Bridal gowns have come a long way since this video was made in 1966. But (thankfully) not nearly as far as the makers of these hypothetical wedding fashions of the future imagined.

Who doesn't love feathers? (Especially when said feathers are attached to tear-away skirts and removable sleeves?)

It's not entirely clear what is going on in this video, which comes from the newly-released archives of the Associated Press. It seems like some sort of test footage—there's no sound, the models remain mostly stagnant, and the occasional stray hand or production guy wanders through the shot.

While the whole video is worth a watch, if you only have time for the highlights, we broke it down into a few key looks. Since you almost certainly won't be wearing any of these to your wedding (sorry, anonymous designers from the '60s), we've included some suggestions for alternate uses:

1. For when you can't stop licking your stitches:

2. For when you're wooing Big Bird, but trying to be coy about it:

3. For when it rains but your outfit is fabulous:

4. For when you're storming the castle to save Princess Buttercup (but black just isn't your color):

5. For when you feel like hang-gliding into the party:

See? It's all still technically occasion-wear. We just took the liberty of redefining "occasion."