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Wine boxes, via Bandit Wines Facebook

10 Adult Spins on Kid Classics

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Wine boxes, via Bandit Wines Facebook

When you grow up, you don't have to put away your childish things—you just need to soak them in alcohol. 

1. Juice Boxes

Bandit Wines packages its beverages in small cartons that are easily transported. Unscrew the top, stick in a straw, and you have your own portable wine supply. The best part is the wine is actually really good. “Because we’re able to save money on glass and cork, we have more cash to pour into the quality of our wine,” the website explains. The affordable wine comes in two sizes: 500ml and one liter, for thirstier wine aficionados. 

2. Ice Pops 

Pina Colada and Mojito pops, via LIC

Remember those pops that came in the paper tube? Now you can have those again, but a little boozier. LIC comes in two fun tropical flavors: pina colada and mojito. With an ABV of 12 percent and only 54 calories a pop, it’s clearly the perfect treat for summer.  

3. Root beer

Root Beer, via Small Town Brewery

Small Town Brewery produces a delicious alcoholic root beer. “Not Your Fathers Root Beer” tastes just like the old-fashioned cola with the faintest hint of booziness. The regular kind has an ABV of 5.9 percent, but if you want something stronger, their seasonal beers can be as strong as 19.5 percent. 

4. Air hockey

Canadian Imgur user nwawr took the classic game of air hockey and gave it a beer pong twist. By carving Solo cup sized holes in the table, players are able to drink for every goal they let past. The game has been dubbed alcohockey, and it is glorious.

5. Ice Cream 

When beer spilled near the ice cream maker at a birthday party, Emory grad Ari Fleischer was struck with inspiration. He founded The Ice Cream Bar, a company that concocts delightful ice creams and sorbets made with real alcohol. The flavors range from malted milk chocolate stout to peach lambic. And they can really get you drunk: the mojito sorbet has an ABV of 8.4 percent. 

6. Whipped Cream 

Coconut cream pie Whipahol, via Whipped Lightning

Whipped Lightning combines grain alcohol with dairy cream to make surprisingly strong "whipahol." The inventive flavors include caramel pecan, white chocolate raspberry, and coconut cream pie. The 33.5 proof treat has a bite, but tastes great on sugary shots and cocktails. Of course, you can always eat it right out of the can—we won’t judge. 

7. Cotton Candy 

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Chef Michael Granata makes cotton candy with an alcoholic kick. The secret is soaking granulated sugar in spirits. After letting the booze-soaked sugar dry for two weeks, the chef puts it in a food processor, and then feeds it into a cotton candy machine. The simple process can be replicated with any alcohol of choice. So yes, Budweiser cotton candy can be a reality. The best part is that the machine doesn’t get that hot, so the candy is still alcoholic.  

8. Gummy bears 

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Candy like gummy bears can be soaked in vodka with semi-decent results. After soaking for a day or so, the bears will become swollen with booze. Many news channels have condemned this trick as a method for high schoolers to get secretly tanked, but you would have to eat a lot of them to really feel the effects. 

9. Battleship

Instead of saying “You sunk my battleship,” you can shout “Shots!” This party variation of the classic Battleship game can be purchased, or you can build your own with pizza boxes. It’s up to you how big the shots are.

10. Slushies 

In 2012, Kirin developed a slushie machine that churned out frozen beer frost in their Tokyo beer garden. Now you can buy one for yourself on Amazon. If you don’t want the trouble of making it yourself, you can always catch a Dodgers game.

AND THAT BOOZY TASTE, WITHOUT THE BOOZE...

Marshmallows 

BourbonMashmallows, via Wondermade

Wondermade makes a whole slew of interestingly flavored marshmallows, but the most exciting is their line of alcoholic flavors. The current lineup features beer, gin, bourbon, and fireball. Each box comes with 16 delicious marshmallow treats—the perfect amount for eating. 

Lollipops 

Absinthe Lollypop, via Lollyphile

Lollyphile's pops are not the kind you had as a kid. In addition to flavors like sriracha and blue cheese, they also have a number of boozy flavors, including cabernet, IPA beer, and absinthe. The pops aren't actually alcoholic, but we can confirm that the wine flavors are delicious.

Gumballs

Absinthe gumballs, via ArchieMcPhee

These gumballs don’t actually contain any alcohol, but they are made to taste just like absinthe. The bright green candies contain anise, the main component of absinthe, so their taste is very convincing. 

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New Pop Chart Lab Poster Is a Boozy Blueprint For Making Classic Cocktails
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Pop Chart Lab

Pop Chart Lab's posters combine design with data, and their latest offering—a full breakdown of the ingredients in 60 classic cocktails—is no exception. From the exact ratio of gin and tonic that should go into a G & T (2 ounces and 4 ounces, respectively) to the garnishes you'll need to make a proper Tom Collins (a maraschino cherry and a lemon twist), the 3-foot-by-2-foot "Constitutions of Classic Cocktails" artwork teaches mixology basics you'd typically learn in bartending school, sans tuition fee.

In addition to mainstays like the Negroni and the Whiskey Sour, the poster also includes relatively obscure drinks (ever heard of the Golden Dawn, or the Journalist?), which you can attempt after drinking your way through your favorite concoctions. Before you know it, you'll be explaining to your friends the intricacies of why you should stir martinis instead of shaking them (sorry, James Bond), or the difference between a highball and a Collins glass. Bottoms up!

"Constitutions of Classic Cocktails" costs $37, and is currently available for pre-order. Shipping begins on Friday, October 20, 2017. (To see the poster's details up close, visit Pop Chart Lab's website and click on the diagram.)

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Attention Beer Lovers: A London Brewery Is Hiring a Professional Taste-Tester
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Beer lovers aren’t given many chances to discuss their passion for imbibing at job interviews. But a new open position at London's Meantime Brewing Company lists that expertise as one of the top qualifications. As Fortune reports, the brewery is seeking a professional beer taster to help improve its products.

The brewery’s part-time employee will “join the panel brewers as they taste, discuss, and pass opinion on a range of different beers,” according to the job listing on LinkedIn. On top of steady access to free booze three hours a week, the taster will receive a competitive salary “with beer benefits.” As the description reads: “Yes, this could just be the best job in the world.”

Meantime isn’t just considering any casual beer drinker for the role. Their ideal candidate will have a precise palate that can distinguish “chocolate malt from dark malt” and “Fuggles from Cascade hops.” They will also have an understanding of global consumer markets, a functioning knowledge of English, and an extensive beer vocabulary. The brewery is located in the London borough of Greenwich, so applicants who aren’t local should be willing to relocate.

Founded in 1999, the Meantime Brewing Company made its name on the beer scene with signature beverages like their London Lager, London Pale Ale, and Yakima Red. If you’re interested in joining the team, post 30 words on your LinkedIn profile explaining why you deserve the gig, along with any photos or videos that may help your case, with the hashtag #pickmemeantime. The company will narrow down the pool to three candidates for an in-person beer tasting before deciding their top pick. Meanwhile, you can prepare for the job by brushing up on your beer facts.

[h/t Fortune]

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