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15 Weird Things Celebrities Have Autographed

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eBay, via Yahoo

We’ve all seen videos of rock stars signing women’s breasts, even their butts. There are even super fans who have celebrity autographs tattooed on their skin. In fact, signing body parts isn’t even that weird these days. Here are a few of the strangest things we could find autographed by celebrities.

1. A Toilet Seat

According to the eBayer who put up this item for sale, Sister Hazel performed a concert at Wingate University a while back. At some point, they needed to use the bathroom, and the eBayer’s apartment was nearby—so as a thank you, they signed his toilet seat. As of the time of this writing, the item is going for $58.50, but there are still four days left for the price to skyrocket.

2. A Dog

NASCAR racer Kasey Kahne says he "thought it was weird to sign a dog. He didn't have much hair, so [I was] signing his back—that was kind of odd." 

3. A Twinkie

What’s weirder than autographing a sealed Twinkie? Going on eBay to bid on a Twinkie you already autographed. But that’s what baseball player David Price did after the Hostess shutdown in 2012. While Yahoo News doesn’t have a report on whether or not the pitcher actually won the Twinkie, or even if he actually bid on it (the final bid ended at $56), he did say in his Twitter account that if he won the item, he would save it and give it to his kids at some point. I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of any more meaningful thing for a father to give his child than a Twinkie he signed.

When asked if that was the weirdest thing he ever signed, Price said that honor went to a baby’s forehead.

4. A Grilled Cheese

Los Angeles Kings (and Team USA) goalie Jonathan Quick says someone once asked him to sign a grilled cheese sandwich. "It wouldn't be that bad if it was still intact, but there were two bites taken out of it, and he handed it to me," Quick said. "There was still saliva on it. So that was kinda weird."

5. Babies

As it turns out, people asking professional athletes to sign their babies isn’t as rare as you might think. Here’s a photo from @NBASummerLeague of NBA player Nate Robinson signing one, though I suppose he should be glad it’s only the kid’s back.

According to basketball player Marcin Gortat, “I recently signed a forehead of a freshly born baby, which was ridiculous. And I said, ‘Why would you want to do that?’ and the lady said, ‘It’s gonna be a sign he’s gonna be a basketball player.’ So, for some reason, I don’t know why I signed it, why I did it, I felt bad for this kid. But at the end of the day I realized I would never do this again.” Probably a good policy.

6. A Fast Food Container

Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco autographs a lot of stuff. But the weirdest, he says, was a Filet-O-Fish box from McDonald's.

7. A Diaper

For those who want the powers and prowess of a top athlete to wear off on their infant, but don’t want their babies to be signed directly, there’s always diapers. And during the last Olympic games, one lucky fan was able to win a diaper autographed by U.S. Olympic goldmedalistsr Noelle Pikus-Pace and Chad Hedrick courtesy of And Twins Make 5. No word on whether or not the winner actually used the diaper on their baby or not.

8. A Tampon

Photo courtesy ofReddit user CreativelyBankrupt

You might not have ever heard of The FP and you might not ever see the movie. But while the filmmakers, the Trost Bros., may not be household names, there’s still a reason you might care about their autographs—they come on a tampon when you buy the DVD from Drafthouse films. Apparently, there’s a meaningful scene in the movie involving a tampon.

9. A Jock Strap

Rugby player Ben Cohen once signed a jock strap, but that’s not quite as dirty as it sounds—he signed it for a charity auction to support GMFA, a gay men’s health charity in Britain. The jock strap must have garnered some good interest because it went for $460.

10. Underwear

Speaking of undergarments, Baseball Hall of Famer Jim Palmer once signed a pair of underwear (unworn, though), which were sold on eBay last August. In case you’re wondering how much a pair of autographed tighty-whiteys can go for, these specific ones sold for $69.99.

11. A Leather Whip

Hockey player Karl Alzner of the Washington Capitals says he was once asked to sign a woman’s leather whip. "It was odd," he said. "I don’t know what it was for and I don’t want to think about it."

12. A Sock

You have to be a real fan to want a sock signed by your favorite athlete. Oddly, professional wrestler Mick Foley actually autographed a number socks at one point—enough to have them individually numbered and sold on the Walmart website.

Foley’s socks were new though, but a recent eBay auction had a listing for a game-worn autographed sock from NHL player John McIntyre. Apparently even the most diehard fans know how bad a sock shoved in hockey skates for a whole game will smell, because this one-of-a-kind piece of sports memorabilia only went for $21.

13. A Vibrator

Lots of ladies love Sons of Anarchy star Charlie Hunnam, but only one of them was happy to have him sign their vibrator and post a photo of it on Tumblr. If you’re wondering what an actor might write on such an item, Charlie scribbled out “Have Fun." For the sake of being SFW, I’m going to omit this image, but if you want to see him autographic the item in question or the finished signature, just visit the River of Life Tumblr link here.

14. A Prosthetic Leg

Mark McGwire, one of the all-time home run hitting champions of baseball, once signed a fan’s prosthetic leg.

15. A Car Dashboard

San Jose Sharks' Dan Boyle once autographed the dashboard of a car for a fan—and not just any car, but a really nice, expensive one. "It was like, an Aston Martin or something," he said.

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By Napoleon Sarony - Library of Congress, Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons
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25 of Oscar Wilde's Wittiest Quotes
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By Napoleon Sarony - Library of Congress, Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons

On October 16, 1854, Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde was born in Dublin, Ireland. He would go on to become one of the world's most prolific writers, dabbling in everything from plays and poetry to essays and fiction. Whatever the medium, his wit shone through.

1. ON GOD

"I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability."

2. ON THE WORLD AS A STAGE

"The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast."

3. ON FORGIVENESS

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."

4. ON GOOD VERSUS BAD

"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious."

5. ON GETTING ADVICE

"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself."

6. ON HAPPINESS

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."

7. ON CYNICISM

"What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing."

8. ON SINCERITY

"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."

9. ON MONEY

"When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is."

10. ON LIFE'S GREATEST TRAGEDIES

"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it."

11. ON HARD WORK

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."

12. ON LIVING WITHIN ONE'S MEANS

"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination."

13. ON TRUE FRIENDS

"True friends stab you in the front."

14. ON MOTHERS

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."

15. ON FASHION

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."

16. ON BEING TALKED ABOUT

"There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about."

17. ON GENIUS

"Genius is born—not paid."

18. ON MORALITY

"Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike."

19. ON RELATIONSHIPS

"How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being?"

20. ON THE DEFINITION OF A "GENTLEMAN"

"A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally."

21. ON BOREDOM

"My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people’s."

22. ON AGING

"The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything."

23. ON MEN AND WOMEN

"I like men who have a future and women who have a past."

24. ON POETRY

"There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope."

25. ON WIT

"Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit."

And one bonus quote about Oscar Wilde! Dorothy Parker said it best in a 1927 issue of Life:

If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.

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10 Memorable Neil deGrasse Tyson Quotes
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Michael Campanella/Getty Images

Neil deGrasse Tyson is America's preeminent badass astrophysicist. He's a passionate advocate for science, NASA, and education. He's also well-known for a little incident involving Pluto. And the man holds nearly 20 honorary doctorates (in addition to his real one). In honor of his 59th birthday, here are 10 of our favorite Neil deGrasse Tyson quotes.

1. ON SCIENCE

"The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it."
—From Real Time with Bill Maher.

2. ON NASA FUNDING

"As a fraction of your tax dollar today, what is the total cost of all spaceborne telescopes, planetary probes, the rovers on Mars, the International Space Station, the space shuttle, telescopes yet to orbit, and missions yet to fly?' Answer: one-half of one percent of each tax dollar. Half a penny. I’d prefer it were more: perhaps two cents on the dollar. Even during the storied Apollo era, peak NASA spending amounted to little more than four cents on the tax dollar." 
—From Space Chronicles

3. ON GOD AND HURRICANES

"Once upon a time, people identified the god Neptune as the source of storms at sea. Today we call these storms hurricanes ... The only people who still call hurricanes acts of God are the people who write insurance forms."
—From Death by Black Hole

4. ON THE BENEFITS OF TECHNOLOGY INVENTED FOR USE IN SPACE

"Countless women are alive today because of ideas stimulated by a design flaw in the Hubble Space Telescope." (Editor's note: technology used to repair the Hubble Space Telescope's optical problems led to improved technology for breast cancer detection.)
—From Space Chronicles

5. ON THE DEMOTION OF PLUTO FROM PLANET STATUS 

PBS

"I knew Pluto was popular among elementary schoolkids, but I had no idea they would mobilize into a 'Save Pluto' campaign. I now have a drawer full of hate letters from hundreds of elementary schoolchildren (with supportive cover letters from their science teachers) pleading with me to reverse my stance on Pluto. The file includes a photograph of the entire third grade of a school posing on their front steps and holding up a banner proclaiming, 'Dr. Tyson—Pluto is a Planet!'"
—From The Sky Is Not the Limit

6. ON JAMES CAMERON'S TITANIC

"In [Titanic], the stars above the ship bear no correspondence to any constellations in a real sky. Worse yet, while the heroine bobs ... we are treated to her view of this Hollywood sky—one where the stars on the right half of the scene trace the mirror image of the stars in the left half. How lazy can you get?"
—From Death by Black Hole

7. ON DEATH BY ASTEROID

"On Friday the 13th, April 2029, an asteroid large enough to fill the Rose Bowl as though it were an egg cup will fly so close to Earth that it will dip below the altitude of our communication satellites. We did not name this asteroid Bambi. Instead, we named it Apophis, after the Egyptian god of darkness and death."
—From Space Chronicles

8. ON THE MOTIVATIONS BEHIND AMERICA'S MOONSHOT

"[L]et us not fool ourselves into thinking we went to the Moon because we are pioneers, or discoverers, or adventurers. We went to the Moon because it was the militaristically expedient thing to do."
—From The Sky Is Not the Limit

9. ON INTELLIGENT LIFE (OR THE LACK THEREOF)

Perhaps we've never been visited by aliens because they have looked upon Earth and decided there's no sign of intelligent life.
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/n/neildegras615117.html
Perhaps we've never been visited by aliens because they have looked upon Earth and decided there's no sign of intelligent life.
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/n/neildegras615117.html

"Perhaps we've never been visited by aliens because they have looked upon Earth and decided there's no sign of intelligent life."

10. PRACTICAL ADVICE IN THE EVENT OF ALIEN CONTACT 

A still from Steven Spielberg's E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
Universal Studios
"[I]f an alien lands on your front lawn and extends an appendage as a gesture of greeting, before you get friendly, toss it an eightball. If the appendage explodes, then the alien was probably made of antimatter. If not, then you can proceed to take it to your leader."
—From Death by Black Hole

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