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7 Bizarre Ways Kids Amused Themselves Before Video Games

TinHouse.com
TinHouse.com

This generation is soft, and uninspired. In the old days, all a kid needed to have a good time was imagination, some throwing knives, and a couple of belts tied round his neck. Here are seven examples of forgotten fun.

1. The Trussed Fowl

If you think the main object of playing “Trussed Fowl” would be to escape what has been done to you, you are cowardly and lack imagination. A 1907 book of party games describes the precise method of bondage the game required: “Trussing consists of firmly tying the wrists and ankles, bringing the elbows down below the knees, and slipping a stick under along one elbow, under both knees and over the other elbow." (You can see it illustrated above.) Once properly subjugated, two children are placed foot to foot. The ostensible object of the game is to flip the other child over, using only your toes. The real object of the game is to watch children writhe on the ground. Maybe now you’ll keep your baseball out of my yard, Jimmy.  

2. Catch and Pull

Google Books

In the olden days, kids didn't use video games to get out aggression; it had to come out more organically. Catch and Pull is a game recommended in a 1921 publication as excellent physical exercise for the school gymnasium. Two teams stand on either side of a line. Then, commence Battle Royale. The goal is to grab any body part belonging to an opposite player and use it to drag him to your side of the line, and so on, until there is only one person remaining on the opposing side. The book doesn’t specify what happens to the remaining player, but I hope he would have at least earned the right to choose his own method of execution.

3. Mumbly Peg

Library of Congress

Why don’t kids throw knives at each other anymore? It built character, and prepared you for whatever war you were going to be drafted into. Mumbly Peg was popular among boys in the 19th and early 20th centuries. Each boy would, in turn, perform a series of complicated knife throws—left handed, round the back, launched from behind his ear—escalating in difficulty. The knife had to stick in the ground at the end of each throw. In some versions, winners were picked on how close the knife landed to their own foot. You won automatically if it stuck in your foot (seriously). The first boy to fail to stick a throw would have to get the mumble peg, a piece of wood driven into the ground by the winner, using the knife as a hammer. And he could only use his teeth. Thus, the mumbly part of Mumbly Peg.

4. Kick the Can

The Victory Report

You’ve likely heard of this game, and perhaps, like me, envisioned some sort of depressing urban soccer where tattered children, after licking every last bit of bean juice from the inside of a can, had to use it in place of a ball. In reality, the rules of this game were closer to hide and seek, except with an added element of hopeless futility. The children all hid, except for “It.” It had to track down the hidden kids (who were allowed to move at will) and tag (or in some versions just sight) them. The captured kids went to prison. But none of that really mattered, because at any time a player who was still free could run up and “kick the can,” shouting, “All Ye, All Ye, Out and Free!” (It’s not “olly olly oxen free.” That’s just silly.) Then all the prisoners scrambled and re-hid while It had to go retrieve and replace the can, starting the game all over. People who remember playing this game as child say it usually ended when It became bitter and dehydrated and went home.

5. Progression

Google Books

Progression is a throwback to when birthday parties were more about structured fun and less about parents holding their heads in their hands while children ran screaming around them at the Chuck E Cheese. The players are lined up, and each one must “progress” to a goal point in front of them. The only rule is, you cannot move in any of the same ways the people before you moved. If you’re at the end of a long line of players, you may find yourself furiously slapping your own butt while hopping across the grass on one foot. These games were likely meant to be more fun for the spectators than the participants.

Note that Progression is one of the few physical games where girls were considered viable participants. Girls had their own games, usually involving hand-holding, string, and daisy chains.  Letting them get used to fresh air and be in command of their own bodies would have just been cruel.

6. Dog Fight

Google Books

My theory is that people got so tired of having to be so dignified in the old days, with all their pocket watches and World Wars, that they just needed an outlet. How else to explain two people on all fours, strapping belts around their necks and yanking at each other while spectators literally bark encouragement at them? You’d have to pay good money to get someone to do that for you nowadays.

7. Hot Cockles

Google Books

Now, stepping back further in time, we have Hot Cockles. It sounds uncomfortable, and it is. This Victorian game returns to a common theme in bygone amusements: People sitting around abusing each other for fun. Basically, you laid your head in someone’s lap while all the other party-goers took turns hitting you from behind. The game was to guess who was beating on you. The prize was to be allowed to leave.  

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Jeremy Freeman, TruTV
A New Game Show Helps Contestants Pay Off Their Student Loans
Jeremy Freeman, TruTV
Jeremy Freeman, TruTV

Most game shows offer flashy prizes—a trip to Maui, a million dollars, or a brand new car—but TruTV’s latest venture is giving away something much more practical: the opportunity to get out of student loan debt. Set to premiere July 10 on TruTV, Paid Off is designed to help contestants with college degrees win hard cash to put towards their loan payments, MarketWatch reports.

The show gives college graduates with student loan debt "the chance to test the depth of their degrees in a fun, fast-paced trivia game show,” according to TruTV’s description. In each episode, three contestants compete in rounds of trivia, with one contestant eliminated each round.

One Family Feud-style segment asks contestants to guess the most popular answer to college-related poll questions like “What’s the best job you can have while in college?” (Answer: Server.) Other segments test contestants' general trivia knowledge. In one, for example, a contestant is given 20 seconds to guess whether certain characters are from Goodfellas or the children’s show Thomas & Friends. Some segments also give them the chance to answer questions related to their college major.

Game show host Michael Torpey behind a podium
TruTV

Based on the number of questions they answer correctly, the last contestant standing can win enough money to pay off the entirety of their student debt. (However, like most game shows, all prizes are taxable, so they won't take home the full amount they win.)

Paid Off was created by actor Michael Torpey, who is best known for his portrayal of the sadistic corrections officer Thomas Humphrey in the Netflix series Orange is the New Black. Torpey, who also hosts the show, says the cause is personal to him.

“My wife and I struggled with student debt and could only pay it off because—true story—I booked an underpants commercial,” Torpey says in the show’s pilot episode. “But what about the other 45 million Americans with student loans? Sadly, there just aren’t that many underpants commercials. That is why I made this game show.”

The show is likely to draw some criticism for its seemingly flippant handling of a serious issue that affects roughly one in four Americans. But according to Torpey, that’s all part of the plan. The host told MarketWatch that the show is designed “to be so stupid that the people in power look at it and say, ‘That guy is making us look like a bunch of dum dums, we’ve got to do something about this.’”

Paid Off will premiere on Tuesday, July 10 at 10 p.m. Eastern time (9 p.m. Central time).

[h/t MarketWatch]

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Kena Betancur, AFP/Getty Images
Want to Live as Long as an Olympian? Become a Chess Grandmaster
Kena Betancur, AFP/Getty Images
Kena Betancur, AFP/Getty Images

It’s well known that physical fitness can help prolong your life, so it’s not surprising that elite athletes, like Olympians, tend to have longer lifespans than your average couch potato. But it seems that “mind sports” can help keep you alive longer, too. According to BPS Research Digest, a recent study suggests that international chess grandmasters have lifespans comparable to Olympic athletes.

The study, published in PLOS ONE, examined the survival rates of 1208 mostly male chess grandmasters and 15,157 Olympic medalists from 28 countries, and analyzed their life expectancy at 30 years and 60 years after they attained their grandmaster titles. They found that both grandmasters and Olympic medalists exhibited significant lifespan advantages over the general population. In fact, there was no statistical difference between the relative survival rates of chess champions and athletic champions.

There are several variables that the study couldn’t take into account that may be linked to chess players’ long lifespans, though. Grandmasters often employ nutritionists and physical trainers to keep them at their best, according to the researchers, and exercise regularly. Economic and social status can also influence lifespans, and becoming a world-champion chess player likely results in a boost in both areas.

Some research has shown that keeping your mind sharp can help you in old age. Certain kinds of brain training might lower the risk of developing dementia, and one study found that board game players in particular have slightly lower rates of dementia.

If keeping the mind sharp with chess really does extend lifespans, the same effect might apply as well to elite players of other “mind sports,” like Go, poker, or competitive video games. We’ll need more research to find out.

[h/t BPS Research Digest]

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