7 Practical Uses for Tattoos

ThinkStock
ThinkStock

Ink! Not just for sailors and sideshow freaks anymore! Tattooing has become a legitimate art form. And, like art, something magical happens when design and function meet. Consider seven ways tattoos are more than they appear (and two where they’re just confusing!).

1. Corneal Tattoos

Heidi Lassiter

There is a small percent of body modification enthusiasts who seek to have their corneas tattooed to some fabulous, mesmerizing color. That sort of corneal tattoo (which is rapidly becoming illegal in many states) is done by a tattoo artist, who should in no way be confused with a surgeon specializing in ophthalmology operating in a sterile setting. Ophthalmologists do perform a similar surgery, except with more conservative goals. If you suffer discoloration or scarring of the iris due to trauma or disease, corneal tattooing can disguise the scar. It does nothing to improve vision, however, and it is recommended only for patients who are already blind or near blind in that eye.

2. Radiation alignment tattoos

Melanie Cook

It’s usually not much of a tattoo. Just a few dots, sometimes even just one. It may be put somewhere you don’t like, such as your breast or near your prostate. You won’t have much say in the matter, because whatever argument you have, cancer has a better one. These permanent dots are placed by radiologists to help them align lasers. This ensures that cancer-fighting radiation is delivered to the right spot, every time. And to many cancer survivors, the dots serve as a tiny reminder of the fight of their lives.

3. Medic Alert Tattoos

Lindsay Pullen

If you’re allergic to penicillin, you probably will continue to be for the rest of your life. And it’s the kind of thing people need to know about, especially if the car accident you were just in makes you unable to tell them. Medic alert bracelets and necklaces are the traditional sign that your body needs special consideration in an emergency. If that information is tattooed on your body, you can’t forget to put in on or accidently drop it in the toilet. But there is one caveat. Don’t get too creative. First responders are trained to look at particular places such as the wrist and throat for medic alerts. They won’t always find it on your bicep, your back, or printed in graceful flowing script down the side of your ribcage.

4. Reconstructive Disguise Tattoos

Along the same lines of corneal tattooing is disguise tattooing. It’s not reconstruction, but rather the illusion of reconstruction.In cases like thinning hair and breast cancer, sometimes the illusion a skilled artist can create is preferable to an awkward reconstruction. Of course, some breast cancer survivors choose something a little grander when it comes to post-mastectomy tattoos. 

5. Temporary Kid IDs

The ID Company

Kids are slippery. I make my small daughter wear my business card in her shoe when we go to crowded places. I have a friend who puts a bracelet on her kid with beads that show her cell number, and another who just Sharpies pertinent information on her child’s leg when needed. None of these ideas are super great; the first two are easily lost and the last one is just weird. Temporary ID tattoos are a much tidier solution, allowing you to tag your child efficiently before releasing them into the wild.

6. Rulers

Hacked Gadgets

If you’re a craftsman or artisan, an accurate measurement tattoo is a great way to combine your passion with practicality. There aren’t many things you’re sure to use for the rest of your life. Your arm and standard units of measurement are likely two of them.

7. Mummy Tattoos

British Museum 

Sometimes a tattoo can be of use to you even if it isn’t on your body. Especially if you’re an archeologist, anthropologist, or any number of a great many careers ending in “ologist.” Mummies found all over the world, in completely different eras and civilizations, bare tattoos that serve as snapshots of their culture. Famous iceman Otzi probably practiced some form of acupuncture. People in Egypt have been tattooing Christian angels on their body since at least 700 A.D. And 1600 years ago Peru might have been host to a rare female-dominated society

Bonus: Two Tattoos that Are NOT Useful

DNR Tattoos

via

It is fair to hope that the clear black letters “DNR” tattooed across your chest will be enough to communicate your desire to not be resuscitated by artificial means. Many people get this tattoo with that intention. The problem is medical staff and first responders are not allowed to take it as a legal designation.  Does it mean “Do Not Resuscitate” or is it the initials of your beloved father close to your heart? Has your health improved substantially since you got the tattoo? Have you changed your mind? At best it will motivate responders to search out if you have a legal DNR document filed under your name, but it will not stop them from charging up the defibrillator. 

Blood Type Tattoos

fifciaa

Blood is an incredibly prejudiced substance, and will kill a patient if transfused into other blood that doesn’t match or accept it. A soldier’s dog tags ID his blood type, ostensibly so that he can be treated quickly for trauma. So it sort of make sense that tattooing your own blood type on your body would expedite any trip to the emergency room that might lie in your future. But don’t bother: Modern doctors will never give a patient blood without doing their own type test first—not even a dog-tagged man in a battle zone. Besides, in emergency situations, most first responders only carry plasma, which is safely blood neutral.

5 Actors Who Could Replace Henry Cavill as Superman in the DCEU

Jack Taylor, Getty Images
Jack Taylor, Getty Images

by Mason Segall

Though no official statement has been made one way or the other, it appears that Henry Cavill might be leaving the role of Superman in the DCEU films. According to reports, contract negotiations between Cavill's representatives and Warner Bros. broke down after the Justice League actor wasn't able to cameo in Shazam! due to a scheduling conflict.

Fortunately, the internet has stepped in to voice its opinion on who could potentially take Cavill's coveted spot in the DCEU. Of all the actors whose names have been put forth, here are the five who are probably the most realistic.

5. OSCAR ISAAC

Actor Oscar Isaac.
Pascal Le Segretain, Getty Images

This one feels like a no-brainer. Over the last few years, Oscar Isaac has proven his range as an actor in Hollywood. His classic movie star good looks, intense performances, and smooth screen presence all make him a perfect candidate to embody the American icon on the big screen.

4. ARMIE HAMMER

Actor Armie Hammer.
Rich Polk/Getty Images for IMDb

People have been trying to shove Armie Hammer into a superhero movie ever since he became a household name—the man just looks like a hero, and has the acting chops to match. This could very well be his opportunity to realize the dreams of his legions of fans and take on the mantle of the Man of Tomorrow.

3. BRANDON ROUTH

Actor Brandon Routh.
Mike Coppola/Getty Images for Entertainment Weekly

Brandon Routh already had a turn as ​Superman in the underappreciated Superman Returns, but he was playing what boiled down to an extension of the Christopher Reeve version of the character. If he were to replace Cavill, he could put his own spin on the hero while carrying over the classic feel of the Donner films, a magic Warner Bros. has been trying to recapture for the better part of 40 years.

2. MATT BOMER

Actor Matt Bomer.
Dia Dipasupil, Getty Images

If Warner Bros. wants to replace Cavill but keep his aesthetic and acting style, then Matt Bomer will almost certainly be their go-to guy. Not only does the Magic Mike actor bear an uncanny resemblance to Cavill, but he's already voiced Superman in an animated feature, giving him some experience with the role.

1. MICHAEL B. JORDAN

Actor Michael B. Jordan.
Paras Griffin/Getty Images for Essence

Michael B. Jordan is apparently already being considered for Cavill's replacement. Jordan cut his teeth on superhero movies by playing the fan-favorite villain Killmonger in the smash hit Black Panther to critical acclaim and has also been regarded as one of the best young actors in the industry today. If Warner Bros. can get him in a cape, they will.

14 Surprising Facts About Boardwalk Empire

HBO
HBO

Three long years after The Sopranos cut to black on HBO, the premium cable channel unveiled a real doozy for viewers still hankering for a good New Jersey gangster story.

Boardwalk Empire, created by former Sopranos writer and executive producer Terence Winter, was a lavish drama set in the freewheeling 1920s, while exposing the dark, seedy underbelly of the Prohibition era.

The TV series, which aired from 2010 to 2014, starred The Sopranos alum and Coen brothers mainstay Steve Buscemi as corrupt-politician-turned-bootlegging-murderer Enoch “Nucky” Thompson. Throughout Boardwalk’s five seasons, audiences were transfixed as Buscemi’s Nucky slowly transformed himself from the colorful, glad-handing Atlantic City county treasurer into a cold, manipulative criminal.

But the show was always much more than just weekly kills and illegal deals; Winter and his colleagues used Boardwalk to also take a hard look at American society at the time. They didn’t shy away from the brutal African-American experience—or the mainstream acceptance of the Ku Klux Klan in a northern state like New Jersey. And while Boardwalk will never win any awards for female-centric casting (of the 21 actors who appeared in the opening titles, only four were women and two of them were gone after the second season), it regularly explored the severe social and financial limitations placed on women from 1920 through 1931.

Although it’s only been four years since Boardwalk had its last call, with Nucky paying the ultimate price for his decades of power-hungry greed, there is still much about this often-overlooked show that deserves to be celebrated. So turn on some hot jazz, raise a glass “To the Lost,” and check out some of these fascinating facts about Boardwalk Empire. Compared to the snooze that was Al Capone’s vault, our list is just the bee’s knees.

1. THE PILOT EPISODE OF BOARDWALK EMPIRE WAS DIRECTED BY MARTIN SCORSESE … AND TERENCE WINTER WAS EMBARRASSED TO GIVE HIM A NOTE.

When you have Hollywood royalty directing the first episode of your brand-new series, the last thing anyone wants to do is correct his work. But that’s exactly what creator/showrunner Terence Winter was forced to do when he noticed an egregious etiquette error during the shoot. Speaking on the season one DVD commentary for the Boardwalk Empire pilot, Winter recounted how Michael Pitt’s Jimmy Darmody (Nucky’s protégé) was walking through a room full of women—with his hat on. The culture of the time (January 1920) dictated that a man would take off his hat when in the presence of ladies.

Winter needed to alert Scorsese, but the first assistant director told him, “No one’s ever given [Scorsese] a note before.”  The Wolf of Wall Street writer called what he did next “the longest walk of my life.” Fortunately, Scorsese—who has a little experience with period films—agreed with Winter’s change and the scene was reshot with Jimmy removing his hat.

2. STEVE BUSCEMI’S CHARACTER WAS BASED ON A REAL PERSON.

Steve Buscemi and Michael Pitt in 'Boardwalk Empire'
HBO

Boardwalk Empire was populated by actual historical figures of the era; Stephen Graham’s Al Capone and Vincent Piazza’s Charlie “Lucky” Luciano were main characters for all five seasons. But when it came to his protagonist, Winter opted to fictionalize Atlantic City’s onetime political boss Nucky Johnson into “Nucky Thompson” for the sake of creative freedom. “If everybody is real, I can’t manipulate the story the way I want to,” Winter told NPR.

3. MICHAEL STUHLBARG SCHOOLED THE BOARDWALK WRITERS ON ARNOLD ROTHSTEIN.

Michael Stuhlbarg (The Shape of Water; Call Me By Your Name), who portrayed notorious gambler Arnold Rothstein for four seasons, had done so much research on his character that Winter brought him in to educate the show’s writers on the man. Per the Boardwalk pilot DVD commentary: “We realized we’ll never know as much as Michael did,” said Winter.

4. BOARDWALK EMPIRE GOT THE SESAME STREET TREATMENT.

Leave it to Sesame Street to turn a TV show about gruesome murders and backroom alcohol deals into a G-rated lesson about compromise. In “Birdwalk Empire,” a gang of ducks led by “Nucky Ducky” and “Mallard Capone” go up against a crew of hot-headed chickens led by “Clucky Luciano” in a fight for the birdwalk turf. Thanks to “Agent Van Cuckoo” (modeled after Michael Shannon’s shady federal official Nelson Van Alden, down to a spot-on recreation of Shannon’s signature baritone), the “bunch of flappers” figure out a way to enjoy their beachside stroll in harmony. If only the Boardwalk characters had taken a page from the birds’ playbook ... eh, never mind—if that had actually happened, the show would’ve ended a lot sooner than season five.

5. A SCENE FEATURING A KU KLUX KLAN MEETING WAS SHOT IN HARLEM, CAUSING A BIT OF TREPIDATION.

Boardwalk Empire takes place predominantly in Atlantic City, but most of its shooting locations were in the greater New York City area. So when Winter noticed that a major scene calling for a big Ku Klux Klan meeting in the season one episode “Anastasia” was scheduled to be shot in Harlem, he was “a little nervous.” As he recounted on the DVD commentary for the episode, “We were very careful to make sure no extras walked outside in a Klan costume ... I just had visions of this being in the paper the next day.”

6. THE INSPIRATION FOR RICHARD HARROW CAME FROM AN ARTICLE ABOUT A WOMAN WHO CREATED MASKS FOR DISFIGURED SOLDIERS.

Jack Huston in 'Boardwalk Empire'
HBO

About midway through Boardwalk’s first season, viewers were introduced to a character who, despite his talent for killing (he was a skilled sharpshooter), would become the series’ most tragic figure. Richard Harrow (Jack Huston) had returned from the Great War a shattered man, both on the outside and on the inside, his mangled face (rendered via CGI) now covered by an equally creepy tin mask. He was an excellent reminder of the horrors that had taken place on the battlefields of Europe only a few years earlier while the rest of the country had moved on. While Richard wasn’t based on anyone in particular, executive producer Howard Korder said in the season one DVD commentary for Boardwalk episode “Paris Green” that the inspiration for the character came from an article he read in Smithsonian Magazine about a Boston sculptress named Anna Coleman Watts Ladd. Ladd created lifelike masks that hid the returning soldiers’ facial disfigurements.

7. ONLY FIVE MAIN CHARACTERS WERE STILL ALIVE BY THE CONCLUSION OF BOARDWALK EMPIRE’S FINALE.

Unless you were a real-life mobster, Boardwalk Empire tended to view its characters as expendable—even Nucky Thompson (which, given Buscemi’s track record of dying onscreen, was inevitable). As Korder semi-joked in the season two Blu-Ray commentary for the episode “Gimcrack and Bunkum,” “Anyone can die unless they have a Wikipedia entry.” That meant that infamous criminals such as Al Capone and Lucky Luciano—both of whom were main characters throughout the show’s entire run—were among the fortunate five to outlast Boardwalk’s 1931 expiration date. The other survivors were, justifiably, the three people Nucky had hurt the most: his estranged wife Margaret Thompson (Kelly Macdonald), his resentful younger brother Eli Thompson (Shea Whigham), and the permanently damaged Gillian Darmody (Gretchen Mol).

8. ALTHOUGH THE CHARACTER OF ESTHER RANDOLPH WAS FICTIONAL, HER BACKSTORY WAS THAT OF ASSISTANT U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL MABEL WALKER WILLEBRANDT.

Julianne Nicholson in 'Boardwalk Empire'
Macall B. Polay, HBO

One of the coolest female characters to go head-to-head with Boardwalk’s boys’ club had to be Esther Randolph (Julianne Nicholson). Introduced in season two as Nucky’s formidable election-fraud case foe, this fictional prosecutor had a fascinating background drawn from the life of Assistant U.S. Attorney General Mabel Walker Willebrandt. Like Willebrandt, Randolph had previously been a public defender in California who regularly represented prostitutes.

9. THE BEACH MATRON FINING ANGELA DARMODY’S SOON-TO-BE LOVER FOR SHOWING TOO MUCH LEG? THAT WAS A REAL THING.

In the season two episode “Two Boats and a Lifeguard,” Angela Darmody (Aleksa Palladino) witnesses a fellow female beachgoer get fined for what was then considered indecent exposure: not covering her legs with stockings. Not only were these modesty patrols a common sight at beaches during the 1920s (click here for a cringe-worthy photo of a male cop measuring a woman’s bare thigh), but according to this New York Times clipping, the Boardwalk scene in question was likely based on an actual incident: The year and location match up (Atlantic City, 1921), and the woman arrested was named Louise—just like Angela’s eventual new bedmate.

10. BOBBY CANNAVALE WAS THE SOLE CAST MEMBER TO SNAG AN ACTING EMMY FOR HIS SEASON THREE ARC.

Chris Caldovino, Bobby Cannavale, and Charlie Cox in 'Boardwalk Empire'
Macall B. Polay, HBO

Talk about making it count: Bobby Cannavale only appeared in a single season—as Nucky’s season three antagonist Gyp Rosetti—but managed to walk away with the series’ lone acting Emmy. After Cannavale’s monstrous character met a well-deserved death (stabbed in the back by one of his own men!), the Vinyl star took home the Outstanding Supporting Actor trophy in 2013. Despite its dearth of awards in the acting categories (the show did slightly better at the Golden Globes and the SAG Awards), Boardwalk still wrapped its run with a total of 57 Emmy nominations and 20 wins.

11. THE SERIES’ TIME JUMP BETWEEN ITS PENULTIMATE AND FINAL SEASON WASN’T THE MOST SEAMLESS OF SHIFTS.

Following its fourth season, which took place in 1924, Boardwalk Empire’s story lines took a pretty hard turn: The fifth and final outing skipped ahead seven years to 1931, placing the series’ unscrupulous characters at the twilight of Prohibition. From a narrative perspective, this choice made sense, as Winter had wanted to finish the show at least close to the end of America’s questionable experiment with making alcohol illegal. What also likely contributed to this abrupt time change was HBO’s decision to cancel the series, along with a downsized eight-episode order for the final season (as opposed to the usual 12). For the most part, Winter wrapped up everyone’s story arc nicely—except for Stuhlbarg’s Rothstein. In reality, the legendary numbers fixer had the bad sense to die in 1928, putting Stuhlbarg out of a job for Boardwalk’s fifth season and turning the character into a footnote.

12. IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST EXPENSIVE SERIES EVER PRODUCED.

Michael K Williams in 'Boardwalk Empire'
HBO

Another possible reason for Boardwalk’s cancellation? Its hefty price tag. Between the period cars, a $2 million set of the 1920s-era Atlantic City boardwalk, and the extravagant wardrobes worn by both the men and the women (Michael Kenneth Williams’s Chalky White always had the best outfits, IMO), this was not a series that could be done on the cheap. The pilot episode alone was budgeted at a whopping $18 million, whereas average episodes reportedly cost an estimated $5 million each.

13. THAT SALACIOUS-SOUNDING DITTY BUGSY SIEGEL SANG AFTER BEING CAPTURED BY NUCKY IN SEASON FIVE’S PENULTIMATE EPISODE WAS NOT MADE UP FOR THE SHOW.

Before Michael Zegen garnered notices as Midge Maisel’s philandering Jewish husband in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, he was honing his philandering Jewish husband chops as aspiring gangster Benny “Bugsy” Siegel on Boardwalk Empire. In one of his more hilarious moments, Zegen’s Siegel, having been kidnapped by Nucky and tied to a chair, chose to annoy his captor by loudly crooning about “My Girl’s P*ssy.” Turns out Bugsy wasn’t just being obnoxious: He was singing a real tune from 1931.

14. IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE DAUGHTER MAITLAND’S HAUNTING, A CAPPELLA VERSION OF “RIVER OF JORDAN,” MARGOT BINGHAM INSISTED ON RECORDING THE SONG ON SET, RATHER THAN IN THE STUDIO.

As she told Rolling Stone, Margot Bingham (Netflix’s She’s Gotta Have It), who joined Boardwalk Empire in season four as tortured blues singer Daughter Maitland, “fought” against recording her evocative rendition of “River of Jordan” in a studio. Because Daughter initially sings the traditional tune while riding in a car (the extended version of the track played over the closing credits) during the episode “White Horse Pike,” Bingham didn’t see the sense in going into the studio, where all of the raw elements of her performance would be scrubbed away.

“The sound department was like, ‘We’re going to pick up feed,’” said Bingham. “I totally understood that, but at the same time [I figured], ‘If I’m going to be singing it in a car then I should stay consistent to the song.’” Bingham’s argument won out: “I sat in the car, and they closed down the whole set and everyone was super-quiet and we just had the microphone and boom come in and we recorded it there.”

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