Yes, Parents Do Play Favorites—And Often Love Their Youngest Kid Best

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If you have brothers or sisters, there was probably a point in your youth when you spent significant time bickering over—or at least privately obsessing over—whom Mom and Dad loved best. Was it the oldest sibling? The baby of the family? The seemingly forgotten middle kid?

As much as we'd like to believe that parents love all of their children equally, some parents do, apparently, love their youngest best, according to The Independent. A recent survey from the parenting website Mumsnet and its sister site, the grandparent-focused Gransnet, found that favoritism affects both parents and grandparents.

Out of 1185 parents and 1111 grandparents, 23 percent of parents and 42 percent of grandparents admitted to have a favorite out of their children or grandchildren. For parents, that tended to be the youngest—56 percent of those parents with a favorite said they preferred the baby of the family. Almost 40 percent of the grandparents with a favorite, meanwhile, preferred the oldest. Despite these numbers, half of the respondents thought having a favorite among their children and grandchildren is "awful," and the majority think it's damaging for that child's siblings.

Now, this isn't to say that youngest children experience blatant favoritism across all families. This wasn't a scientific study, and with only a few thousand users, the number of people with favorites is actually not as high as it might seem—23 percent is only around 272 parents, for instance. But other studies with a bit more scientific rigor have indicated that parents do usually have favorites among their children. In one study, 70 percent of fathers and 74 percent of mothers admitted to showing favoritism in their parenting. "Parents need to know that favoritism is normal," psychologist Ellen Weber Libby, who specializes in family dynamics, told The Wall Street Journal in 2017.

But youngest kids don't always feel the most loved. A 2005 study found that oldest children tended to feel like the preferred ones, and youngest children felt like their parents were biased toward their older siblings. Another study released in 2017 found that when youngest kids did feel like there was preferential treatment in their family, their relationships with their parents were more greatly affected than their older siblings, either for better (if they sensed they were the favorite) or for worse (if they sensed their siblings were). Feeling like the favorite or the lesser sibling didn't tend to affect older siblings' relationships with their parents.

However, the author of that study, Brigham Young University professor Alex Jensen, noted in a press release at the time that whether or not favoritism affects children tends to depend on how that favoritism is shown. "When parents are more loving and they're more supportive and consistent with all of the kids, the favoritism tends to not matter as much," he said, advising that “you need to treat them fairly, but not equally.” Sadly for those who don't feel like the golden child, a different study in 2016 suggests that there's not much you can do about it—mothers, at least, rarely change which child they favor most, even over the course of a lifetime.

[h/t The Independent]

We're Hiring a Staff Writer!

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We're looking for a staff writer to join the award-winning Mental Floss team.

Mental Floss has won Webby Awards (three!), lost ASME Awards (thrilled to be nominated!), and published 15 books and five board games. Our YouTube channel has 1.3 million subscribers, and we reach 13 million people a month through mentalfloss.com. Our goal is to find fascinating stories and bring them back to our readers. The kinds of stories people want to share, and not just in the social media sense. There are so many incredibly interesting things out there. Can you help us uncover them?

Staff Writer

We need a writer who is as comfortable covering science as they are pop culture. Primary responsibilities include writing three posts for publication on the site each day as well as writing a number of lists each month; reported features and special projects will also be in the mix.
Ideal candidates will have:

  • One to two years of experience pitching and writing for the web
  • Excellent time management skills, the ability to prioritize, and a high level of attention to detail
  • Energetic, positive written voice
  • Strong research, reporting, and interviewing skills
  • The ability to: conceive, pitch, and execute timely stories on tight deadlines; translate complicated concepts into accessible writing; and generate large volumes of creative story ideas.
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Behr Will Pay Someone $10,000 to Travel the U.S. and Canada in Search of New Paint Colors

Rainbow Row in Charleston, South Carolina
Rainbow Row in Charleston, South Carolina
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Want to add a bit of color and excitement to your life? Behr has just the opportunity for you. The company wants to pay a “Color Explorer” $10,000 to visit vibrant destinations across the U.S. and Canada in search of new hues that will ultimately be turned into actual Behr paints.

“The Behr Color Explorer will kayak the glacial blues of Lake Louise in Banff [Alberta, Canada], people-watch at a vibrant music festival, take in the bold exteriors of Charleston’s Rainbow Row, and experience many more moments of positively pigmented wanderlust in between,” Behr writes in its job description.

Throughout their trip, the Color Explorer will take field notes and plenty of photos, and document their experiences on Behr’s blog and social media. After seeing all there is to see, this person will head to the company’s headquarters in Orange County, California, to work with Behr's marketing team on naming the new colors they uncovered.

Behr's paint names tend to range from the alliterative (see: “Bali Bliss” and “Barely Brown”) to the poetic (“Moth’s Wing”) to the straightforward but still somehow evocative (“Wheat Bread” and “Swiss Coffee”). The company's color of the year for 2019 is called Blueprint.

The ideal Color Explorer will be adventurous, interested in color, and knowledgeable about the latest trends, according to Behr.

In addition to providing a $10,000 stipend, the company will also cover all travel expenses, accommodation, and experiences. Would-be explorers can apply for the gig on Behr’s website by writing a short description of the color that inspires them most before the May 15 deadline. Applicants must be at least 21 years old and residents of the U.S. or Canada, and they must also have a valid passport.

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