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11 Strange Products You Can Purchase for Your Pooch

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If you forgot to buy your four-legged pal an extra-special stocking stuffer on Black Friday, fear not—one of these nifty dog presents might fit the bill (provided you don’t mind drawing odd looks from the neighbors).

1. Bowser Beer 

Wag

“Is your dog drinking responsibly?” asks the official Bowser Beer website. You can even have your pet’s face printed on the label when you order a six-pack of this non-alcoholic brew. Be advised, however, that the drinks come with beef and chicken flavoring, so human consumption might not end well.

2. Sexy Beast Perfume 

Global Package Gallery

The first of many doggy beautification products on this list, “Sexy Beast” is a unisex aroma designed to spruce up your dog without confounding his or her refined sense of smell.

3. Purebreed Political Propaganda 

Obey the Purebreed

Fun Fact: Dogs have been quietly taking over the world for decades. If you welcome our new canine overlords, here’s a great way to show your support. Thanks to the folks at obeythepurebreed.com, one can purchase revolutionary dog portraits complete with Marxist headgear and Soviet backgrounds. “Chairman Meow” décor is also available for cat-fanciers.

4. Humunga Lips Dog Toy

Wag

Rover will look like a furry Angelina Jolie thanks to this unique little toy. Giant red lips are attached to a “chewy, durable ball” which allegedly “makes for some laugh-out-loud games of ‘fetch.’” Of course, this is assuming that you actually want your dog to retrieve this thing after throwing it away.

5. Pawlish Nail Polish

BangStyle

If you’re a dog owner with a keen sense of fashion and superhuman patience, why not paint her claws? With colors like “poodle pink” and “fire hydrant red,” what glitzy dog could resist? Though the website no longer works, a few bottles are available on eBay.

6. Songs to Make Dogs Happy

After observing the reactions of “over 200 canine participants” to an assortment of musical genres, the good folks at Laurel Canyon Animal Company released a CD filled with original songs designed to encourage tail-wagging in doggy listeners. Don’t believe me? Check out their head-scratching single “Squeaky-Deaky,” above.

7. People Crackers For Dogs

Nowadays, your pooch can have the satisfaction of eating a people-shaped snack food without developing a taste for human flesh. It’s a win-win!

8. Treat Launcher

Lethargic dog-lovers, your prayers have been answered! This gun-like accessory fires pieces of kibble up to ten feet away, turning feeding time into a high-intensity spectacle. May the odds be ever in your favor, Fido!

9. Puppy Tweets

ThinkStock

Funny, I used to think “doggy Twitter” meant piddling on fire hydrants. But thanks this state-of-the-art tag, whenever your dog moves or barks, a Tweet is sent to her customized Twitter feed. That’s right, now you can monitor every single thing she does twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.

10. Rear Gear Butt Cover 

Etsy

From the official website: “Rear Gear is a fun and enchanting way of covering your pet’s rear while boosting [its] confidence!” So what is it? A colorful sticker that dangles over its buttocks (“No more Mr. Brown eye!” boasts the slogan).

11. The Poop Tent 

Amazon

Now Max can have peace of mind when he defecates. If the weather outside is frightful, set up one of these waterproof tents so he can relieve himself in bliss. Plus, it’s shaped like a grinning puppy for good measure.

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Animals
It’s Illegal to Own Only One Guinea Pig in Switzerland
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Denying your pet the chance to make friends with members of its own species could be considered an act of cruelty—at least in Switzerland. According to Techly, an animal rights law introduced there in 2008 makes it illegal to own just one guinea pig at a time.

The law was part of a legislative push to grant “social rights” to pets that tend to get lonely. Guinea pigs, for example, are herd animals, so having at least one furry companion to share a cage with should supposedly boost their quality of life.

Because it’s unlikely that two guinea pigs will die at the exact same time, pet owners can find themselves in a legally sticky situation when one of their animals passes away. Fortunately, there are now rent-a-guinea pig services in the country that provide partners to live with lonesome guinea pigs for the remainder of their lives.

There are other pets in Switzerland that are forbidden from living in isolation. Goldfish are also required to have at least one tank-mate and parrots must either live or have the opportunity to socialize with other birds on a regular basis. And though most cats may seem like solitary creatures to their owners, their social wellbeing is also protected in Switzerland; the law doesn’t go so far as to say that pet owners must have more than one cat, just that single cats should be able to see other cats when prowling outside or staring though a window.

[h/t Techly]

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Animals
Suit Up Your Cat or Dog in Pet-Sized Samurai Armor

Your pets may not be going into battle any time soon, but that doesn’t mean they can’t look the part. As Bored Panda reports, the Japanese company Samurai Age sells samurai armor built to protect the cuddly warrior in your life.

Even though traditional samurais didn’t have four legs and a tail, these outfits were designed with historical context in mind. The red get-up in the photo below, for example, channels the armor of real-life warrior Sanada Yukimura of the Senoku period.

This isn’t the first time someone has redesigned old-school battle gear for pets. Artist Jeff de Boer won over the internet when he shared images of his hand-crafted suits of armor for cats. Intended more for display than everyday use, those pieces cost as much as $25,000. The Samurai Age armor, which runs between $125 and $146, seems like a deal by comparison.

Suits come in black, red, gold, and silver and can fit cats and small dogs. Custom orders are also available through the Samurai Age website.

Cat in silver samurai armor in front of door.

Small dog in samurai armor sitting on a man's lap.

Cat in red samurai armor.

[h/t Bored Panda]

All images courtesy of Samurai Age.

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