10 Monogamous Animals That Just Want To Settle Down

iStock
iStock

They can't put a ring on it, but when these animals find a mate, they're ready to commit.

1. Gibbons

The furry, tree-swinging gibbon doesn't monkey around with a lot of partners in its 35- to 40-year lifespan. Males and females form strong bonds and exhibit a surprising amount of relationship equality as they raise a family. They care for their young together, groom each other, and spend quality time vocalizing and hanging out. But not every relationship is perfect. Cheating, breakups, and remarriage all occur within the gibbon community. Sexting and online dating, however, do not. Yet.

2. Schistosoma mansoni worms

What's a nice girl like you doing in a human like this? There's nothing romantic about Schistosoma Mansoni, a parasitic flatworm that uses freshwater snails to get to humans. Once it attaches to human skin, it usually penetrates the epidermis through a hair follicle and deposits larvae that feed on blood in the lymphatic system and lungs. When the larvae migrate to the heart, they start looking for The One. Male and female larvae monogamously pair off and eventually travel to the mesenteric veins that drain blood from the intestines. Together, they reach sexual maturity and produce about 300 eggs per day. Postively heartwarming.

3. Wolves

It's usually "'til death do us part" for wolves. In the wild, they start breeding by the age of two. Mated pairs build their wolf pack by having a new litter every year. (Most wolves don't experience reproductive senescence, either, and can have babies until they die.) So when you see a lone wolf, have some sympathy. He's single and looking for love, mourning his dead partner, or, in extreme cases, nursing a breakup with the pack.

4. Beavers

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Only about 3 percent of mammals are socially monogamous, but leave it to beavers to show us how it's done. After mating, the rodents spend as much time maintaining their relationships as they do their dams and lodges. The males and females co-parent their young and stay together until one partner dies. Attached beavers occasionally philander, but it's not enough to break up the family.

5. Shingleback skinks

Unlike most reptiles, the shingleback skink of Australia only has eyes for one mate. Males make a series of moves—including caressing and licking females—before copulating. Courtship takes months, but partnered bliss can last over 20 years.

6. Barn owls

Some 90 percent of birds are socially monogamous, but that doesn't mean they're completely faithful to one mate. Barn owls, however, put all their eggs in one basket. Males woo females with screeches and gifts of dead mice. If the female responds with croaking sounds, she's basically saying, "I do."

7. Bald eagles 

pair of bald eagles
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Long-distance relationships aren't easy, but bald eagles thrive in them. The birds fly solo during winter and migration, reconnecting with their mates each breeding season. Most eagles pair off by the age of five and stay together at least 20 years.

8. French angelfish

pair of french angelfish
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Don't let the name fool you. These lovers are aggressive fighters that do almost everything as a pair—hunting, hanging out in the reef, and defending their territory. And you thought your ex was clingy.

9. Octopods

The brainiest invertebrate of them all usually keeps others at eight arms' length. But when it's time to mate, they dedicate their lives to one partner. Well, sort of. Octopuses only live one or two years, so they spawn once and then die shortly after. But the Pacific striped octopus is an exception, with the ability to lay multiple clutches of eggs. Instead of mating once at a distance to avoid being eaten, these creatures mate face to face a number of times and even appear to kiss and fondle each other's suckers. Get a room, you two!

10. Swans

pair of swans
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We've already established that birds of a feather like to flock together, but the commitment of the male swan really stands out. In addition to helping their mates build nests, they're one of only two male birds in the Anatidae family that share egg incubation duties.

This Stylish Cardboard Box Is Designed to Be Your Cat’s New Favorite Hideout

Scott Salzman
Scott Salzman

You can buy your cat a fancy bed or perch, but when it comes right down to it, your feline friend is probably going to be more eager to curl up in the cardboard box that it arrived in. So why not just cut out the part where you spend time and money picking out something your cat couldn’t care less about? Just get a really nice box. That’s the premise behind the Purrfect Cat Box, a cardboard box specifically tailored to cats’ needs.

While every cat is finicky in his or her own way, almost all cats love a good cardboard box. (Seriously, it’s science.) Squeezing into a cozy box makes cats feel protected, and, since cats like warmer temperatures, the insulating cardboard also helps keep them at their preferred level of toasty.

Designed by Colorado-based inventor Scott Salzman, the Purrfect Cat Box is made to be just the right size for ultimate kitty comfort. At about the size of a shoebox, it’s big enough for most cats to squeeze into without being cramped—though Salzman doesn’t specify whether it will work for big breeds like Maine Coons—but small enough that they still feel protected inside. It has a small cutout in the front to allow your cat to peek his head outside the box, and, most importantly, to get in a really good chin scratch.

While we humans might find cardboard cars or cardboard Taj Mahal replicas adorable, most cats just want a plain box that makes them feel safe and comfortable. The geometric-patterned Purrfect Cat Box walks the line between utilitarian and chic, making the empty cardboard box in your living room a little bit less of an eyesore.

Plus, it’s cardboard-priced. At $6 a box, it's about what you'd pay to have a regular cardboard box full of anything from Amazon delivered to your door, but it’s still inexpensive enough that if your cat destroys it, it’s easy enough to throw in the recycle bin and get a new one.

Get it on Indiegogo.

Signalman Jack: The Baboon Who Worked for the Railroad—and Never Made a Mistake

Wikimedia Commons // Public Domain
Wikimedia Commons // Public Domain

One day in the 1880s, a peg-legged railway signalman named James Edwin Wide was visiting a buzzing South African market when he witnessed something surreal: A chacma baboon driving an oxcart. Impressed by the primate’s skills, Wide bought him, named him Jack, and made him his pet and personal assistant.

Wide needed the help. Years earlier, he had lost both his legs in a work accident, which made his half-mile commute to the train station extremely difficult for him. So the first thing he trained the primate to do was push him to and from work in a small trolley. Soon, Jack was also helping with household chores, sweeping floors and taking out the trash.

But the signal box is where Jack truly shined. As trains approached the rail switches at the Uitenhage train station, they’d toot their whistle a specific number of times to alert the signalman which tracks to change. By watching his owner, Jack picked up the pattern and started tugging on the levers himself.

Soon, Wide was able to kick back and relax as his furry helper did all of the work switching the rails. According to The Railway Signal, Wide “trained the baboon to such perfection that he was able to sit in his cabin stuffing birds, etc., while the animal, which was chained up outside, pulled all the levers and points.”

As the story goes, one day a posh train passenger staring out the window saw that a baboon, and not a human, was manning the gears and complained to railway authorities. Rather than fire Wide, the railway managers decided to resolve the complaint by testing the baboon’s abilities. They came away astounded.

“Jack knows the signal whistle as well as I do, also every one of the levers,” wrote railway superintendent George B. Howe, who visited the baboon sometime around 1890. “It was very touching to see his fondness for his master. As I drew near they were both sitting on the trolley. The baboon’s arms round his master’s neck, the other stroking Wide’s face.”

Jack was reportedly given an official employment number, and was paid 20 cents a day and half a bottle of beer weekly. Jack passed away in 1890, after developing tuberculosis. He worked the rails for nine years without ever making a mistake—evidence that perfectionism may be more than just a human condition.

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