6 Explosive Fart Controversies
Last week, the world of professional darts became embroiled in controversy after a player competing in the quarter finals of a major tournament partly blamed his loss on his opponent’s noxious flatulence. The loser, Wesley Harms, told the Dutch television station RTL7, "It’ll take me two nights to lose this smell from my nose." (Harms’s rival Gary Anderson denied being the fart’s founder, saying, "It was bad. It was a stink. It thought it was him, and he started playing better, I went, 'He must needed to get some wind out.'") Now that the niche world of competitive darts is clouded in Fartgate, it seems like an appropriate time to step outside and dutifully reminisce on a few other gassy controversies.
1. German police fine man over $1000 for letting it rip
In 2016, police in Berlin detained a man at a party and asked for his ID. Instead of offering his name, the man gave the police a whiff of his unique perfume, sending two rocketing farts in the direction of the officers. The police summarily fined the offender €900 (just over $1000) for disrespecting law enforcement. The ensuing "Crazy Toot Trial" would involve 23 officials and prompt a public outcry over wasteful public spending.
2. Fart sparks regime-change in Ancient Egypt
Around 570 BCE, the Egyptian Pharaoh King Apries had a problem: Invaders had slaughtered some of his soldiers and people's morale was low. So Apries sent his best general, Amasis, to quell the troops' discontent. Instead, the troops rallied around Amasis and declared him their personal king. When King Apries sent a messenger to accost Amasis, Amasis let out a fart and effectively said, "You can send that message back to the king!" Hearing this, King Apries unwisely decided to punish his messenger. That decision made King Apries even more unpopular and gave the gassy Amasis a chance to stage a revolt and successfully oust his old boss.
3. Cargo plane makes emergency stop because of reported goat gas
In 2015, a Singapore Airlines cargo flight was forced to make an emergency stop in Bali after more than 2000 goats reportedly filled the cargo hold with too many toots, setting off the fire alarm. "The smoke indication was identified to be the result of exhaust gases and manure produced by the sheep," The Aviation Herald reported. Despite this initial report, Singapore Airlines refused to acknowledge that the cause of the stopover was fart-related.
4. Fart fuels mid-flight fight
On a 2018 flight from Dubai to Amsterdam, a Transavia Airlines plane had to make an unscheduled stop in Vienna after an elderly man refused to stop cutting the cheese—even after receiving instructions from the pilot to cease firing. The man's stinkers fueled so much consternation among the surrounding passengers that a fight broke out, prompting police to remove four people from the flight.
5. Canada's Parliament debates the appropriateness of saying "fart"
In November 2016, Canada’s parliament began to spontaneously debate whether it was appropriate for members to use the word fart on the chamber floor. The discussion rose after Conservative MP Michelle Rempel asked, “Why does the government treat Alberta like a fart in the room that nobody wants to talk about or acknowledge?” Eventually, the rules regarding “unparliamentary language” had to be read aloud and the offense was taken under advisement. (You can read a transcript of the exchange here.)
6. Secret Service takes the blame for Presidential retarade
The Secret Service will not only take a bullet for the president, they’ll also take the blame for the Commander-in-Chief’s errant cheek squeaks: Gerald Ford, the 38th President of the United States, would often fart and blame it on his Secret Service agents, loudly saying, "Jesus, was that you? Show some class." (This must have come as a shock to Lyndon B. Johnson, who once said, “Jerry Ford is so dumb he can’t fart and chew gum at the same time.")