26 Punny Halloween Costume Ideas From a Pun Champion

Sarah Turbin
Sarah Turbin

Feeling creatively bankrupt this Halloween? Can’t stand the idea of donning another generic witch cap, ghost sheet, or sexy pizza rat costume? You’ve come to the right place.

If you, like me, have been accused of suffering from witzelsucht, or any other such judgment leveled against your innocent penchant for puns, then let it be known: Halloween is the costumed arena where we shall have our revenge. What follows below is a list of pun-based costumes for Halloween, each of which assuredly consists of a very long walk to a very short punchline. Let the groans begin.

A woman dressed in green wearing leaves and a shirt with prime numbers on it.
Sarah Turbin

1. Dress as a Jungle goddess and cover yourself in numbers that can’t be divided. You’re Amazon Prime.

2. Dress as a many-pronged garden tool and rap all night. You’re d’rake.

3. Dress as a zombie boxer and say you’re there to kill a doppelganger. You’re a dead ringer.

4. If you’re just single and looking for love, put on a coal worker’s hat and a headlight. You can flirt by saying you’re an unaccompanied miner.

5. Dress as a bloodsucking bug and act jittery all night. You’re just a nervous tick.

A woman wearing an outlet costume with doodles on it.
Sarah Turbin

6. Create an electrical socket out of cardboard and then doodle, collage and scrapbook all over it. You’re a creative outlet.

7. Dress as a jar of Jif peanut butter and cover yourself in gold flowers. When people ask, say you’re Jif Gold-bloom.

8. Attach half of a window to your butt. Say you’re a pane in the ass.

9. Dress as a sea cow in every color of the rainbow. Introduce yourself as all of hue-manatee.

10. Put a muzzle on your face and create a podium out of cardboard. You’re a Hannibal lectern.

A woman wrapped in plastic wrap holding cards.
Sarah Turbin

11. Cover yourself in parchment or wrapping paper and draw dice and question marks all over it. Voilà! Chance the Wrapper.

12. Cover yourself in gold body paint and carry around a saxophone. You’re Goldman Sax. (Bonus points if you can actually play "Careless Whisper.")

13. Wear a sign that says Route 666. When people point out the extra 6 as a mistake, correct them by saying “No, I’m the Route of All Evil.”

14. Get together a group of 12 of your single friends and just say you’re the “bae-cursed dozen.”

15. Get a bunch of girlfriends together to dress in formalwear and fine jewelry, then add bucket hats and fishing poles. Fight all night. When people ask, say you’re the Reel Housewives (of whatever city).

A woman in pink overalls, carrying a whip, wearing a hat and a nametag that says "Anna Jones."
Sarah Turbin

16. Dress like a hipster, introduce yourself as Anna Jones and carry a whip. You’re Indie Anna Jones.

17. Don a nun costume and a silver medal. You’re Second to Nun.

18. Wear all orange, get a spray-tan, and put on a sailor’s hat. You’re a sun-kissed naval orange.

19. Dress as Elmer Fudd and get very very slightly angry at everything. You’re minimum wage.

20. Cover yourself with legal jargon and speak Italian. Tell people you’ve got laws-on-ya.

A man in a suit and top hat holding a steak.
Sarah Turbin

21. Wear a business suit and carry around a hunk of meat. You’re an important steak-holder.

22. For a group of tech junkies: Dress as wild cats and act crazy all night. You can’t help it; you’re just hyper-lynx.

23. Dress as a tube of Colgate Total and photo-bomb people’s pictures all night by standing directly in front of them. You’re the Total Eclipse.

24. Wear a Red Cross on your chest, a leather jacket and sunglasses. You’re the cool aid man.

25. Dress as a kid and cover yourself in flour. Sing peace songs all night—you’re a flour child.

A man wearing bear ears.
Sarah Turbin

26. Lazy? Just put on bear ears. Say you’re doing the bear minimum.

Sam Corbin is a writer and performer based in Brooklyn. Her puns have been featured in The New Yorker, InStyle Magazine, Bust Magazine, Gothamist, and Huffington Post. Sam is also a multi-time champion of the Punderdome, a monthly pun tournament in Brooklyn, New York. She currently works at BuzzFeed. Twitter: @ahoysamantha.

This piece originally ran in 2017.

10 Out-of-This-World Facts About Space Camp

U.S. Department of Education, Flickr // CC BY 2.0
U.S. Department of Education, Flickr // CC BY 2.0

Each year, millions of kids fill their summer vacation days with songs, crafts, and outdoor activities at camp. Summer camps across the U.S. share many similarities, but Space Camp in Huntsville, Alabama is unique. Instead of canoeing and archery, young attendees get to ride spacecraft simulators, build robots, and program computers. It’s the closest young civilians can come to working for NASA.

Space Camp welcomed its first aspiring astronauts in 1982, and since then, more than 900,000 campers have attended the program. From its famous alumni to its depiction in film, here are some more facts about Space Camp.

1. The movie SpaceCamp boosted its popularity.

SpaceCamp, the movie inspired by the real camp in Huntsville, Alabama, wasn’t a huge hit when it debuted in theaters in 1986. It grossed just $9,697,739—a little more than half its reported budget. But it didn’t fade into obscurity completely. The film saw success in the home video market and became popular enough to leave a lasting mark on pop culture. Dr. Deborah Barnhart, the real camp’s director for part of the 1980s, told AL.com that attendance doubled following the movie’s release. SpaceCamp shot many of its scenes on location at the Huntsville center. The life-sized space-shuttle flight-deck and mid-deck built for the film were donated to the camp and used as a simulator there from 1986 to 2012.

2. Space Camp was the brainchild of a missile designer.

Some people may be surprised to learn that Space Camp is located in Alabama and not Florida, home to Cape Canaveral and the Kennedy Space Center (the movie SpaceCamp is set in Florida despite being filmed in Alabama). But Huntsville, Alabama, has been a major aeronautics center since the 1950s when Wernher von Braun and his team of rocketeers moved there. The German scientist had designed ballistic missiles for the United States military after World War II, and shortly after relocating to Huntsville, he redirected his attention to space flight. He launched the U.S. Space and Rocket Center as a way to demonstrate the area’s rocket technology to tourists. Von Braun also came up with the idea for a science-focused alternative to traditional summer camps after seeing children touring the rocket center and taking notes. Space Camp opened at the center in 1982, a few years after his death.

3. Space Camp activities go beyond space.

The kids at Space Camp do more than ride giant rocket simulators. After enrolling, young campers choose a track to focus on. They can study aviation and learn air navigation and combat techniques, choose robotics and build their own robots, or stick to space-centric subjects and activities. The newest Space Camp experience, cyber camp, teaches kids programming and online security skills.

4. The Space Camp simulators don’t make campers sick.

Space Camp is home to three simulators based on real-life training rigs astronauts use to prepare for space missions. The most intense rig is the multi-axis trainer, and just watching a video of it in action may be enough to make you feel queasy. But according to the camp’s website, campers “should not become sick or dizzy on any of our simulators.” On the multi-axis trainer, this is due to the fact that the rider's stomach remains at the center of the chair throughout the simulation, even as the chair itself is spinning in all directions. Motion sickness is caused when your inner ear fluid and your eyes send your brain conflicting information. Because the rig tumbles so wildly, the rider's inner fluid never has a chance to shift and make them want to vomit.

5. Space Camp boasts some famous alumni.

Space Camp attracts bright young minds from around the world, including a few celebrities. Chelsea Clinton attended the week-long program when her father was in the White House in 1993. Amy Carter, Jimmy Carter’s daughter, and Karenna Gore, daughter of Al Gore, also enrolled in the camp. But not every famous Space Camp graduate came from the world of politics: South African actress Charlize Theron is another notable alumna.

6. Several Space Camp graduates went on to be astronauts.

Many kids who go to Space Camp dream of growing up to be astronauts, and for some of them, that dream becomes a reality. The camp’s alumni includes the “Tremendous 12”—a handful of Space Camp graduates who’ve made it to space. Most members of this elite group were trained by NASA, but a few of them went on to work for other space agencies like the ESA.

7. Most Space Campers end up in STEM professions.

Space Camp in Huntsville, Alabama.
GPA Photo Archive, Flickr // CC BY-SA 2.0

Even if they don’t go on to be astronauts, most Space Camp attendees have bright futures ahead of them. According to the camp, 61 percent of graduates are studying aerospace, defense, energy, education, biotech, or technology, or they’re working in one of those fields already. Of the alumni pursuing careers in STEM, half of them said that Space Camp inspired that decision.

8. There’s a Space Camp for visually impaired kids.

The U.S. Space & Rocket Center in Huntsville, Alabama hosts a second Space Camp that shares a lot in common with its original program. There are space simulators, astronaut-training missions, and even scuba diving—the main difference is that the kids there are blind or visually impaired. Space Camp for Interested Visually Impaired Students, or SCIVIS, offers children in grades 4 to 12 a crash course in various STEM subjects. They use accessible tools, like computers adapted for speech and reading materials printed in braille or large print. Activities for the week-long camp are organized by teachers familiar with the needs of visually impaired students.

9. Double Dare sent winners to Space Camp.

After conquering the obstacle course of the Nickelodeon game show Double Dare, kid contestants were sent home with various prizes. Though no doubt exciting in the 1980s and '90s, many of the prizes—which included encyclopedias, cassette recorders, and AOL subscriptions—haven’t aged well. A trip to Space Camp was one of the biggest awards players could win, and it’s one of the few that would still have value today.

10. Adults can go to Space Camp too.

If you never went to Space Camp as a kid, you haven’t missed your chance. While the regular Space Camp is only open to kids ages 9 to 18, the U.S. Space & Rocket Center also offers camp programs for older space enthusiasts. Family Space Camp is designed for groups that include at least one child and one adult, and if you don’t plan on tagging along with a kid, you can enroll in the three-day Adult Space Camp experience that’s strictly for campers 18 and older.

The Hallmark Channel’s First-Ever ‘Christmas Con’ Is Comin’ to Town

macniak/iStock via Getty Images
macniak/iStock via Getty Images

Bookworms have Book Con, comic lovers have Comic Con, and now, courtesy of the Hallmark Channel, Christmas fanatics will finally get the gift they’ve surely written to Santa about more than a few times: Christmas Con.

News 12 New Jersey reports that the festive convention will take place at the New Jersey Convention and Exposition Center in Edison from November 8 through November 10.

If you binge-watch Hallmark Channel’s schmaltzy feel-good flicks faster than St. Nick scarfs down a giant gingerbread cookie, this is your chance to catch its biggest stars in one decked-out hall. Mean Girls (2004) alum Jonathan Bennett will emcee the convention, The Walking Dead’s Alicia Witt will perform a concert, and panels will include guests like Chad Michael Murray, Melissa Joan Hart, and Bennett’s former Mean Girls co-star Lacey Chabert (who will hopefully be showered with enough candy canes to make up for the time that her character, Gretchen Weiners, got none).

In addition to its celebrity events, Christmas Con will also include a Christmas market with gifts, handmade decorations, and holiday treats. You can also don your most lurid holiday sweater for a chance to win a $500 grand prize in the Ugly Christmas Sweater contest, or bake a gingerbread house fit for a prince in the Gingerbread Wars, which could win you $1000.

If you're hoping to attend, you might have to hunt for resale tickets on social media or third-party sites—the passes are already almost sold out on the official website. If you’re willing to shell out a little extra for a snapshot with romance royalty, most of the stars are offering photo opportunities for around $50.

Looking for a less intense way to welcome the holly, jolly holiday season? Watch the 20 best Christmas movies, Die Hard (1988) and all.

[h/t News 12 New Jersey]

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