9 Saturday Night Live Movies That Were Never Made

Saturday Night Live via YouTube
Saturday Night Live via YouTube

In the pantheon of regular Saturday Night Live sketches-turned-feature films, there are good ideas (Wayne’s World), bad ideas (It’s Pat), and batted-about ideas that won't make it to the silver screen for one reason or another. Here are nine proposed SNL movies that you'll probably never get to see.

1. HANS & FRANZ: THE GIRLY MAN DILEMMA (1993)

The idea for a Hans and Franz movie began—and ended—with Arnold Schwarzenegger, who suggested the idea to Kevin Nealon and Dana Carvey when he guest starred in a segment. In 2012, Nealon talked about the folded project with the Tampa Bay Times, admitting that: “Yes, we wrote a musical! Hans & Franz: The Girly Man Dilemma. I wrote it with Conan O'Brien, Robert Smigel, and Dana Carvey. Arnold Schwarzenegger was co-producing with us, and he was going to star in it. We got it written, sold it to Sony. But I think Arnold got cold feet.”

In a 2010 interview with The A.V. Club, Smigel said that the problem really came down to the box office bomb that was Last Action Hero, saying “That movie came out and it was a failure and I was told by his agent that Arnold decided [adopts Schwarzenegger voice], ‘I will never be myself in a movie again! It can’t be done, this is the proof. I can’t play myself in a movie, automatic failure.’”

2. BILL SWERSKI’S SUPERFANS (1995)

In that same interview with The A.V. Club, Smigel noted that “I’m guilty of writing probably as many SNL movies as anybody, but mine have never been made.” He’s not kidding. Among those stalled features is Da Movie version of Da Bears sketch, a.k.a. Bill Swerski’s Superfans, one of SNL’s longest-running sketches, which premiered on January 12, 1991 (with Joe Mantegna as the titular Swerski) and was later featured in a State Farm commercial. 

When the opportunity arose to turn the sketch into a film, Smigel and Bob Odenkirk (who had created the original sketch together) jumped at the opportunity, with Smigel leaving his job as Conan’s head writer to work on the script. But a bad year for SNL on the small screen spelled trouble for anyone involved with the show. “There was an awful article written in New York Magazine about the show and the network wanted to lay down the law,” recalled Smigel, which meant “no SNL movies.” But the script was not a total loss; in 2010, Smigel, Odenkirk, Mantegna, George Wendt, Mike Ditka and Richard Roeper (as narrator) staged a live reading of the script at Chicago’s Just for Laughs festival. 

3. COFFEE TALK (1995)

That same New York Magazine article curtailed plans for a feature version of Mike Myers’s Coffee Talk, a popular sketch in which Myers starred as Jewish talk show host Linda Richman (a character he based on his now-former mother-in-law). The recent box office failures of other SNL movies at the time—including It’s Pat and Stuart Saves His Family—didn’t help matters either.

4. SPROCKETS (2000)

Dieter is yet another Mike Myers talk show host character—this one an unflappable German guy—whose leap to the big screen was aborted. But not due to lack of interest on the studio’s part. On June 5, 2000, Universal filed suit against Myers, claiming that he abandoned the project because “the script—which he himself co-wrote and over which he had complete and unfettered control—is no longer acceptable to him.” Myers’s response, in a countersuit, was that “The question has always been can Sprockets move beyond a sketch into a full-length feature. Despite my greatest efforts, I have yet to achieve that. I cannot in good conscience accept $20 million and cheat moviegoers ... with an unacceptable script.”

5. THE AMBIGUOUSLY GAY DUO (2005)

A feature-length version of Robert Smigel and J.J. Sedelmaier’s animated TV Funhouse sketch has been rumored for years. And in 2005, Stephen Colbert—who voiced Ace, one half of the possibly gay superhero team (Steve Carell played Gary)—even told Ain’t It Cool News that “the movie is a go.” More than 10 years later, the closest the script has gotten to Hollywood is a live-action version of the sketch in May of 2011, when Jon Hamm and Jimmy Fallon played the flesh-and-blood versions of Ace and Gary.

6. KEY PARTY (2005)

Host Seth Meyers speaks onstage during the 75th Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 7, 2018
Paul Drinkwater, NBCUniversal via Getty Images

While we cannot declare Seth Meyers’s script for Key Party officially dead, the fact that little has been spoken about the project—based on a one-off sketch that aired in December 2004—except the announcement that it was being made into a movie in the first place certainly doesn't bode well for its production prospects. Especially since that was in 2005 and there’s not even an IMDb listing for the flick. And with Meyers being a lot more hectic now that he's in the Late Night chair, who knows when he’ll have time to revisit the story of a couple looking to spice up their sex life.

7. PEEPERS: A CANTICLE (2012)

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering what Chris Kattan has been up to since leaving SNL in 2003, you’re not alone. Los Angeles-based writer Justin Becker made a game out of the answer when he wrote a fake script in which he transformed Mr. Peepers, Kattan’s apple-eating, suspender-wearing monkey-man, into the sort of mythical creature Peter Sellers played in Being There. Becker attributed the script to Kattan himself (as C.L. Kattan) then began dropping copies of it around California.

“I traveled all across the west coast planting these books like a demented Johnny Appleseed,” Becker told San Francisco Weekly. “Chris Kattan’s Wikipedia page says that 1000 books were put in stores, but I can neither confirm or deny that number.” Though this script was a hoax from the get-go, one can only imagine that it’s got the legs to out-earn the measly $21 million Coneheads made in theaters.

8. STEFON (2013)

Fans of Stefon got prematurely excited in 2013 when Bill Hader told Larry King about the idea of turning his New York City know-it-all club kid into a leading man. But then, in almost the same breath, he stated that it would probably never happen. “We talked a little bit about an idea for a movie, and then we were kind of like, 'I don't think it'll work,’” Hader said. “We did have one funny scene that was making John and I laugh, which was Stefon coming out to his family. His parents are, like, blue-collar people from the Bronx.”

9. THE SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE MOVIE (1990)

Given that each episode of Saturday Night Live is essentially a feature-length series of sketches, The Saturday Night Live Movie seems a bit redundant. But in 1990, a script with that very title was written, with some of the show’s strongest writing talents—including Conan O’Brien, Robert Smigel, and Greg Daniels—attached as participants. But someone must have wised up to the fact that the cinematic medium offered nothing different for the concept, as few people even knew of the script’s existence until 2010.

Additional Sources: The B.S. Report (Grantland) interview with Robert Smigel
Splitsider

An earlier version of this article ran in 2013.

Peter Dinklage Faked His Own Death on Game of Thrones to Mess With People

HBO
HBO

by Kwadar Ray

Tyrion Lannister has been one of the few Game of Thrones characters to survive the gory, fantasy/action series. ​Ned Stark, Robb Stark, and Khal Drogo are just some of the many prominent characters Lannister has outlasted. Despite Tyrion's wherewithal and smarts to keep himself alive, the actor behind the character, ​Peter Dinklage, enjoys doing the exact opposite just for kicks.

While promoting his upcoming film I Think We’re Alone Now, the actor revealed on Jimmy Kimmel Live! that he enjoys staging his death and waiting for unsuspecting crew members to find his body.

"I like to pretend I’m dead. It’s always fun," Dinklage said nonchalantly. "Just my legs sprawled out in the trailer. You’ve got to get really smushed into the floor in a very awkward position ... I’ll wait hours. We have a lot of time on set."

Dinklage explained that he does not have a usual victim. "For whoever, the wardrobe person or the producers," the equal opportunity prankster told Kimmel.

It's hilarious the Emmy-winning actor plays some pretty dark pranks on set, but we just sincerely hope him revealing this is not his way of foreshadowing for the eighth and final season of the show. Even if we know it's ​going to be a heartbreaking season, we need Tyrion to keep on pushing along!

Everything You Need to Know About the New DC Universe Streaming Service

Brenton Thwaites stars in DC Universe's Titans
Brenton Thwaites stars in DC Universe's Titans
Warner Bros. Television

by Natalie Zamora

Although the fates of two major DC superheroes, Superman and Batman, are kind of up in the air right now as far as for their Extended Universes, things are looking up for the franchise, as their exclusive streaming service has just launched. Here's everything you need to know about DC Universe.

THE SIGNIFICANCE

With all the different types of streaming services we have today, why is DC Universe so special, and why would someone pay for it if they can find the content elsewhere? Well, this streaming service allows all your favorite DC content to live in one space. Instead of having to search for what you want throughout the internet, you can find it all here. For the die-hard fan, this is perfect.

DC Universe offers an impressive collection of live-action and animated movies, TV shows, documentaries, and comic books. The service also offers exclusive toys you can only get by being a subscriber.

THE CONTENT

Heath Ledger stars as The Joker in 'The Dark Knight' (2008)
© TM & DC Comics/Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.

So, what exact DC content lives on DC Universe? Well, there's a range of content from recent to old-school, such as Batman: The Animated Series, The Dark Knight, Teen Titans, and Constantine. Apart from what's on there now, the service will be debuting the live-action Titans series later this year, along with Swamp Thing and Doom Patrol in 2019. DC is also developing new series for Harley Quinn and Young Justice: Outsiders, exclusively for the service.

THE PRICE

​To get all of this exclusive DC content, it must be expensive, right? No, not really. Compared to Netflix, which is $10.99 a month, DC Universe is inexpensive, at a rate of $7.99 monthly or $74.99 annually. It is a bit pricier than Hulu, however, which is $5.99 monthly for the first year, then $7.99 monthly after. Like most streaming services, you can also try a free seven-day trial with DC Universe.

HOW TO SIGN UP

​Are you sold? If so, the sign up process is fairly simple. Head to ​DC Universe, create an account, and choose your plan, either monthly or annually. Either way, you'll get your free seven-day trial to browse around and see for yourself if it's really worth it.

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