Kyle Sulerud is the father of a one-week-old baby boy, and he turned to Google to see his parenting future. A lot of lying, bedwetting, and iPhone use. Here are the autocomplete results for kids of every age, and some bonus searches about adults:

As with any Google Autocomplete project, the results can vary slightly depending on your own search history and location.

See also: Why is your state so ________? and Why is that country so ________? You can keep up with Kyle on his site or Twitter.