Get Paid to Write Dirty Jokes for Cards Against Humanity

tom_bullock, Wikimedia Commons // CC BY 2.0

If you've exhausted every possible joke combination in Cards Against Humanity, the makers of the game have a new outlet for your wit. Apply to be a contributing writer and you could get paid to write the gross, bizarre, and occasionally offensive cards that go into new editions of the game.

For the uninitiated, here's how Cards Against Humanity works: A player draws a black card, which has a sentence with a section missing from it, and puts it down for the group to see. The rest of the players then put down white cards with words or phrases that could potentially fill in the blank. The player who comes up with the best joke wins the round.

In order for the jokes to be funny, the cards themselves need to be well written. That's where the contributing writers come in. As the job posting explains, the new writers will make $40 an hour "writing poop jokes as needed." The position is remote and part-time.

To see if you're a good fit for the gig, Cards Against Humanity is asking that you submit ideas for 15 white cards and five black cards that best exhibit your humor and writing skills. They've even included a handy primer on "how to write cards that don't blow" for applicants who are unsure of where to start. "A good black card allows players to subvert an expected tone or logic," the guidelines explain, while white cards should have "distinct voice, perspective, or syntax." The page also includes general guidelines on structure and the Cards Against Humanity style.

To apply, submit your ideas through the website before August 31. And if you're looking for some offbeat inspiration, this 19th-century version of the game should kickstart your creativity.

Sweet Gig: Cadbury Is Hiring Chocolate Tasters

Matt Cardy, Getty Images
Matt Cardy, Getty Images

If you’re tired of waiting around for Cadbury Creme Eggs to reappear on store shelves in the lead-up to Easter, you might want to go directly to the source instead. As Insider reports, the maker of Cadbury, Milka, and Toblerone chocolate is looking to hire four part-time chocolate tasters.

The company, Mondelēz International, also produces Oreos and Chips Ahoy!, as well as non-chocolatey brands like Ritz, Sour Patch Kids, and Trident. In its job post, Mondelēz says it’s looking for someone with “a passion for confectionery and taste buds for detection” to sample new products and provide honest feedback. Applicants who make it past the initial review stage will be subjected to several “choco-challenges” to see if they can distinguish between confections with subtle differences.

While chocolate testers would certainly need to have a taste for sweet treats, the job isn’t demanding enough to spoil your appetite. Only about eight hours per week are required, making it an ideal side gig, college job, or opportunity for stay-at-home parents to get back into the workforce. The position is based 39 miles west of London, in Wokingham, England, but the post doesn’t say anything about citizenship requirements, so it’s presumably open to Americans, Canadians, and other English speakers.

New recruits to the 12-person team will be paid an hourly wage of about $14.30 (comparatively, the UK’s current minimum wage is about $10.40 for workers aged 25 and up). While it’s not going to make you rich, it’s a job many chocoholics would be willing to do for free. The company is expecting a high number of applicants, and explained that there's no use in following up if you haven't heard back within 14 days of applying.

Last year, the company advertised a similar role and received 6000 applications from around the world. If this sounds like a pretty sweet gig to you, you can apply on Mondelēz’s website. The deadline to apply is March 8, 2019.

[h/t Insider]

Locana, Italy Is Paying Families $10,000 to Move There

Not long after Sambuca, Italy enticed people to move there with $1 houses, a different quaint Italian village is offering an even better deal. People reports that Locana, a town located in the Italian Alps, will pay you $10,300 over three years to move there—but the catch is that you have to have at least one child.

Locana is one of many towns in rural Italy that has seen its population age and decline in recent decades. There are roughly 1500 residents in Locana today compared to the 7000 that lived there a century ago, and with 40 deaths and only 10 births per year, the downward trend isn't stopping.

By paying people, specifically families, to move to town, Locana mayor Giovanni Bruno Mattiet hopes to rebuild the community and renew hope for its future. A new population of young people would help keep Locana's school open (the institution comes close to shutting down each year). New residents can work remotely, but Mattiet also welcomes them to take over one of the dozens of defunct shops, bars, and restaurants in town.

Candidates can be foreigners or Italian residents, and they should make a salary of at least $8000 a year. When they're not working, they can partake in the many activities the Gran Paradiso mountain reserve has to offer, such as rock climbing, ice skating, and fishing.

If for some reason getting paid to move to a picturesque town in the Italian Alps isn't your thing, similar offers are sometimes made in the U.S. Last year, both Tulsa, Oklahoma and Vermont lured remote workers with $10,000 checks.

[h/t People]

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