Get Paid to Write Dirty Jokes for Cards Against Humanity

tom_bullock, Wikimedia Commons // CC BY 2.0

If you've exhausted every possible joke combination in Cards Against Humanity, the makers of the game have a new outlet for your wit. Apply to be a contributing writer and you could get paid to write the gross, bizarre, and occasionally offensive cards that go into new editions of the game.

For the uninitiated, here's how Cards Against Humanity works: A player draws a black card, which has a sentence with a section missing from it, and puts it down for the group to see. The rest of the players then put down white cards with words or phrases that could potentially fill in the blank. The player who comes up with the best joke wins the round.

In order for the jokes to be funny, the cards themselves need to be well written. That's where the contributing writers come in. As the job posting explains, the new writers will make $40 an hour "writing poop jokes as needed." The position is remote and part-time.

To see if you're a good fit for the gig, Cards Against Humanity is asking that you submit ideas for 15 white cards and five black cards that best exhibit your humor and writing skills. They've even included a handy primer on "how to write cards that don't blow" for applicants who are unsure of where to start. "A good black card allows players to subvert an expected tone or logic," the guidelines explain, while white cards should have "distinct voice, perspective, or syntax." The page also includes general guidelines on structure and the Cards Against Humanity style.

To apply, submit your ideas through the website before August 31. And if you're looking for some offbeat inspiration, this 19th-century version of the game should kickstart your creativity.

You Could Get Paid $2000 to Binge-Watch 100 Hours of TV This October

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iStock

With countless hours of streamable content available online, some people treat binge-watching like it's their job. Now it can be: As Thrillist reports, HowToWatch.com is looking to pay someone $2000 to watch 100 hours of streaming television this October.

As the website's professional binge-watcher, you will be responsible for judging the quality of seven major streaming platforms—including DIRECTV NOW, fuboTV, Hulu with Live TV, Philo, PlayStation Vue, Sling TV, and YouTube TV—via subscriptions courtesy of HowToWatch.com. You must watch roughly 14 hours of programming from each service, and everything you tune in to needs to be live. (That means you can watch current sports, news, and broadcast shows, but not re-runs of Friends.)

And you won't get away with playing the TV in the background while you cook or browse your phone: While using each streaming platform, you'll be required to assess the quality of its service on a score card. You will also be expected to post about the experience on social media a few times.

HowToWatch.com is seeking a candidate with a strong social media presence, the ability to recognize the difference between a high-quality and low-quality stream, and a passion for television. If the job sounds like a great fit, you can submit your personal information, social media links, and a brief message stating your case here. The deadline to apply is October 4, and whoever gets the position must complete their 100 hours of streaming by November 1.

[h/t Thrillist]

Animal Sanctuary on the Greek Island of Syros Wants to Pay You to Take Care of 55 Cats

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iStock

Before you can fully commit to becoming a cat person, you need the space and the money to support your feline family. Thankfully, a cat sanctuary in Greece is willing to offer you all of the above. As TIME reports, God's Little People Cat Rescue wants to pay you to move to the island of Syros and look after all 55 of its cats.

According to the listing posted to the shelter's Facebook page, the job comes with an undisclosed salary; a small, semidetached house with fully covered utilities; and a private garden with views of the Aegean Sea. You will be responsible for feeding the cats, giving them their medicine, and handling all the general duties that come with running a cat sanctuary. The ideal candidate has some veterinary training, is 45 or older, and can drive the cats to the vet in a manual-transmission car if necessary. The job also requires you to handle feral and/or non-sociable cats at times, so it's best if you have some "cat-whispering skills."

The posting reads, "We are located in a secluded nature preserved area which is very tranquil and quiet in winter time but busy during the summer. You’ll no doubt thrive best if you are the type of person who appreciates nature and likes tranquility—and rest[s] comfortably in your own company. That said, you’ll never feel lonely in the company of the cats and you’ll be expected to live with a small handful of cats in your house."

After a volunteer period of a few weeks, you will be working about four hours a day for a minimum of six months beginning November 1, 2018. To apply, send your photo and resume to joanbowell@yahoo.com. There are plenty of cat photos from the sanctuary to peruse online as you wait for a response.

[h/t TIME]

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