In Pursuit of Guinness Fame, Two Men Ride the Entire Boston Subway System in Record-Setting Time

iStock
iStock

Two intrepid commuters may have ridden the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority (MBTA) all the way into the Guinness World Records, according to The Boston Globe. On Friday, August 18, locals Alex Cox and Dominic DiLuzio visited every single stop in the city's subway system (more than 125 stations) in a little under 7.5 hours. The record they hope to snag—completing the journey in the fastest time possible— is both unofficial and brand-new, but the two hope to make it an official Guinness World Record category once they submit photos, videos, a log book, and other documentation.

DiLuzio conceived the stunt more than two years ago, after learning of another Beantown resident who completed the challenge in about 8 hours, simply for bragging rights. Cox, who works for the Massachusetts Department of Transportation, was fair game for the project, so DiLuzio recruited him as a partner after submitting an application to Guinness.

On August 18, after months of planning, DiLuzio and Cox woke up bright and early to board a 5:24 a.m. Red Line train at Alewife Station. Amid much jostling, running, bladder-holding, and live-tweeting, the duo finished the entire Red Line in just 90 minutes, before tackling the Mattapan, Orange, Green, and Blue lines. During the final stretch of the trip, the record-seekers were joined by some MBTA officials, according to New England Cable News.

Right before 1 p.m., DiLuzio and Cox reached the Blue Line’s Wonderland stop, signaling the end of their journey. There, they celebrated the ride—which was reportedly around 15 minutes shorter than their predecessor's attempt—with friends, MBTA officials, and media.

“I think everything went incredibly smoothly. We didn’t have any major delays, any breakdowns,” Cox said, according to CBS Boston. "A couple of hiccups here and there, but we stuck exactly to our plan and I can’t believe we did it in the time that we did."

In a few months, DiLuzio and Cox will find out if their subway hustle scored them a Guinness Record, placing them among company like lawyer Matthew Ahn, who rode all 469 New York City subway stops in under 22 hours. In the meantime, the MBTA—which didn’t sponsor or help plan the effort—is cheering the duo on.

[h/t The Boston Globe]

The Question that Baffled Britain's High Court: Are Pringles Chips?

iStock/eskaylim
iStock/eskaylim

Are Pringles potato chips? From 2007 to 2009, that question plagued judges at three different levels of the British judiciary, leading to a series of head-scratchingly comical legal proceedings. The stakes, however, were nothing but serious: The ruling put hundreds of millions of dollars on the line.

The question revolved around Britain’s value-added tax, or VAT. According to the 1994 VAT Act, any product that is “wholly, or substantially wholly, made from the potato” was subject to a 17.5 percent tax. In 2007, Britain’s VAT and Duties Tribunal determined that Pringles fell under the tax’s umbrella—and demanded the chipman payeth.

Procter & Gamble, who owned Pringles at the time, vehemently disagreed. They argued that Pringles were only 42 percent potato flour, with the rest mostly a slurry of wheat starch, corn and rice flour, and vegetable oil. The snack food, they said, could not be classified as a potato chip because, unlike a real potato chip, its overall contents and shape were “not found in nature.”

In addition to being unappetizing, this argument was a marked shift from the company's original position. When the snack first hit shelves in the mid-1960s, Pringles were proudly marketed as “potato chips.” (More specifically, as newfangled potato chips.) They did this despite reported complaints from competing chip-makers, who argued that the snack food—which is cooked from a thin, mashed potato-like dough—should be classified differently.

But now that millions of dollars were on the line, Procter & Gamble’s lawyers wholeheartedly embraced Pringles's unique place as a “not-really-a-chip” chip. The VAT and Duties Tribunal, however, didn’t buy it. In a decision that sounds more like a Zen kōan, the tax masters argued that Pringles were chips because they were “made from potato flour in the sense that one cannot say that it is not made from potato flour.”

To that, the British High Court of Justice basically replied: Wow, that's confusing! Now, excuse us, we would like to top it.

The following year, the High Court stepped in and reversed the Tribunal's decision. First, the Court argued that Pringles were more akin to a cake or bread than a chip. (Who, of course, can forget their first birthday Pringle?) Furthermore, the Court declared that a Pringle—which we should emphasize is, in fact, mostly made from potatoes—was not “made from the potato." Their reasoning invoked Greek metaphysics, claiming that Pringles did not possess the required amount of (and this is their word) “potatoness.”

The controversy didn’t end there. In 2009, the case moved up another judicial wrung, this time to Britain’s Supreme Court of Judicature. The lower court's metaphysical arguments about "potatoness" were enough to make Aristotle's brain hurt, the justices moaned. They criticized the previous ruling for its “overelaborate, almost mind-numbing legal analysis” and dubbed the topic at hand a “short practical question calling for a short practical answer.”

Procter & Gamble’s lawyers bore down anyway. They claimed that a product made from “a number of significant ingredients ... cannot be said to be ‘made from’ one of them.” Lord Justice Jacob called this argument hogwash. If that were true, he argued, then “a marmalade made using both oranges and grapefruit would be made of neither—a nonsense conclusion."

After working itself in and out of semantic pretzels, the Court said the easiest solution to Chipgate was to appeal to a hypothetical child: If you asked an 8-year-old to explain what a Pringle was, what would he or she say?

The question of a Pringle’s identity, the Court argued, “would probably be answered in a more relevant and sensible way by a child consumer than by a food scientist or a culinary pedant.”

In other words, a chip is a chip is a chip—Pringles among them. With that, Procter & Gamble had to pay $160 million in taxes.

Though common sense prevailed, it doesn’t always end that way: Around the time of the great Pringle debate, the state of Oklahoma was busy confidently declaring watermelon a vegetable.

Fart All You Want—These 'Flatulence Jeans' Were Designed to Absorb the Smell

Shreddies
Shreddies

Like it or not, everyone farts, and they do it far more than you’d think. Healthy people pass gas up to 20 times a day, and, as we recently learned, even if you try to hold your farts in, they’ll come out one way or the other—possibly through your mouth. Depending on what you eat and where you pass it, that can get pretty smelly. That is, unless you’re wearing fart-proof pants. A UK-based company called Shreddies makes “flatulence filtering” jeans that promise to eliminate your worst smells before they can escape into the wider world, Business Today reports.

Shreddies products are lined with activated charcoal, a substance that’s great at absorbing odors and gases—so much so that it’s a go-to ingredient for home air filters and purifiers. According to Shreddies, the odor-absorbing qualities of the fabric last around two to three years, at which point you’d probably be buying new jeans, anyway.

A side view of a woman wearing fart-filtering underwear
Shreddies

You still have to mind your farts, though. The company says that to be effective, the jeans have to fit tightly against the skin, ensuring that your gas is absorbed directly into the fabric. “To avoid flatulence escaping around the filter we recommend that you stand with your legs together and try to let your wind out slowly,” the Shreddies website instructs (emphasis theirs). “When sitting, keep your knees together so that flatulence escapes through the carbon panel.” As long as the jeans fit correctly, the filter should absorb all the foul odors leaking out of your body.

The jeans, available for men and women, cost roughly $130 (£100) plus shipping, a price that probably seems worth it to the people in your life who have to deal with your noxious toots.

Not a jeans person? Fear not. The company also makes fart-filtering underwear and pajamas. There are gift options, too, for all of your favorite flatulence-prone friends.

[h/t Business Today]

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