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Wine boxes, via Bandit Wines Facebook
Wine boxes, via Bandit Wines Facebook

10 Adult Spins on Kid Classics

Wine boxes, via Bandit Wines Facebook
Wine boxes, via Bandit Wines Facebook

When you grow up, you don't have to put away your childish things—you just need to soak them in alcohol. 

1. Juice Boxes

Bandit Wines packages its beverages in small cartons that are easily transported. Unscrew the top, stick in a straw, and you have your own portable wine supply. The best part is the wine is actually really good. “Because we’re able to save money on glass and cork, we have more cash to pour into the quality of our wine,” the website explains. The affordable wine comes in two sizes: 500ml and one liter, for thirstier wine aficionados. 

2. Ice Pops 

Pina Colada and Mojito pops, via LIC

Remember those pops that came in the paper tube? Now you can have those again, but a little boozier. LIC comes in two fun tropical flavors: pina colada and mojito. With an ABV of 12 percent and only 54 calories a pop, it’s clearly the perfect treat for summer.  

3. Root beer

Root Beer, via Small Town Brewery

Small Town Brewery produces a delicious alcoholic root beer. “Not Your Fathers Root Beer” tastes just like the old-fashioned cola with the faintest hint of booziness. The regular kind has an ABV of 5.9 percent, but if you want something stronger, their seasonal beers can be as strong as 19.5 percent. 

4. Air hockey

Canadian Imgur user nwawr took the classic game of air hockey and gave it a beer pong twist. By carving Solo cup sized holes in the table, players are able to drink for every goal they let past. The game has been dubbed alcohockey, and it is glorious.

5. Ice Cream 

When beer spilled near the ice cream maker at a birthday party, Emory grad Ari Fleischer was struck with inspiration. He founded The Ice Cream Bar, a company that concocts delightful ice creams and sorbets made with real alcohol. The flavors range from malted milk chocolate stout to peach lambic. And they can really get you drunk: the mojito sorbet has an ABV of 8.4 percent. 

6. Whipped Cream 

Coconut cream pie Whipahol, via Whipped Lightning

Whipped Lightning combines grain alcohol with dairy cream to make surprisingly strong "whipahol." The inventive flavors include caramel pecan, white chocolate raspberry, and coconut cream pie. The 33.5 proof treat has a bite, but tastes great on sugary shots and cocktails. Of course, you can always eat it right out of the can—we won’t judge. 

7. Cotton Candy 

iStock

Chef Michael Granata makes cotton candy with an alcoholic kick. The secret is soaking granulated sugar in spirits. After letting the booze-soaked sugar dry for two weeks, the chef puts it in a food processor, and then feeds it into a cotton candy machine. The simple process can be replicated with any alcohol of choice. So yes, Budweiser cotton candy can be a reality. The best part is that the machine doesn’t get that hot, so the candy is still alcoholic.  

8. Gummy bears 

iStock

Candy like gummy bears can be soaked in vodka with semi-decent results. After soaking for a day or so, the bears will become swollen with booze. Many news channels have condemned this trick as a method for high schoolers to get secretly tanked, but you would have to eat a lot of them to really feel the effects. 

9. Battleship

Instead of saying “You sunk my battleship,” you can shout “Shots!” This party variation of the classic Battleship game can be purchased, or you can build your own with pizza boxes. It’s up to you how big the shots are.

10. Slushies 

In 2012, Kirin developed a slushie machine that churned out frozen beer frost in their Tokyo beer garden. Now you can buy one for yourself on Amazon. If you don’t want the trouble of making it yourself, you can always catch a Dodgers game.

AND THAT BOOZY TASTE, WITHOUT THE BOOZE...

Marshmallows 

BourbonMashmallows, via Wondermade

Wondermade makes a whole slew of interestingly flavored marshmallows, but the most exciting is their line of alcoholic flavors. The current lineup features beer, gin, bourbon, and fireball. Each box comes with 16 delicious marshmallow treats—the perfect amount for eating. 

Lollipops 

Absinthe Lollypop, via Lollyphile

Lollyphile's pops are not the kind you had as a kid. In addition to flavors like sriracha and blue cheese, they also have a number of boozy flavors, including cabernet, IPA beer, and absinthe. The pops aren't actually alcoholic, but we can confirm that the wine flavors are delicious.

Gumballs

Absinthe gumballs, via ArchieMcPhee

These gumballs don’t actually contain any alcohol, but they are made to taste just like absinthe. The bright green candies contain anise, the main component of absinthe, so their taste is very convincing. 

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History
84 Years Ago Today: Goodbye Prohibition!
A huge queue outside the Board of Health offices in Centre Street, New York, for licenses to sell alcohol shortly after the repeal of prohibition. The repeal of prohibition was a key policy of Franklin Roosevelt's government as it allowed the government an opportunity to raise tax revenues at a time of economic hardship.
A huge queue outside the Board of Health offices in Centre Street, New York, for licenses to sell alcohol shortly after the repeal of prohibition. The repeal of prohibition was a key policy of Franklin Roosevelt's government as it allowed the government an opportunity to raise tax revenues at a time of economic hardship.
Keystone/Getty Images

It was 84 years ago today that the Twenty-First Amendment to the Constitution was ratified, repealing the earlier Amendment that declared the manufacture, sale, and transport of alcohol illegal in the United States. Prohibition was over! Booze that had been illegal for 13 years was suddenly legal again, and our long national nightmare was finally over.


A giant barrel of beer, part of a demonstration against prohibition in America.
Henry Guttmann/Getty Images

Prohibition of alcohol was not a popular doctrine. It turned formerly law-abiding citizens into criminals. It overwhelmed police with enforcement duties and gave rise to organized crime. In cities like Milwaukee and St. Louis, the dismantling of breweries left thousands of people unemployed.


Photograph courtesy of the Boston Public Library

Homemade alcohol was often dangerous and some people died from drinking it. Some turned to Sterno or industrial alcohol, which was dangerous and sometimes poisoned by the government to discourage drinking. State and federal governments were spending a lot of money on enforcement, while missing out on taxes from alcohol.


New York City Deputy Police Commissioner John A. Leach (right) watches agents pour liquor into sewer following a raid during the height of Prohibition.

The midterm elections of 1930 saw the majority in Congress switch from Republican to Democratic, signaling a shift in public opinion about Prohibition as well as concerns about the depressed economy. Franklin Roosevelt, who urged repeal, was elected president in 1932. The Twenty-first Amendment to the Constitution was proposed by Congress in February of 1933, the sole purpose of which was to repeal the Eighteenth Amendment establishing Prohibition.


American men guarding their private beer brewing hide-out, during Prohibition.
Keystone/Getty Images

With passage of the Constitutional Amendment to repeal Prohibition a foregone conclusion, a huge number of businessmen lined up at the Board of Health offices in New York in April of 1933 to apply for liquor licenses to be issued as soon as the repeal was ratified.

The Amendment was ratified by the states by the mechanism of special state ratifying conventions instead of state legislatures. Many states ratified the repeal as soon as conventions could be organized. The ratifications by the required two-thirds of the states was achieved on December 5, 1933, when conventions in Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Utah agreed to repeal Prohibition through the Amendment.


Workmen unloading crates of beer stacked at a New York brewery shortly after the repeal of Prohibition.
Keystone/Getty Images

A brewery warehouse in New York stacked crates past the ceiling to satisfy a thirsty nation after the repeal of Prohibition.


Keystone/Getty Images

Liquor wouldn't officially be legal until December 15th, but Americans celebrated openly anyway, and in most places, law enforcement officials let them.

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Courtesy New District
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Food
Say ‘Cheers’ to the Holidays With This 24-Bottle Wine Advent Calendar
Courtesy New District
Courtesy New District

This year, eschew your one-tiny-chocolate-a-day Advent calendar and count down to Christmas the boozy way. An article on the Georgia Straight tipped us off to New District’s annual wine Advent calendars, featuring 24 full-size bottles.

Each bottle of red, white, or sparkling wine is hand-picked by the company’s wine director, with selections from nine different countries. Should you be super picky, you can even order yourself a custom calendar, though that will likely add to the already-high price point. The basic 24-bottle order costs $999 (in Canadian dollars), and if you want to upgrade from cardboard boxes to pine, that will run you $100 more.

If you can’t quite handle 24 bottles (or $999), the company is introducing a 12-bottle version this year, too. For $500, you get 12 reds, whites, rosés, and sparkling wines from various unnamed “elite wine regions.”

With both products, each bottle is numbered, so you know exactly what you should be drinking every day if you really want to be a stickler for the Advent schedule. Whether you opt for 12 or 24 bottles, the price works out to about $42 per bottle, which is somewhere in between the “I buy all my wines based on what’s on sale at Trader Joe’s” level and “I am a master sommelier” status.

If you want to drink yourself through the holiday season, act now. To make sure you receive your shipment before December 1, you’ll need to order by November 20. Get it here.

[h/t the Georgia Straight]

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