10 Hotel Secrets from Behind the Front Desk

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iStock

By Jacob Tomsky

Jacob has worked on the front lines of hotels for more than a decade, starting as a lowly valet in New Orleans and ultimately landing at a front desk in New York City. He’s also the author of Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality and a man with some hospitality secrets to spill.

1. HOTELS ARE RAKING IT IN.

The fact that a hotel could fail to be profitable astounds me. Why? The average cost to turn over a room, to keep it operational per day, is between $30 and $40. If you’re paying less than $30 dollars a night at a hotel/motel, I’d wager the cost to flip that room runs close to $5. Which makes me want to take a shower. At home. That $40 turnover cost includes cleaning supplies, electricity, and hourly wages for housekeepers, minibar attendants, front desk agents, and all other employees needed to operate a room as well as the cost of laundering the sheets. Everything. Compare that with an average room rate, and you can see why it’s a profitable business.

2. STAYING FOR JUST ONE NIGHT? YOU MIGHT GET “WALKED.”

The term “walking a guest” sends shivers down any manager’s spine. Since the average no-show rate is 10 percent daily, hotels will overbook whenever possible. The sales and reservations departments are encouraged to book the property to 110 percent capacity, in the hopes that with cancellations and no-shows they will fill every room. What happens when the numbers game doesn’t play in the hotel’s favor? Someone gets walked. The hotel will now pay for the entire night’s room and tax (plus one phone call—how cute is that?) at another comparable hotel in the area.

A guest is more likely to get walked if:
1. He booked using Expedia, hence he has a deeply discounted rate and is less important.
2. He never stayed here before and may never visit the city again.
3. He’s a one-nighter.
4. And this one is so much more important than all the others: He is acting like a jerk.

3. SMART COMPLAINERS WIN.

Though most complaints should be delivered to the front desk directly, in person or on the phone, keep in mind that most issues will not have been caused by the front desk at all. So briefly outline your problem, offer a solution if you have one, and then ask whom you should speak with to have the problem solved. “Should I speak to a manager about this?” “Should I speak to housekeeping about this?” Those are wonderful and beautiful questions to ask. Most of the time, the front desk will be able to solve the problem immediately or at least act as proxy.

Want to make sure that the agent doesn’t nod, say “certainly,” and not do a damn thing? Get his or her name. Nothing tightens up an employee’s throat like being directly identified. You don’t have to threaten him or her either, just a nice casual “Thanks for your help. I’ll stop by later to make sure everything has been taken care of. Tommy, right?” Whatever you asked me to do I am doing it. (Will screaming get you what you want? Well, probably. But it’s not nearly as effective.)

4. THERE’S A BETTER WAY TO CASE A PILLOW.

To put on a pillowcase, the housekeepers throw a solid karate chop right down the middle of the pillow and then shove it in, folded like a bun. This method is preferred to the civilian method of tucking it under your chin and pulling up the pillowcase like a pair of pants because these ladies have no interest in letting 50 pillows a day come into contact with their faces.

5. ENJOY YOUR LEMONY FRESH GLASSES.

You know what cleans the hell out of a mirror, and I’m talking no streaks? Windex? No. Furniture polish. Spray on a thick white base, rub it in, and you’ll be face-to-face with a spotless, streak-free mirror. However, I am not recommending you take this tip and apply it in your own home. Though using furniture polish is quick and effective, over time it causes a waxy buildup that requires a deep scrub.

The housekeepers kept this move behind closed doors along with another dirty secret I didn’t discover until I walked in on ladies with Pledge in one hand and a minibar glass in the other. Keeping those glasses clean-looking was also part of the job. So the next time you put a little tap water into the glass and wonder why it has a pleasant lemon aftertaste, it’s because you just took a shot of Pledge.

6. NEVER, EVER PAY FOR THE MINIBAR.

Minibars. Most people are appalled at the prices. However, you never have to pay for the items in the minibar. Why not? Minibar charges are, without question, the most disputed charges on any bill. That is because the process for applying those charges is horribly inexact. Keystroke errors, delays in restocking, double stocking, and hundreds of other missteps make minibar charges the most voided item. Even before guests can manage to get through half of the “I never had those items” sentence, I have already removed the charges and am now simply waiting for them to wrap up the overly zealous denial so we can both move on with our lives.

See Also: 19 Secrets of UPS Drivers

7. BOOK ON A DISCOUNT SITE, GET A DISCOUNT EXPERIENCE.

Reservations made through Internet discount sites are almost always slated for our worst rooms. Does this seem unfair? First of all, we earn the slimmest profit from these reservations. And honestly, those guests didn’t really choose our property based on quality; they chose based on value. We were at the top of a list sorted by price. But the guest behind them in line, the one with a heavy $500 rate, she selected this hotel. When she comes to New York, she goes to our website to see what’s available. Since we have no reason to assume Internet guests will ever book with us again, unless our discount is presented to them, it truly makes business sense to save our best rooms for guests who book of their own volition.

8. BELLMEN HATE YOUR SUITCASE—BUT NOT BECAUSE IT’S HEAVY.

Bernard Sadow: the man all bellmen hate, though they’ve never heard his name. In 1970, he invented the wheeled suitcase, the bane of the bellman’s existence. Before that, the bellman was a necessity, a provider of ease and comfort, a useful member of society. When Sadow sold his first prototype to Macy’s in October 1970, he instigated a catastrophic change in the hospitality environment, causing the once noble species to retreat, rethink, and reemerge as a hustler fighting for survival. Sadow might as well have invented the phrase no bellman wants to hear, the phrase that leaves bills unpaid and ruins Christmas: “No, thanks, I got it.” Or that surprisingly prevalent and ignorant phrase: “I don’t want to bother him.” Don’t want to bother him? The man has a family. No one is being bothered here!

9. FRONT DESK AGENTS CAN ALSO BE AGENTS OF KARMA.

Any arriving guest should receive what are referred to as initial keys, which are programmed to reset the door lock when they are first inserted, deactivating all previous keys. Not until the keys expire or a new initial key enters the lock will the keys fail to work. With a “key bomb,” I cut one single initial key and then start over and cut a second initial key. Either one of them will work when you get to the room, and as long as you keep using the very first key you slipped in, all will be well.

But chances are you’ll pop in the second key at some point, and then the first key you used will be considered invalid. Trace that back to me? Not a chance. Trace that back to the fact that you told your 9-year-old daughter to shut her mouth while harshly ripping off her tiny backpack at check-in? Never.

See Also: 10 Flight Attendant Secrets

10. THERE’S ONE SUREFIRE WAY TO GET AN UPGRADE.

Here is one of the top lies that come out of a front desk agent’s mouth: “All the rooms are basically the same, sir.”

Bull. There is always a corner room, a room with a bigger flat screen, a room that, because of the building’s layout, has a larger bath with two sinks, a room that fits two roll-aways with ease, a room that, though listed as standard, actually has a partial view of the Hudson River. There is always a better room, and when I feel that 20 you slipped me burning in my pocket, I will find it for you. And if there is nothing to be done room-wise, I have a slew of other options: late checkout, free movies, free minibar, room service amenities, and more. I will do whatever it takes to deserve the tip and then a little bit more in the hope that you’ll hit me again.

Some people feel nervous about this move. Please don’t. We are authorized to upgrade for special occasions. The special occasion occurring now is that I have a solid 20. That’s special enough for me!

This article originally appeared in mental_floss magazine.

10 Tips for Stress-Free Holiday Travel

iStock.com/grinvalds
iStock.com/grinvalds

Anyone who has traveled during the holidays knows how taxing it can be. Traffic is slow, airport security lines seem to move even slower, and your fellow travelers aren’t always patient. While we can’t promise that your journey to grandma’s house this November and December will be enjoyable, we know of a few travel tips to make it less stressful.

1. TRY TO TRAVEL ON THE ACTUAL HOLIDAY.

The day before Thanksgiving is one of the busiest days of the year for holiday travel by air, and this year is expected to be especially bad. Drivers will face a similar situation if they head out on Wednesday, if Google’s analysis of road conditions last Thanksgiving are anything to go by. For these reasons, it’s always wise to travel several days before the holiday or on the holiday itself when possible. Sure, the latter scenario is less than ideal, but the flights are cheaper and the crowds smaller. And since Thanksgiving is such an unpopular day to start your journey, you might even be upgraded to first class.

If traveling day-of isn’t an option, here are a few more travel tips: Try to book a flight early in the morning or late in the evening. Morning fliers tend to enjoy fewer delays, but you’ll beat the crowds if you wait until the evening to fly out.

2. PACK LIGHT FOR HOLIDAY TRAVEL ...

A suitcase with men's clothing inside
iStock.com/mikkelwilliam

If you’ll only be out of town for a few days, there’s no reason to lug around a 60-pound suitcase. The lighter your suitcase, the better you’ll feel—and you won’t have to worry about excess baggage fees, either. We understand that packing light can be challenging, though. If you’re struggling to zip your suitcase shut, try layering up before you head to the airport. Remove the heaviest and bulkiest clothing items from your bag (think boots, winter coats, and big sweaters) and wear them instead. You can always remove them once you get through airport security and store them in the plane's overhead bin.

3. ... AND PACK YOUR LAPTOP LAST.

One more travel tip for packing: If you’re traveling with a laptop, pack it in your carry-on last, along with your liquids. That way, when you head through the dreaded airport security line, you can remove them quickly without having to rummage around.

4. DON'T CARRY WRAPPED GIFTS.

Wrapping gifts in advance and stowing them in your suitcase might seem like good planning on your part, but you might end up creating more work for yourself. According to the TSA, wrapped presents are permitted, but security officers might need to unwrap them if something requires closer inspection. “We recommend passengers to place presents in gift bags or wrap gifts after arriving to avoid the possibility of having to unwrap them during the screening process,” the TSA wrote on its website. “Another good option is to ship them ahead.”

5. RESERVE AIRPORT PARKING IN ADVANCE.

Airport parking lots can fill up pretty fast around the holidays. To avoid having to loop around the lot for 45 minutes, log onto your local airport’s website to see if you can secure a parking spot in advance. Booking online might even save you some money, and you can also check out ParkRideFly’s website for discounted parking rates.

6. CARRY AN EMPTY WATER BOTTLE.

A man holds a water bottle at the airport
iStock.com/ajr_images

It’s important to stay hydrated if you have a long flight ahead, since drinking plenty of fluids can help stave off jet lag. But why pay $4 for a bottle of water at the airport when you can bring your own reusable bottle and fill it up for free at a water fountain near your gate? Just make sure it starts out empty until you get through airport security—you wouldn’t want to hold up the line and get side-eye from your fellow passengers.

A few other travel tips for packing your purse or carry-on: Bring a phone charger, toothbrush, other must-have toiletries, glasses and contacts, medications, an extra pair of underwear, headphones or earplugs, hand sanitizer, and wet wipes (after all, those airport security bins are germ-infested cesspools).

7. TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR SUITCASE.

If you need to check a bag, snap a photo of your suitcase before you hand it over to the airline. That way, if it gets lost, you won’t have to rack your brain trying to remember whether it’s black or navy blue while describing its appearance to airline staff. If your suitcase is rather nondescript, consider tying a colorful ribbon around the handle to set it apart. This will come in handy when you go to retrieve your bag from the luggage carousel.

8. SWAP BELONGINGS WITH A COMPANION.

You and another traveler in your group—be it a spouse or a sibling—may want to swap a few belongings while you're packing. If you put a few essential items in their bag, and let them put a few must-haves in yours, you won’t feel so helpless if one of your bags gets delayed or lost.

9. USE APPS TO FIGURE OUT WHEN TO LEAVE YOUR HOUSE.

Domestic travelers are generally advised to arrive at the airport two hours before their flight. However, if you’re traveling close to a major holiday, you’ll want to factor traffic and long airport lines into the equation. So when should you leave the house? Google Maps can help you figure it out. After plugging in the airport address, you can select the Traffic feature (on both the desktop version and within the app) to see a color-coded map of the fastest and slowest routes. The app can even remind you to leave at a certain time depending on when you want to arrive. Waze is another useful app for travelers to have on hand. It provides updated traffic information in real-time and relies on user-submitted data about traffic jams and accidents.

10. TRY TO AVOID AIRLINE COUNTERS.

Curbside check-in at an airport
iStock.com/Jodi Jacobson

The ability to check into a flight online is one of the greatest gifts given to travelers. Take advantage of that by printing out your boarding pass at home, having it sent to you in an email, or saving it to your smartphone’s Apple Wallet or Google Pay app. If you don’t have to check any luggage, you can head straight to your airport's security checkpoint and save yourself a lot of time. Plus, you might end up in an earlier boarding group or get better seats, according to Smarter Travel. If you do have to drop off a bag, that’s no problem either. Curbside check-in tends to be faster than the airline counters inside most airports. If that isn’t available, some airlines also have an expedited “bag drop” line you can hop into if you’ve already checked in.

This Ultra-Comfy Travel Onesie Has an Inflatable Hood and Neck Pillow

Onepiece
Onepiece

If you’re preparing to take a 10-hour flight, you’re probably going to reach for the comfiest outfit in your closet rather than the trendiest one. So, in an effort to design the “ultimate travel apparel,” Norwegian brand Onepiece has created a unisex line of Inflatable Travel Jumpsuits—otherwise known as onesies.

The outfit, spotted by Travel + Leisure, boasts over 15 airplane-friendly features that frequent travelers will appreciate. The hood inflates to form a cushion, and a built-in neck pillow also puffs up to provide some extra support. Use the “snooze cap” to shield your eyes, and if you really want to block out all the light, you can cover your face by zipping the hood down (there’s still plenty of breathing room). Finally, to prevent any awkward contact with your neighbor while you nod off, you can strap yourself into your seat by using the sleeping mask and adjustable head stabilizer.

Different features of the onesie
Onepiece

There are also plenty of pockets. One is large enough to fit a tablet or magazine, while double-zipped kangaroo pockets are designed to protect your valuables. The pants also sport cargo pockets, and additional velcro pockets inside the chest area of the onesie can be detached and placed in a tray while you go through airport security.

Perhaps most importantly, there’s a zippered “Rear Exit Solution” on the butt of the pants, so if you need to do your business, you won’t have to get half-naked to do so.

We get that most people probably stopped wearing onesies after their seventh birthday, but the fact that the shirt and bottoms are connected is actually pretty subtle. Check out the company’s Kickstarter video below to see it being modeled, and if you’re interested in sporting this look, you have until November 12 to back the project and secure your onesie for $149.

[h/t Travel + Leisure]

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