18 Terrifying Old Costumes You Can't Unsee


Costumes were scarier back in the day. They just were. Back before Halloween was sexy, before it was owned by Disney, back before everyone realized you’ll still get candy no matter how little effort you put into your costume. Here are 18 costume ideas, each offering its own bit of advice on how to add some horrible to your Halloween.

1. Never Underestimate the Terror of a Filthy, Gleeful Smile.

He puts the laughter in manslaughter.

2. Clowns Are Scarier without Rainbow Wigs.

“My head handle is prettier than your head handle.”

3. When seeking to inspire terror, quantity is quality.

“Might I call your attention to the center ring, where our Circus of the Damned performers are currently gathering to eat your souls!”

4. Ladies, put some effort into those “sexy” costumes. They can be terrifying.

“Helloooooo! My eyes are up h-… oh, nevermind. You’re good.”

5. Your costume need not be elaborate, as long as you include a giant rat accessory.

I like to think the rat is nuzzling her, not sinking its gnarled teeth into her still beating heart. But really it should be doing neither.

6. There is nothing so innocence-shattering as homemade versions of copyrighted characters.

Mickey hates to see Minnie go, but he loves to watch her walk away, in these costumes from 1931.

7. A ruffly collar and cute whisker are the only differences between a cute little kitty cat and a demon hobgoblin.

The original Grumpy Cat, from 1924, would like to talk to you about these boxes of raisins you’ve been handing out.

8. Twins are always scary. So anywhere you go from there is a guaranteed horror.

“Hey sailor, have you ever had two nightmares at the same time?”

9. Blunt objects for wielding are the perfect addition to a minimalist costume.

What Death lacks in stature he makes up for in determination.

10. Sometimes depressing people is more effective than just scaring them.

Long before “Sexy” Owl and “Sexy” Pumpkin, there was…the earnest creativity brought forth by heart-rending poverty.

11. Don’t be afraid to explore other cultures' nightmares for costume inspiration.

They won’t get off the porch. I bet you wish you’d installed that newfangled telephone now.

12. Wheels may be added to the beds of sick children. Just so you know.

Before there was Make-A-Wish, there was Scream-A-Prayer—at least for the kids visiting this clown hospital in 1924.

13. Wear the head of an actual dead animal. You win.

Enjoy your breakfast? Good. Now Mr. Truffles would like a word with you.

14. If done correctly, affection can be creepier than violence.

I never realized how not horrifying the 1939 movie versions of the Tin Man and Scarecrow were, at least when compared to their 1902 counterparts.

15. Sometimes it’s ok to just sit back and let the paper-mache do the terrorizing for you.

“Little Halloween People.” I offer no jokes here. Only prayers.

16. Let your costume tell a story. One that involves meat hooks and butcher knives.

“The Author in Fancy Dress as a Side of Bacon.”

17. Try and capture unique emotions on your mask. Tenacity. Curiosity. Reverence. Cramps.

They clawed their way out of the pits of hell, the least you can do is give ‘em a Snickers bar. Besides, it’s not like you have a choice.

18. It's those guys from the tire commercials.

Well I don’t know about you, but I suddenly want to buy tires. Certainly not run, run far and hard until the very air is like daggers in my lungs. Nope. Just some tires, please!

Photos found on Pinterest unless otherwise noted.

Bain News Service - Library of Congress, Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons
10 Pats Born on St. Patrick's Day
A photo from the 1919 wedding of Princess Patricia of Connaught to the Hon. Alexander Ramsay.
A photo from the 1919 wedding of Princess Patricia of Connaught to the Hon. Alexander Ramsay.
Bain News Service - Library of Congress, Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons

Need some St. Patrick's Day conversation fodder that doesn't involve leprechauns or four-leaf clovers? Ask your friends to name a "Pat" born on St. Patrick's Day. If they can't, they owe you a drink—then you can wow them with this list of 10.


Princess Patricia was the granddaughter of Queen Victoria, who gave up all of her royal titles when she married a commoner. She was born at Buckingham Palace on March 17, 1886.


The Dallas star was born on March 17, 1949. And here's a totally random fact about Duffy: His nephew is Barry Zito, former MLB pitcher for the Oakland Athletics and the San Francisco Giants.


Pattie Boyd
Larry Ellis, Express/Getty Images

Pattie Boyd is well-known to lovers of classic rock: She has been married three times, including once to George Harrison and once to Eric Clapton, who both wrote a couple of the most romantic songs in rock history in her honor (including The Beatles's "Something" and Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight"). Boyd was a model when she met Harrison on the set of A Hard Day's Night in 1964; the pair were married two years later. They divorced in 1977 and she married Clapton, Harrison's close friend, in 1979. She also had an affair with Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones toward the end of her marriage to The Quiet Beatle.


Belfast-born Pat Rice is a former footballer and coach who spent the bulk of his career with Arsenal F.C. (that's "football club," a.k.a. soccer to us Americans). He joined the Gunners in 1964 as a mere apprentice, turning pro a couple of years later. He became captain in 1977 and left the club for a few years in the early 1980s to go to Watford, but returned after he retired from playing in 1984. In 2012, after nearly 30 years with the organization, he announced his retirement.


Patty Maloney is an actress with dwarfism who stands just three feet, 11 inches tall. She has appeared in many movies and T.V. shows over the years, including operating the Crypt Keeper puppet in Tales from the Crypt. She also played Chewbacca's son Lumpy in The Star Wars Holiday Special.


Michael C. Hall and Mathew St. Patrick in 'Six Feet Under'

Ok, so Mathew St. Patrick is the stage name of the actor, but he was born Patrick Matthews in Philadelphia on March 17, 1968. You probably know him best as David's boyfriend Keith on Six Feet Under.


He may not be a household name, but the recording artists Patrick Adams writes for and helps produce certainly are. Adams has been involved in the careers of Salt-N-Pepa, Sister Sledge, Gladys Knight, Rick James, and Coolio, among others.


It's possible you look at Patrick McDonnell's work every day, depending on which comics your newspaper carries. McDonnell draws a strip called Mutts featuring a dog and a cat named Earl and Mooch, respectively. Charles Schulz called it one of the best comic strips of all time.


 Singer/Guitarist Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins performs onstage during Live Earth New York at Giants Stadium on July 7, 2007 in East Rutherford, New Jersey
Evan Agostini, Getty Images

Yes, you know him better as just plain old Billy Corgan: he's the face of the Smashing Pumpkins, engages in public feuds with Courtney Love, and maybe once dated Jessica Simpson. He made his debut on March 17, 1967.


Patricia Ford is a retired model probably best known for her Playboy photoshoots in the 1990s.

St. Patrick's Day By the Numbers

You know St. Patrick's Day falls on the 17th of March. And you probably know how many green beers is too many green beers for you to consume. But do you know how many boys born in Ireland are named Patrick each year? Or how many people travel to Ireland to celebrate the holiday each March? The folks at RewardExpert, a website dedicated to helping travelers find the best frequent flyer and travel credit card reward programs for their lifestyle, do. And they've gathered it all together in one handy infographic, just in time for the big day.