18 Vintage Photos of Very Cranky Kids


Parents have always wanted photographs of their children to represent the best of their child. That’s because photographs can last a long time, and it’s natural to want the good qualities of your child to be the ones preserved forever. But that’s not always what happens. For every Facebook-worthy photo, there are usually at least six that go in the trash.

In the 19th and early 20th centuries, though, a child might have been photographed only once or twice in her young life—so parents usually had to take whatever they got. Sometimes that was sweetness, and sometimes, as in the cases below, it was extreme sourness. Let's take a look back at some old photos of very cranky kids from eras past.

1. “No, you idiot, I said the blue handkerchief! Father is going to hear about this.

2. Small pox? Cholera? Typhus? Bring it on. This little lady plans on living to see The Jazz Age.

3. “Molly, everyone knows your dolly is the best dressed in town. Don't look at me like that—I swear it's true!”

4. "Prohibition won’t be repealed until I’m in my thirties?"

5. "Could we speed this up? I have to be back on the cotton loom in five minutes."

6. “You will thrust this snowball directly into your own face at once sir. At ONCE!”

7. There is probably a connection between making boys wear big stupid bows, and the misdirected rage that fueled the First World War.

8. Bertie was beginning to suspect the benefits of the butter diet were grossly over-rated.

9. "Tsk. Newborns today. Back in my day, eight months ago, we were weaned on castor oil and chicory, and we LIKED it."

10.Young Albert Einstein. According to the theory of relativity, one second in this ridiculous outfit feels like a thousand years.

11. May God have mercy on your soul, because Lulabelle certainly shan’t.

12. “We don’t have time for this frippery. You think that coal is gonna mine itself?”

13. These faces are enough to strike terror into the heart of even the toughest babysitter. 

14. You'd be cranky too if you had to pose with a chicken.

15. You can put a kid in a fancy dress, but you can't make her pose, no you can't.

16. If you don’t want one of these … wear one of those.

17. Reading Kierkegaard was the worst mistake Jeb ever made. Nothing made sense anymore.

18. “We pleaded with dolly to show mercy, truly we did. Unfortunately, she just didn’t see it our way.”

NASA, Getty Images
Watch Apollo 11 Launch
Vice President Spiro Agnew and former President Lyndon Johnson view the liftoff of Apollo 11
Vice President Spiro Agnew and former President Lyndon Johnson view the liftoff of Apollo 11
NASA, Getty Images

Apollo 11 launched on July 16, 1969, on its way to the moon. In the video below, Mark Gray shows slow-motion footage of the launch (a Saturn V rocket) and explains in glorious detail what's going on from a technical perspective—the launch is very complex, and lots of stuff has to happen just right in order to get a safe launch. The video is mesmerizing, the narration is informative. Prepare to geek out about rockets! (Did you know the hold-down arms actually catch on fire after the rocket lifts off?)

Apollo 11 Saturn V Launch (HD) Camera E-8 from Spacecraft Films on Vimeo.

Romano D’Agostini, Giorgio Cargnel, Soprintendenza Speciale di Roma
Utility Workers May Have Found One of Rome’s First Churches
Romano D’Agostini, Giorgio Cargnel, Soprintendenza Speciale di Roma
Romano D’Agostini, Giorgio Cargnel, Soprintendenza Speciale di Roma

The remains of what may have been one of Rome’s earliest Christian churches were accidentally discovered along the Tiber River during construction, The Local reports. The four-room structure, which could have been built as early as the 1st century CE, was unearthed by electrical technicians who were laying cables along the Ponte Milvio.

The newly discovered structure next to the river
Romano D’Agostini, Giorgio Cargnel, Soprintendenza Speciale di Roma

No one is sure what to make of this “archaeological enigma shrouded in mystery,” in the words of Rome’s Archaeological Superintendency. Although there’s no definitive theory as of yet, experts have a few ideas.

The use of colorful African marble for the floors and walls has led archaeologists to believe that the building probably served a prestigious—or perhaps holy—function as the villa of a noble family or as a Christian place of worship. Its proximity to an early cemetery spawned the latter theory, since it's common for churches to have mausoleums attached to them. Several tombs were found in that cemetery, including one containing the intact skeleton of a Roman man.

Marble flooring
Romano D’Agostini, Giorgio Cargnel, Soprintendenza Speciale di Roma

A tomb
Romano D’Agostini, Giorgio Cargnel, Soprintendenza Speciale di Roma1

The walls are made of brick, and the red, green, and beige marble had been imported from Sparta (Greece), Egypt, and present-day Tunisia, The Telegraph reports.

As The Local points out, it’s not all that unusual in Rome for archaeological discoveries to be made by unsuspecting people going about their day. Rome’s oldest aqueduct was found by Metro workers, and an ancient bath house and tombs were found during construction on a new church.

[h/t The Local]


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