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22 Outlawed Baby Names From Around the World

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Here in the U.S., we give parents a lot of leeway when it comes to naming their children. New Jersey only bans names that include obscenities, numerals, or symbols, so the Campbells were totally in the clear when naming their children Adolf Hitler and JoyceLynn Aryan Nation. And no one could stop Penn Jillette from naming his daughter Moxie Crimefighter.

Other parts of the world aren’t as liberal when it comes to baby naming. Just this week, the Swiss court in Zurich ruled against a couple who wanted to use "J" as one of their daughter's middle names, as a tribute to her great-grandparents, Johanna and Josef. Their reasoning for the objection? That it wouldn't be in the best interest of the child and that others would be prompted to put a period after the name when it wasn't an abbreviation. (The court suggested the much-more-acceptable "Jo" instead.) Here are 22 examples of baby names that, for one reason or another, were deemed unfit for a birth certificate.

1. NUTELLA

Two years ago, a French couple decided to name their daughter Nutella because they hoped she could emulate the sweetness and popularity of the chocolate spread. One French judge wasn’t having it, and insisted that the name could only lead to “mockery and disobliging remarks.” It was ruled that the child’s name be shortened to the considerably more conventional-sounding “Ella.” 

2. AKUMA (DEVIL)

The case of baby Akuma, which means “devil” in Japanese, stirred such a frenzy that it even caught the attention of the Prime Minister’s cabinet. The Justice Minister at the time spoke out against the government intervention, saying, “It is not appropriate to instruct parents to change children’s names without legal basis.” Regardless, the name “devil” eventually became illegal in Japan.

3. ANAL

New Zealand has no time for anyone’s bizarre baby-naming shenanigans. Parents have to get all potential names approved by the government, and if officials deem something too wacky, it gets added to the ever-growing list of banned names. There were many questionable entries on the list they released in 2013, “Anal” being a particularly horrifying offender. 

4. GESHER (BRIDGE) 

Norway is another country that regulates what parents can name their child. One Norwegian mother was sent to jail after failing to pay the $420 fine for using an unapproved name. She protested saying that she had been instructed to name her son “Gesher,” the Hebrew word for bridge, in a dream she had

5. TALULA DOES THE HULA FROM HAWAII

Borderline child abuse or most epic name ever? The New Zealand government went with the former, and assumed guardianship of the nine-year-old girl to ensure that a more appropriate name was found for her. 

6. OSAMA BIN LADEN

Shortly following the events of 9/11, a Turkish couple living in Cologne, Germany, felt inspired to name their child after Osama Bin Laden. German officials shot down the name, citing the section of their naming guidelines that states that all names "must not be likely to lead to humiliation." What's more, German law prohibits foreign names that are illegal in the parents' home country, and this particular moniker is illegal in Turkey.

7. ROBOCOP

Officials from Sonora, Mexico, recently compiled a list of banned baby names taken straight from the state’s newborn registries. While citizens are no longer allowed to give this name to their children, there’s at least one kid out there named Robocop

8. CHIEF MAXIMUS

Max is usually short for something, so why not Chief Maximus? This was another name that landed on New Zealand’s list of banned names.

9.BRFXXCCXXMNPCCCCLLLMMNPRXVCLMNCKSSQLBB11116

Sweden has notoriously strict naming laws. In 1982, a law was passed to prevent non-noble families from bestowing their children with noble names. Today the law vaguely states that “first names shall not be approved if they can cause offense or can be supposed to cause discomfort for the one using it, or names which for some obvious reason are not suitable as a first name.” In protest of the restrictions, one couple decided to make their child’s name a captcha code from hell. The name, pronounced “Albin,” was rejected. The parents later submitted the name with the same pronunciation but rewritten as “A." That was rejected as well.

10. @

As is the case with many countries, China doesn't allow symbols and numerals to be included in baby names. The "at" symbol is pronounced “ai-ta” in Chinese, which sounds similar to a phrase meaning “love him.” One couple felt the symbol was a fitting name for their son, but the Chinese government apparently did not agree

11. CIRCUMCISION 

Tragically, this was another name that officials in Sonora, Mexico, discovered in the newborn registries. They made the heroic decision to ban the unfortunate name from that point forward. 

12. HARRIET

If Icelandic parents want to give their children a name that isn’t listed in their National Register of Persons, they can pay a fee and apply for government approval. In addition to not being a potential source of humiliation, the name must also meet criteria that’s more specific to Iceland. It can only include letters in the Icelandic alphabet and must be able to conform to the language grammatically. 

One family was unable to renew their daughter Harriet’s passport because her name can’t be conjugated in Icelandic. Her brother Duncan also had a banned name (there’s no letter “C” in the Icelandic alphabet), and the children instead must carry passports that list their names as “Girl” and “Boy.”

13. METALLICA

A baby girl from Sweden was baptized under this heavy metal name, but tax officials eventually deemed it inappropriate.

14. CHOW TOW (SMELLY HEAD)

By naming their child Chow Tow, which translates to “Smelly Head,” these parents were basically doing the bullies’ jobs for them. Malaysia published this in a list of banned monikers after receiving an influx of people applying to change their given names.

15. LINDA

In 2014, Saudi Arabia released its own list of banned baby names. Several of them, like “Linda,” claimed spots due to their association with Western culture.

16. SEX FRUIT

The New Zealand government thankfully stepped in before some poor child had to spend the rest of their life with the name “Sex Fruit.” Though being raised by parents who thought that was a smart idea in the first place probably presents its own set of challenges.

17. MONKEY

Denmark is another country that requires parents to choose baby names from a pre-approved list. Parents need permission from the government to choose outside the list of 7000 names, and each year approximately 250 are rejected. In addition to Monkey, the names Pluto and Anus also didn’t make the cut.

18. VENERDI (FRIDAY)

Italy has the jurisdiction to reject baby names when they are “likely to limit social interaction and create insecurity.” Judges claimed the name Venerdi, meaning Friday, would make the young boy in question the subject of mockery. The parents were forced to change the name, but in response threatened to name their next child Mercoledi, the Italian word for Wednesday.

19. NIRVANA

Portugal has a whopping 80 pages dedicated to listing which names are legal and which are not. Nirvana is among the more than 2000 names that are included in the banned section.

20. FRAISE (STRAWBERRY)

When a couple attempted to name their child after a strawberry, the French courts intervened. The judge claimed that the name Fraise would incur teasing due to its connection to the idiomatic phrase “ramène ta fraise,” which means “get your butt over here.” The parents insisted that they were only trying to give their daughter an original name, and eventually went with “Fraisine” instead.

21. "." (FULL STOP)

Among New Zealand’s 2013 list of banned names that people apparently tried giving to their children is the symbol “.”. The name would have been pronounced “Full Stop.”

22. SARAH

When naming their children, Moroccan parents must choose from a list of acceptable names that properly align with “Moroccan identity.” Sarah with an “H” is banned because it’s considered to be the Hebrew spelling, but the Arabic “Sara” is perfectly fine. 

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A Hairy Situation: Meet the Winners of the 2017 World Beard and Moustache Championships
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From long and thick to coiled or curly, every type of mustache, beard, and goatee under the Sun (and barber's pole) seemed to be present at the 2017 World Beard and Moustache Championships. The biannual competition—held in Austin, Texas in early September, according to Laughing Squid—brings together hairy rivals from around the globe, who come before a panel of judges to see whose facial hair is the most coiffed and creative.

Participants compete across 17 traditional categories in three main groups: mustaches, partial beards, and full beards. Awards are granted to individuals with the best Salvador Dalí–inspired mustache; the best "goatee freestyle," or short beards styled into elaborate arrangements; and the best natural full beard, among other looks.

Held in Leogang, Austria, the 2015 World Beard and Moustache Championships had just 317 competitors, Bryan Nelson—who helped organize this year's event along with the Austin Facial Hair Clubtells Mental Floss. But the 2017 Championships attracted a staggering 738 participants from 33 countries.

Nelson believes that the Austin Facial Hair Club pulled off history's largest facial hair competition (the group is awaiting validation from Guinness World Records), and also says that the tournament was the first of its kind to include craft-based categories for women.

"We had Creative Moustache and Realistic Moustache, Creative Beard and Realistic Beard," Nelson says. For the realistic categories, female participants used either real or fake tresses to create authentic-looking facial hair (which they attached to their faces), and for the creative categories, "they were all over the place and could be made from whatever," Nelson explains. "Seashells, bacon, bones … it's such a creative event."

You can check out a handful of 2017's winners—who were captured in all their hairy glory by Las Vegas-based photographer Greg Anderson—below, or view even more hilarious looks on his Instagram.

[h/t Laughing Squid]

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The Funniest Word in the English Language? 'Booty,' According to New Survey
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Some words, regardless of their meaning, are simply more chuckle-worthy than others. To determine which expressions in the English language are truly the most comical, Smithsonian reports that psychologists at the University of Warwick in the UK conducted a survey in which they asked people to rate the “humor value” of a sampling of chosen words. They recently published their findings in the journal Behavior Research Methods.

The researchers selected nearly 5000 words, and then used Amazon’s online crowdsourcing tool Mechanical Turk to ask more than 800 individuals to rank the humor value of 211 randomly chosen words from the list, on a scale from 1 (humorless) to 5 (humorous). Likely not surprising to anyone with younger siblings, the funniest word ended up being “booty,” with an average ranking of 4.32. In descending order, the remaining top 12 words—which all received a score of 3.9 or higher—were “tit,” “booby,” “hooter,” “nitwit,” “twit,” “waddle,” “tinkle,” “bebop,” “egghead,” “ass,” and “twerp.”

Why these words are so funny remains fuzzy. But when they analyzed their findings according to age and gender, the researchers did find that sexually suggestive words like “orgy” and “bondage” tended to tickle the funny bones of men, as did the words “birthmark,” “brand,” “chauffeur,” “doze,” “buzzard,” “czar,” “weld,” “prod,” “corn,” and “raccoon.”

Meanwhile, women tended to laugh at the words “giggle,” “beast,” “circus,” “grand,” “juju,” “humbug,” “slicker,” “sweat,” “ennui,” “holder,” “momma,” and “sod.” As for people under the age of 32, they were amused by “goatee,” “joint,” and “gangster,” while older participants liked “squint,” “jingle,” “burlesque,” and “pong.” Across the board, all parties were least amused by words like “rape,” “torture,” and “torment.”

Although humor is complex and dependent on elements like syntax and delivery, the study's researchers say that breaking comedy down to single-word units could demystify its essence.

“The research initially came about as a result of our curiosity,” said Tomas Engelthaler, the study’s lead author, in a press release. “We were wondering if certain words are perceived as funnier, even when read on their own. It turns out that indeed is the case. Humor is an everyday aspects of our lives and we hope this publicly available dataset allows future researchers to better understand its foundations.”

[h/t Smithsonian]

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