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Wine boxes, via Bandit Wines Facebook
Wine boxes, via Bandit Wines Facebook

10 Adult Spins on Kid Classics

Wine boxes, via Bandit Wines Facebook
Wine boxes, via Bandit Wines Facebook

When you grow up, you don't have to put away your childish things—you just need to soak them in alcohol. 

1. Juice Boxes

Bandit Wines packages its beverages in small cartons that are easily transported. Unscrew the top, stick in a straw, and you have your own portable wine supply. The best part is the wine is actually really good. “Because we’re able to save money on glass and cork, we have more cash to pour into the quality of our wine,” the website explains. The affordable wine comes in two sizes: 500ml and one liter, for thirstier wine aficionados. 

2. Ice Pops 

Pina Colada and Mojito pops, via LIC

Remember those pops that came in the paper tube? Now you can have those again, but a little boozier. LIC comes in two fun tropical flavors: pina colada and mojito. With an ABV of 12 percent and only 54 calories a pop, it’s clearly the perfect treat for summer.  

3. Root beer

Root Beer, via Small Town Brewery

Small Town Brewery produces a delicious alcoholic root beer. “Not Your Fathers Root Beer” tastes just like the old-fashioned cola with the faintest hint of booziness. The regular kind has an ABV of 5.9 percent, but if you want something stronger, their seasonal beers can be as strong as 19.5 percent. 

4. Air hockey

Canadian Imgur user nwawr took the classic game of air hockey and gave it a beer pong twist. By carving Solo cup sized holes in the table, players are able to drink for every goal they let past. The game has been dubbed alcohockey, and it is glorious.

5. Ice Cream 

When beer spilled near the ice cream maker at a birthday party, Emory grad Ari Fleischer was struck with inspiration. He founded The Ice Cream Bar, a company that concocts delightful ice creams and sorbets made with real alcohol. The flavors range from malted milk chocolate stout to peach lambic. And they can really get you drunk: the mojito sorbet has an ABV of 8.4 percent. 

6. Whipped Cream 

Coconut cream pie Whipahol, via Whipped Lightning

Whipped Lightning combines grain alcohol with dairy cream to make surprisingly strong "whipahol." The inventive flavors include caramel pecan, white chocolate raspberry, and coconut cream pie. The 33.5 proof treat has a bite, but tastes great on sugary shots and cocktails. Of course, you can always eat it right out of the can—we won’t judge. 

7. Cotton Candy 

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Chef Michael Granata makes cotton candy with an alcoholic kick. The secret is soaking granulated sugar in spirits. After letting the booze-soaked sugar dry for two weeks, the chef puts it in a food processor, and then feeds it into a cotton candy machine. The simple process can be replicated with any alcohol of choice. So yes, Budweiser cotton candy can be a reality. The best part is that the machine doesn’t get that hot, so the candy is still alcoholic.  

8. Gummy bears 

iStock

Candy like gummy bears can be soaked in vodka with semi-decent results. After soaking for a day or so, the bears will become swollen with booze. Many news channels have condemned this trick as a method for high schoolers to get secretly tanked, but you would have to eat a lot of them to really feel the effects. 

9. Battleship

Instead of saying “You sunk my battleship,” you can shout “Shots!” This party variation of the classic Battleship game can be purchased, or you can build your own with pizza boxes. It’s up to you how big the shots are.

10. Slushies 

In 2012, Kirin developed a slushie machine that churned out frozen beer frost in their Tokyo beer garden. Now you can buy one for yourself on Amazon. If you don’t want the trouble of making it yourself, you can always catch a Dodgers game.

AND THAT BOOZY TASTE, WITHOUT THE BOOZE...

Marshmallows 

BourbonMashmallows, via Wondermade

Wondermade makes a whole slew of interestingly flavored marshmallows, but the most exciting is their line of alcoholic flavors. The current lineup features beer, gin, bourbon, and fireball. Each box comes with 16 delicious marshmallow treats—the perfect amount for eating. 

Lollipops 

Absinthe Lollypop, via Lollyphile

Lollyphile's pops are not the kind you had as a kid. In addition to flavors like sriracha and blue cheese, they also have a number of boozy flavors, including cabernet, IPA beer, and absinthe. The pops aren't actually alcoholic, but we can confirm that the wine flavors are delicious.

Gumballs

Absinthe gumballs, via ArchieMcPhee

These gumballs don’t actually contain any alcohol, but they are made to taste just like absinthe. The bright green candies contain anise, the main component of absinthe, so their taste is very convincing. 

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alcohol
A Restaurant In Australia Is Garnishing Its Margaritas With Frozen Eyeballs
Jesse Hunniford/MONA
Jesse Hunniford/MONA

A cocktail special at a new restaurant in Australia has fallen under the global gaze thanks to its floating gaze. As Nerdist reports, Faro Tapas, a new Spanish eatery at Tasmania's Museum of Old and New Art (MONA), offers a black margarita garnished with a frozen bull eyeball.

The frosty drink contains tequila, mezcal, lime, and charcoal (presumably for color). It's served in a glass with a black salted rim and the aforementioned toothpick-skewered peeper.

Gourmet Traveller recommends that those brave enough to sample Faro Tapas's bovine booze drink it quickly, as the eyeball's ice casing melts. (If you're willing to risk brain freeze to avoid eye mush, this sounds like a smart move.)

That said, adventurous drinkers with stomachs of steel might find Faro Tapas's eyeball-garnished margarita tame compared to the Yukon Territory's Sourtoe cocktail (it contains a dehydrated human toe) and countless other weird and wacky cocktails served up around the world. Bottoms (and eyeballs) up!

[h/t Nerdist]

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Health
Drink Up: New Study Concludes Wine Can Offset Dementia
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iStock

The health benefits of wine can sometimes be overstated by people who are a few glasses deep and slurring their words. Should you ever find yourself in a position to defend your moderate imbibing, you have supporting evidence: A new study says two glasses of wine daily can potentially reduce your risk of developing Alzheimer's.

The study, which appears in Scientific Reports, shows that wine has an effect on one's glymphatic function, or the way the brain removes toxins. To clear itself of damaging and accumulated proteins like tau and beta amyloid, which are often linked with dementia, the brain pumps in cerebral spinal fluid (CSF) to act as a flushing solution. All sorts of variables can influence the glymphatic system's operation, including trauma, stroke, and excessive alcohol intake.

But when researchers dosed the mice in the study with moderate alcohol—amounting to 2.6 drinks daily—the glymphatic system was more efficient, removing more waste and exhibiting less inflammation than the teetotaling control mice.

As is usually the case when it comes to booze, you can have too much of a good thing. When mice got the equivalent of 7.9 drinks daily, their glymphatic system grew sluggish until the overindulging was terminated.

"Studies have shown that low-to-moderate alcohol intake is associated with a lesser risk of dementia, while heavy drinking for many years confers an increased risk of cognitive decline," lead study author Maiken Nedergaard, of the University of Rochester Medical Center, said in a press statement. "This study may help explain why this occurs. Specifically, low doses of alcohol appear to improve overall brain health."

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