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9 People Who Killed JFK, According to Conspiracy Theorists

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According to a Gallup poll, 61 percent of Americans believe John F. Kennedy’s assassination was the result of a conspiracy. Among those who don't think Oswald acted alone, the same names keep popping up. With varying degrees of plausibility, here are nine people and groups who've been blamed for killing Kennedy.

1. Lyndon B. Johnson

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A big contributor to this theory is Roger Stone, who wrote The Man Who Killed Kennedy: The Case Against LBJ. Stone is a Washington insider, having worked for Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, and George H. W. Bush. Stone believes that Johnson hired hitman Malcolm Wallace to do the dirty work, which explains an allegation that Johnson ducked before any shots were fired. Stone also believes that Johnson confessed to the crime: “Johnson’s mistress of 21 years, Madeleine Duncan Brown, who bore him an illegitimate son, said that Lyndon Johnson told her on the eve of the assassination, ‘After tomorrow I won’t have to deal with those Kennedy SOBs no more.’”

2. The KGB

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Ion Mihai Pacepa, who was a general for the secret police of Communist Romania, blames the KGB for orchestrating the assassination in his book, Programmed to Kill: Lee Harvey Oswald, the Soviet KGB, and the Kennedy Assassination. As for how the Soviet security agency got connected with Lee Harvey Oswald, theorists cite Oswald’s residency in the Soviet Union from 1959 to 1962. During this time, Oswald also met and married his Russian wife, Marina. Before the Kennedy assassination, Oswald wrote a letter to his wife that contained the assertion, “I believe that the Embassy will come quickly.” Pacepa believes this note is a piece of evidence that the KGB told Oswald they would take care of his family.

In another theory, the KGB is responsible for the assassination, but Oswald is not. According to JFK assassination expert Bryan Ghent, these theorists suspect that Oswald “was replaced by a Russian agent who looked like him in order to assassinate our president.”

3. Fidel Castro

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Theories about Oswald’s connection to Cuba vary in extremity, and some of these theories claim Castro was directly involved in JFK’s death. As for evidence, Oswald was arrested in 1963 for passing out pro-Castro pamphlets for the New Orleans Fair Play for Cuba Committee. The other primary basis for this theory is Oswald’s trip to the Cuban Embassy, around two months before the assassination, where he allegedly had a meltdown because he wasn’t granted a visa.

In 1963, Castro was questioned about JFK’s assassination, but the U.S. government determined he was not involved.

4. Woody Harrelson's Dad

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In 1980, Charles Harrelson was convicted of shooting federal judge John H. Wood, Jr. He was arrested in September of that year after a six hour standoff with police on the side of a highway. During the saga, Harrelson confessed to the assassination of John F. Kennedy in addition to Judge Wood. He later stated he had nothing to do with the JFK assassination, claiming he only confessed to the crime to ensure that he would live longer.

5. Secret Service Agent George Hickey

In 1992, Bonar Menninger released his assassination theory in the book Mortal Error: The Shot That Killed JFK. The book details a claim that one of Kennedy’s Secret Service agents, who was riding in the car behind the President, shot Kennedy by accident. Menninger worked with Baltimore ballistics expert Howard Donahue to compile the evidence. Donahue told a magazine, “It is a ballistically unshakable fact that the fatal shot came from a position behind and to the left of the president.” The two theorists concluded that the shooter was agent George Hickey, who reacted to Lee Harvey Oswald’s first shot by shooting his own gun and further injuring JFK.

Hickey did acknowledge the accusation. He sued Menninger after the book was released, but St. Martin’s Press, the publisher of the book, settled.

6. The Central Intelligence Agency

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According to author Patrick Nolan, who wrote CIA Rogues and the Killing of the Kennedys, a group of rogue CIA agents killed JFK. Nolan names James Angleton, Richard Helms, E. Howard Hunt, and David Phillips as members of the responsible group. He cites disagreement with Kennedy’s approach to Cuba as the group’s motive.

As for evidence, the most compelling is E. Howard Hunt’s deathbed confession to his family. Hunt, who was also involved in the Watergate Hotel break in, allegedly told his sons that the group of CIA rogues invited him to have a role in the assassination, which was originally supposed to take place in Miami before it was moved to Dallas. His son, Howard St. John Hunt, relayed his father's message to the LA Times, “He told me in no uncertain terms about a plot originating in Miami, to take place in Miami.”

7. Alien Researchers

William Lester’s book, A Celebration of Freedom: JFK and the New Frontier, contains a letter from Kennedy to the CIA dated ten days before the assassination. In the letter, Kennedy requests a “classification review of all UFO intelligence files affecting National Security.” Conspiracy theorists see a connection between this letter and Kennedy’s murder, blaming either a CIA cover-up or another alien research organization.

Lester maintains that the CIA gave him the letter, but government insiders believe the letter is a phony.

8. Carlos Marcello

Lamar Waldron has written multiple books accusing the mafia of killing JFK. He also believes the CIA had a role in covering up the assassination. In his theory, mafia boss Carlos Marcello hired hitmen to assassinate Kennedy because the president and his brother, Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy, were too tough on mob-related crimes. In 1985, Marcello allegedly admitted to the murder. He told a fellow prisoner, “Yeah, I had the son of a bitch killed. I’m glad I did. I’m sorry I couldn’t have done it myself.”

This theory isn’t going away. A November 2013 poll revealed that 13 percent of Americans believe that the mafia is to blame for Kennedy’s assassination. Waldron’s 2008 book about the theory, Legacy of Secrecy, is being adapted into a film starring Leonardo DiCaprio.

9. Joe DiMaggio

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Even baseball legend Joe DiMaggio has been blamed for the assassination! According to this theory, DiMaggio was sure that a member of the Kennedy family had Marilyn Monroe killed. DiMaggio’s lawyer Morris Engelberg wrote that the Hall of Famer refused to go to events if there would be members of the Kennedy family there. DiMaggio apparently told Engelberg, “It’s in their blood, and what they did to me will never be forgotten. They murdered the one person I loved.” Even as crazy conspiracy theories go, this one's a little flimsy.

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Why Do the Lions and Cowboys Always Play on Thanksgiving?
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Because it's tradition! But how did this tradition begin?

Every year since 1934, the Detroit Lions have taken the field for a Thanksgiving game, no matter how bad their record has been. It all goes back to when the Lions were still a fairly young franchise. The team started in 1929 in Portsmouth, Ohio, as the Spartans. Portsmouth, while surely a lovely town, wasn't quite big enough to support a pro team in the young NFL. Detroit radio station owner George A. Richards bought the Spartans and moved the team to Detroit in 1934.

Although Richards's new squad was a solid team, they were playing second fiddle in Detroit to the Hank Greenberg-led Tigers, who had gone 101-53 to win the 1934 American League Pennant. In the early weeks of the 1934 season, the biggest crowd the Lions could draw for a game was a relatively paltry 15,000. Desperate for a marketing trick to get Detroit excited about its fledgling football franchise, Richards hit on the idea of playing a game on Thanksgiving. Since Richards's WJR was one of the bigger radio stations in the country, he had considerable clout with his network and convinced NBC to broadcast a Thanksgiving game on 94 stations nationwide.

The move worked brilliantly. The undefeated Chicago Bears rolled into town as defending NFL champions, and since the Lions had only one loss, the winner of the first Thanksgiving game would take the NFL's Western Division. The Lions not only sold out their 26,000-seat stadium, they also had to turn fans away at the gate. Even though the juggernaut Bears won that game, the tradition took hold, and the Lions have been playing on Thanksgiving ever since.

This year, the Lions host the Minnesota Vikings.

HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS?


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The Cowboys, too, jumped on the opportunity to play on Thanksgiving as an extra little bump for their popularity. When the chance to take the field on Thanksgiving arose in 1966, it might not have been a huge benefit for the Cowboys. Sure, the Lions had filled their stadium for their Thanksgiving games, but that was no assurance that Texans would warm to holiday football so quickly.

Cowboys general manager Tex Schramm, though, was something of a marketing genius; among his other achievements was the creation of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders.

Schramm saw the Thanksgiving Day game as a great way to get the team some national publicity even as it struggled under young head coach Tom Landry. Schramm signed the Cowboys up for the game even though the NFL was worried that the fans might just not show up—the league guaranteed the team a certain gate revenue in case nobody bought tickets. But the fans showed up in droves, and the team broke its attendance record as 80,259 crammed into the Cotton Bowl. The Cowboys beat the Cleveland Browns 26-14 that day, and a second Thanksgiving pigskin tradition caught hold. Since 1966, the Cowboys have missed having Thanksgiving games only twice.

Dallas will take on the Los Angeles Chargers on Thursday.

WHAT'S WITH THE NIGHT GAME?


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In 2006, because 6-plus hours of holiday football was not sufficient, the NFL added a third game to the Thanksgiving lineup. This game is not assigned to a specific franchise—this year, the Washington Redskins will welcome the New York Giants.

Re-running this 2008 article a few days before the games is our Thanksgiving tradition.

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Why Your Traditional Thanksgiving Should Include Oysters
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If you want to throw a really traditional Thanksgiving dinner, you’ll need oysters. The mollusks would have been featured prominently on the holiday tables of the earliest American settlers—even if that beloved Thanksgiving turkey probably wasn’t. At the time, oysters were supremely popular additions to the table for coastal colonial settlements, though in some cases, they were seen as a hardship food more than a delicacy.

For one thing, oysters were an easy food source. In the Chesapeake Bay, they were so plentiful in the 17th and 18th centuries that ships had to be careful not to run aground on oyster beds, and one visitor in 1702 wrote that they could be pulled up with only a pair of tongs. Native Americans, too, ate plenty of oysters, occasionally harvesting them and feasting for days.

Early colonists ate so many oysters that the population of the mollusks dwindled to dangerously low levels by the 19th century, according to curriculum prepared by a Gettysburg University history professor. In these years, scarcity turned oysters into a luxury item for the wealthy, a situation that prevailed until the 1880s, when oyster production skyrocketed and prices dropped again [PDF]. If you lived on the coast, though, you were probably still downing the bivalves.

Beginning in the 1840s, canning and railroads brought the mollusks to inland regions. According to 1985's The Celebrated Oysterhouse Cookbook, the middle of the 19th century found America in a “great oyster craze,” where “no evening of pleasure was complete without oysters; no host worthy of the name failed to serve 'the luscious bivalves,' as they were actually called, to his guests.”

At the turn of the century, oysters were still a Thanksgiving standard. They were on Thanksgiving menus everywhere from New York City's Plaza Hotel to train dining cars, in the form of soup, cocktails, and stuffing.

In 1954, the Fish and Wildlife Service tried to promote Thanksgiving oysters to widespread use once again. They sent out a press release [PDF], entitled “Oysters—a Thanksgiving Tradition,” which included the agency’s own recipes for cocktail sauce, oyster bisque, and oyster stuffing.

In the modern era, Thanksgiving oysters have remained most popular in the South. Oyster stuffing is a classic dish in New Orleans, and chefs like Emeril Lagasse have their own signature recipes. If you’re not looking for a celebrity chef’s recipe, perhaps you want to try the Fish and Wildlife Service’s? Check it out below.

Oyster Stuffing

INGREDIENTS

1 pint oysters
1/2 cup chopped celery
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/4 cup butter
4 cups day-old bread cubes
1 tablespoon chopped parsley
1 teaspoon salt
Dash poultry seasoning
Dash pepper

Drain oysters, saving liquor, and chop. Cook celery and onion in butter until tender. Combine oysters, cooked vegetables, bread cubes, and seasonings, and mix thoroughly. If stuffing seems dry, moisten with oyster liquor. Makes enough for a four-pound chicken.

If you’re using a turkey, the FWS advises that the recipe above provides enough for about every five pounds of bird, so multiply accordingly.

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