If your old-timey penny farthing isn't old enough for your vintage needs, perhaps you need to look even further back in history. 

One Portland-based seller on Craigslist is trying to unload just the thing to make your dreams of a retro ride a reality: A T. rex skeleton tricycle named Sue.

"Presenting your chance to be the proud owner of the only dinosaur skeleton that has been reanimated through the mysteries of science and technology," the ad declares. 

The 90-pound art bike is about 12 feet long from head to tail, which is apparently the same size as a 12-year-old young adult T. rex. The head is a marionette that can be moved by the rider to mimic the movements of a living dinosaur (its jaw even opens and closes). The arms, which are attached to the pedals, are also movable. 

Although the tricycle is a little challenging to ride, the seller claims she's totally safe. "She's never attacked anyone in the crowds that form whenever I take her out of the warehouse where she lives (unlike her cousin from Jurassic Park)."

Because riding a dinosaur every day might not be the most practical mode of transport, the ad recommends saving Sue for special occasions, like parades.

[h/t: Citylab.com]