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9 Birds Caught Using Some Very Naughty Language

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If you’re going to teach Polly how to talk, you’d better watch what you say! Here are nine of the world’s most “fowl”-mouthed avians.

1. Pet Cockatoo Cusses Out Human Neighbors

When a couple breaks up, things can get ugly—but it’s not every day that a swearing cockatoo gets thrown into the mix. In 2012, Lynne Taylor of Warwick, Rhode Island was accused of teaching her pet bird, Willy, to scream expletives at her former husband, Craig Fontaine, and his new girlfriend, both of whom lived next door. One of these outbursts was filmed and shown to the local police department, where an officer claimed that he was able to hear Willy shouting “‘f*** off’ and ‘f****** whore’” in the footage. Taylor was subsequently ticketed for violating a regional noise ordinance, a charge that was eventually dropped.

2. Potty-Mouthed Parrot Teaches Feathered Friends How To Swear

To date, “Barney the Swearing Parrot” of Nuneaton, England has verbally assaulted a vicar, two law enforcement officials, a pair of old ladies, and even the mayor’s wife. “It was quite horrifying to find out that he was swearing,” says Geoff Grewcox, director of the Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary, where the infamous blue and gold macaw currently resides. Barney’s also had a bad influence on some of Grewcox’s other birds, some of whom have actually begun imitating his vulgar vocabulary.

3. Mr. T Told to Watch His Mouth

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This is one bird that had to kick a very bad habit. Tropical Inc. of Birmingham, Alabama specializes in producing educational programs about exotic critters for nearby schools and universities. When a green-winged macaw named Mr. T was given to the organization, animal trainer Steve Rowlands quickly realized that the bird’s dialect needed a bit of cleansing before the staff could safely display him in public. “[He’s] picked up some interesting phrases and words which are not appropriate for some venues we go to,” Rowland explained. “Parrots like Mr. T can live to 90-years-old so he’s still only a youngster at [age seven]… I’m sure he’ll outgrow this rebellious stage soon.”

4. Adopted Cockatoo Swears at New Owner in Viral YouTube Video

In 2011, a YouTuber by the name of Furman Campbell posted this hilarious clip in which he gets into a highly NSFW argument with Baby, his newly-acquired fowl. Since then, their entertaining exchange has drawn over one million views.

5. Bird Uses Taiwanese Profanity

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Pika the African Grey parrot is knows quite a lot of words. Unfortunately, many shouldn’t be repeated. According to the Taipei Times, he lives at a food stand in Taiwan’s Kaohsiung province and has begun “hurling insults and discouragement” at its customers, along with a slew of regional obscenities. Despite this, the winged detractor has become a beloved figure within his community.

6. Gutter-Mouthed Lory Seeks New Home

Finding a family can be difficult for any abandoned animal, especially one that curses like a sailor. Such is the burden of Beaky, a lory whose lingo has raised a few eyebrows over the years. “He knows some words that possibly are for adults only,” says Sally Jones of the Leybourne Animal Centre. Taking this information into account, in 2012, the British Royal Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals began advertising that Beaky was in need of a good home but warned that “new owners shouldn’t mind bad language as he comes out with some rude words.” 

7. Mynah Bird Gets Kicked Out of Aviary for Insulting Tourists

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When an impressionable avian at China’s Jiufeng Forest Zoo picked up a few expletives and started re-using them in front of startled visitors, officials decided it was time to put the critter in rehab. The offending Mynah bird has since been forced to listen to tapes containing “polite words” in a separate enclosure until its demeanor improves.

8. Parrot Discovers The Wonderful World of Interjections

It turns out that kids aren’t the only ones R-rated films can negatively affect. The owner of this bawdry macaw claims that he learned to shout “What the f***?!” from an unidentified “Hollywood movie.”

9. Bird Cusses Through a Thick Welsh Accent

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Sarah Fisk, a 34-year-old wife and mother, felt that a homeless grey parrot would make a perfect addition to her Bristol household. Named Basil, the bird had previously lived in Wales, a fact that’s been reflected in his vernacular. “His accent is so strong sometimes that we don’t understand what he’s saying,” says Fisk, “but it definitely sounds Welsh.” Regrettably, the twang in his voice isn’t the only thing Basil picked up from his former owners. “He was very quiet and shy for the first day,” she reflects, “but then all of a sudden he started talking and rather surprised us with his adult vocabulary.” While visiting nearby veterinarian Mandy Stone, Basil chirped so many nasty names at the nurses that Fisk felt compelled to formally “apologize for his bad manners.”

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Big Questions
Should You Keep Your Pets Indoors During the Solar Eclipse?
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By now, you probably know what you’ll be doing on August 21, when a total solar eclipse makes its way across the continental United States. You’ve had your safety glasses ready since January (and have confirmed that they’ll actually protect your retinas), you’ve picked out the perfect vantage point in your area for the best view, and you’ve memorized Nikon’s tips for how to take pictures of this rare celestial phenomenon. Still, it feels like you’re forgetting something … and it’s probably the thing that's been right under your nose, and sitting on your lap, the whole time: your pets.

Even if you’ve never witnessed a solar eclipse, you undoubtedly know that you’re never supposed to look directly at the sun during one. But what about your four-legged family members? Shouldn’t Fido be fitted with a pair of eclipse glasses before he heads out for his daily walk? Could Princess Kitty be in danger of having her peepers singed if she’s lounging on her favorite windowsill? While, like humans, looking directly at the sun during a solar eclipse does pose the potential of doing harm to a pet’s eyes, it’s unlikely that the thought would even occur to the little ball of fluff.

“It’s no different than any other day,” Angela Speck, co-chair of the AAS National Solar Eclipse Task Force, explained during a NASA briefing in June. “On a normal day, your pets don’t try to look at the sun and therefore don’t damage their eyes, so on this day they’re not going to do it either. It is not a concern, letting them outside. All that’s happened is we’ve blocked out the sun, it’s not more dangerous. So I think that people who have pets want to think about that. I’m not going to worry about my cat.”

Dr. Jessica Vogelsang, a veterinarian, author, and founder of pawcurious, echoed Speck’s statement, but allowed that there’s no such thing as being too cautious. “It’s hard for me to criticize such a well-meaning warning, because there’s really no harm in following the advice to keep pets inside during the eclipse,” Vogelsang told Snopes. “It’s better to be too cautious than not cautious enough. But in the interest of offering a realistic risk assessment, the likelihood of a pet ruining their eyes the same way a human would during an eclipse is much lower—not because the damage would be any less were they to stare at the sun, but because, from a behavior standpoint, dogs and cats just don’t have any interest in doing so. We tend to extrapolate a lot of things from people to pets that just doesn’t bear out, and this is one of them.

“I’ve seen lots of warnings from the astronomy community and the human medical community about the theoretical dangers of pets and eclipses, but I’m not sure if any of them really know animal behavior all that well," Vogelsang continued. "It’s not like there’s a big outcry from the wildlife community to go chase down coyotes and hawks and bears and give them goggles either. While we in the veterinary community absolutely appreciate people being concerned about their pets’ wellbeing, this is a non-issue for us.”

The bigger issue, according to several experts, would be with pets who are already sensitive to Mother Nature. "If you have the sort of pet that's normally sensitive to shifts in the weather, they might be disturbed by just the whole vibe because the temperature will drop and the sky will get dark,” Melanie Monteiro, a pet safety expert and author of The Safe-Dog Handbook: A Complete Guide to Protecting Your Pooch, Indoors and Out, told TODAY.

“If [your pets] have learned some association with it getting darker, they will show that behavior or at a minimum they get confused because the timeframe does not correspond,” Dr. Carlo Siracusa of Penn Vet Hospital told CBS Philly. “You might put the blinds down, but not exactly when the dark is coming but when it is still light.” 

While Monteiro again reasserts that, "Dogs and cats don't normally look up into the sun, so you don't need to get any special eye protection for your pets,” she says that it’s never a bad idea to take some extra precautions. So if you’re headed out to an eclipse viewing party, why not do your pets a favor and leave them at home. They won’t even know what they’re missing.

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Big Questions
Why Can't Dogs Eat Chocolate?
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Even if you don’t have a dog, you probably know that they can’t eat chocolate; it’s one of the most well-known toxic substances for canines (and felines, for that matter). But just what is it about chocolate that is so toxic to dogs? Why can't dogs eat chocolate when we eat it all the time without incident?

It comes down to theobromine, a chemical in chocolate that humans can metabolize easily, but dogs cannot. “They just can’t break it down as fast as humans and so therefore, when they consume it, it can cause illness,” Mike Topper, president of the American Veterinary Medical Association, tells Mental Floss.

The toxic effects of this slow metabolization can range from a mild upset stomach to seizures, heart failure, and even death. If your dog does eat chocolate, they may get thirsty, have diarrhea, and become hyperactive and shaky. If things get really bad, that hyperactivity could turn into seizures, and they could develop an arrhythmia and have a heart attack.

While cats are even more sensitive to theobromine, they’re less likely to eat chocolate in the first place. They’re much more picky eaters, and some research has found that they can’t taste sweetness. Dogs, on the other hand, are much more likely to sit at your feet with those big, mournful eyes begging for a taste of whatever you're eating, including chocolate. (They've also been known to just swipe it off the counter when you’re not looking.)

If your dog gets a hold of your favorite candy bar, it’s best to get them to the vet within two hours. The theobromine is metabolized slowly, “therefore, if we can get it out of the stomach there will be less there to metabolize,” Topper says. Your vet might be able to induce vomiting and give your dog activated charcoal to block the absorption of the theobromine. Intravenous fluids can also help flush it out of your dog’s system before it becomes lethal.

The toxicity varies based on what kind of chocolate it is (milk chocolate has a lower dose of theobromine than dark chocolate, and baking chocolate has an especially concentrated dose), the size of your dog, and whether or not the dog has preexisting health problems, like kidney or heart issues. While any dog is going to get sick, a small, old, or unhealthy dog won't be able to handle the toxic effects as well as a large, young, healthy dog could. “A Great Dane who eats two Hershey’s kisses may not have the same [reaction] that a miniature Chihuahua that eats four Hershey’s kisses has,” Topper explains. The former might only get diarrhea, while the latter probably needs veterinary attention.

Even if you have a big dog, you shouldn’t just play it by ear, though. PetMD has a handy calculator to see just what risk levels your dog faces if he or she eats chocolate, based on the dog’s size and the amount eaten. But if your dog has already ingested chocolate, petMD shouldn’t be your go-to source. Call your vet's office, where they are already familiar with your dog’s size, age, and condition. They can give you the best advice on how toxic the dose might be and how urgent the situation is.

So if your dog eats chocolate, you’re better off paying a few hundred dollars at the vet to make your dog puke than waiting until it’s too late.

Have you got a Big Question you'd like us to answer? If so, let us know by emailing us at bigquestions@mentalfloss.com.

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