Revisit Your Favorite '90s Screensaver With This Free Game

Cahoots Malone
Cahoots Malone

In the '90s, a significant amount of computing power was devoted to generating endless brick mazes on Windows 95. The screensaver has since become iconic, and now nostalgic Microsoft fans can relive it in a whole new way. As Motherboard reports, the animation has been re-imagined into a video game called Screensaver Subterfuge.

Instead of watching passively as your computer weaves through the maze, you’re leading the journey this time around. You play as a kid hacker who’s been charged with retrieving sensitive data hidden in the screensaver of Windows 95 before devious infomancers can get to it first. The gameplay is pretty simple: Use the arrow keys to navigate the halls and press Q and click the mouse to change their design. Finding a giant smiley face takes you to level two, and finding the briefcase icon ends the game. There are also lots of giant rats in this version of the screensaver.

Screensaver Subterfuge was designed by Cahoots Malone as part of the PROCJAM 2017 generative software showcase. You can download it for free for Windows, macOS, and Linux from his website, or if playing a game sounds like too much work, you can always watch videos of the old screensaver on a loop.

[h/t Motherboard]

Get Paid to Write Dirty Jokes for Cards Against Humanity

tom_bullock, Wikimedia Commons // CC BY 2.0

If you've exhausted every possible joke combination in Cards Against Humanity, the makers of the game have a new outlet for your wit. Apply to be a contributing writer and you could get paid to write the gross, bizarre, and occasionally offensive cards that go into new editions of the game.

For the uninitiated, here's how Cards Against Humanity works: A player draws a black card, which has a sentence with a section missing from it, and puts it down for the group to see. The rest of the players then put down white cards with words or phrases that could potentially fill in the blank. The player who comes up with the best joke wins the round.

In order for the jokes to be funny, the cards themselves need to be well written. That's where the contributing writers come in. As the job posting explains, the new writers will make $40 an hour "writing poop jokes as needed." The position is remote and part-time.

To see if you're a good fit for the gig, Cards Against Humanity is asking that you submit ideas for 15 white cards and five black cards that best exhibit your humor and writing skills. They've even included a handy primer on "how to write cards that don't blow" for applicants who are unsure of where to start. "A good black card allows players to subvert an expected tone or logic," the guidelines explain, while white cards should have "distinct voice, perspective, or syntax." The page also includes general guidelines on structure and the Cards Against Humanity style.

To apply, submit your ideas through the website before August 31. And if you're looking for some offbeat inspiration, this 19th-century version of the game should kickstart your creativity.

Nearly $100,000 in Instant Ramen Was Stolen in Georgia Noodle Heist

iStock
iStock

It's not easy to steal a small fortune when your target is instant ramen, but a team of thieves in Georgia managed to do just that a few weeks back. As The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports, the criminals made off with a trailer containing nearly $100,000 worth of noodles, and the local police force is still working to track down the perpetrators.

The heist occurred outside a Chevron gas station in Fayetteville, Georgia some time between July 25 and August 1, 2018. The 53-foot trailer parked in the area contained a large shipment of ramen, which the truck's driver estimates was worth about $98,000. Depending on the brand, that means the convenience food bandits stole anywhere between 200,000 and 500,000 noodle packs.

Some outlets have connected the truck-jacking to a recent string of vehicle-related robberies, but the Fayette County Sheriff's Office told the AJC such reports are inaccurate. Any potential suspects in the case have yet to be revealed.

The outlaws join the list of thieves who have stolen food items in bulk. Some of the most ambitious food heists in the past have centered on 11,000 pounds of Nutella, $75,000 worth of soup, and 6000 cheesecakes.

[h/t The Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

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