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Quench Your Villainous Thirst With Unicorn Tears

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Novelty gift store Firebox is selling a type of booze called "Unicorn Tears." The shimmery drink has little bits of edible silver in it, making each bottle look like a glittery snow globe. At 80 proof, its effects are hardly imaginative.

The whimsical drink looks like a ton of fun to drink, but comes at a price (and we don't mean the $62 cost). According to the website, the booze is not exactly humane:

Bringing you this enchantingly scrumptious Gin Liqueur has been no easy feat. We’ve lost mammoth minutes of beauty sleep over the past few months—because we’ve been up all night slaying unicorns for your drinking pleasure—believe us when we tell you those frisky little buggers aren’t easy to snag. A harrowing quest, some courageous Fireboxers were lost along the way, but it was all well worth it because blimey is this stuff fantastic.

Yikes. So what does the massacre of sparkly, magical beings taste like? Orange, with hints of juniper and maple syrup. The sugary booze will probably be easier to swallow than the hard truth that the drink came from the tears of a murdered magical pony.

If the slaughter of these majestic beasts doesn't faze you, they offer some cocktail recipes for your next shindig with Voldemort, including a Tears Collins or Unicorn Fizz.

[h/t: Incredible Things]

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New Pop Chart Lab Poster Is a Boozy Blueprint For Making Classic Cocktails
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Pop Chart Lab

Pop Chart Lab's posters combine design with data, and their latest offering—a full breakdown of the ingredients in 60 classic cocktails—is no exception. From the exact ratio of gin and tonic that should go into a G & T (2 ounces and 4 ounces, respectively) to the garnishes you'll need to make a proper Tom Collins (a maraschino cherry and a lemon twist), the 3-foot-by-2-foot "Constitutions of Classic Cocktails" artwork teaches mixology basics you'd typically learn in bartending school, sans tuition fee.

In addition to mainstays like the Negroni and the Whiskey Sour, the poster also includes relatively obscure drinks (ever heard of the Golden Dawn, or the Journalist?), which you can attempt after drinking your way through your favorite concoctions. Before you know it, you'll be explaining to your friends the intricacies of why you should stir martinis instead of shaking them (sorry, James Bond), or the difference between a highball and a Collins glass. Bottoms up!

"Constitutions of Classic Cocktails" costs $37, and is currently available for pre-order. Shipping begins on Friday, October 20, 2017. (To see the poster's details up close, visit Pop Chart Lab's website and click on the diagram.)

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Attention Beer Lovers: A London Brewery Is Hiring a Professional Taste-Tester
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Beer lovers aren’t given many chances to discuss their passion for imbibing at job interviews. But a new open position at London's Meantime Brewing Company lists that expertise as one of the top qualifications. As Fortune reports, the brewery is seeking a professional beer taster to help improve its products.

The brewery’s part-time employee will “join the panel brewers as they taste, discuss, and pass opinion on a range of different beers,” according to the job listing on LinkedIn. On top of steady access to free booze three hours a week, the taster will receive a competitive salary “with beer benefits.” As the description reads: “Yes, this could just be the best job in the world.”

Meantime isn’t just considering any casual beer drinker for the role. Their ideal candidate will have a precise palate that can distinguish “chocolate malt from dark malt” and “Fuggles from Cascade hops.” They will also have an understanding of global consumer markets, a functioning knowledge of English, and an extensive beer vocabulary. The brewery is located in the London borough of Greenwich, so applicants who aren’t local should be willing to relocate.

Founded in 1999, the Meantime Brewing Company made its name on the beer scene with signature beverages like their London Lager, London Pale Ale, and Yakima Red. If you’re interested in joining the team, post 30 words on your LinkedIn profile explaining why you deserve the gig, along with any photos or videos that may help your case, with the hashtag #pickmemeantime. The company will narrow down the pool to three candidates for an in-person beer tasting before deciding their top pick. Meanwhile, you can prepare for the job by brushing up on your beer facts.

[h/t Fortune]

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