10 Jokes from Around the World

by Laura Turner Garrison

1. Kenya

The Joke: Your family is so stupid, you give your chickens hot water so they can lay boiled eggs.

Why It's Funny: Mchongoano is a type of joke found in Sheng, a language that originated in Nairobi. Mchongoano is used in dissing battles, comparable to “your mom” slams in the United States.

2. Egypt

The Joke: Q: How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?

A: You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish.

Why It's Funny: Well, it’s not, really, but some sources identify it as one of the oldest jokes in the world.

3. Uruguay 

The Joke: A girl asks an Argentine man for a light. He pats his trousers, chest, and back pockets.

“Sorry,” he says. “I don’t have one, but wow, do I have a great body or what?

Why It's Funny: Argentine men have a reputation for excessive vanity among their fellow South Americans. No one enjoys poking fun at them quite like the neighboring Uruguayans.

4. Bulgaria 

The Joke: A Gabrovonian has to mend his door, so he sends his son to the neighbor’s to borrow a hatchet. The child returns empty-handed; the neighbor had lied about not having a hatchet.

“Don’t bother about that miser,” says the father indignantly. “Bring our hatchet up from the cellar.”

Why It's Funny: The city of Gabrovo is a self-declared international comedy capital where the residents are notoriously thrifty.

5. Germany

The Joke: Q: How do you turn a Trabant into a sports car?

A: Put sneakers in the glove compartment!

Why It's Funny: The Trabant was the best-selling car in the former East Germany. The ride is a punchline for its cheapness, due in no small part to its grossly underpowered engine and plastic body.

6. Lebanon 

The Joke: Rural Minister: My son, arak is a person’s worst enemy.

The Drunk: Father, you have always preached that we should love our enemy.

Rural Minister: This is very true, my son, but I have never said you should swallow your enemy.

Why It's Funny: Arak is the Lebanese national liquor, a 100-proof spirit distilled from grapes and green aniseeds. Drink enough of it and this joke’s hilarious.

7. China

The Joke: A chess player who thought highly of his own skill once lost three games in a row. The next day, a friend asked him how the games had turned out.

“I didn’t win the first game,” the chess player replied, “and my opponent didn’t lose the second. As to the third game, I asked him to agree to a draw, but he wouldn’t.”

Why It's Funny: As you might guess, Chinese jokes are fairly straightforward, avoid political topics, and steer clear of depressing subject matter.

8. Burma

The Joke: A Burmese man visits a dentist in India.

The dentist asks him: “Don’t you have dentists in Burma?”

“Yes, we do,” the man replies, “but we’re not allowed to open our mouths.”

Why It's Funny: Until its dissolution in 2011, the military junta that ruled Burma effectively outlawed free speech. Burmese comedian Zarganar spent three years in jail for telling jokes like this one.

9. Sri Lanka

The Joke: A teacher has told her students to write an essay on a cricket match. All are busy writing except Udurawana.

He wrote: “DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!!!”

Why It's Funny: Sri Lankan jokes often feature a dim-witted fellow named Udurawana (no relation to the village of the same name).

10. Australia

The Joke: Q: Why do Australians pee in the bushes at parties?

A: Because there’s always someone chundering in the toilet.

Why It's Funny: Australians so proudly joke about their drinking habits that an entire genre of humor has developed around “chunder”—Aussie slang for vomit.

All photos courtesy of iStock.

Now You Can Wear Your Favorite Dunkin' Coffee Flavor as Nail Polish

Dunkin'
Dunkin'

Dunkin'—the coffee chain formerly known as Dunkin' Donuts—is getting into the beauty business. For a limited time, nail polish inspired by Dunkin's flavored coffees will be available at select nail salons across the country.

The nail polish line includes eight freshly brewed shades. Three pay homage to Dunkin's new signature lattes—cocoa mocha, caramel craze, and blueberry crisp—and three are inspired by the seasonal Baskin-Robbins ice cream-flavored coffees: butter pecan, pistachio almond fudge, and banana split. Nail polishes in Dunkin's iconic pink and orange color palette are also available.

The collection is a collaboration between Dunkin' and the vegan-friendly nail polish company Lauren B. Beauty. While supplies last, the products will be available at certain nail salons in 10 cities where Dunkin' operates, including Los Angeles, Chicago, Atlanta, and Boston. Each purchase of the branded nail polish comes with a $3 Dunkin' gift card. To see if a salon in your area is participating, check out the map below.

Dunkin' isn't the first fast food chain to release its own nail polish line. In 2016, KFC released edible "finger-licking" nail polish that, yes, tasted like chicken.

Australian Family Walking Dog Named Lucky Discovers $24,000 Gold Nugget

iStock.com/scyther5
iStock.com/scyther5

An Australian dog named Lucky has lived up to his name. As the Bendigo Advertiser reports, a family from Bendigo in Victoria were walking their pet on May 12 when they literally stumbled upon a hunk of rock resembling gold on the ground. Experts have confirmed that the 20-ounce nugget is indeed gold, and in its intact state it's worth an estimated $24,000.

A father and his two daughters—who wish to remain anonymous—were taking their dog Lucky for a morning walk when one of the girls hit something with her foot. She noticed it wasn't an ordinary rock, and asked her Dad if it might be gold. He suspected it was and took their find to a nearby supermarket to weigh it on the deli scale.

Weighing over a pound, the gold nugget could earn the family a small fortune if they wish to sell it. The father says he does plan to find a buyer eventually; he had been struggling financially, and he told the Bendigo Advertiser the lucky event "couldn't be better timing."

The family has decided to keep the location of the discovery a secret. They plan to go for more walks in the area in hopes of striking gold twice.

[h/t Bendigo Advertiser]

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