10 Jokes from Around the World

by Laura Turner Garrison

1. Kenya

The Joke: Your family is so stupid, you give your chickens hot water so they can lay boiled eggs.

Why It's Funny: Mchongoano is a type of joke found in Sheng, a language that originated in Nairobi. Mchongoano is used in dissing battles, comparable to “your mom” slams in the United States.

2. Egypt

The Joke: Q: How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?

A: You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish.

Why It's Funny: Well, it’s not, really, but some sources identify it as one of the oldest jokes in the world.

3. Uruguay 

The Joke: A girl asks an Argentine man for a light. He pats his trousers, chest, and back pockets.

“Sorry,” he says. “I don’t have one, but wow, do I have a great body or what?

Why It's Funny: Argentine men have a reputation for excessive vanity among their fellow South Americans. No one enjoys poking fun at them quite like the neighboring Uruguayans.

4. Bulgaria 

The Joke: A Gabrovonian has to mend his door, so he sends his son to the neighbor’s to borrow a hatchet. The child returns empty-handed; the neighbor had lied about not having a hatchet.

“Don’t bother about that miser,” says the father indignantly. “Bring our hatchet up from the cellar.”

Why It's Funny: The city of Gabrovo is a self-declared international comedy capital where the residents are notoriously thrifty.

5. Germany

The Joke: Q: How do you turn a Trabant into a sports car?

A: Put sneakers in the glove compartment!

Why It's Funny: The Trabant was the best-selling car in the former East Germany. The ride is a punchline for its cheapness, due in no small part to its grossly underpowered engine and plastic body.

6. Lebanon 

The Joke: Rural Minister: My son, arak is a person’s worst enemy.

The Drunk: Father, you have always preached that we should love our enemy.

Rural Minister: This is very true, my son, but I have never said you should swallow your enemy.

Why It's Funny: Arak is the Lebanese national liquor, a 100-proof spirit distilled from grapes and green aniseeds. Drink enough of it and this joke’s hilarious.

7. China

The Joke: A chess player who thought highly of his own skill once lost three games in a row. The next day, a friend asked him how the games had turned out.

“I didn’t win the first game,” the chess player replied, “and my opponent didn’t lose the second. As to the third game, I asked him to agree to a draw, but he wouldn’t.”

Why It's Funny: As you might guess, Chinese jokes are fairly straightforward, avoid political topics, and steer clear of depressing subject matter.

8. Burma

The Joke: A Burmese man visits a dentist in India.

The dentist asks him: “Don’t you have dentists in Burma?”

“Yes, we do,” the man replies, “but we’re not allowed to open our mouths.”

Why It's Funny: Until its dissolution in 2011, the military junta that ruled Burma effectively outlawed free speech. Burmese comedian Zarganar spent three years in jail for telling jokes like this one.

9. Sri Lanka

The Joke: A teacher has told her students to write an essay on a cricket match. All are busy writing except Udurawana.

He wrote: “DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!!!”

Why It's Funny: Sri Lankan jokes often feature a dim-witted fellow named Udurawana (no relation to the village of the same name).

10. Australia

The Joke: Q: Why do Australians pee in the bushes at parties?

A: Because there’s always someone chundering in the toilet.

Why It's Funny: Australians so proudly joke about their drinking habits that an entire genre of humor has developed around “chunder”—Aussie slang for vomit.

All photos courtesy of iStock.

12 Strange-But-Real Ice Cream Flavors

ipekata/iStock via Getty Images
ipekata/iStock via Getty Images

I scream, you scream, we all scream for … horse flesh ice cream? Okay, so maybe “we all" don’t. But some people do. A lot of people, in fact. Lobster, foie gras, and ghost pepper, too. Next time you’re craving an ice-cold cone, why not step out of your vanilla/chocolate comfort zone to try one of these 12 strange-but-real ice cream flavors.

1. Horse Flesh

There are two dozen attractions within Tokyo’s indoor amusement park, Namja Town, but it would be easy to spend all of your time there pondering the many out-there flavors at Ice Cream City, where Raw Horse Flesh, Cow Tongue, Salt, Yakisoba, Octopus, and Squid are among the flavors that have tickled (or strangled) visitors' taste buds.

2. Pickled Mango

As one of the country’s most decorated ice cream makers, Jeni Britton Bauer—proprietor of Ohio-based Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams—is constantly pushing the boundaries of unique treats, as evidenced by her lineup of limited edition flavors, including last summer's Pickled Mango (a cream cheese-based ice cream with a slightly spicy mango sauce made of white balsamic vinegar, white pepper, allspice, and clove) and this year's Goat Cheese With Red Cherries.

3. Corn on the Cob

Since opening Max & Mina’s in Queens, New York in 1998, brothers/owners Bruce and Mark Becker have created more than 5000 one-of-a-kind ice cream flavors, many of them adapted from their grandfather’s original recipes. Daily flavor experiments mean that the menu is ever-changing, but Corn on the Cob (a summer favorite), Horseradish, Garlic, Pizza, Lox, and Jalapeño have all made the lineup.

4. Foie Gras

New York City's OddFellows takes the "odd" in its name seriously, and has become synonymous with experimental flavors. Since opening their doors in 2013, they've concocted more than 300 different kinds of the cold stuff—including a Foie Gras varietal.

5. Pear and Blue Cheese

“Salty-sweet” is the preferred palette at Portland, Oregon-based Salt & Straw, where sugar and spice blend together nicely with flavors like Strawberry Honey Balsamic Strawberry With Cracked Pepper and Pear With Blue Cheese, a well-balanced mix of sweet Oregon Trail Bartlett Pears mixed with crumbles of Rogue Creamery's award-winning Crater Lake Blue Cheese. Yum?

6. Ghost Pepper

“Traditional” isn’t the word you’d choose to describe any of the 100 ice cream varieties at The Ice Cream Store in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. They don’t have vanilla, they have African Vanilla or Madagascar Vanilla Bean. But things only get wilder from there, and the shop’s proprietors clearly have a penchant for the spicy stuff. In addition to their Devil's Breath Carolina Reaper Pepper Ice Cream—a bright red vanilla ice cream mixed with cinnamon and a Carolina Reaper pepper mash—there's also the classic Ghost Pepper Ice Cream, which was featured in a Ripley's Believe It or Not book in 2016. Just be warned: you'll have to sign a waiver if you plan to order either flavor.

7. Bourbon and Corn Flake

You never know exactly which flavors will appear as part of the daily-changing lineup at San Francisco’s Humphry Slocombe, but they always make room for the signature Secret Breakfast. Made with bourbon and Corn Flakes, you’d better get there early if you want to try it; it sells out quickly and on a daily basis.

8. Fig and Fresh Brown Turkey

The sweet-toothed scientists at New York City’s Il Laboratorio del Gelato have never met a flavor they didn’t like—or want to turn into an ice cream. How else would one explain the popularity of their Fig & Fresh Brown Turkey gelato, a popular selection among the hundreds flavors they have created thus far. (Beet and Cucumber are just two of their other fascinating flavors.)

9. Lobster

Don’t let the “chocolate” in the title fool you: Ben & Bill’s Chocolate Emporium in Bar Harbor, Maine makes the most of The Pine Tree State’s most famous delicacy with its signature Lobster Ice Cream, a butter ice cream-based treat with fresh (again buttered) lobster folded into each bite.

10. Creole Tomato

The philosophy at New Orleans’ Creole Creamery is simple: “Eat ice cream. Be happy.” What’s not as easy is choosing from among their dozens of rotating ice creams, sorbets, sherbets and ices. But only the most daring of diners might want to swap out a sweet indulgence for something that sounds more like a salad, as it the case with the Creole Tomato.

11. Eskimo Ice Cream

If you happen to find yourself in an ice cream shop in Juneau, remember this: Eskimo ice cream—also known as Akutag—is not the same thing as an Eskimo Pie, that chocolate-covered ice cream bar you’ll find in just about any grocery store. Though the statewide delicacy has usually got enough fresh berries mixed in to satisfy one’s sweet tooth, its base is actually animal fat (reindeer, caribou, possibly even whale).

12. Cheetos

Big Gay Ice Cream started out as an experimental ice cream truck and morphed into one of New York City’s most swoon-worthy ice cream shops, where the toppings make for an inimitable indulgence. One of their most unique culinary inventions? A Cheetos-inspired cone, where vanilla and cheese ice cream is dipped in Cheetos dust.

The Mister Softee Jingle Has Lyrics

Anyone who grew up with a Mister Softee ice cream truck surely remembers what the jingle sounds like. But did you know that the tune, which was written in 1960 by Les Waas, has both a title ("Mister Softee Jingle and Chimes") and lyrics? Here they are:

Here comes Mister Softee
The soft ice cream man.
The creamiest, dreamiest soft ice cream,
You get from Mister Softee.
For a refreshing delight supreme
Look for Mister Softee.

My milkshakes and my sundaes
And my cones are such a treat.
Listen for my store on wheels
Ding-a-ling down the street.
The creamiest dreamiest soft ice cream,
You get from Mister Softee.

You can make it your ringtone here.

This story has been updated for 2019.

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