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Jennifer Gensch
Jennifer Gensch

How to Celebrate Talk Like A Pirate Day

Jennifer Gensch
Jennifer Gensch

Photograph by Flickr user Jennifer Gensch.

Friday, September 19 is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Time to get your sea legs and gather your mateys and practice your “Arrr”s! Here are a few ways to mark the occasion.

1. Talk Like a Pirate

Photograph from Talk Like a Pirate Day.

After all, that’s what the holiday is for! The International Talk Like a Pirate Day website has resources for helping you get the talk right. And you can even learn to talk like a German pirate or a French pirate. And if that’s all too complicated, or if you live online like I do, you can use their simple translator.

2. Attend a Pirate Party

Photograph by Flickr user Scott Vandehey.

The Faust Hotel & Brewing Company in New Braunfels, Texas, invites all you scurvy dogs Friday, with a costume contest and a pirate talk contest.

The Cure Lounge in Louisville, Kentucky, presents Party Like a Pirate Day with music from Drunk & Sailor.

The Waldorf Beer Club in Scranton, Pennsylvania, will celebrate their 5th annual TLAP Day party. There will be prizes for those showing up in pirate costume.

If you want to find out what’s happening near you, check the Google map of Talk Like a Pirate Day events.

3. Play Putt-putt Free

A park called Blackbeard’s Cove has to celebrate this auspicious occasion, and the park in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina, will award a free game of putt-putt to anyone dressed as a pirate, and there’s a book reading for kids featuring pirate books read by …police officers. It was too difficult for them to find real pirates who can read.

Come in to any location of Pirate’s Island Adventure Golf Friday and get $2 off if you talk like a pirate.

4. Watch a Pirate Movie

Take a look through the 50 saltiest and rummiest Pirate Movies listed in chronological order, and chances are that you’ve seen quite a few of them. Maybe you’ll want to rewatch one or two, or select a new film to enjoy of TLAP Day. There are hundreds of pirate movies, but sadly, not all of them are available at RedBox or Netflix.

The Berwyn Public Library in Berwyn, Illinois, is having a party for kids, featuring a triple feature of pirate movies, headlined by Muppet Treasure Island. Since this is for kids, the party will be on Saturday.

5. Change your Facebook Language

Under the general settings of your Facebook page, you can select “English (pirate)” as your language for the day. Arr!

6. Read About Pirates

May I suggest these enlightening articles from the mental_floss archives?

11 Rules From an Actual Pirate Code

Democracy on the High Seas: How Pirates Rocked the Vote

Did Pirates Really Make People Walk the Plank?

6 Famous Pirate Ships

10 Pirate Myths and Surprises

Or you could read a book about pirates, fiction or non-fiction. A group of authors is staging a pirate book giveaway, open for entries through Friday.

7. Eat and Drink Like a Pirate

Photograph by Flickr user Dave Morris.

Considering that classical pirates were sailing for months at a time, a meal heavy in seafood makes sense. Pirates also stowed pickled and spiced food supplies that would last a long time. And there was hardtack when everything else was gone. But after a looting, food could be sumptuous. Salmagundi was a kind of pirate stew that included everything in the galley. There are also plenty of drink recipes, many featuring rum, for your celebration. 

8. Do a Good Deed

Hft, an organization that provides service to those with learning disabilities in England, is using Talk Like a Pirate Day to raise funds for their programs. There are plenty of ways you can join in the fun and help out!

Tampa Bay is using TLAP Day to raise funds for LifePath and Suncoast Hospice. The party starts at 5 at The Getaway in St. Petersburg.

The Ship Inn in Weymouth, UK, is fundraising for Macmillan Cancer Support during a TLAP Day party starting at noon.

9. Eat a Free Doughnut or Twelve

As they have for years now, Krispy Kreme is giving away doughnuts on September 19th. Go into any Krispy Kreme outlet and talk like a pirate for a doughnut. If you go in dressed as a pirate, you can snag a dozen doughnuts! The bakery also has some tips for celebrating TLAP Day in other ways in their Pirate Academy. 

See also:
17 Swashbuckling Facts About Talk Like A Pirate Day
The Late Movies: Pirate Talk
Your Pirate Home

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Don't Have Space For a Christmas Tree? Decorate a Pineapple Instead
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Christmas trees aren't for everyone. Some people can't fit a fir inside their cramped abodes, while others are turned off by the expense, or by the idea of bugs hitchhiking their way inside. Fake trees are always an option, but a new trend sweeping Instagram—pineapples as mini-Christmas "trees"—might convince you to forego the forest vibe for a more tropical aesthetic.

As Thrillist reports, the pineapple-as-Christmas-tree idea appears to have originated on Pinterest before it, uh, ripened into a social media sensation. Transforming a pineapple into a Halloween “pumpkin” requires carving and tea lights, but to make the fruit festive for Christmas all one needs are lights, ornaments, swaths of garland, and any other tiny tchotchkes that remind you of the holidays. The final result is a tabletop decoration that's equal parts Blue Hawaii and Miracle on 34th Street.

In need of some decorating inspiration? Check out a variety of “Christmas tree” pineapples below.

[h/t Thrillist]

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15 Festive Facts About Jingle All the Way
20th Century Fox Home Entertainment
20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

In all of Arnold Schwarzenegger's film oeuvre, Jingle All the Way might just be the one that most exhibits the ugliness of humanity. Set on a fevered Christmas Eve brimming with desperate last-minute shoppers, Schwarzenegger's Howard Langston and Sinbad's postal worker character Myron Larabee find themselves battling one another to make themselves look good to their sons by getting their hands on the elusive Turbo Man action figure. The comedic genius Phil Hartman; Rita Wilson; future young Anakin Skywalker, Jake Lloyd; Laraine Newman; Harvey Korman; Martin Mull; Curtis Armstrong; and Chris Parnell were the other willing participants in this cult comedy, directed by Brian Levant. Here are some things you might not have known about the contemporary holiday classic.

1. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER WAS ABLE TO PLAY THE LEAD BECAUSE OF A DELAY ON A PLANET OF THE APES REMAKE.

Arnold Schwarzenegger signed up to star in the Apes remake in March of 1994, but 20th Century Fox rejected multiple scripts for the movie, including one co-written by Chris Columbus (Gremlins, The Goonies). Columbus left the project in late 1995, and Schwarzenegger followed him soon after, freeing him to sign up for Jingle All the Way, produced by Columbus, in February 1996. Fox's Planet of the Apes reboot found its way into theaters in 2001, starring Mark Wahlberg and directed by Tim Burton.

2. SINBAD THOUGHT HE SCREWED UP THE AUDITION.

Sinbad in 'Jingle All the Way' (1996)
20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

Filming was delayed so that Sinbad could follow through on his commitment to travel to Bosnia with Hillary Clinton. Even though Columbus agreed to wait for him, the comedian still thought he "messed up" his audition and told his manager-brother he was going to quit show business.

3. OFFICER HUMMELL WAS INITIALLY WRITTEN AS A WOMAN.

Though the role of Officer Hummell was written for a woman, the part went to Robert Conrad. Conrad's explanation was that the producers "wanted someone who could pull up next to Arnold and tell him to pull over and he pulls over."

4. IT WAS CHRIS PARNELL'S FIRST MOVIE.

The future SNL star played the toy store clerk. "Well, it was my first movie role, and I didn't know how they typically shot scenes," Parnell admitted in a Reddit AMA. "So I had to laugh a lot, and I sort of spent all of my laughing energy in the wider takes, so by the time we got to the close-up shots, it was a real struggle to keep that going."

5. MARTIN MULL STAYED ON SET FOR OVER TWO WEEKS LONGER THAN HE WAS SUPPOSED TO.

Mull (KQRS D.J. a.k.a. Mr. Ponytail Man) was told it would just be a one- to two-day shoot for him. Unfortunately, his part had to be shot on a rainy day, and it didn't rain in Minneapolis for two and a half weeks.

6. PHIL HARTMAN MADE UP A BACKSTORY FOR HIS CHARACTER.


20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

Hartman (Ted Maltin) was probably joking for the film's official production notes, but you never know. "Ted is a guy who sued his employer for headaches caused by toner fumes and now hangs around the neighborhood and helps all the housewives," Hartman said. He also offered a take on how he was kind of being pigeonholed in Hollywood when he added, "Ted's another weasel to add my list of weasels."

7. HARTMAN ENTERTAINED HIS BORED YOUNG CO-STARS.

To keep young E.J. De la Pena (Johnny Maltin) and Jake Lloyd (Jamie Langston) from getting bored shooting a car scene all day, Hartman improvised songs designed to bring kids to hysterics. One tune contained the lyrics “You make my butt shine, the more you kiss it, the more it shines! The clock is ticking, so keep on licking, oh how you make my buttocks shine!”

"When you’re an 8 year old hearing that kind of potty humor, it was hilarious!" De la Pena remembered. "And we had a lot of fun."

8. JAMES BELUSHI HAD EXPERIENCE PLAYING SANTA BEFORE.

Belushi sort of trained to portray the Mall of America Santa in the movie by playing Kris Kringle for four years in "about 20" different homes, according to his estimation.

9. SHOOTING BEGAN IN MID-APRIL.

The Minneapolis/St.Paul areas were chosen because the producers figured they had the longest winter. But they also filmed in Los Angeles' Universal Studios for the big parade over a three week span, where it was typical hot California weather on the verge of summer. Sinbad remembered it was 100 degrees on the days when he wore the Dementor costume, and the water in his helmet had started to boil.

10. THE REAL TURBO MAN DIDN'T SWEAT.

Daniel Riordan's Turbo Man suit ensured he wouldn't have trouble with the scorching heat. He was wearing a vest underneath used by race car drivers. "They're very thin membrane vests that are filled with small, plastic tubing that's tightly coiled, back and forth, and they run cold water through it," Riordan explained. "So when they run it, it's like this cold water right up against your body and it was amazing. The sensation was fantastic."

11. TURBO MAN FIGURES WERE SOLD AT WAL-MART.

200,000 were originally produced and sold at 2,300 Wal-Mart shops for $25. They would have made more but, as Fox’s president of licensing and merchandising explained to Entertainment Weekly, there were only six and a half months to produce and promote Turbo Man toys, and it usually takes "well over a year."

12. THEY ALMOST SOLD DEMENTOR DOLLS TOO.

Sinbad recalled that the studio didn't sell Dementor action figures even though they tested high during research. "I had a prototype of the doll but they said 'give it back, we'll get you the real one when it comes out,'" Sinbad said." ...And dude, it NEVER came out!" Sinbad told Redditers his theory: "I think that they didn't want the competition between Turbo Man and my doll."

13. SOME PARENTS HAD ALCOHOL-RELATED COMPLAINTS AFTER TEST SCREENINGS.


20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

Schwarzenegger and Sinbad talking at a bar over some alcohol, and the fact that reindeer also imbibed in beer, were among some of the problems mothers and other early viewers took issue with.

14. THE FILMMAKERS WERE SUED FOR PLAGIARISM, AND LOST.

Randy Kornfield penned the official script, but high school teacher Brian Alan Webster alleged his Could This Be Christmas? script was very similar. The publishing firm that had the rights to Webster's script won a $19 million lawsuit from 20th Century Fox, but the ruling was overturned in 2004. Webster's screenplay was about “the quest of a Caucasian mother attempting to obtain a hard-to-get action figure toy as a Christmas gift for her son. In the course of this pursuit, she competes with an African-American woman, similarly seeking to give the action figure doll as a Christmas gift.”

15. THERE WAS A SEQUEL STARRING LARRY THE CABLE GUY.

None of the original cast members nor characters returned in the straight-to-DVD Jingle All the Way 2 (2014). It was produced by 20th Century Fox and WWE Studios and featured wrestler Santino Marella. Sinbad expressed incredulity when a Redditer inquired if he was asked to return for it. "What they are doing a new version without me! Ain't gonna work!"

Additional Sources:

Schaefer, Stephen: "Sinbad leaps at the chance to go postal in Jingle All the Way," December 6, 1996; Des Moines Register

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