12 Inedible Pumpkin-Spiced Products

Love it or loathe it, pumpkin spice lattes have become as tied to autumn in the collective consciousness as candy corn and apple cider. People love to consume the oft-mocked flavor, but as our eyewitness accounts and Googling have shown, the scent alone has attached itself to many inedible products, too. (As has the color, but that’s a whole other story). Still, as many rush to capitalize on the trend, the sale of actual pumpkins is down. So consider buying the real thing along with your pumpkin-spiced candle.


When your car’s exhaust doesn’t smell autumnal enough, fear not, there’s GoGood “Pumpkin & Spice” deodorizer.


To celebrate the season, it’s ideal to accordingly bling out your nails and carry the pumpkin spice aroma with you everywhere. Etsy store Blue Sparrow Trinkets has you covered on both counts with a sparkly scented polish that’s perfect for apple picking and frolicking in the decorative gourd patch.



Okay so your nails are covered, but how about your kisser? The good folks at Burt’s Bees are masters of channeling nature’s good stuff into their line of products, which includes pumpkin spice lip balm (for inquiring minds, the natural elements in PS are pumpkin and cinnamon). It's a good way to sample the coveted flavor without any of the calories. And while the fact that you will taste it makes this one sort of edible, eating it is not recommended.


Men, we know you have beards because a) it’s autumn and b) they’re very trendy, but are you caring for it properly? And more importantly, if you are caring for it, are you choosing the best scent? Aromaman Beard Care has a pumpkin spice beard balm that will have every hot-blooded, PS-loving individual clamoring to get close.


What? Yeah, we don’t know either. Scented silicone light bulbs are apparently a thing so why not get one with the best aroma of all, pumpkin spice? On The Bright Side has just the thing, and it’s even hand-dipped for personal craftsmanship and a cool shape.


It feels perfectly appropriate that Farmers' Market brand makes a pumpkin spice fragranced soap. It’s certified organic and made with avocado, which might be the only thing more beloved than pumpkin spice these days.


A true pumpkin spice fanatic might say that they love the stuff so much they wish they could bathe in it. Well, good news: Sink and Soak makes a pumpkin spice bath bomb, so now you can. As they say: “Indulge in all the goodness autumn has to offer.”



Guess who also loves pumpkin spice? Fido, of course! Indulge your pooch's penchant for the sweet and spicy stuff with Twistix Dental Chews. They’re sans wheat, corn, or soy, and low in fat and protein, so pets can indulge carefree. Which makes this one a little bit of a cheat in the "inedible" department, but only if you and your dog share the same taste in snack food.


For a truly concentrated effort, eliminate any unsavory odors your pet may have picked up with this pumpkin spice cologne from Bath & Brush. The blend of pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, and ginger is festive and therapeutic for your and your four-legged friend.



Speaking of therapy: While you’re soaking away in the tub with your pumpkin spice bath bombs, consider ordering pumpkin spice shampoo for your dog or cat. It will make bath time even sweeter.



The purest distillation of the pumpkin spice fragrance might be a good old air freshener. You can even make your own if you want to be one of the witches of autumn who can conjure the oh-so-popular scent.


This entire line is actually “sweet cinnamon pumpkin,” but we all know what that means. And we’ll take one of each, please.

George Washington’s Incredible Hair Routine

America's Founding Fathers had some truly defining locks, but we tend to think of those well-coiffed white curls—with their black ribbon hair ties and perfectly-managed frizz—as being wigs. Not so in the case of the main man himself, George Washington.

As Robert Krulwich reported at National Geographic, a 2010 biography on our first president—Washington: A Life, by Ron Chernow—reveals that the man “never wore a wig.” In fact, his signature style was simply the result of an elaborately constructed coiffure that far surpasses most morning hair routines, and even some “fancy” hair routines.

The style Washington was sporting was actually a tough look for his day. In the late 18th century, such a hairdo would have been worn by military men.

While the hair itself was all real, the color was not. Washington’s true hue was a reddish brown color, which he powdered in a fashion that’s truly delightful to imagine. George would (likely) don a powdering robe, dip a puff made of silk strips into his powder of choice (there are a few options for what he might have used), bend his head over, and shake the puff out over his scalp in a big cloud.

To achieve the actual ‘do, Washington kept his hair long and would then pull it back into a tight braid or simply tie it at the back. This helped to showcase the forehead, which was very in vogue at the time. On occasion, he—or an attendant—would bunch the slack into a black silk bag at the nape of the neck, perhaps to help protect his clothing from the powder. Then he would fluff the hair on each side of his head to make “wings” and secure the look with pomade or good old natural oils.

To get a better sense of the play-by-play, check out the awesome illustrations by Wendy MacNaughton that accompany Krulwich’s post.

"American Mall," Bloomberg
Unwinnable Video Game Challenges You to Keep a Shopping Mall in Business
"American Mall," Bloomberg
"American Mall," Bloomberg

Shopping malls, once the cultural hub of every suburb in America, have become a punchline in the e-commerce era. There are plenty of malls around today, but they tend to be money pits, considering the hundreds of "dead malls" haunting the landscape. Just how hard is it to keep a mall afloat in the current economy? American Mall, a new video game from Bloomberg, attempts to give an answer.

After choosing which tycoon character you want as your stand-in, you're thrown into a mall—rendered in 1980s-style graphics—already struggling to stay in business. The building is filled with rats and garbage you have to clean up if you want to keep shoppers happy. Every few seconds you're contacted by another store owner begging you to lower their rent, and you must either take the loss or risk them packing up for good. When stores are vacated, it's your job to fill them, but it turns out there aren't too many businesses interested in setting up shop in a dying mall.

You can try gimmicks like food trucks and indoor playgrounds to keep customers interested, but in the end your mall will bleed too much money to support itself. You can try playing the bleak game for yourself here—maybe it will put some of the retail casualties of the last decade into perspective.

[h/t Co.Design]


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