Man's Personal Ad from 1865 Goes Viral More Than 150 Years Later

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Dating and courtship rituals have changed over the centuries, but judging from the vintage personal ad below, a nice smile has always been a selling point for potential partners.

This newspaper listing from 1865 spotted by Elite Daily lists the qualities of a single, 18-year-old man from Maine, including "a good set of teeth." Oxford University researcher Max Roser rediscovered the plea for romance, and posted a Twitter image of the ad for our modern enjoyment.

Dating apps (or, for that matter, the internet) didn’t exist during the 19th century, so singles sometimes posted carefully worded newspaper bulletins to snag a spouse. In this particular case, the man chose to open the ad by highlighting his full-toothed grin—a desirable trait, considering the era’s questionable dental hygiene practices.

The Maine man goes on to describe his patriotism, his thriving career as a farmer, and his many pets: sheep, a 2-year-old bull, and two young female cows. And if toothy charm alone weren't enough to attract a partner, his desire for commitment and willingness to spoil her—combined with a hint of endearing vulnerability—hopefully would.

"I want to get married," the ad concludes. "I want to buy bread-and-butter, hoop skirts, and waterfalls for some person of the female persuasion during life. That’s what’s the matter with me. But I don’t know how to do it."

[h/t Elite Daily]

Get Paid to Write Dirty Jokes for Cards Against Humanity

tom_bullock, Wikimedia Commons // CC BY 2.0

If you've exhausted every possible joke combination in Cards Against Humanity, the makers of the game have a new outlet for your wit. Apply to be a contributing writer and you could get paid to write the gross, bizarre, and occasionally offensive cards that go into new editions of the game.

For the uninitiated, here's how Cards Against Humanity works: A player draws a black card, which has a sentence with a section missing from it, and puts it down for the group to see. The rest of the players then put down white cards with words or phrases that could potentially fill in the blank. The player who comes up with the best joke wins the round.

In order for the jokes to be funny, the cards themselves need to be well written. That's where the contributing writers come in. As the job posting explains, the new writers will make $40 an hour "writing poop jokes as needed." The position is remote and part-time.

To see if you're a good fit for the gig, Cards Against Humanity is asking that you submit ideas for 15 white cards and five black cards that best exhibit your humor and writing skills. They've even included a handy primer on "how to write cards that don't blow" for applicants who are unsure of where to start. "A good black card allows players to subvert an expected tone or logic," the guidelines explain, while white cards should have "distinct voice, perspective, or syntax." The page also includes general guidelines on structure and the Cards Against Humanity style.

To apply, submit your ideas through the website before August 31. And if you're looking for some offbeat inspiration, this 19th-century version of the game should kickstart your creativity.

Nearly $100,000 in Instant Ramen Was Stolen in Georgia Noodle Heist

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It's not easy to steal a small fortune when your target is instant ramen, but a team of thieves in Georgia managed to do just that a few weeks back. As The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports, the criminals made off with a trailer containing nearly $100,000 worth of noodles, and the local police force is still working to track down the perpetrators.

The heist occurred outside a Chevron gas station in Fayetteville, Georgia some time between July 25 and August 1, 2018. The 53-foot trailer parked in the area contained a large shipment of ramen, which the truck's driver estimates was worth about $98,000. Depending on the brand, that means the convenience food bandits stole anywhere between 200,000 and 500,000 noodle packs.

Some outlets have connected the truck-jacking to a recent string of vehicle-related robberies, but the Fayette County Sheriff's Office told the AJC such reports are inaccurate. Any potential suspects in the case have yet to be revealed.

The outlaws join the list of thieves who have stolen food items in bulk. Some of the most ambitious food heists in the past have centered on 11,000 pounds of Nutella, $75,000 worth of soup, and 6000 cheesecakes.

[h/t The Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

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