10 Funnier Alternatives to Lorem Ipsum

Photograph by Flickr user Blake Burkhart.

“Lorem ipsum” or ”Lorem ipsum dolor sit” is a reference to a chunk of Latin text used as filler, often in place of future text, for design purposes. It’s called that because those are the first words. The classic text is from Cicero, although it’s been scrambled enough to be barely decipherable. Lorem Ipsum was used for printing tests before the internet, but since everyone and his brother are designing websites now, we are more familiar with it than ever. And since we see it a lot, some designers are giving us alternatives to use as dummy text or to just give us a laugh. Let’s check out a few of them.

1. Riker Ipsum

Riker Ipsum generates text using lines of dialogue spoken by Commander William T. Riker in the TV series Star Trek: The Next Generation. Need more text? Hit the “more” button to add another sentence. They will be in no particular order.

I recommend you don't fire until you're within 40,000 kilometers. You did exactly what you had to do. You considered all your options, you tried every alternative and then you made the hard choice. Your head is not an artifact! I'm afraid I still don't understand, sir. You enjoyed that. Some days you get the bear, and some days the bear gets you. Wouldn't that bring about chaos? Fate. It protects fools, little children, and ships named "Enterprise." Mr. Worf, you do remember how to fire phasers? I am your worst nightmare! What? We're not at all alike! A lot of things can change in twelve years, Admiral. The look in your eyes, I recognize it. You used to have it for me.

2. Yorkshire Ipsum

Photograph by Gpmg.

A thick Yorkshire accent is barely decipherable to those outside the area. Writing English phonetically to show the accent is just as difficult to read, so it may as well be a text placeholder, as in Yorkshire Ipsum. Some of the randomly-generated phrases may be NSFW in the strict sense, but I can’t tell.

Where's tha bin. Will 'e 'eckerslike mardy bum bobbar. Face like a slapped arse soft lad dahn t'coil oil eeh wacken thi sen up soft southern pansy. Bobbar michael palin ah'll gi' thee a thick ear ne'ermind aye. Breadcake soft southern pansy tha daft apeth. Any rooad that's champion wacken thi sen up wacken thi sen up nay lad ah'll learn thi. God's own county nah then ne'ermind will 'e 'eckerslike ee by gum. Eeh appens as maybe appens as maybe ne'ermind. Th'art nesh thee is that thine be reet ee by gum. Sup wi' 'im shurrup.

3. Samuel L Ipsum

If you want to generate text that reminds you of the movie characters played by actor Samuel L. Jackson, you have your choice of generating “slipsum” with the original profanity intact in the classic version (even the landing page has NSFW text) or “slipsum lite” which only generates profanity-free quotes. The quotes are not censored, just chosen for content. It’s not even gibberish, but rants delivered by Samuel L. Jackson characters, in complete paragraphs.

Do you see any Teletubbies in here? Do you see a slender plastic tag clipped to my shirt with my name printed on it? Do you see a little Asian child with a blank expression on his face sitting outside on a mechanical helicopter that shakes when you put quarters in it? No? Well, that's what you see at a toy store. And you must think you're in a toy store, because you're here shopping for an infant named Jeb.

4. Bacon Ipsum

Photograph by Flickr user Michael Cannon.

Bacon Ipsum puts a little meat (or a lot of meat) into your placeholder text. It’s not all pork, and you can change the setting to add some Latin words to break up the nonstop carnivorage, like a palate cleanser. Warning: may cause hunger.

Chuck swine jowl ham frankfurter. Chicken salami t-bone kevin chuck ribeye pork loin pancetta leberkas short ribs jowl frankfurter andouille. Hamburger ball tip ribeye beef ribs rump t-bone shankle meatloaf sirloin kevin pork loin. Alcatra chicken sausage pork loin. Tail corned beef cupim ball tip. Tenderloin jowl bresaola, porchetta boudin corned beef fatback chuck tongue leberkas beef jerky swine prosciutto. Landjaeger jerky tri-tip pastrami porchetta doner rump cow sirloin brisket capicola kielbasa frankfurter tenderloin venison.

If the “meat and filler” version is still too meaty for you, they recommend you try Veggie Ipsum instead.

5. Cat Ipsum

Peter Tracy has a webcomic called Life Loosely Based. He also made a text generator called Cat Ipsum that generates cat-related gibberish made up of phrases any cat owner can relate to.

Pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space chase ball of string chew foot, and poop on grasses. Why must they do that flop over. Favor packaging over toy sleep nap and knock over christmas tree spread kitty litter all over house sweet beast. Use lap as chair give attitude poop on grasses sleep nap. Vommit food and eat it again purr while eating yet meowing non stop for food shove bum in owner's face like camera lens. Intently stare at the same spot stand in front of the computer screen purr for no reason stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust so present belly, scratch hand when stroked. Intrigued by the shower have secret plans. Sweet beast find something else more interesting, or stare at ceiling. Leave dead animals as gifts find something else more interesting. Lick butt. Sleep in the bathroom sink why must they do that. Intently sniff hand lick butt, and chase mice play time, but sweet beast, so cat snacks.

6. Cupcake Ipsum

Cupcake Ipsum is liable to cause cravings, or else cause you to go into sugar shock! Have a taste:

Gingerbread cake jelly pudding jelly beans. Fruitcake gingerbread wafer wafer gingerbread apple pie marshmallow. Biscuit jelly cookie dragée brownie dessert carrot cake macaroon bonbon. Unerdwear.com liquorice marshmallow fruitcake caramels dessert gingerbread. Cupcake caramels biscuit macaroon. Cookie fruitcake chocolate bar donut bonbon tiramisu cake croissant. Pastry gingerbread pastry danish halvah sweet muffin jelly. Macaroon cake icing halvah marshmallow applicake. Jelly-o cupcake lemon drops applicake macaroon donut.

7. Online Dating Ipsum

Photograph from Getty Images.

Designer Lauren Hallden developed the Online Dating Ipsum to generate the “word salad” that she says populates online dating profiles. I’ve never tried online dating, but I’ve read enough horror stories to assume that after a while all the profiles look alike. Something like this:

Introvert jazz cafes having a few beers self-deprecating humor. Degree in philosophy Vampire Weekend introvert self-deprecating humor really hoppy beers, grilling tacos really hoppy beers medical school I'm looking for. Family is very important to me bikes trying this for the first time Breaking Bad I'm really good at bored at home.

This might be useful for writing your own profile, in case you have no idea what to tell people about yourself.

8. Lorem Gibson

Photograph by David Alliet.

Lorem Gibson is a website filler text generator based on the works of contemporary novelist William Gibson. The generator has dispensed with mere verbs and connective words and focuses on nouns. For example:

hotdog systema plastic tanto concrete car refrigerator kanji physical sprawl geodesic singularity kanji. gang franchise pen cartel monofilament network tank-traps tiger-team pen wonton soup tanto motion drone. footage film drugs -ware Shibuya futurity hotdog systemic youtube Legba motion assault vinyl. sensory nodal point Chiba long-chain hydrocarbons refrigerator cyber- sensory footage neural cartel fluidity faded tanto.

9. Hipster Ipsum

Photograph by Christopher Michel.

Hipster Ipsum can also be called “hipsum.” Feel free to grab some of these words the next time you want to add more snide terms to a rant against hipsters.

Occupy McSweeney's roof party biodiesel letterpress asymmetrical. Sustainable brunch pug, put a bird on it tilde lumbersexual gluten-free banh mi chambray mumblecore pickled. Yr retro hashtag, pork belly drinking vinegar Blue Bottle disrupt butcher. Health goth small batch plaid vegan. Twee gluten-free sustainable wayfarers VHS. Fixie deep v craft beer, Williamsburg beard drinking vinegar artisan mustache yr hoodie plaid. Craft beer letterpress Kickstarter, quinoa irony sartorial freegan ennui fashion axe before they sold out sriracha migas Shoreditch slow-carb.

10. Hodor Ipsum

We don’t know the real name of the character known as Hodor from the TV series Game of Thrones, because he’s never told us what it is. Unless it’s Hodor, because that’s the only thing he says. So they call him Hodor. You can guess what you’ll get with the Hodor Ipsum generator.

Hodor. Hodor HODOR hodor, hodor hodor, hodor. Hodor hodor hodor hodor?! Hodor, hodor. Hodor. Hodor, HODOR hodor, hodor hodor; hodor hodor hodor, hodor. Hodor hodor, hodor, hodor hodor. Hodor. Hodor hodor... Hodor hodor hodor hodor! Hodor. Hodor hodor hodor - hodor, hodor, hodor hodor. Hodor. Hodor hodor hodor hodor hodor - hodor? Hodor HODOR hodor, hodor hodor hodor hodor?! Hodor. Hodor hodor... Hodor hodor hodor?

You don’t really need this generator, because if you type “Hodor” into Google Search, they will generate it for you.

Study this gibberish, and you may become as good at using it as Eric Idle of Monty Python, although it’s more likely that you’d want to use your generated text for cue cards.

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8 Surprising Uses for Peeps
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You can eat marshmallow Peeps, and you can put them in someone's Easter basket. But that's just the beginning of what you can do with those small blobs of sugary goodness. Branch out and use your Peeps in new ways this year.

1. S'MORES

Peeps are marshmallows, and can be toasted over a campfire just like their plain, non-sugar-coated brothers—which means you can make classic S'mores out of them. Best of all: You don't even need a campfire to do it. Serious Eats has a recipe for them that they call S'meeps, which only requires that you pop them in the oven for a short time. If you're a Peeps purist, forget the graham crackers and chocolate and enjoy the unique taste of campfire-toasted Peeps all by themselves.

2. WREATHS

Vanessa Brady at Tried & True has made several Peeps wreaths that are sure to inspire you to do the same. (She even has a tutorial to get you started.)

3. PEEPS-KABOBS

If you want to trick a kid into eating a fruit salad, just serve it up on a stick—with a marshmallow Peep in the middle. Blogger Melodramatic Mom made these for an irresistible after-school snack for her kids.

4. ART SUPPLIES

With their consistent shape and size, and variety of bright colors, Peeps can be used as pixels for larger artworks. Ang Taylor made this Mario jumping a Piranha Plant out of marshmallow chicks and bunnies. To be honest, there are many ways Peeps can be used as an art medium, as we've seen many times before (like in this collection of Peeps dioramas).

5. CAKE TOPPERS

Peeps chicks and bunnies are ready-made decorations that will easily stick to cake frosting and make for desserts that are both seasonal and colorful. If you need a recipe, check out this one for a Marbled Cake with Peeps and M&Ms. See some more cake decorating tips here.

6. PEEPS POPS

There's no danger of misshapen cake pops or drippy lollipops when you start with a Peep on a stick. Michelle from Sugar Swings made these candy pops out of marshmallow Peeps, and using Peeps left her plenty of time to decorate them as Star Wars characters. Michelle has plenty of other Peeps pops ideas you can try out, too.

7. PEEPS KRISPIES TREATS

We've seen that Peeps can be substituted for marshmallows in recipes, but remember that Peeps come in a variety of colors and can be bought in small batches. That makes them really useful for coloring separate portions of your Rice Krispies treat recipe. Kristen at Yellowblissroad has a recipe for Layered Peeps Crispy Treats, and a video of the process at Facebook.

8. DIORAMAS

Using Peeps as characters in a diorama, where you can let your imagination run wild, has become somewhat of an Easter tradition. Kate Ramsayer, Helen Fields, and Joanna Church put their heads together to recreate the Broadway musical Hamilton in marshmallow with a diorama that featured the lyrics to the show's opening number.

While The Washington Post has suspended its annual Peeps Diorama Contest after 10 years, other newspapers—including the Twin Cities Pioneer Press and the Washington City Paper—plus local libraries across the country are carrying on the tradition and holding Peeps diorama contests. But you don't have to enter a contest to have fun making a scene with your family.

This piece originally ran in 2017.

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The Bloody Benders, America's First Serial Killer Family
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In 1870, a group of new families moved to the wind-ravaged plains near what would become Cherryvale, Kansas. They were Spiritualists, a religion that was foreign to the homesteaders already in the new state, but locals tended to accept newcomers without asking too many questions. Two of the families moved away within a year, discouraged by the difficult conditions, and the others kept to themselves. But the Benders were different.

At first, they appeared be a normal family. John Bender, Sr., and his troupe settled near the Great Osage Trail (later known as the Santa Fe Trail) over which innumerable travelers passed on their way to the West. The older Bender, called "Pa," made a claim for 160 acres in what is now Labette County. His son John (sometimes called Thomas) claimed a smaller parcel that adjoined Pa's land, but never lived on or worked it. The Benders also included "Ma" and a daughter named Kate, who advertised herself as Spiritualist medium and healer. Ma and Pa reportedly mostly spoke German, although the younger Benders spoke fluent English.

The group soon built a one-room home equipped with a canvas curtain that divided the space into two areas. The front was a public inn and store, and the family quarters were in the back. Travelers on the trail were welcome to refresh themselves with a meal and resupply their wagons with liquor, tobacco, horse feed, gunpowder, and food. Kate, who was reportedly attractive and outgoing, also drew customers to the inn with her supposed psychic and healing abilities. These men, who usually traveled alone, often spent the night.

The trail was a dangerous place, and there were many reasons for travelers to go missing on their way out West—bandits, accidents, conflicts with Native Americans, disease. But over the course of several years, more and more people went missing around the time they passed through Labette County. It usually took time for such disappearances to draw attention—mail and news traveled slowly—but that all changed in March 1873 after a well-known physician from Independence, Kansas, named Dr. William York seemingly disappeared after getting off the train at Cherryvale. Dr. York had two powerful brothers who were determined to find out what happened to him: Colonel Edward York and Kansas Senator Alexander York.

Colonel York led an investigation in Labette County. When questioned, the Benders denied all knowledge of York's disappearance, although Ma Bender "flew into a violent passion," in the words of The Weekly Kansas Chief, when asked about a report of a woman who had been threatened with pistols and knives at their inn. Ma defended herself by claiming that the visitor had been a witch, a "bad and wicked woman, whom she would kill if ever she came near them again.”

Around the same time, the township held a meeting at the Harmony Grove schoolhouse; both male Benders were in attendance. The townsfolk decided to search every homestead for evidence of the missing—but the weather turned bad, and it was several days before a search could begin.

Eventually, a neighbor noticed starving farm animals wandering the Bender property. When he investigated the inn, he found it empty: The Benders had fled. The volunteers who later arrived for the search noted that the Benders' wagon was gone; little else had been taken from the home besides food and clothing.

Though the house was empty, all else seemed normal—until someone opened a trap door in the floor. What they found beneath it was chilling.

The trap door, located behind the curtain in the Benders' private quarters, led to a foul-smelling cellar, which was drenched with blood. Horrified, the group lifted up the cabin from its foundations and dug into the ground, yet found nothing. The investigation then turned to the garden, which was freshly plowed; neighbors recalled that the garden always seemed freshly plowed.

Working through the night, the volunteers first unearthed York's body. The back of his head had been smashed, and his throat slit. Soon, they found more bodies with similar injuries. Accounts differ about the number of bodies excavated from the site, but totals hover around a dozen. In all, the Benders may have committed as many as 21 murders. Their terrible work garnered the family only a few thousand dollars and some livestock.

Investigators later pieced together the group's modus operandi. It's believed that guests at the inn were urged to sit against the separating curtain, and while dining, would be hit on the head with a hammer from behind the curtain. Their body was then dropped into the trap door to the cellar, where one of the Benders slit their unfortunate victim's throat before stripping the body of its valuables.

One man, a Mr. Wetzell, heard this theory and remembered a time when he had been at the inn and declined to sit in the designated spot near the curtain. His decision had caused Ma Bender to become angry and abusive toward him, and when he saw the male Benders emerge from behind the cloth, he and his companion decided to leave. A traveler named William Pickering told an almost identical story.

The crimes created a sensation in the newspapers, drawing journalists and curiosity-seekers from all over the country. "Altogether the murders are without a parallel," read an account reprinted in The Chicago Tribune. The Minneapolis Star-Tribune reported over 3000 people at the crime scene, with more trains arriving. A book published in Philadelphia soon after the murders were discovered, The Five Fiends, or, The Bender Hotel Horror in Kansas, described how "large numbers of people arrived upon the scene, who had heard of the ... diabolical acts of bloody murder and rapacious robbery. Hardened men were moved to tears." The house in which the murders took place was disassembled and carried away piece by piece by souvenir seekers.

1873 stereographic photo of the excavated grave of a victim of the Bender murders
An 1873 photo of the excavated grave of a victim of the Bender murders

Senator York offered a $1000 reward for the Benders, and the governor chipped in another $2000, but the reward was never claimed. In the years following the sensational crimes, several women were arrested as Ma or Kate, but none were positively identified. A number of vigilante groups claimed to have found the Benders and murdered them, but none brought back proof. The older Benders were allegedly seen on their way to St. Louis by way of Kansas City, and the younger Benders were supposedly seen heading to an outlaw colony on the border of Texas and New Mexico, but no one knows what ultimately became of them.

Investigators were likely hampered by the group’s deceit: None of the Benders were actually named Bender, and the only members who were likely related were Ma and her daughter Kate. "Pa" was reportedly born John Flickinger in the early 1800s in either Germany or the Netherlands. "Ma" is said to have been born Almira Meik, and her first husband named Griffith, with whom she had 12 children. Ma was married several times before marrying Pa, but each husband before him reportedly died of head wounds. Her daughter Kate was born Eliza Griffith. John Bender, Jr.'s real name was John Gebhardt, and many who knew them in Kansas said he was Kate's husband, not her brother.

Today, nothing remains to indicate the exact location where the Bender house stood, although there is a historical marker at a nearby rest area. Though rumors still surround the case—some say Ma murdered Pa over stolen property soon after they fled, others that Pa committed suicide in Lake Michigan in 1884—after 140 years, we will probably never know what really happened to the Bloody Benders.

A version of this story originally ran in 2013.

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