Wikimedia Commons
Wikimedia Commons

Elvis Presley's Bizarre Album of Stage Banter

Wikimedia Commons
Wikimedia Commons

In 1974, Elvis Presley released Having Fun With Elvis on Stage, an album consisting of over thirty minutes of haphazardly compiled banter from his concerts. It includes no songs and it is completely devoid of context. Save for maybe one brief section, there are no insights into Presley's life. What's included is so incoherent, you don't really get an idea of his stage presence, despite the fact that all the audio comes from his shows.

The album was the brainchild of Elvis's manager, Colonel Tom Parker. Parker created a company called Boxcar to manage Presley's commercial rights (while securing the majority of profits for himself), with an eye to eventually turn it into a full-blown record company. Because of Elvis's deal with RCA, Boxcar could not release a normal Elvis record with music. Instead, Parker had to go around this by selling an album that was just his client speaking. Having Fun With Elvis on Stage was the only LP Boxcar ever put out, and it's roundly considered to be one of the worst albums of all time.

Surely there must be some redeeming qualities to this artifact. It has to at least be fun—it's right there in the title! Colonel Parker wouldn't lie to consumers. Maybe all the album's critics were squares who weren't hep to this avant-garde collage of found and pop art. I listened to Having Fun With Elvis on Stage and broke it into 34 different tracks based on where Colonel Tom seems to have edited in a new clip from a new concert (it's presented as two long tracks with no breaks). By doing this, I hope to determine just how much fun you can have with Elvis, on stage.

1. 0:00-1:18
The album starts off in medias res, with Elvis humming and saying, "Here we go again, man." He continues, “Before the evening is over, I will have made a complete and total fool of myself. And I hope you get a kick out of watching it.” He then growls and says "Whaa whaa whaa" before singing, "Well...well, well well" as if he's about to go into a song. There is no song.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: It's early, so we're having a little bit of fun with Elvis. He seems relaxed, which is nice.

2. 1:19-2:27
The sound quality of the second section drops off considerably, and it seems as if we are magically transported to the end of one of Elvis's concerts. “They don’t like for us to stay on too long," he says, and the audience boos. "Wait a minute! They don't like for us to stay on for more than 55 minutes to an hour...But we don't care what they like!" The crowd goes absolutely bonkers. This is legitimately fun.

With the audience worked into a lather, Elvis goes, "I'd like to sing a little 'Love Me Tender' for you." Instead of singing, he starts squeaking directly into the microphone. I think the joke was supposed to be, "I'd like to sing a little 'Love Me Tender' for you quickly," with the squeaking mimicking a sped-up audio recording, but he forgot to say "quickly." The crowd laughs politely.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: He's a little all over the place here, but we're having fun.

3. 2:28-3:08
Elvis slowly and quietly sings, "You ain't nothing but an...aardvark." He then lists a few more animals, some of which sound made up.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: Not too much here, to be honest.

4. 3:09-7:40
Elvis seems to be genuinely shocked by microphone feedback and asks, “What was that?” He then starts negotiating with a woman in the audience about flowers. “What is that honey? An orchid? You want the blue one?” He gives another woman a scarf for her birthday. “Here’s the towel," he says, "Here’s the scarf, here’s the kiss." Crowd goes wild.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: Sounds like we're having some fun, yeah.

5. 7:41-8:00
Not much goes on here. The audience is screaming some stuff and Elvis meekly goes, "Mmkay."

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: None.

6. 8:01-11:55
This is a great part of the album. "I want to tell you about how I started," Elvis says, before diving into the story of how he was driving a truck and studying to be an electrician when he went into a record store to cut an album. “They arranged to put me on television,” he says, listing Jackie Gleason, Ed Sullivan, and Steve Allen. He tells a funny story about having to sing to a dog on the Steve Allen Show and how they refused to show him beneath his waist (Elvis, not the dog). Here's a video of that performance.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: Not only do we have fun, but we also learn something.

7. 11:56-12:19
"I’d like to do a medley of some of my biggest records for you." There is no medley.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: There is no fun to be had here.

8. 12:20-14:09
"I want to sing a lot of songs and walk around and sweat," he says, which makes the audience lose their minds. He seems to be in Kansas City, because he says he's from "Memphis, Missouri," and then repeats the joke, but tells them it's "Memphis, Kansas."

How much fun do have with Elvis?: Some fun. If you are from either Missouri or Kansas it's probably more fun, though.

9. 14:10-14:36
Elvis says, "I'd like you to listen to our bass singer. He goes down to an E, below low flat, whatever that is. Low Flat, I ain't never heard of that. You ever heard of that, Ronnie?" We don't hear his bass singer.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: This is getting un-fun.

10. 14:37-15:43
“I’m the NBC peacock," he says. He then starts crooning “well well well wells” again. This will not be the last we hear of his "well well wells." There's some crazy drumming and crowd laughter, and Elvis says, “You shouldn’t laugh at us handicapped folk." Sounds like there's some physical comedy going on that's lost on the listeners at home.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: Eh.

11. 15:44-17:12
In this section, Elvis talks a lot about drinking water and the importance of staying hydrated. He even warns the audience that he may be taking frequent breaks to drink his glass of water.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: Not "fun," per se, but his advice about hydration is important.

12. 17:13-17:46
This section of the album features some genuinely terrifying screaming from the audience. “It’s getting a little wild in here, boy,” Elvis says, before laughing maniacally. He then says he's about introduce the members of the crew, but Colonel Parker, "on the piano," is the only person to get mentioned before it cuts away.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: This part is a little frightening.

13. 17:47-18:25
He hums and sings, “well…” some more before announcing, "That’s all folks!" Side A ends here.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: Zero.

14. 18:26-20:34
Side B starts much like Side A ends, with Elvis singing, “Well well well well.” He then makes a joke about his "fruit of the loom” being too tight, which earns wild laughter. There's more drumming, like from before, which means he must be doing some physical comedy again. He sings a few more “well well wells” before, confusingly, announcing “That’s it folks" and ending a concert at the very beginning of Side B.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: More than we have had in a while, but the "well well wells" are getting tiresome.

15. 20:35-21:29
A whole bunch more "well well wells." A woman says something from the crowd, to which Elvis replies, “After the show, honey...let me get another ‘well’ out.” He's become very self-aware of all his repeated use of the word "well."

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: Side B is not too fun so far.

16. 21:30-22:06
“I’d like to walk around for a second, get my breath back," Elvis says. He then talks with four women, raising his voice to imitate them.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: Some? Honestly, this is all starting to wear on me.

17. 22:07-22:42
Elvis asks the audience to listen to his bass singer again, and again we don't hear him.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: He imitates a B-52 bomber here, which is fun-ish.

18. 22:43-23:24
Here, Elvis struggles with his belt and mentions that it's Father’s Day before introducing the audience to his father. “He’s more of a ham than I am.”

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: This was sweet, which will have to count for fun.

19. 23:25-23:40
He talks about how great the audience is.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: A little pandering, but we're starting to have some fun again.

20. 23:41-24:25
He's in Louisiana and mentions that he's got a tiger next to him (must be buttering up the LSU fans in attendance). A woman screams that she loves him, and Elvis goes, "Oh I love you honey but I gotta sing this song.” Once again, there is no song.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: A little.

21. 24:25-26:47
"People've thought for a long time that’s something I do to be sexy,” he says. We don't know what he's doing because we can't see it.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: Who knows? We can't see it.

22. 26:48-28:49
Here he goes with the "wells" again. “Honey, what are you screaming for? I’ve just sung 'well'...If that’s all I gotta do, I’ve got it made." Great, no sign of the wells stopping any time soon.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: Well...

23. 28:50-30:32
“We haven’t played this place before, but you’re really a fantastic audience...“You wanna hear ‘Don’t Be Cruel'? Alright.” We don't hear "Don't Be Cruel."

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: Don't be cruel.

24. 30:33-31:16
“This next song is a song I recorded when I first started singing, about two years ago [pause for laughter]. My scarves’ got fuzz on it.”

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: No fun.

25. 31:17-32:34
Elvis gets so into his "wells" that he loses track. "Where was I?” he asks, and someone in the band goes, “WELL WELL WELL WELL.” “Appreciate it," Elvis replies, "I was wellin’.” Yes you were.

How much fun do we have with Elvis?: We haven't had fun in a while. For the rest of the album, I will just pick out choice quotes from each section.

26. 32:35-32:50
"I'd like to tell you that the last time we were here, we had a fantastic time, but this time it's much better, really."

27. 32:51-33:00
"This next song is one of my first records." [No song]

28. 33:01-34:01
“No rose, no scarf, baby.”

29. 34:02-34:37
“Hello Memphis. It’s a pleasure to be home here." [Continues to paraphrase Thomas Wolfe]

30. 34:38-35:08
"Thanks for the flowers and the little bear."

31. 35:09-35:30
“That won’t play." [Regarding a gold record someone has handed him]

32. 35:31-36:28
“It’s been a pleasure laughing with you”

33. 36:29-36:50
"You know what I can't do? Get my belt tightened."

34. 36:51-37:38

Samir Hussein, Getty Images
One of Michael Jackson's 'Billie Jean' Gloves Can Be Yours (For the Right Price)
Samir Hussein, Getty Images
Samir Hussein, Getty Images

Three things usually come to mind when people recall Michael Jackson's stratospheric fame in the 1980s: His music videos were events unto themselves; he toted around a chimp named Bubbles (who once bit Quincy Jones's daughter Rashida); and Jackson was often seen wearing a single white sequined glove.

There's no official count on how many gloves Jackson owned and wore during his career, but one performance-used mitt is now up for sale via GWS Auctions and their Legends of Hollywood & Music Auction. Used by Jackson during his 1997 HIStory tour, the Swarovski crystal-covered glove is unique in that Jackson had it made for his left hand, as he wanted to keep the wedding ring—courtesy of his marriage to nurse Debbie Rowe—visible on his right. (Though wedding rings are traditionally worn on the left hand, Jackson was known to wear his on the right.)

A white glove worn by Michael Jackson during his 1997 HIStory tour
GWS Auctions

According to Jackson associate John Kehe, Jackson allegedly got the idea for the glove in 1980, when he was touring a production company and saw a film editor at a control panel wearing a white cotton glove. Jackson himself wrote in his autobiography, Moonwalk, that he had been wearing a single glove since the 1970s. Either way, it was Jackson's performance of "Billie Jean" during a television appearance for Motown's 25th anniversary in May 1983 that cemented the accessory in the eyes of the public. That particular glove sold for $350,000 in 2009.

The HIStory glove will be up for auction March 24; pre-bids currently have it in excess of $5000. The Legends of Music and Hollywood Auction is also set to feature a prescription pill bottle once owned by Frank Sinatra and a hairbrush used by Marilyn Monroe.

Getty Images
The Stories Behind 10 Johnny Cash Songs
Getty Images
Getty Images

Johnny Cash, who was born on this day in 1932, once wrote, “I love songs about horses, railroads, land, judgment day, family, hard times, whiskey, courtship, marriage, adultery, separation, murder, war, prison, rambling, damnation, home, salvation, death, pride, humor, piety, rebellion, patriotism, larceny, determination, tragedy, rowdiness, heartbreak and love. And Mother And God."

That sums the Cash discography up pretty well. He covers at least 20 of those themes in the 10 songs below. Here are the backstories behind some of the Man in Black's most famous songs—and maybe a little insight into why he loved those topics so much.


In the song, Cash explains that he always wears black to performances and public appearances because of social injustices, “just so we’re reminded of the ones who are held back.” It’s a great story, but it’s not 100 percent true. In 2002, he told Larry King that black was his signature color simply because he felt most comfortable in it, although he preferred light blue in summer. “You walk into my clothes closet. It’s dark in there,” he said.

Rolling Stone wrote that the inky wardrobe was also helpful when it came to hiding dirt and dust in the early touring days.


Cash didn’t always wear black. In the video above, he’s dressed in bright yellow, accessorized with a powder blue cape.

Sound a little off-brand? It was. In the early ‘80s, Cash felt that Columbia, his record label, was ignoring him and failing to promote his music properly. He decided to record a song so awful that it would force Columbia to cut his contract early. The plan worked, but it came at a price. “He was kind of mocking and dismantling his own legacy,” daughter Rosanne later said. Here’s a sampling of the lyrics, in case the video is too painful to watch: “I put your brain in a chicken last Monday, he’s singing your songs and making lots of money, and I’ve got him signed to a 10-year recording contract.”


Written in just 20 minutes, Cash’s (arguably) greatest hit  was intended as a reminder to himself to stay faithful to his first wife, Vivian, while he was on the road opening for Elvis in the mid-1950s. "It was kind of a prodding to myself to 'Play it straight, Johnny,'" he once said. According to other interviews, that wasn’t the song’s only meaning: He also meant it as an oath to God. Although Sam Phillips from Sun Records said that he wasn’t interested in gospel songs, Johnny was able to sneak “I Walk the Line” past him with the story about being true to his wife.


In 1969, Johnny and June threw a party at their house in Hendersonville. As you might imagine, it was a veritable who’s-who of music: Bob Dylan, Graham Nash, Joni Mitchell, Kris Kristofferson, and Shel Silverstein. Everyone debuted a new song at the party—Dylan sang “Lay Lady Lay,” Nash did “Marrakkesh Express,” Kristofferson played “Me and Bobby McGee,” and Mitchell sang “Both Sides Now.” Silverstein, who was a songwriter in addition to an author of children’s books, debuted “A Boy Named Sue.”

When the party was over, June encouraged Johnny to take the lyrics to “Sue” on the plane the next day. They were headed to California to record the famous live At San Quentin album. Johnny wasn’t sure he could learn the lyrics fast enough, but he did—and the inmates went crazy for it. They weren’t the only ones: "A Boy Named Sue" quickly shot to the top of the charts. And not just the country charts—it held the #2 spot on the Billboard Hot 100 for three weeks.

The song was originally inspired by a male friend of Silverstein’s with a somewhat feminine name—Jean Shepherd, the author of A Christmas Story.


The story behind this one depends on who you believe. The Carter-Cash family has always maintained that June and guitar player Merle Kilgore co-wrote the song about June falling in love with Johnny despite being worried about his drug and alcohol problem.

But according to Johnny’s first wife, Vivian, June had nothing to do with “Ring of Fire.” “The truth is, Johnny wrote that song, while pilled up and drunk, about a certain private female body part,” Vivian wrote in her autobiography. She claims he gave June credit for writing the song because he thought she needed the money.

Either way, June’s sister Anita originally recorded the song. After Johnny had a dream that he was singing it with mariachi horns, he recorded it that way. 


“Ring of Fire” isn’t the only time Johnny had a dream that inspired a song. In his later years, Cash had a dream that he walked into Buckingham Palace and encountered Queen Elizabeth just sitting on the floor. When she saw him, the Queen said, “Johnny Cash, you’re like a thorn tree in a whirlwind!” Two or three years later, Cash remembered the dream, decided that the reference must be a biblical one, and wrote what he called “my song of the apocalypse”—“The Man Comes Around.”


This one is another early song inspired by Vivian. From the summer of 1951 through the summer of 1954, Cash was deployed in Germany with the Air Force. At the end of three years, he turned down the option to re-enlist, feeling homesick for his girl and his home. On the journey back from Germany, he penned “Hey Porter” about the excitement and relief he felt to finally be coming home.


After seeing Inside the Walls of Folsom Prison, Cash was inspired to write a song about it. Too bad that song already existed as “Crescent City Blues,” written by Gordon Jenkins.

Jenkins sued for copyright infringement in 1969 and received $75,000. Cash later admitted that he heard the song when he was in the Air Force, but borrowing the tune and some of the lyrics was subconscious; he never meant to rip Jenkins off. Oh, but the famous “I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die” line—that was all Johnny.

9. "CRY! CRY! CRY!"

After Cash returned home from the Air Force and signed with Sun Records, he gave Sam Phillips “Hey Porter.” Phillips asked for a ballad for the B-side, so Cash went home and quickly wrote “Cry! Cry! Cry!” literally overnight. It became his first big hit—not bad for an afterthought.


Though “Get Rhythm” eventually became the B-side for “I Walk the Line,” Cash originally wrote it for Elvis. It might have been recorded by Presley, but when he went to RCA, Sam Phillips refused to let him take “Get Rhythm” with him.


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