10 Fishy SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Theories

Nickelodeon
Nickelodeon

SpongeBob Squarepants is a cartoon for children. But the way some fans talk about it on social media, you’d assume it’s a gritty drama about drug addiction, war, and nuclear annihilation. People have grafted a ton of dark themes onto SpongeBob, Patrick, and all their equally cheery underwater pals, suggesting their sunny dispositions are masking some serious trauma. Here are 10 of the bleakest, weirdest, and most hilarious fan theories about the show—some of which have made their way back to SpongeBob himself.

1. Bikini Bottom is the result of nuclear testing.

One of the most popular SpongeBob SquarePants theories claims that Bikini Bottom is located directly underneath Bikini Atoll, the Marshall Islands atoll where the U.S. government conducted 23 nuclear tests during the Cold War. That means SpongeBob and his friends are aquatic mutations whose bodies and minds have been warped by the nuclear waste above. The Bikini Atoll theory would also explain why everyone in this modern underwater community sends letters, and dresses like a dad from the 1950s.

2. The main characters represent the seven deadly sins.

Sloth, pride, greed, gluttony, lust, envy, and wrath. They’re the seven deadly sins, but they’re also—according to some Nickelodeon viewersSpongeBob's seven main characters. Patrick spends most of his day snoring under a rock, so he’s sloth. Mr. Krabs’s obsession with money makes him a clear candidate for greed, while cranky Squidward is a neat stand-in for wrath. Plankton’s sole mission in life is to steal the Krabby Patty recipe and with it, Mr. Krabs’s success for himself—which is pretty envious. That leaves gluttony for Gary, pride for Sandy, and lust for overly-friendly SpongeBob.

3. Squidward is SpongeBob’s guardian.

While SpongeBob loves spending time with his neighbor, Squidward tolerates him at best. So why doesn’t Squidward move—or quit his job working alongside SpongeBob at the Krusty Krab? According to a Reddit theory, SpongeBob’s secretly rich parents hired Squidward to watch over SpongeBob, whom they suspect has ADHD. Though they worried about how their son would fare on his own, they wanted him to have an independent life, so they bought SpongeBob a nice house—how else could he afford it on a fry cook’s salary?—and gave Squidward a loan to help him move next door. Squidward has served as a sort of guardian ever since, and SpongeBob’s parents purchased a deceptively modest home for themselves nearby so they could spend more money on travel.

4. It’s all about global warming.

You probably assume SpongeBob SquarePants, who lives in a pineapple under the sea, is a sea sponge, right? Wrong! For this metaphor to work, he needs to be a kitchen sponge, representing human waste and pollution. Mr. Krabs, as SpongeBob’s employer, stands in for the large corporations that cause pollution, while Patrick, as SpongeBob’s best friend, is western civilization, i.e. lazy and the main cause of the world's pollution. Squidward is the liberalism that calls for action against climate change, but because no one shares his interests, he’s constantly ignored.

5. Krabby Patties are made from crabs.

What is it that makes Krabby Patties so delicious? It all comes down to a secret ingredient that only Mr. Krabs knows, and there might be a sinister reason why he’s keeping it under lock and key. Many Redditors believe Mr. Krabs is a cannibal who makes his burgers with crab meat. He has killed and served up all his crab friends for the business, which is why he’s seemingly the only crab in town, and some even speculate that the long-absent Mrs. Krabs was a victim of his scheme.

6. The patties are actually vegan.

But what if Mr. Krabs only serves burgers that taste like crab? One counterargument claims that he engineered a convincing imitation crab meat, and that is the true key to his success. Crustacean customers get all the great seafood taste, without the soul-sucking guilt of eating their best friends. It’s why they prefer the Krusty Krab to the rival Chum Bucket, which serves actual “chum”—non-imitation fish parts.

7. The main characters are each addicted to a different drug.

SpongeBob’s quirks can be explained by personality, or hallucinogens. This theory posits that at least five SpongeBob SquarePants characters are addicted to a specific drug. SpongeBob takes shrooms, since he has a hyperactive imagination and the capacity for both joy (i.e. a good trip) and panic (i.e. a bad trip). Patrick prefers weed, as evidenced by his slow speech, carefree attitude, and frequent bouts of the munchies. Squidward’s moodiness and poor job performance could be attributed to heroin abuse, while Mr. Krabs’ and Mrs. Puff’s ill tempers and paranoia might be signs of a cocaine problem.

8. SpongeBob is a veteran suffering from PTSD.

Some fans have picked up on strange similarities between SpongeBob SquarePants and military veterans. He wears the same thing every day, wakes up at the same time (with a horn!), and addresses his boss with vaguely militaristic terms, like “yes, sir!” If SpongeBob is a veteran struggling with PTSD, he might have some weird verbal tics—and seek stability in a full-time fry cook gig and quiet neighborhood.

9. The show is a metaphor for pre-WWII Germany.

Like so many discussions on the internet, this theory begins with Hitler. The logic goes that Squidward—a failed artist and kind of a jerk, with a squid superiority complex—represents Adolf Hitler. He wants to get rid of SpongeBob, who embodies the Jewish people. Patrick stands for German ignorance; he lives alongside SpongeBob and Squidward but seems totally oblivious to their toxic dynamic. Sandy Cheeks is America, trying to free the Jews (SpongeBob) from Hitler’s (Squidward’s) tyranny. Finally, Mr. Krabs represents the rest of Europe, which looks down on Hitler and Germany for its role in WWI.

10. SpongeBob and Squidward’s homes are remnants of a tiki bar.

What do you usually see at a tiki bar? Paper lanterns, flaming cocktails, pineapples, coconuts, stone tiki heads, and a bunch of faux flowers. And what do SpongeBob and Squidward’s houses look like? A pineapple and a stone tiki head. This Reddit theory argues that a sunken ship with a tiki bar onboard brought these items to the bottom of the sea, and SpongeBob and Squidward decided to make them into homes.

10 Facts About DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story For Its 15th Anniversary

Vince Vaughn stars in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004).
Vince Vaughn stars in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004).
Twentieth Century Fox

June 18, 2004 saw the release of two wildly different films in American cinemas: Steven Spielberg’s The Terminal and a goofy, cameo-filled, wrench-chucking sports comedy called DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story. Guess which one came out on top at the box office? The sleeper hit both saluted and skewered the sports movie genre. It also gave Chuck Norris the chance to enjoy a free helicopter ride.

1. Dodgeball's creator was inspired by the book Fast Food Nation.

DodgeBall writer/director Rawson Marshall Thurber considered DodgeBall an homage to some of his favorite flicks, including Revenge of the Nerds (1984), Rocky (1976), and Bull Durham (1988). Another source of inspiration was Eric Schlosser’s Fast Food Nation, the nonfiction bestseller about the modern obsession with greasy, ready-made cuisine. Published in 2001, Fast Food Nation sold more than 1.4 million copies within five years. It also left plenty of fingerprints on Thurber’s script.

"I really took a cue from that—there's an absolute love/fear relationship thing in our culture," Thurber told Film Freak Central in 2014. "We're so weight conscious, so image conscious, so youth-oriented—and wrapped up with all that psychosis are these ad images of it being so cool and all-American and sexy to eat McDonald's and drink pop and all that. It pulls people in all sorts of different directions, so I wanted [Ben Stiller’s character] White Goodman to be sitting there with a doughnut and the car battery attached to his nipples … That situation with food, with sports, with so much of our culture. [It’s] already almost too surreal to satirize."

2. The movie's actors went through some rigorous training.

To ready themselves for the movie, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, and the rest of the actors ran indoor dodgeball drills at what many of them have since described as a “boot camp.” According to Stiller, this basically consisted of “us at a gym a few times a week playing dodgeball.” While that may not sound too intense, the physicality of these sessions took its toll on the performers. “It’s a game for the young,” Stiller said. “It’s one thing when you’re eight, but when you’re 38, it gets really exhausting. After three or four minutes, you’re fried.” Practicing at his side was Stiller’s wife, Christine Taylor, who plays Kate Veatch of the Average Joe’s squad in DodgeBall.

3. Ben Stiller took Christine Taylor down with a dodgeball ... twice.

As a general rule, it’s never a good idea to hit one’s spouse in the face with a rubber ball while playing any sport, but that’s exactly what Stiller did to Christine Taylor—twice. Blow number one came during the boot camp; the second strike occurred while filming the epic Globo Gym/Average Joe’s showdown. The latter ball was intended to strike Vaughn, who reflexively flinched to get out of the way. In any event, Stiller admits that those two incidents put a temporary damper on the couple’s marital harmony “for like a week, because there’s no way to not get upset with somebody after you’ve done that. It just sent us both back to eighth grade." (Though the couple announced that they were divorcing in 2017, the split has never been made official, and the couple is still regularly seen together—sparking rumors of a reconciliation.)

4. Stiller borrowed much of his character's personality from 1995's Heavyweights.

The fact that Stiller borrowed some of White Goodman’s traits from Tony Perkis, the fanatical fat camp owner he played in 1995’s Heavyweights, won’t surprise anyone who has seen both films. DodgeBall’s White Goodman (as played by Stiller) is a bombastic, egomaniacal fitness guru with some inherited wealth and major insecurities. The same description also applies to Perkis. A lighthearted family comedy, Heavyweights didn’t fare well at the box office, grossing a meager $17.6 million. As such, when Stiller copied a few of Perkis’s mannerisms in DodgeBall, he figured that no one would notice.

"I always thought, ‘Well, nobody ever saw Heavyweights, so I can do this,” Stiller recalled. “But a lot of people saw Heavyweights … Apparently, it shows on the Disney Channel a lot or something.” Regarding the two characters, Stiller has said that Perkis is “definitely a first or second cousin” to Goodman.

5. Justin Long suffered a minor concussion on the set.

Justin Long, who plays Justin in the film, took some hard knocks while making this movie. For starters, a prop wrench made with hard rubber left a nasty cut on his eyebrow when Rip Torn, as Patches O’Houlihan, threw it at his face in one scene. Then, while filming another section of DodgeBall’s training montage, the actor was pelted with enough high-speed balls to render him "slightly concussed."

"They didn’t want me to drive home at the end of the day because I was a little off," Long told Today in 2017. “So next time you’re watching that and laughing, know that you’re laughing at my pain.” Still, the experience wasn’t all bad. According to New York Magazine, Long can often be seen riding a scooter adorned with the words “Average Joe’s,” a gift from Stiller.

6. Hank Azaria and Rip Torn didn't even try to synchronize their Patches O'Houlihan voices.

Early in the film, we get to watch an instructional video about dodgeball (and social Darwinism) hosted by a young Patches O’Houlihan, who is played by Hank Azaria. For the remainder of the film, however, it’s Rip Torn who portrays the seven-time ADAA all-star. You may have noticed that the two actors use very different accents in their respective scenes: Azaria, who joined the cast at Stiller’s invitation, called his performance “essentially a bad Clark Gable impression.” At the time, Torn’s sequences hadn’t been shot yet, leading someone in the crew to pipe up and say “You know, it’d be funny if Rip tries to emulate that voice!” “I was like, ‘Yeah, good luck walking up to Rip Torn and suggesting that he change his vocal quality in any way. Let me know how that goes for you,’” Azaria replied.

7. The Average Joe's team colors are an homage to Hoosiers.

Thurber, a fan of David Anspaugh’s Oscar-nominated Hoosiers (1986), tipped his hat to the Hickory Huskers’ red and yellow uniforms by giving the Average Joe’s squad—led by Vince Vaughn’s Pete LaFleur—an almost identical color scheme. 

8. Chuck Norris was reluctant to make a cameo.

The action star’s only scene was shot in Long Beach, California. Geographically speaking, this was problematic for Norris. “I was in L.A. when they asked me to do the cameo,” Norris told Empire Magazine. “I said no at first because it was a three-hour drive to Long Beach.” Hearing this, Stiller called Norris and begged him to reconsider. “He goes, ‘Chuck, please, you’ve got to do this for me!’” Norris recalled, “My wife said he should send a helicopter for me and that's what happened. I didn't read the screenplay, just did my bit where I stick my thumb up.”

After post-production on DodgeBall wrapped and Norris got around to seeing the finished product, he found himself enjoying most of it. However, there was one little moment in the final credits that really caught him off-guard. “In the end, when Ben’s a big fatty and watching TV, the last line of the whole movie is, 'F***ing Chuck Norris!' My mouth fell open ... I said, 'Holy mackerel!' That was a shock, Ben didn't tell me about that!"

9. One villain was originally supposed to be a robot.

By far the most mysterious player in the Purple Cobras lineup is Fran Stalinovskovichdavidovitchsky, an Eastern European all-star whom Goodman calls “The deadliest woman on earth with a dodgeball.” What’s the secret to her success? Well, in an early version of the screenplay, it’s revealed that Fran is actually a robot in disguise. Thurber ended up dropping the gag, which he considered too ridiculous—even by DodgeBall’s standards. However, when Missi Pyle was cast as Fran, the big twist hadn’t yet been cut.

“Initially, in the first script I read, she was a robot, like a sexy-bodied robot” Pyle explained. The original plan was to slowly pan the camera up over a partly-exposed Robo-Fran—with her metallic face and fake breasts on full display—at some point in the climax.

10. Alan Tudyk weighed in on a fan theory about Steve the Pirate.

In 2012, Redditor Maized made the case Steve the Pirate, Alan Tudyk’s swashbuckling oddball, is actually an “ex-Navy sailor who suffers from PTSD.” As evidence, Maized cited Steve’s tattoos, which bear a striking resemblance to those frequently worn by U.S. Naval recruits. In theory, the Average Joe’s patron uses his pirate persona to cope with his condition.

During a 2016 interview with Screen Crush, Tudyk was asked to offer his thoughts on the theory. With a chuckle, Tudyk replied that it “doesn’t seem like it’s impossible.” Emphasizing that he didn’t wish to “insult Navy sailors who have PTSD,” the actor said he’d consider taking the Redditor’s idea into account if a DodgeBall sequel is ever made.

Game of Thrones Director Said He Wanted to 'Kill Everyone' During the Battle of Winterfell

Iain Glen and Emilia Clarke in Game of Thrones.
Iain Glen and Emilia Clarke in Game of Thrones.
Helen Sloan, HBO

Now that Game of Thrones is over, it’s time to talk about the nitty-gritty of the episodes, particularly “The Long Night.” While the Battle of Winterfell may have been nerve-wracking to watch, there ended up being surprisingly fewer deaths than fans expected, considering the living were fighting the entire army of the dead.

Miguel Sapochnik, who directed the episode, was no beginner with battle scenes before taking on “The Long Night,” as he was also responsible season 6's iconic “The Battle of the Bastards” as well as the memorable season 5 episode “Hardhome.” While his list of Game of Thrones accomplishments is long, it turns out that Sapochnik's choices haven't always been in line with what showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss want.

According to IndieWire, Sapochnik’s aesthetic choices, such as the decision to shoot shoot Cersei and Tommen shadowed by prison-like bars to represent Tommen’s imprisonment in season 5, were not favored by the showrunners. “[Benioff and Weiss] said [it was] ‘so self-conscious and we hate it basically,'” Sapochnik revealed at the time. Because of disagreements like this, the pair “visually policed” the director.

There was a difference of opinion between the director and the creators again for “The Long Night,” Sapochnik revealed on IndieWire's Filmmaker's Toolkit podcast. “I wanted to kill everyone,” the director said, as reported by Esquire. “I wanted to kill Jorah in the horse charge at the beginning. I wanted it to be ruthless, so in the first 10 minutes you could say all bets are off, anyone could die. But David and Dan didn’t want to. There was a lot of back-and-forth on that."

Ultimately, Sapochnik gave in to Benioff and Weiss’s plan for the episode, and the Battle of Winterfell had far fewer casualties than most of the series's other battle scenes.

[h/t Esquire]

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