10 Wonderful Old Words For Winter Ailments That We Need to Bring Back

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iStock

Winter has arrived, and you're likely washing your hands every five seconds to keep colds and the flu at bay. If the bad weather catches up with you though, here are 10 cold weather and winter ailment words you might find indispensable.

1. MELDROP

Derived from Scandinavian roots, originally a meldrop was a drop of foam from a horse’s mouth as it chomps on the bit—the metal crossbar held in a horse’s mouth, the Old Norse word for which was mel. According to the English Dialect Dictionary however, that original meaning gave way to a more figurative and more useful word in 16th century Scots: As well as being another word for a drip of water from the tip of an icicle, a meldrop is a pendulous droplet on the tip of a person’s nose.

2. SNIRL

Besides being a long-forgotten dialect word for the nose—or for the metal hoop pierced through a bull’s nostrils—snirl or snurl is an old 18th century dialect word for a stuffy head cold.

3. KIFFLE

To kiffle is to cough because you have a tickle in the throat. To hosk, meanwhile, is to cough harshly or painfully; to boke is to cough violently, according to the English Dialect Dictionary; and to wirken is to cough or choke, likely because you’re eating too quickly (a word worth remembering around the Christmas dinner table). A tissick, likewise, is a dry, tickling cough.

4. FOX’S COUGH

According to the Oxford English Dictionary (OED), this is a hoarse, scratching cough that refuses to clear up, apparently so called because the fox’s call is so raucous and guttural. As far as different types of coughs go, however, probably the one to most stay clear of is a churchyard cough—a 17th century term for what the OED defines as “a bad cough, seemingly indicative of impending death.”

5. STERNUTAMENT

Sternutation is a 16th century medical word for the act of sneezing, which makes sternutament an equally ancient word for a single sneeze. As sneezing goes, the dictionary has quite a rich vocabulary to fall back on: chissup, atissha, and neazle are all long-forgotten and wonderfully onomatopoeic words for sneezes (with neazle predominately meaning to make the noise of a sneeze); the adjective ptarmic describes anything that makes you sneeze; and even the word sneeze itself is of interest, as it was originally spelled fnese before its initial F was misread as a long S in the 15th century.

6. AWVISH

Probably derived from a corruption of half or half-ish, if you’re awvish then you’re not exactly unwell, but you’re not feeling your best. A similar and equally evocative term from the 18th century was frobly-mobly, or fobly-mobly, which the lexicographer Francis Grose defined as meaning “indifferently well” in his Glossary of Provincial and Local Words in 1839.

7. PRESENTEEISM

The opposite of absenteeism is presenteeism—a term coined in the early 1930s for the act of turning up to work, despite being unwell.

8. HEADWARCH

Waerc was an Old English word for pain (which ironically derives from the same ancient root as work). That makes headwarch an equally ancient word for a headache, which only survived into recent decades in a handful of dialects from the northern counties of England. If you’re after something a bit more formal than that, however, there’s always cephalalgy, a word for a headache coined in the early 1600s; when things get really serious, there’s always galea—a Latin word for helmet—which according to one 1706 dictionary refers to a headache so-called "because it takes in the whole head."

9. KINK-HAUST

As a verb, kink can be used to mean "to cough convulsively," while a haust or hoast is a single cough or tickle in the throat. Put together, those words combine to form a dialect word, kink-haust, which according to a 19th century Vocabulary of East Anglia was once used to refer to a combined “violent cold and cough.”

10. ALYSM

And finally, if some or all of the above apply to you, it might be worth remembering this obscure term from psychology and psychiatry: The restless boredom or ennui that comes from being unwell or confined to your bed is called alysm.

This Pop Culture Guide to Proofreading Marks Will Help You Write the Perfect Essay

Pop Culture Lab
Pop Culture Lab

Regardless of your profession, proofreading is an important skill to know. A round of revisions will help you express yourself more clearly and eloquently, and penning a perfectly punctuated letter is an underrated art form. Proofreading marks will help you edit more efficiently, but navigating all those squiggles and dots can feel like learning a foreign language.

Here to help is Pop Chart Labs, which used pop culture references to create a fun guide to proofreading marks. As for the Oxford comma—whose use is hotly debated among punctuation purists—the chart makers rule in favor of it. “The movies Kill Bill, While You Were Sleeping, and 28 Days Later are all punctuated by important comas,” the comma section of the poster reads.

The chart
Pop Chart Lab

“I’m Ron Burgundy?” (an Anchorman reference) falls under the question mark category, and “Nobody puts baby in a corner” (Dirty Dancing) is given as an example of text centering.

“Let Beyonce teach you about flushing left (to the left), Italian stereotypes from The Simpsons illustrate ital-ics, Michael Scott portray the pain of having your edits and/or vasectomies reversed, and all too many Game of Thrones characters demonstrate deletion (warning: SPOILERS),” Pop Chart Lab writes in its description of the poster.

With this chart on your wall, you’ll never miss the mark. The 18-inch-by-24-inch poster costs $29 and is currently available for pre-order on Pop Chart Lab's website. Shipping starts October 3.

15 Facts About Talk Like A Pirate Day

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iStock

Ahoy, me hearties! As many of you know, September 19 is International Talk Like A Pirate Day, an annual phenomenon that’s taken the world by storm, having been observed by every continent, the International Space Station, and even the Oval Office since it first made headlines back in 2002. So let’s hoist the Jolly Roger, break out the rum, and take a look back at the holiday’s timber-shivering history.

1. IT WAS ORIGINALLY CONCEIVED OF ON D-DAY.

Talk Like a Pirate Day creators John Baur and Mark Summer (who’ve since acquired the nicknames “Ol’ Chumbucket” and “Cap’n Slappy,” respectively) created the holiday while playing racquetball on June 6, 1995—the 51st anniversary of the invasion of Normandy. Out of respect to the battle’s veterans, a new observance date was quickly sought.

2. SEPTEMBER 19TH ALSO HAPPENS TO BE THE BIRTHDAY OF THE CO-CREATOR'S EX-WIFE.

“[September 19th was] the only date we could readily recall that wasn’t already taken up with Christmas or the Super Bowl or something,” the pair later claimed. Summers claims to harbor no ill will toward his former spouse, who has since stated, “I’ve never been prouder to be his ex-wife!

3. PULITZER PRIZE-WINNING HUMORIST DAVE BARRY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR POPULARIZING THE HOLIDAY.

Dave Barry was so smitten with the holiday after having been introduced to it via email in early 2002 that he dedicated an entire column to its publicity that September, turning an inside joke into a global sensation. He later went on to make a cameo appearance in one of Baur and Summers’s buccaneer-themed music videos in 2011 (look for him in the video above at the 3:25 mark).

4. REAL PIRATES SPOKE A WIDE VARIETY OF DIALECTS.

Despite some extensive “English-to-Pirate” dictionaries that have cropped up all over the Internet the idea that all pirates shared a common accent regardless of national origin is historically absurd, as National Geographic pointed out in 2011.

5. ACTOR ROBERT NEWTON IS HAILED AS THE “PATRON SAINT” OF TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY.

So where did the modern “pirate dialect” come from? Summers and Baur credit actor Robert Newton's performance in Treasure Island (1950) and have accordingly dubbed him the “patron saint” of their holiday. Tasked with breathing life into the scheming buccaneer, Newton simply exaggerated his native West Country accent and the rest is history.

6. BAUR'S FAMILY WAS FEATURED ON A PIRATE-THEMED EPISODE OF WIFE SWAP.

The reality show’s highly-anticipated 2006 season premiere pitted the Baurs (in full pillaging regalia) against a family which, according to John’s wife Tori (a.k.a. “Mad Sally”), “behaved as though ‘fun’ was something that had to be pre-packaged for their protection.”

7. BAUR WAS ALSO ON JEOPARDY!

Baur was described to the audience as “a writer and pirate from Oregon” in his 2008 appearance. “I didn’t win,” Baur said, “but the introduction made Alex blink.”

8. TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY HAS BECOME A CORNERSTORE OF THE PASTAFARIAN MOVEMENT.

Bobby Henderson, founder of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, cited Earth’s dwindling pirate population as the clear source of global warming in his 2005 open letter to the Kansas school board which established the religion. Since then, Talk Like A Pirate Day has been observed by devout Pastafarians worldwide. 

9. A FLORIDA MAYOR ONCE IGNITED A LOCAL CONTROVERSY FOR MAKING AN OFFICIAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY PROCLAMATION.

In 2012, Lake Worth, Florida Mayor Pam Triolo lightheartedly urged her constituents to embrace the holiday last year, writing, “The City … is known to possess a spirit of independence, high spirits, and swashbuckling, all traits of a good pirate.” Her actions were criticized by the city’s former commissioner, Jo-Ann Golden, who took offense to the association with murderous seamen.

10. DAY OF THE THE NINJA WAS CREATED IN RESPONSE TO TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY.

Not to be outdone by their hated rivals, the pro-ninja community was quick to execute the first annual Day of the Ninja on December 5, 2002. For Summers and Baur’s take on the warring factions, see the clip above.

11. ASTRONAUTS ONCE CELEBRATED TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY ABOARD THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION.

In a 2012 interview, Summers recalled being “informed that the astronauts on the International Space Station were awakened to ‘A Pirate’s Life For Me' and joined in the pirate talk from space.”

12. PRESIDENT OBAMA ONCE CELEBRATED WITH A COSTUMED BUCCANEER IN THE OVAL OFFICE.

In 2012, Barack Obama tweeted this image on Talk Like a Pirate Day with the caption “Arr you in?”

13. A CONGRESSMAN LATER USED THE HOLIDAY TO SLAM OBAMA'S TAX PLAN.

In 2011, Florida’s 12th congressional district representative Dennis Ross used the festivity as a political punchline after Obama made a speech detailing his tax plan, tweeting, “It is TALK like a pirate day … not ACT like one. Watch ye purses and bury yr loot, the taxman cometh.”

14. IT'S AN OFFICIAL HOLIDAY IN THE STATE OF MICHIGAN.

On June 4, 2013, state senator Roger Kahn’s proposal to grant Talk Like A Pirate Day official acknowledgement from the Michigan government was formally adopted, to the chagrin of some dissenting landlubbers. 

15. TALK LIKE A PIRATE, GET A FREE DEEP FRIED TWINKIE.

Rejoice, sweet-toothed scallywags: There's free grub to be had on Talk Like a Pirate Day. Talk like a pirate at your local Long John Silver's, and you'll get a free deep fried Twinkie. Dress like a pirate and you'll get a free Fish N' Fry. (Though you'll want to make sure your local restaurant is participating before putting on your best eye patch.)

This story originally ran in 2013.

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