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15 Old Computer Sounds That Will Take You Right Back

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YouTube / SataiDelenn

Those of us who were really hip in the '90s got online, usually via a dialup modem (or your college's awesome network...if you could afford a network card). There were distinct sounds associated with computers of that time that we don't think about today, but they're lodged deep in our memories. Let's go back to some computer sounds you probably haven't heard in decades.

1. 56K MODEM CONNECTING

Modem connection sounds varied based on speed, modem brand, the quality of the connection, and so on. But today, the 56k modem (the pinnacle of modem technology in the '90s) is the best-remembered "modem screech." My friend's mom called this sound "wirescream," which sounds accurate to me. So here's a 56k modem dialing and connecting (illustrated with a little guy acting as the modem):

2. 3.5" FLOPPY DRIVE SOUND

If you ever installed software or copied a lot of files, you heard this.

3. "YOU'VE GOT MAIL" (AOL)

Sound courtesy of: AOL SoundBoard.

Aside from being a romantic comedy (ancient, Flash-using, 1998 website here), the "You've got mail" sound was familiar to all AOL users. It was voiced by Elwood Edwards, recorded on a cassette deck in his living room. (These days, Edwards drives for Uber in Ohio.)

4. WINDOWS 3.1 STARTUP SOUND

Sound courtesy of WinHistory.

Tada! Just one second long. Because back in my day, we couldn't afford the disk space for fancier sounds.

5. WINDOWS 95 STARTUP SOUND

Microsoft commissioned musician/producer Brian Eno to create the Windows 95 startup sound. The result is a masterpiece.

6. MAC STARTUP/CRASH SOUNDS

If you had a Mac in the '90s, you'd hear a startup chime, and hopefully you didn't hear the crash sound too often (we used to call it "MacDeath" at my high school). It's surprising how different the startup sounds were, especially the AV model Macs (which had special audio/video hardware, hence the fancy sound):

7. ICQ MESSAGE SOUND

Sound courtesy of WavThis.

ICQ was a chat application that I used a lot in college in the late 90s. You'd hear this "Uh-oh!" for new messages.

8. WINDOWS 98 (SE) STARTUP SOUND

Sound courtesy of WinHistory.

This is smooth, but I still prefer the Windows 95 startup sound. It's just a classic.

9. QSOUND DEMO

QSound was a 3D-like effect that was used in games and sound production in tons of '90s stuff (for instance, Madonna's Immaculate Collection was "mixed in QSound"). Here's a demo video showing various places QSound showed up—it sounds best with headphones.

10. THE HAMPSTER DANCE [SIC]

This is best experienced on an archive of the original Hampster Dance website. But if your browser doesn't like that site, the video below is a loose approximation of the late-'90s phenomenon known as Hampster Dance. Let the gates of memory open.

(And yes, the spelling "Hampster" is intentionally incorrect.)

11. DOT MATRIX PRINTER

If you had a hand-me-down printer in the 90s (or you needed a receipt printed on carbon paper), this is what it sounded like...if you were lucky! My family's original dot matrix printer sounded like a malfunctioning robot on a murder spree.

12. A 1993 PC AND INKJET PRINTER STARTING UP

I've reported on this before. Listen for the POST (Power On Self Test) beep, the chittering of the hard drive, then the horrific clunking noises of the Epson Stylus 440. If you're wondering how a 1993 computer is running Windows 95, it's because this computer is still running today!

13. AOL INSTANT MESSENGER (AIM) BUDDY SOUNDS

When your AIM buddies signed on, a door opened:

When they signed off, the door closed (so sad):

Sounds courtesy of: AOL SoundBoard.

14. FLYING TOASTERS SCREENSAVER

After Dark offered some of the best screensavers around. "Flying Toasters" was my favorite, and it had an optional score, complete with lyrics at the bottom.

For more, see 10 Screensavers of Yore.

15. GOODBYE (AOL)

Sound courtesy of: AOL SoundBoard.

As it was and ever shall be. Goodbye, AOL.

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iStock // Ekaterina Minaeva
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Man Buys Two Metric Tons of LEGO Bricks; Sorts Them Via Machine Learning
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iStock // Ekaterina Minaeva

Jacques Mattheij made a small, but awesome, mistake. He went on eBay one evening and bid on a bunch of bulk LEGO brick auctions, then went to sleep. Upon waking, he discovered that he was the high bidder on many, and was now the proud owner of two tons of LEGO bricks. (This is about 4400 pounds.) He wrote, "[L]esson 1: if you win almost all bids you are bidding too high."

Mattheij had noticed that bulk, unsorted bricks sell for something like €10/kilogram, whereas sets are roughly €40/kg and rare parts go for up to €100/kg. Much of the value of the bricks is in their sorting. If he could reduce the entropy of these bins of unsorted bricks, he could make a tidy profit. While many people do this work by hand, the problem is enormous—just the kind of challenge for a computer. Mattheij writes:

There are 38000+ shapes and there are 100+ possible shades of color (you can roughly tell how old someone is by asking them what lego colors they remember from their youth).

In the following months, Mattheij built a proof-of-concept sorting system using, of course, LEGO. He broke the problem down into a series of sub-problems (including "feeding LEGO reliably from a hopper is surprisingly hard," one of those facts of nature that will stymie even the best system design). After tinkering with the prototype at length, he expanded the system to a surprisingly complex system of conveyer belts (powered by a home treadmill), various pieces of cabinetry, and "copious quantities of crazy glue."

Here's a video showing the current system running at low speed:

The key part of the system was running the bricks past a camera paired with a computer running a neural net-based image classifier. That allows the computer (when sufficiently trained on brick images) to recognize bricks and thus categorize them by color, shape, or other parameters. Remember that as bricks pass by, they can be in any orientation, can be dirty, can even be stuck to other pieces. So having a flexible software system is key to recognizing—in a fraction of a second—what a given brick is, in order to sort it out. When a match is found, a jet of compressed air pops the piece off the conveyer belt and into a waiting bin.

After much experimentation, Mattheij rewrote the software (several times in fact) to accomplish a variety of basic tasks. At its core, the system takes images from a webcam and feeds them to a neural network to do the classification. Of course, the neural net needs to be "trained" by showing it lots of images, and telling it what those images represent. Mattheij's breakthrough was allowing the machine to effectively train itself, with guidance: Running pieces through allows the system to take its own photos, make a guess, and build on that guess. As long as Mattheij corrects the incorrect guesses, he ends up with a decent (and self-reinforcing) corpus of training data. As the machine continues running, it can rack up more training, allowing it to recognize a broad variety of pieces on the fly.

Here's another video, focusing on how the pieces move on conveyer belts (running at slow speed so puny humans can follow). You can also see the air jets in action:

In an email interview, Mattheij told Mental Floss that the system currently sorts LEGO bricks into more than 50 categories. It can also be run in a color-sorting mode to bin the parts across 12 color groups. (Thus at present you'd likely do a two-pass sort on the bricks: once for shape, then a separate pass for color.) He continues to refine the system, with a focus on making its recognition abilities faster. At some point down the line, he plans to make the software portion open source. You're on your own as far as building conveyer belts, bins, and so forth.

Check out Mattheij's writeup in two parts for more information. It starts with an overview of the story, followed up with a deep dive on the software. He's also tweeting about the project (among other things). And if you look around a bit, you'll find bulk LEGO brick auctions online—it's definitely a thing!

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Here's How to Change Your Name on Facebook
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Whether you want to change your legal name, adopt a new nickname, or simply reinvent your online persona, it's helpful to know the process of resetting your name on Facebook. The social media site isn't a fan of fake accounts, and as a result changing your name is a little more complicated than updating your profile picture or relationship status. Luckily, Daily Dot laid out the steps.

Start by going to the blue bar at the top of the page in desktop view and clicking the down arrow to the far right. From here, go to Settings. This should take you to the General Account Settings page. Find your name as it appears on your profile and click the Edit link to the right of it. Now, you can input your preferred first and last name, and if you’d like, your middle name.

The steps are similar in Facebook mobile. To find Settings, tap the More option in the bottom right corner. Go to Account Settings, then General, then hit your name to change it.

Whatever you type should adhere to Facebook's guidelines, which prohibit symbols, numbers, unusual capitalization, and honorifics like Mr., Ms., and Dr. Before landing on a name, make sure you’re ready to commit to it: Facebook won’t let you update it again for 60 days. If you aren’t happy with these restrictions, adding a secondary name or a name pronunciation might better suit your needs. You can do this by going to the Details About You heading under the About page of your profile.

[h/t Daily Dot]

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