office. Whether because of his own choosiness or the decisions of studio powers-that-be, that tally could be much, much higher. To celebrate The Chosen One’s 53rd birthday, here are eight movies that almost starred Keanu Reeves.

1. X-MEN (2000)

In Hollywood’s version of the X-Men universe, Hugh Jackman is the definitive Wolverine. But Jackman himself was a last-minute replacement (for Dougray Scott) and other, bigger (in 2000) names were considered for the hirsute superhero—including Reeves. Ultimately, it was the studio that decided to go in a different direction, much to Reeves’ disappointment. “I always wanted to play Wolverine,” the actor told Moviefone in 2014. “But I didn't get that. And they have a great Wolverine now. I always wanted to play The Dark Knight. But I didn't get that one. They've had some great Batmans. So now I'm just enjoying them as an audience.”

2. PLATOON (1986)

For an action star, Reeves isn’t a huge fan of violence, which is why he passed on playing the lead in Oliver Stone’s Oscar-winning Vietnam classic. “Keanu turned it down because of the violence,” Stone told Entertainment Weekly in 2011. “He didn’t want to do violence.”

3. THE FLY II (1989)

Few people would likely mistake Reeves for the son of Jeff Goldblum, but producers were anxious to see him play the next generation of Goldblum’s insectile role in the sequel to The Fly. But Reeves wasn’t having any of it. Why? Simple: “I didn't like the script,” he told Movieline in 1990.

4. SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL (1997)

Speaking of sequels (and bad scripts): Reeves was ready to reprise his role as Jack Traven in Jan de Bont’s second go at the series … then he read it. “When I was offered Speed 2, Jan came to Chicago and so did Sandra, and they said, ‘You’ve got to do this,’” Reeves recalled to The Telegraph. “And I said, 'I read the script and I can’t. It’s called Speed, and it’s on a cruise ship.” (He's got a point.)

Even when the studio dangled a $12 million paycheck in front of him, Reeves said no. “I told [William Mechanic, then-head of Fox], ‘If I do this film, I will not come back up. You guys will send me to the bottom of the ocean and I will not make it back up again.’ I really felt like I was fighting for my life.”

5. HEAT (1995)

Reeves’ refusal to cave on Speed 2 didn’t sit well in Hollywood circles. And it didn't help that he also passed on playing Chris Shiherlis (Val Kilmer’s role) in Michael Mann’s Heat in order to spend a month playing Hamlet at Canada’s Manitoba Theatre Centre. From that point on, Reeves told The Telegraph that it’s been a struggle for him to book any studio movies. “That’s a good old Hollywood story! That was a whole, 'Hey, kid, this is what happens in Hollywood: I said no to the number two and I never worked with the studio again!’”

6. BOWFINGER (1999)

By the time Frank Oz’s Bowfinger rolled around, Eddie Murphy was pretty much the go-to guy for any dual role part, but the movie wasn’t always intended to play that way. Steve Martin, who both starred in and wrote the movie, had actually penned the part of Kit Ramsey for Reeves (whom he had worked with a decade earlier in Parenthood).

“When Steve gave me the script for Bowfinger, it wasn't written for Eddie Murphy,” producer Brian Grazer explained. “It was written for a white action star. It was written for Keanu Reeves, literally. I said, 'Why does it have to be an action star?' He said, 'That's the joke.' I said: 'What if it were Eddie Murphy, and Eddie Murphy played two characters? That could be really funny.' He said: 'You know, that'd be great—that'd be brilliant. Let's do that.' He processed it in about a minute, and he made a creative sea change.”

7. WATCHMEN (2009)

A year before Zack Snyder’s Watchmen hit theaters, Reeves confirmed to MTV what many had speculated: that he had turned down the chance to play Dr. Manhattan in the highly anticipated adaptation. But it wasn’t because of lack of interest on Reeves’ part; it just “didn't work out.” Still, he made it as far as a set visit: “They were shooting in Vancouver while we were filming so I went over to the set to say, 'hi.' They showed me some stuff and it looks amazing! I can’t wait. It’s going to be so killer, man!”

8. TROPIC THUNDER (2008)

By the time Ben Stiller’s Tropic Thunder made its way into theaters in the summer of 2008, the meta-comedy had been more than a decade in the making. So it’s understandable that the final product veered from Stiller’s original plan for the film, which included Reeves playing the role of Tugg Speedman (Stiller’s eventual part). Initially, Stiller had planned to cast himself as smarmy agent Rick Peck (Matthew McConaughey picked up the slack).

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