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Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue: The Biggest Anti-Drug PSA Ever

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You probably watched Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue, but there's a good chance you've repressed that memory.

In 1990, this anti-drug TV special was simulcast across all four major networks—the first-ever scripted program to do this—as well as various cable channels. It aired around the globe, and heads of state sat down to film introductions for their respective nations' versions. George H.W. Bush said before its debut that he wanted every child in America to watch it.

The cartoon cost millions of dollars to make and featured such legendary characters as Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, the Smurfs, Garfield, Kermit the Frog, and more. Never before (and not since) have so many expensive studio properties appeared in one production together (it's said their licensing fees were waived). If that weren't enough, McDonald's (which financed it) handed out 250 million pamphlets promoting the special and its message. It featured a musical number from Academy Award-winning songwriters Howard Ashman and Alan Menken and even the vocal talents of George C. Scott. He played Smoke, the evil weed smoke monster.

Despite all this, Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue did not single-handedly win the War on Drugs. Why not?

The story centers around Michael, a 14-year-old marijuana addict who, drug habit nor not, is a real piece of work. He steals his darling sister Corey's piggy bank to feed his insatiable need for cannabis. This is when our cavalcade of animated All-Stars enter. They magically come to life and teach Michael a lesson about addiction and self-control. You can watch the cartoon in its entirety here:

The problem with the special is the huge cast of All-Stars itself. If there ever was a case of too many cooks in the kitchen, this is it, and our nation's youth paid the price.

Alvin and The Chipmunks

These stars hide under Michael's bed and watch him break open Corey's piggy bank. They also snoop through his stash box and find his weed. Alvin and The Chipmunks are in the music industry, so let's not pretend they haven't seen a joint before. Simon quickly identifies the drug by the smell, saying it's "an unlawful substance used to experience artificial highs." Pretty rich sanctimony coming from the guys who came up with this.

Garfield

Garfield doesn't do anything in this entire PSA except make three jokes about lasagna. Clearly the events of Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue didn't happen on a Monday, or else the cat would've varied his schtick to mention that.

Winnie the Pooh

Winnie gives advice to Corey and tells her to talk to both her parents and Michael about his addiction. This is the same Winnie the Pooh who fiends for honey with such fervor that he routinely gets his head stuck in a jar. Go dole your advice out somewhere else, junkie.

Bugs Bunny

When Bugs meets Michael, the bunny is impersonating a police officer. He then kidnaps Michael, takes him in a time machine, and makes him observe the first time the teenager ever smoked pot. He also threatens Michael, saying, "What's up Doc...is your life!" Those are three felonies, plus one crime against Niven's laws of time travel. Bugs Bunny is repugnant.

Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy

Oh good, the Muppets are here—they make everything better. Except these are Muppet Babies, and they take Michael on a roller coaster ride through his own brain. If you ever wanted to see Kermit the Frog screeching through an adolescent's parietal lobe while screaming, "YOU GOTTA TAKE DRUGS JUST TO FEEL NORMAL!" then this is your chance.

Daffy Duck

Daffy plays a clairvoyant and shows Michael an image of his corpse.

Come on, man, go easy on the kid.

Michelangelo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Clearly shoehorned in here, but he is one of the few characters to issue positive reinforcement. "You're excellent just the way you are...without drugs!" Nice sentiment, but Michael is so terrified after riding a roller coaster through his own brain and seeing his corpse that the only response he can muster is, "HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE???"

George H.W. Bush and Barbara Bush

Bush 41 and Barbara Bush introduce us to the program. Bush was heavily involved in promoting Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue. He filmed a series of ads for it and endorsed the special during a speech to the television academy a month before it aired. Keep in mind, no sitting U.S. president who's supported Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue has ever been re-elected, so this was a big risk for him. It didn't pay off.

Dick Butkus(?)

This is a confusing one. The father, who looks just like former Chicago Bears linebacker Dick Butkus, notices that some of his beers are missing. A Los Angeles Times article published before the special aired says that addiction experts were criticizing the cartoon because it failed to address alcoholism, something more prevalent in teens. It also mentions that the film was "still being edited" three days before it aired, raising the question of whether the father was thrown in as an afterthought to appease these critics. This would make sense because the issue with the beer is never fully resolved.

Alf

Alf gets way too much airtime in Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue. He takes Michael to a hall of mirrors to teach him one of the PSA's most valuable lessons: No matter how well you think you are doing, chances are you look terrible on the outside and that's all that matters.

Michael's Cool Friends

They try to give Michael crack in an arcade. They try to smoke crack in the park. The pretty girl in the nice hat steals Michael's wallet and runs off to buy more crack. These are the kids the All-Stars should be haunting.

Slimer, Baby Gonzo, The Smurfs, Huey, Dewey, and Louie, etc...

Most of these All-Stars just line up to take turns yelling at Michael. It's like an intervention in the most twisted circle of hell. If only Michael could have waited 23 more years, he'd be able to buy weed legally in Colorado and not have to be subjected to all this abuse.

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British Film Institute
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Where to Watch Over 300 British Animated Films for Free Online
British Film Institute
British Film Institute

The history of animation doesn’t begin and end with studios in Japan and the U.S. Artists in the UK have been drawing and sculpting cartoons for over a century, and now some of the best examples of the medium to come out of the country are available to view for free online.

As It’s Nice That reports, the British Film Institute has uploaded over 300 films to the new archive on BFI player. Dubbed "Animated Britain," the expansive collection includes hand-drawn and stop motion animation and many distinct styles in between. Viewers will find ads, documentaries, films for children, and films for adults dating from 1904 to the 21st century. Episodes of classic cartoons like SuperTed and Clangers as well as obscure clips that are hard to find elsewhere are represented.

The archive description reads:

“Through its own weird alchemy, animation can bring our wildest imaginings to life, and yet it can also be a powerful tool for exploring our everyday reality. Silly, surreal, sweet or caustic, this dizzyingly diverse selection showcases British animation's unique contribution to the art form, and offers a history ripe for rediscovery.”

This institution’s project marks their start of a whole year dedicated to animation. UK residents can stream the selected films for free at BFI player, or check out their rental offerings for more British animated classics.

[h/t It’s Nice That]

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Amy Meredith, Flickr // CC BY-ND 2.0
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You Can Still Visit This Forgotten Flintstones Theme Park in Arizona
Amy Meredith, Flickr // CC BY-ND 2.0
Amy Meredith, Flickr // CC BY-ND 2.0

Like many pop culture institutions of the 20th century, Hanna-Barbera’s The Flintstones hasn’t been relegated to just one medium. The animated cast of America's favorite modern Stone Age family sold cigarettes, starred in a live-action 1994 film, and inspired all sorts of merchandise, including video games and lunchboxes. In 1972, it also got the theme park treatment.

Bedrock City, located 30 minutes from the Grand Canyon in Williams, Arizona, was the brainchild of Linda and Francis Speckels, a married couple who bought the property and turned it into a 6-acre tourist attraction. Concrete houses were built to resemble the Flintstone and Rubble residences and are furnished with props; a large metal slide resembles a brontosaurus, so kids can mimic the show’s famous title credits sequence; and statues of the characters are spread all over the premises. The site also doubles as an RV campground and parking site.

A Flintstones theme park house
Matthew Dillon, Flickr // CC BY 2.0

A statue of Bam-Bam at the Flintstones park in Arizona
Matthew Dillon, Flickr // CC BY 2.0

A statue of Wilma Flintstone at Bedrock City in Arizona
Matthew Dillon, Flickr // CC BY 2.0

When it first opened, Bedrock City employed actors to stay in character, but the remote location proved challenging to retain both employees and visitors. Over the past four decades, it's had a steady stream of tourists, but not enough to turn a huge profit. Atlas Obscura reports the attractions are in various stages of disrepair.

Linda Speckels put the property up for sale in 2015 with an asking price of $2 million, but it has yet to sell. One possible hold-up: The new owner would have to negotiate a fresh licensing deal with Hanna-Barbera and Warner Bros. for the right to continue using the show’s trademarks. (A separate Flintstones park in South Dakota, owned by another member of the Speckels family, was sold and closed in 2015.) With its proximity to the Canyon, the 30 total acres could be converted into almost anything, from a mall to a golf course. For Flintstones enthusiasts, the hope is that the park’s unique attractions won’t be reduced to rubble.

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