19 Old-Timey Ways to Call B.S.

iStock // Lucy Quintanilla
iStock // Lucy Quintanilla

If you've been using the B.S. word a lot lately, it might be time to change things up. Look no further: We’ve partnered with the editors of the Dictionary of American Regional English (DARE) to bring you 19 old-timey ways to call B.S. from all over the United States.

1. FIDDLE ON A BROOMSTICK

Need to cry nonsense in Vermont? You could one-up fiddlesticks by saying, “Fiddle on a broomstick!” You could also say fiddle up a gum tree.

2. FAIRYDIDDLE

This Nebraska term is a variation of taradiddle, according to DARE, and might be influenced by “fairy tale.” Taradiddle meaning a lie or fib originated around 1796, according to the Oxford English Dictionary (OED), and by 1970 also meant pretentious or empty talk.

3. FAHDOODLE

Another variation on an older word. Fa’doodle is British English from about 1670, according to the OED, while fahdoodle was recorded in New York as of the 1870s. Also related is the 19th century flapdoodle.

4. MALOLLY

“That’s a load of malolly!” you could say when you think somebody is full of it. Used in Georgia and Indiana. Variations include malollypop and molly.

5. GURRY

Other meanings for this Maryland saying for rubbish or nonsense include “diarrhea” from 16th century British English and “fish offal” from 19th century U.S. whaling lingo, according to the OED.

6. BULL DURHAM

This New York City euphemism is also a brand of tobacco. Other bullish yet delicate ways of saying B.S. include bullfeathers in Arkansas and bullcorn in Texas.

7. BUSHWA

This rather old-fashioned Northern term originated around 1920, says the OED. DARE says this probable euphemism for B.S. may also be influenced by the Canadian-French bois de vache, “buffalo dung,” or bois de cheval, “horse dung.”

8. AND 9. DONKEY DUST AND HEIFER DUST

Dust is a polite way of saying “manure.” Hence, donkey and heifer dust are literally manure from a donkey and heifer, and figuratively ways of saying bullshit without saying it. Donkey dust is a Massachusetts native while heifer dust is from the Ozarks.

10. BOTTLEWASH

Instead of “Hogwash!” you can also say, “Bottlewash!” What exactly is hogwash? The OED says it first referred to kitchen scraps used to feed pigs, then to any low quality alcohol, and then to something nonsensical or ridiculous.

11. APPLESAUCE

Applesauce became more than sauce from apples in the 1920s, says DARE, and may also refer to insincere flattery and lies, according to the OED. The term is attributed to Thomas Aloysius Dorgan, a cartoonist, sports writer, and inventor of slan­­­g whose phrases appeared in newspapers "at home and (in translation) abroad."

12. BALOOEY

Balooey!” a Texan might say if they think you’ve said something untrue. This nonsense word is a blend of baloney and hooey. Baloney meaning humbug or nonsense is from about 1928, says the OED, while hooey is from 1924.

13. BOSH

Chiefly used in the South, South Midland, and Northeast, bosh first appeared in English in the 19th century. It comes from the Turkish word bosh, meaning empty or worthless, which entered English because of its use in a popular novel at the time, Ayesha, the Maid of Kars by British writer and diplomat James Justinian Morier.

14. CUSH

Faced with nonsense in Virginia? “That’s a lot of cush,” you could say. DARE says this idiom for nonsense or rubbish might be related to cush, meaning a southern dish made with cornmeal or cornbread that can be sweet or savory.

15. FUSH

Head up to New England and instead of cush, you’d say fush for “nonsense.” To be even more colorful, you could say, “Fush to Bungtown!”

16. FLABBERDEGAZ

If someone from the Northwest says you’re full of flabberdegaz, watch out: They’re saying you’re full of “vain imaginings in speech,” says DARE. The word is probably related to flabbergast, to confuse or confound, and perhaps flabberdegasky, a 19th-century nonce word.

17. FLUMMADIDDLE

Flummadiddle, in addition to nonsense and foolishness, refers to a New England concoction of “stale bread, pork fat, molasses, water, cinnamon, allspice, and cloves,” says DARE. It's a “kind of mush, baked in the oven."

18. FLAPDOODLE

Speaking of weird food, flapdoodle (also spelled flapdaddle) is “an imaginary food of fools,” says DARE, as well as a term for “nonsense.” From The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain: “He gets up ... and slobbers out a speech, all full of tears and flapdoodle.”

19. FLUBDUB

Flub-a-dub-dub, balderdash in a tub. This word for bombastic or inept language has been used in U.S. English since at least 1888, according to the OED.

This Pop Culture Guide to Proofreading Marks Will Help You Write the Perfect Essay

Pop Culture Lab
Pop Culture Lab

Regardless of your profession, proofreading is an important skill to know. A round of revisions will help you express yourself more clearly and eloquently, and penning a perfectly punctuated letter is an underrated art form. Proofreading marks will help you edit more efficiently, but navigating all those squiggles and dots can feel like learning a foreign language.

Here to help is Pop Chart Labs, which used pop culture references to create a fun guide to proofreading marks. As for the Oxford comma—whose use is hotly debated among punctuation purists—the chart makers rule in favor of it. “The movies Kill Bill, While You Were Sleeping, and 28 Days Later are all punctuated by important comas,” the comma section of the poster reads.

The chart
Pop Chart Lab

“I’m Ron Burgundy?” (an Anchorman reference) falls under the question mark category, and “Nobody puts baby in a corner” (Dirty Dancing) is given as an example of text centering.

“Let Beyonce teach you about flushing left (to the left), Italian stereotypes from The Simpsons illustrate ital-ics, Michael Scott portray the pain of having your edits and/or vasectomies reversed, and all too many Game of Thrones characters demonstrate deletion (warning: SPOILERS),” Pop Chart Lab writes in its description of the poster.

With this chart on your wall, you’ll never miss the mark. The 18-inch-by-24-inch poster costs $29 and is currently available for pre-order on Pop Chart Lab's website. Shipping starts October 3.

15 Facts About Talk Like A Pirate Day

iStock
iStock

Ahoy, me hearties! As many of you know, September 19 is International Talk Like A Pirate Day, an annual phenomenon that’s taken the world by storm, having been observed by every continent, the International Space Station, and even the Oval Office since it first made headlines back in 2002. So let’s hoist the Jolly Roger, break out the rum, and take a look back at the holiday’s timber-shivering history.

1. IT WAS ORIGINALLY CONCEIVED OF ON D-DAY.

Talk Like a Pirate Day creators John Baur and Mark Summer (who’ve since acquired the nicknames “Ol’ Chumbucket” and “Cap’n Slappy,” respectively) created the holiday while playing racquetball on June 6, 1995—the 51st anniversary of the invasion of Normandy. Out of respect to the battle’s veterans, a new observance date was quickly sought.

2. SEPTEMBER 19TH ALSO HAPPENS TO BE THE BIRTHDAY OF THE CO-CREATOR'S EX-WIFE.

“[September 19th was] the only date we could readily recall that wasn’t already taken up with Christmas or the Super Bowl or something,” the pair later claimed. Summers claims to harbor no ill will toward his former spouse, who has since stated, “I’ve never been prouder to be his ex-wife!

3. PULITZER PRIZE-WINNING HUMORIST DAVE BARRY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR POPULARIZING THE HOLIDAY.

Dave Barry was so smitten with the holiday after having been introduced to it via email in early 2002 that he dedicated an entire column to its publicity that September, turning an inside joke into a global sensation. He later went on to make a cameo appearance in one of Baur and Summers’s buccaneer-themed music videos in 2011 (look for him in the video above at the 3:25 mark).

4. REAL PIRATES SPOKE A WIDE VARIETY OF DIALECTS.

Despite some extensive “English-to-Pirate” dictionaries that have cropped up all over the Internet the idea that all pirates shared a common accent regardless of national origin is historically absurd, as National Geographic pointed out in 2011.

5. ACTOR ROBERT NEWTON IS HAILED AS THE “PATRON SAINT” OF TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY.

So where did the modern “pirate dialect” come from? Summers and Baur credit actor Robert Newton's performance in Treasure Island (1950) and have accordingly dubbed him the “patron saint” of their holiday. Tasked with breathing life into the scheming buccaneer, Newton simply exaggerated his native West Country accent and the rest is history.

6. BAUR'S FAMILY WAS FEATURED ON A PIRATE-THEMED EPISODE OF WIFE SWAP.

The reality show’s highly-anticipated 2006 season premiere pitted the Baurs (in full pillaging regalia) against a family which, according to John’s wife Tori (a.k.a. “Mad Sally”), “behaved as though ‘fun’ was something that had to be pre-packaged for their protection.”

7. BAUR WAS ALSO ON JEOPARDY!

Baur was described to the audience as “a writer and pirate from Oregon” in his 2008 appearance. “I didn’t win,” Baur said, “but the introduction made Alex blink.”

8. TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY HAS BECOME A CORNERSTORE OF THE PASTAFARIAN MOVEMENT.

Bobby Henderson, founder of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, cited Earth’s dwindling pirate population as the clear source of global warming in his 2005 open letter to the Kansas school board which established the religion. Since then, Talk Like A Pirate Day has been observed by devout Pastafarians worldwide. 

9. A FLORIDA MAYOR ONCE IGNITED A LOCAL CONTROVERSY FOR MAKING AN OFFICIAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY PROCLAMATION.

In 2012, Lake Worth, Florida Mayor Pam Triolo lightheartedly urged her constituents to embrace the holiday last year, writing, “The City … is known to possess a spirit of independence, high spirits, and swashbuckling, all traits of a good pirate.” Her actions were criticized by the city’s former commissioner, Jo-Ann Golden, who took offense to the association with murderous seamen.

10. DAY OF THE THE NINJA WAS CREATED IN RESPONSE TO TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY.

Not to be outdone by their hated rivals, the pro-ninja community was quick to execute the first annual Day of the Ninja on December 5, 2002. For Summers and Baur’s take on the warring factions, see the clip above.

11. ASTRONAUTS ONCE CELEBRATED TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY ABOARD THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION.

In a 2012 interview, Summers recalled being “informed that the astronauts on the International Space Station were awakened to ‘A Pirate’s Life For Me' and joined in the pirate talk from space.”

12. PRESIDENT OBAMA ONCE CELEBRATED WITH A COSTUMED BUCCANEER IN THE OVAL OFFICE.

In 2012, Barack Obama tweeted this image on Talk Like a Pirate Day with the caption “Arr you in?”

13. A CONGRESSMAN LATER USED THE HOLIDAY TO SLAM OBAMA'S TAX PLAN.

In 2011, Florida’s 12th congressional district representative Dennis Ross used the festivity as a political punchline after Obama made a speech detailing his tax plan, tweeting, “It is TALK like a pirate day … not ACT like one. Watch ye purses and bury yr loot, the taxman cometh.”

14. IT'S AN OFFICIAL HOLIDAY IN THE STATE OF MICHIGAN.

On June 4, 2013, state senator Roger Kahn’s proposal to grant Talk Like A Pirate Day official acknowledgement from the Michigan government was formally adopted, to the chagrin of some dissenting landlubbers. 

15. TALK LIKE A PIRATE, GET A FREE DEEP FRIED TWINKIE.

Rejoice, sweet-toothed scallywags: There's free grub to be had on Talk Like a Pirate Day. Talk like a pirate at your local Long John Silver's, and you'll get a free deep fried Twinkie. Dress like a pirate and you'll get a free Fish N' Fry. (Though you'll want to make sure your local restaurant is participating before putting on your best eye patch.)

This story originally ran in 2013.

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